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01-02-2013 at 1:36 PM
minnergirl
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Held too much?

My lil guy will be 8 weeks on Friday. Took him to the sitter for the first time today and only left him for a few hours to start transitioning into going back to work on Monday. When I picked him up, the sitter made the comment "he sure does like to be held..." And it made me feel bad. Buy I didn't think it was possible to spoil a baby this young. I thought, if he cries, you pick him up. I am at a loss and now I don't know if I need to change what I am doing at home. Isn't he too little to cry it out?
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01-02-2013 at 1:41 PM
jessican08
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He's definitely too little to CIO. My H is constantly telling me I'm holding the babies, especially DS who's a bit needier, too much and it really bugs me. I'm interested to see what others say. Half the time I feel guilty I don't hold them enough Sad
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01-02-2013 at 1:41 PM
kateraid
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My LO is the same. I think a lot of it is their personality. I personally wouldn't let them CIO. They're just really cuddlie and it won't last forever so enjoy it and don't worry about what she says. 
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01-02-2013 at 1:50 PM
minnergirl
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I feel like he does pretty well entertaining himself at times. He will spend 15 to 20 min staring at the mobile on his swing or vibrateybouncy chair. I do have a hard time getting him to nap during the day without holding him. When I try to lay him down he wakes up And fusses.
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01-02-2013 at 2:29 PM
lanea8712
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My LO is 8w today, and I do believe you can spoil a baby this young. My nephew was and had to be broke from it, not fun... So I've tried and my LO would sometimes want laid down n played with rather than held, until he got sick.. Through taking care of him he got spoiled and now at night even won't sleep hardly any unless being held. Now I have to wait until he's feeling better and slowly break him. I can not sleep like that every night! I've gotten so little sleep the last two days but my lil man slept decent on me! 
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01-02-2013 at 2:35 PM
minnergirl
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How do your undo the habit? Just let them cry?
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01-02-2013 at 2:59 PM
mabenner1
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lanea8712:
My LO is 8w today, and I do believe you can spoil a baby this young. My nephew was and had to be broke from it, not fun... So I've tried and my LO would sometimes want laid down n played with rather than held, until he got sick.. Through taking care of him he got spoiled and now at night even won't sleep hardly any unless being held. Now I have to wait until he's feeling better and slowly break him. I can not sleep like that every night! I've gotten so little sleep the last two days but my lil man slept decent on me! 

You can not spoil a 2 month old baby. End of story. They go through so many growth spurts, developmental phases, and all kind of other things that you just can't spoil them. They need nurturing, attention, and cuddles.

OP: Your sitter needs to keep her mouth shut. As babies get older, they grow out of wanting to being held so often. They develop independence and a want/need to explore on their own. Don't worry about what she said.
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01-02-2013 at 3:02 PM
gnomemom
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He is way too young to CIO. Don't worry, you haven't do e anything wrong. Despite what PP stated, it is impossible to spoil a baby that young by holding them too much.

At 2 months old, the part of your baby's brain that understands logic has not yet developed. Your LO can't yet make the connection that if he cries, you will pick him up and he will feel better. Therefore, it's impossible for him to manipulate you. If he is crying, he needs something.

Letting a newborn CIO teaches them not to trust you. And FWIW, I would much rather my LO learn that if he cries, mom or dad will be there for him. The alternative could mean you've taught your baby no one will be there when he needs them. Sleeping through the night isn't worth that cost, IMO.

I once read there are orphanages in the world that are eerily quiet, because the babies have learned if they cry, no one will cone for them and they go into survival mode, conserving energy even though they may be wet, cold or hungry. That's just about the saddest thing I've ever heard. So yeah, pick up your baby as often as you want, and don't let your babysitter make you feel bad about it!

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” -Dr. Seuss
 
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01-02-2013 at 3:50 PM
Betty&Co
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mabenner1:

lanea8712:
My LO is 8w today, and I do believe you can spoil a baby this young. My nephew was and had to be broke from it, not fun... So I've tried and my LO would sometimes want laid down n played with rather than held, until he got sick.. Through taking care of him he got spoiled and now at night even won't sleep hardly any unless being held. Now I have to wait until he's feeling better and slowly break him. I can not sleep like that every night! I've gotten so little sleep the last two days but my lil man slept decent on me! 

You can not spoil a 2 month old baby. End of story. They go through so many growth spurts, developmental phases, and all kind of other things that you just can't spoil them. They need nurturing, attention, and cuddles.

OP: Your sitter needs to keep her mouth shut. As babies get older, they grow out of wanting to being held so often. They develop independence and a want/need to explore on their own. Don't worry about what she said.

I agree with this. PP is wrong, you CANNOT spoil a baby this young. Please don't let your LO CIO. 

I prayed for this child, and the lord has granted me what I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27


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01-02-2013 at 3:58 PM
SamiandEri...
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I agree with MrsNorry and Mabenner1. Two months is waaaaaay too young to cry it out... You can't spoil this young of an infant. Hold LO as often as you can!!!

MrsNorry:
mabenner1:

lanea8712:
My LO is 8w today, and I do believe you can spoil a baby this young. My nephew was and had to be broke from it, not fun... So I've tried and my LO would sometimes want laid down n played with rather than held, until he got sick.. Through taking care of him he got spoiled and now at night even won't sleep hardly any unless being held. Now I have to wait until he's feeling better and slowly break him. I can not sleep like that every night! I've gotten so little sleep the last two days but my lil man slept decent on me! 

You can not spoil a 2 month old baby. End of story. They go through so many growth spurts, developmental phases, and all kind of other things that you just can't spoil them. They need nurturing, attention, and cuddles.

OP: Your sitter needs to keep her mouth shut. As babies get older, they grow out of wanting to being held so often. They develop independence and a want/need to explore on their own. Don't worry about what she said.

I agree with this. PP is wrong, you CANNOT spoil a baby this young. Please don't let your LO CIO. 

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01-02-2013 at 4:41 PM
kbruington
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minnergirl:
I feel like he does pretty well entertaining himself at times. He will spend 15 to 20 min staring at the mobile on his swing or vibrateybouncy chair. I do have a hard time getting him to nap during the day without holding him. When I try to lay him down he wakes up And fusses.

When they are that young there is only so much you can do to entertain them so holding them is what you do most. Enjoy it...pretty soon they'd rather crawl than be in moms arms :(
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01-02-2013 at 4:42 PM
kbruington
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jessican08:
He's definitely too little to CIO. My H is constantly telling me I'm holding the babies, especially DS who's a bit needier, too much and it really bugs me. I'm interested to see what others say. Half the time I feel guilty I don't hold them enough Sad

That pic of your 2 babies is so freaking cute! That little smile is the funniest thing ever!
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01-02-2013 at 4:57 PM
courtnif
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Do you BF? My provider said they notice that BF babies seem to want to be held more than others. I guess it is part of that bond. You can't spoil a baby this young. Just ignore the comments and keep doing what you're doing.
 
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01-02-2013 at 5:40 PM
sadsadie
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gnomemom:
He is way too young to CIO. Don't worry, you haven't do e anything wrong. Despite what PP stated, it is impossible to spoil a baby that young by holding them too much. At 2 months old, the part of your baby's brain that understands logic has not yet developed. Your LO can't yet make the connection that if he cries, you will pick him up and he will feel better. Therefore, it's impossible for him to manipulate you. If he is crying, he needs something. Letting a newborn CIO teaches them not to trust you. And FWIW, I would much rather my LO learn that if he cries, mom or dad will be there for him. The alternative could mean you've taught your baby no one will be there when he needs them. Sleeping through the night isn't worth that cost, IMO. I once read there are orphanages in the world that are eerily quiet, because the babies have learned if they cry, no one will cone for them and they go into survival mode, conserving energy even though they may be wet, cold or hungry. That's just about the saddest thing I've ever heard. So yeah, pick up your baby as often as you want, and don't let your babysitter make you feel bad about it!

 

Yes, the plight of Romanian orphans in the 1980's and early 90's has been extensively studied; these children and babies suffered severe deprivation of every kind and are now being followed as examples of what lack of basic human contact and nurturing does to kids. You can't spoil a baby by holding them too much, but you certainly can hold them and respond to them too little!  Enjoy snuggling your babes while they are young...
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01-02-2013 at 5:42 PM
ihearthud
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If you have some sort of carrier (Baby Bjorn, Moby wrap, whatever) maybe offer to the babysitter that she's welcome to use it. My 4 week old just wants to be held, but I also have a two year old - the carrier works perfectly. No, you cannot spoil a baby that little. If he cries you tend to his needs. 
 
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01-03-2013 at 5:22 AM
Kimbus22
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Your sitter is being a twatwaffle.  It's completely normal to hold an 8 week old a lot.  I'd find someone else to watch him who is more familiar with newborns.
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01-03-2013 at 8:38 AM
lanea8712
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I disagree, it's my opinion - you have yours.

No I do not let my baby CIO. I do entertain him with out holding him everytime / all day long. You can sing, read, talk, rock them back and fourth, lay with them, put them in the swing etc with out having to hold them 24/7.

IMO if you can't lay your baby down for five mins with out them crying - they are spoiled. That is, if when you pick them up they are totally fine and go right to sleep or something until you lay them down again. It's not horrible but it can't stay that way either.  If it was a four yr old doing that, everyone of you would say spoiled to it.

Bash it all you want, it doesn't change my thoughts.  
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01-03-2013 at 1:31 PM
Betty&Co
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lanea8712:

I disagree, it's my opinion - you have yours.

No I do not let my baby CIO. I do entertain him with out holding him everytime / all day long. You can sing, read, talk, rock them back and fourth, lay with them, put them in the swing etc with out having to hold them 24/7.

IMO if you can't lay your baby down for five mins with out them crying - they are spoiled. That is, if when you pick them up they are totally fine and go right to sleep or something until you lay them down again. It's not horrible but it can't stay that way either.  If it was a four yr old doing that, everyone of you would say spoiled to it.

Bash it all you want, it doesn't change my thoughts.  

No one bashed you, we simply pointed out that you were wrong-because you are. No, you CANNOT spoil an 8 week old child. I'm sorry, you just can't. Go back and re-read the thread. NO one said to hold your child 24/7. We said you can't spoil your child by holding them. Your baby did not get spoiled by you taking care of him. If he cries, it's because he needs you. Sometimes, babies just need to be held. It is what it is. He may not be sleeping well for a number of reasons that were previously stated-growth spurt, wonder weeks, etc.

You can't spoil an infant. Plain and simple. 

I prayed for this child, and the lord has granted me what I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27


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01-03-2013 at 4:36 PM
lanea8712
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I was stating my opinion on "spoiled" with that.

I'm choosing to avoid things -if possible - that I'd have to break him of later, like sleeping in bed with us. Maybe you can't spoil an 8 week old - but they get used to things we do.. And it will be spoiling before long.. > That is how I feel honestly. < That doesn't stop me from loving on and holding my LO... I'm trying not to lead to spoiling Later but it's not easy when he's so cute and little. 

I have to admit I knew it would spark some drama when I wrote before,  I was bored, forgive me. I'm over it..

 
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