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01-02-2013 at 12:23 AM
pixieshay
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Joined on 12-14-2012
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pixieshay is not online. Last active: 01-27-2013, 1:23 AMNewbie

Help.

Am I pregnant?!

...haha just kidding, I'm really not asking that.

Actually, I just introduced myself a couple days ago, and one thing I didn't mention is that DH and I have about 4 cycles to ttc, otherwise we have to wait another year. What would really be helpful for us, is to hear from you all, real women ttc, how long you have been ttc and everything you've been doing to "better the chances".

Also, DH is convinced that it won't take that long to actually get pregnant. I'm a bit worried that he doesn't understand the percentages, and can't get a grasp on it. He needs real people with the experience.

So what I'm asking, is if you could just help me to know what to say and how to explain to him, that it could take us up to a year to get pregnant, and there's only a 20 chance every time.
I've researched and tried to show him, but is there a more delicate but straight forward way of getting him to understand that it's not "a snap of the fingers" and if we want it to happen sooner, we need to do everything to help better the chances.


:/
Thanks in advance.
Shay
 
01-02-2013 at 12:38 AM
cody&dez
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Joined on 12-18-2008
Portland, OR
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cody&dez is not online. Last active: 01-14-2013, 8:34 PMNewbie
What I read was "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" which is good both for those after a loss, just TTC, or with fertility issues. the author lays out the percentages and how you can raise the percentages based on charting and having sex frequently, I took notes and presented them to the DH so that he could be more aware. He is now on board with the book's plan as the percentage can be raised to as high as 65% (according to the book) if your having sex during your fertile window. Most other ladies here recommend a different book, which I intend to read as well and compare notes,
01-02-2013 at 12:42 AM
mrssifu
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mrssifu is not online. Last active: 02-27-2013, 12:32 AMNewbie

Hey! My man is super excited about TTC and gung-ho on doing it like... yesterday.  Ha ha, so this is a worry I have with him, too.  I just try to find shorter articles for him to read, bring up pregnancy conversation and really just wait for him to ask questions (which he does more frequently than you would think of a man) and I try to be as correct and informative as I can.

However, he's asked me about my BC pill and ovulation and how they all work and all that, and he's asked 3 times in three months... I'm not annoyed, and you shouldn't be either when he doesn't get it right away.  We've been essentially trained in all this our whole lives and they are picking it up first with us.  I know he's eager to learn and understand, and I know repetition is necessary for it to stick.

 Try not to overwhelm him, and possibly bring up the more fun parts of amping up your ability to conceive first (like putting a pillow under your back during... it gets him deeper!) and repeat, repeat, repeat every time he asks! :)

I hope this helps! 

 
01-02-2013 at 12:42 AM
pandaglitt...
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pandaglitter is online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 2:24 AMBronze

Have him watch "The Great Sperm Race" on youtube. It's in six parts.

I don't have any advice about how to increase chances besides charting and timing, and I just watched "The Great Sperm Race" and now I'm depressed about doing anything to increase chances hahaha.


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01-02-2013 at 4:13 AM
ColeRose
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ColeRose is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 9:48 PMSilver
pandaglitter:

Have him watch "The Great Sperm Race" on youtube. It's in six parts.

This. Also FYI re: "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" the research and stats in that book are questionable at best. Just a heads up.

 


TTC #1 since July 2012

BFP 10.14.12 | EDD 6.22.13 | M/C 10.18.12 (4w5d)
BFP 3.29.13 | EDD 12.5.13 | Praying Everyday
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01-02-2013 at 5:00 AM
curlylocks...
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curlylocks3 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 12:14 AMSilver
ColeRose:
pandaglitter:

Have him watch "The Great Sperm Race" on youtube. It's in six parts.

This. Also FYI re: "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" the research and stats in that book are questionable at best. Just a heads up.

 


Yes. People cite that 65 chance stat a lot but it hasn't been proven in other studies. Everything really seems to point to 20you each month.


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TTC since 11/2011
BFP #1 EDD 12/14/12, C/P 4/9
Me: 27, dx DOR, heterozygous Leiden Factor V; H: 28, no known issues
After 3 failed Clomid + IUI cycles we are moving on to IVF in July
Everyone welcome. 
01-02-2013 at 7:31 AM
lorirachel
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lorirachel is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 10:04 PMBronze

to improve your chances I would say to chart and use opks, otherwise have sex EOD starting just after AF leaves until you get either a + or AF again.

We are both young (25+27) with no known health issues and some testing done and are probably moving onto month 10 in the next few days, with proper timing. tell him this is the case with lots of woman you know from the board. sometimes there is no rhyme or reason, just takes time 


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01-02-2013 at 7:52 AM
spacepotat...
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spacepotatoes is not online. Last active: 03-11-2013, 7:47 PMBronze
curlylocks3:
ColeRose:
pandaglitter:

Have him watch "The Great Sperm Race" on youtube. It's in six parts.

This. Also FYI re: "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" the research and stats in that book are questionable at best. Just a heads up.

 

Yes. People cite that 65 chance stat a lot but it hasn't been proven in other studies. Everything really seems to point to 20you each month.

I reread that book last cycle and specifically looked for where the author gives that 65% stat and maybe I'm crazy, but I couldn't find it. She says that sex on O-2 can raise your chances to 1 in 3 but I didn't see anything that would suggest 65%.

01-02-2013 at 9:48 AM
gonzol
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Joined on 02-14-2010
Naples, Italy
32,504 Points
gonzol is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 11:41 PMSilver
ColeRose:
pandaglitter:

Have him watch "The Great Sperm Race" on youtube. It's in six parts.

This. Also FYI re: "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" the research and stats in that book are questionable at best. Just a heads up.

 



Yep.



*I hope you're right Panda*
DX: Unexplained IF
BFP#1: 12/6/10 EDD: 8/16/11
DS #1: 8/9/11

TTC #2: 2/12
BFP #2: 3/30/12 EDD: 12/16/12 C/P: 4/12/12
Cycle 16: IUI #1- TBD in June
**Everyone welcome**
it's a blog? 
01-02-2013 at 10:50 AM
cody&dez
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Joined on 12-18-2008
Portland, OR
3,519 Points
cody&dez is not online. Last active: 01-14-2013, 8:34 PMNewbie
spacepotatoes:
curlylocks3:
ColeRose:
pandaglitter:

Have him watch "The Great Sperm Race" on youtube. It's in six parts.

This. Also FYI re: "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" the research and stats in that book are questionable at best. Just a heads up.

 

Yes. People cite that 65 chance stat a lot but it hasn't been proven in other studies. Everything really seems to point to 20you each month.

I reread that book last cycle and specifically looked for where the author gives that 65% stat and maybe I'm crazy, but I couldn't find it. She says that sex on O-2 can raise your chances to 1 in 3 but I didn't see anything that would suggest 65%.

Oh really? How is it questionable? I have been planning on reading the one recommended often here, I had gone with this one first because of recommendations. It seemed legit to me, and anyway it still got my husband on board. I counted myself in the  20% range anyway because of being overweight and depressed.

 Ah well, I guess I will start reading the other book today so I ca stop quoting it on here, it just seemed the most researched compared to other things I had been reading.

Thanks for the heads up! This forum had definitely been a learning experience. 

01-02-2013 at 11:00 AM
spacepotat...
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spacepotatoes is not online. Last active: 03-11-2013, 7:47 PMBronze
cody&dez:
spacepotatoes:
curlylocks3:
ColeRose:
pandaglitter:

Have him watch "The Great Sperm Race" on youtube. It's in six parts.

This. Also FYI re: "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" the research and stats in that book are questionable at best. Just a heads up.

 

Yes. People cite that 65 chance stat a lot but it hasn't been proven in other studies. Everything really seems to point to 20you each month.

I reread that book last cycle and specifically looked for where the author gives that 65% stat and maybe I'm crazy, but I couldn't find it. She says that sex on O-2 can raise your chances to 1 in 3 but I didn't see anything that would suggest 65%.

Oh really? How is it questionable? I have been planning on reading the one recommended often here, I had gone with this one first because of recommendations. It seemed legit to me, and anyway it still got my husband on board. I counted myself in the  20% range anyway because of being overweight and depressed.

 Ah well, I guess I will start reading the other book today so I ca stop quoting it on here, it just seemed the most researched compared to other things I had been reading.

Thanks for the heads up! This forum had definitely been a learning experience. 

I liked the book a lot and I think there is good info in it. But like anything else, you can't take it at face value. The author presents her own interpretations of some studies and there are a lot of caveats to the studies that she refers to. 

The only place where I found the 65% reference was where said that under certain circumstances (I don't remember offhand what they were), 65% of women got pregnant. That does not translate to a 65% chance for one individual person. My guess is that people (you're not the first) are misinterpreting that.

01-02-2013 at 11:46 AM
cody&dez
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Joined on 12-18-2008
Portland, OR
3,519 Points
cody&dez is not online. Last active: 01-14-2013, 8:34 PMNewbie
spacepotatoes:
cody&dez:
spacepotatoes:
curlylocks3:
ColeRose:
pandaglitter:

Have him watch "The Great Sperm Race" on youtube. It's in six parts.

This. Also FYI re: "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" the research and stats in that book are questionable at best. Just a heads up.

 

Yes. People cite that 65 chance stat a lot but it hasn't been proven in other studies. Everything really seems to point to 20you each month.

I reread that book last cycle and specifically looked for where the author gives that 65% stat and maybe I'm crazy, but I couldn't find it. She says that sex on O-2 can raise your chances to 1 in 3 but I didn't see anything that would suggest 65%.

Oh really? How is it questionable? I have been planning on reading the one recommended often here, I had gone with this one first because of recommendations. It seemed legit to me, and anyway it still got my husband on board. I counted myself in the  20% range anyway because of being overweight and depressed.

 Ah well, I guess I will start reading the other book today so I ca stop quoting it on here, it just seemed the most researched compared to other things I had been reading.

Thanks for the heads up! This forum had definitely been a learning experience. 

I liked the book a lot and I think there is good info in it. But like anything else, you can't take it at face value. The author presents her own interpretations of some studies and there are a lot of caveats to the studies that she refers to. 

The only place where I found the 65% reference was where said that under certain circumstances (I don't remember offhand what they were), 65% of women got pregnant. That does not translate to a 65% chance for one individual person. My guess is that people (you're not the first) are misinterpreting that.

Yeah, I really want to read "Taking charge of your fertility" from Tony Weschler but there is no e-book for it. I would be reading it at work on my breaks and I work with my dad and I don't want him knowing until I'm KO and out of the 12 week mark. 

I suppose I will have to get it and find time to read it just at home.

I guess one thing that book did do was help get my DH on board a little more with timing of sex and charting.

01-02-2013 at 4:05 PM
pixieshay
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Joined on 12-14-2012
702 Points
pixieshay is not online. Last active: 01-27-2013, 1:23 AMNewbie
Thank you all so much for your input, suggestions and advice. I will be approaching my DH with more information and hopefully he will understand better how hard it might be to get KU.

Thank you again!!
Cross your fingers for me.

Xoxo,
Shay
 
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