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01-02-2013 at 1:39 PM
megs71660
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FEMLA for Hubby?

I am curious - does anyone know if fathers can get FEMLA time off of work to stay home when the baby is born? I think that they can, but haven't heard of anyone doing it. My SO is saleried, so does he still get his pay like normal or does it hold? Just wondering if anyone's Daddy has done this or will be doing it?


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01-02-2013 at 1:44 PM
elmoali
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Do you mean FMLA?  If he and his company meet the requirements for employee numbers, length of service and hours worked, yes he would get it.  But all that means is that he can take off up to 12 weeks and have a job to go back to.  It has nothing to do with pay.  Some companies offer short (like 1 or maybe 2 weeks) of paid paternity leave but beyond that, you're looking at unpaid time.

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01-02-2013 at 1:46 PM
JmeJme
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If he qualifies for FMLA (has been at his job a year, worked the 1250 hours, and his company has more than 50 employees) he can take the 12 weeks leave...but it is unpaid leave (usually you can supplement with PTO, though). I would have him look into if his company offers anything else for paternity leave since you'd might as well take advantage if so.

My DH works for a small company, so he doesn't qualify under FMLA...and he only gets 10 days of vacation time a year, so he is just saving as many of those as possible to take after LO is born.












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01-02-2013 at 1:46 PM
Teacher Cl...
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Yes, FMLA is for fathers as well.

Technically, they can't discriminate or hold it against him if he uses it. However, I know a gentleman at DHs work who tends to abuse his sick time, time off, etc. he plans on taking numerous weeks of FMLA and although they can't discriminate, they are very much aware that he is once again trying to get the max out of his time off. There are four other men in the office whose wives had or will be having babies and they are all taking the typical 1 to 2 weeks.

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01-02-2013 at 1:51 PM
bayoubenga...
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My company gives one week off, which I will be taking, plus I will probably take a few days extra.
 
01-02-2013 at 1:54 PM
OhSewCraft...
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All FMLA does is say that they will hold your job at your current pay grade/position title for a maximum of 12 weeks so you can go tend to a family issue (new baby, adoption, severe illness, etc.) It says nothing about getting paid. If you have vacation time or the place you work has specific guidelines for maternity or paternity leave, that is in addition to FMLA.

Its basically just protection that they can't fire you for taking a lot of time (paid or unpaid) off.



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01-02-2013 at 2:00 PM
PeanutR1
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Teacher Clark:
Yes, FMLA is for fathers as well. Technically, they can't discriminate or hold it against him if he uses it. However, I know a gentleman at DHs work who tends to abuse his sick time, time off, etc. he plans on taking numerous weeks of FMLA and although they can't discriminate, they are very much aware that he is once again trying to get the max out of his time off. There are four other men in the office whose wives had or will be having babies and they are all taking the typical 1 to 2 weeks.

 

For the record, the law only says that the company has to give them the unpaid leave and continue their benefit coverage. There is nothing about holding it against them. If a promotion opportunity comes up in a year, and the boss says "Jim took 12 weeks when his kid was born, Bob took 2. Looks like Bob is more committed to the job and is a more needed part of the team - he gets it", they have every right to do that. So no, they can't fire you, but it can certainly affect your H's career.

My H has worked hard to make sure he is indispensable to his boss and team. Taking more than a  week or so off would give the boss a reason to say "hmmm, we're managing pretty well without Joe...". Not how you want to be seen in an economy like this. So he will be back at it within a week or so, depending on what day of the week this blessed event happens.  

 ETA: when we took 2.5 weeks for wedding/honeymoon 3 years ago, his boss said "we need you. Please don't do that to me again!". If your job can be easily done without y for 12 weeks , that's not good...

 
01-02-2013 at 2:06 PM
Wild_flowe...
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yes, he will be using it.  But he'll have to use his sick time during it to get paid.  Unless his company had paternity pay (mine doesn't even have maternity pay), they wouldn't get paid.  But you can use your vacation or sick time during it.  I'm also getting short term disability for a small part, but I have been paying for that policy for a long time.

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01-02-2013 at 2:52 PM
mabenner1
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DH took 2 weeks FMLA when DS was born. It is unpaid time, and all it does it hold his job for him.

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01-02-2013 at 2:52 PM
Heartstrin...
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I don't have all of the details, and I think this might only be in NJ, but we have Family Leave Insurance that we now pay in to.  We get a % of our pay while out on FMLA.  For my husband, it will be about equal to what he would get if he were on disability.  He will only be taking about 1 month once I go back to work, but it's nice he has the option.

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01-02-2013 at 2:52 PM
Talkativ15
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My husband gets 2 weeks unpaid paternity leave when the LO comes and also 60 days for the first year of life for what his company calls 'baby bonding."  He can take the baby bonding time whenever he wants even if vacation is full and there is no more time off and it can be taken in 15 minute increments.  He works for a very struct company so even the small increments will be good if hes running late dropping her off at his moms house before work.  It is all unpaid though.  I would recommend your DH look into it with his job and to see if its an eligible company and hes been there long enough.

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01-02-2013 at 2:54 PM
ahcantrell...
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I would check with his company. My DH doesn't get any time off. He's having to take unpaid sick days, which sucks. 

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01-02-2013 at 3:29 PM
dande2129
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JmeJme:

If he qualifies for FMLA (has been at his job a year, worked the 1250 hours, and his company has more than 50 employees) he can take the 12 weeks leave...but it is unpaid leave (usually you can supplement with PTO, though). I would have him look into if his company offers anything else for paternity leave since you'd might as well take advantage if so.

This.

He has PTO built up, so we will be using roughly two weeks of that. He is still looking into whether his company offers paternity leave, even just a few days.


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01-02-2013 at 3:47 PM
Teacher Cl...
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PeanutR1:

Teacher Clark:
Yes, FMLA is for fathers as well.

Technically, they can't discriminate or hold it against him if he uses it. However, I know a gentleman at DHs work who tends to abuse his sick time, time off, etc. he plans on taking numerous weeks of FMLA and although they can't discriminate, they are very much aware that he is once again trying to get the max out of his time off. There are four other men in the office whose wives had or will be having babies and they are all taking the typical 1 to 2 weeks.

 

For the record, the law only says that the company has to give them the unpaid leave and continue their benefit coverage. There is nothing about holding it against them. If a promotion opportunity comes up in a year, and the boss says "Jim took 12 weeks when his kid was born, Bob took 2. Looks like Bob is more committed to the job and is a more needed part of the team - he gets it", they have every right to do that. So no, they can't fire you, but it can certainly affect your H's career.

My H has worked hard to make sure he is indispensable to his boss and team. Taking more than a  week or so off would give the boss a reason to say "hmmm, we're managing pretty well without Joe...". Not how you want to be seen in an economy like this. So he will be back at it within a week or so, depending on what day of the week this blessed event happens.  

 ETA: when we took 2.5 weeks for wedding/honeymoon 3 years ago, his boss said "we need you. Please don't do that to me again!". If your job can be easily done without y for 12 weeks , that's not good...


Believe me, they are aware. DH is at the same level as this guy. When the next promotion comes up they are aware that DH is very dedicated and the other guy not so much.

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01-02-2013 at 6:20 PM
ajckie
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I would have him go to his HR department and ask. My husband gets up to 7 months PAID leave as long as he has the time available.He can use sick time, personal days or vacation. He's going to take a month and use some of his personal time that he's built up. I know we're really lucky that he has such a great union that worked out his paternity leave. It's the same for mothers and fathers at his job. But he didn't know any of this until he went to his HR office and asked. GL!

 
01-02-2013 at 9:03 PM
sthomas122...
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FMLA is unpaid leave. My husband's work also allows him to take temporary disability which is 50% pay. But we found a better solution and I'm thankful to his company for it. Since we're due in February he can role over all his unused PTO (which is a lot b/c he never takes off work). B/c it's a "planned" leave he can roll it all over but it must be used by March 1st. So, he's going to have about 3.5 weeks paid leave! Have DH contact his HR and see if they offer the same type thing.

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01-03-2013 at 11:56 AM
sararn2004
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PeanutR1:

Teacher Clark:
Yes, FMLA is for fathers as well. Technically, they can't discriminate or hold it against him if he uses it. However, I know a gentleman at DHs work who tends to abuse his sick time, time off, etc. he plans on taking numerous weeks of FMLA and although they can't discriminate, they are very much aware that he is once again trying to get the max out of his time off. There are four other men in the office whose wives had or will be having babies and they are all taking the typical 1 to 2 weeks.

 

For the record, the law only says that the company has to give them the unpaid leave and continue their benefit coverage. There is nothing about holding it against them. If a promotion opportunity comes up in a year, and the boss says "Jim took 12 weeks when his kid was born, Bob took 2. Looks like Bob is more committed to the job and is a more needed part of the team - he gets it", they have every right to do that. So no, they can't fire you, but it can certainly affect your H's career.

My H has worked hard to make sure he is indispensable to his boss and team. Taking more than a  week or so off would give the boss a reason to say "hmmm, we're managing pretty well without Joe...". Not how you want to be seen in an economy like this. So he will be back at it within a week or so, depending on what day of the week this blessed event happens.  

 ETA: when we took 2.5 weeks for wedding/honeymoon 3 years ago, his boss said "we need you. Please don't do that to me again!". If your job can be easily done without y for 12 weeks , that's not good...

I told my dh about how many employers might feel this way and that's why many dads are only taking a week or two. He and I are so blessed he works where he works with the boss he has. His boss would not let him take so little off. His boss MAKES him answer the phone when I call him at work. It's a Christian organization and his boss holds the family in very high respect. He has agreed though to let my dh take 2-3 full weeks off then work 2 days a week the next 3 weeks since my dh is the director he can't be totally absent and not know what's going on.


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01-03-2013 at 12:06 PM
PeanutR1
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sararn2004:
PeanutR1:

Teacher Clark:
Yes, FMLA is for fathers as well. Technically, they can't discriminate or hold it against him if he uses it. However, I know a gentleman at DHs work who tends to abuse his sick time, time off, etc. he plans on taking numerous weeks of FMLA and although they can't discriminate, they are very much aware that he is once again trying to get the max out of his time off. There are four other men in the office whose wives had or will be having babies and they are all taking the typical 1 to 2 weeks.

 

For the record, the law only says that the company has to give them the unpaid leave and continue their benefit coverage. There is nothing about holding it against them. If a promotion opportunity comes up in a year, and the boss says "Jim took 12 weeks when his kid was born, Bob took 2. Looks like Bob is more committed to the job and is a more needed part of the team - he gets it", they have every right to do that. So no, they can't fire you, but it can certainly affect your H's career.

My H has worked hard to make sure he is indispensable to his boss and team. Taking more than a  week or so off would give the boss a reason to say "hmmm, we're managing pretty well without Joe...". Not how you want to be seen in an economy like this. So he will be back at it within a week or so, depending on what day of the week this blessed event happens.  

 ETA: when we took 2.5 weeks for wedding/honeymoon 3 years ago, his boss said "we need you. Please don't do that to me again!". If your job can be easily done without y for 12 weeks , that's not good...

I told my dh about how many employers might feel this way and that's why many dads are only taking a week or two. He and I are so blessed he works where he works with the boss he has. His boss would not let him take so little off. His boss MAKES him answer the phone when I call him at work. It's a Christian organization and his boss holds the family in very high respect. He has agreed though to let my dh take 2-3 full weeks off then work 2 days a week the next 3 weeks since my dh is the director he can't be totally absent and not know what's going on.

 

You guys ARE blessed to have that opportunity!  Honestly, even if that much time was offered to my H, I don't think he'd take it :). I think he'd go stir crazy. He's the type that cant sit still, and would feel like he was missing something, or that his coverage wouldn't be doing things the "right" way. Yeah, we are two type A's having a kid. This should be fun!  

 
01-03-2013 at 1:33 PM
MrsReese28
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My husband is taking off the rest of the school year after LO is born. He's probably the only man I've ever heard of taking the time but it is covered under FMLA. Now the school isn't exactly happy about it but too bad. It's just as much a dad's right as it is a mom's right.
 
01-04-2013 at 1:44 AM
thehauffam...
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my husband is using his.  He's taking off for a week from the time baby is born for a week.  Then, the dr put on his FMLA paper work that he will need days here and there for a month.  We homeschool, so I will need someone here all day with me for a few weeks b/c I will need help with our 4 and 7 year old also.  He's only going to use them for days that someone can't be here to help me.  It's not like my kids go to school all day and then come home, I have them 24/7 so, I need the help. 

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