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01-02-2013 at 7:39 PM
mgm84
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How do you convince your husband...

To go with your name preference?  My husband is set on Maggie, and I am just not into it.  I want him to like one of my names, and I truly mean like one of them - not just give into me.  Any suggestions on how to get him to like it?

 

PS - I feel like such a selfish idiot posting this, but figured it would be interesting to get some ideas from all of you!  Thanks :)

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01-02-2013 at 7:41 PM
MelRC117
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If you both don't like each others choices, then you need to start from scratch. He needs to let go of Maggie and you need to drop your choices and you both need to start over. It's not about convincing, it's about compromising.
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01-02-2013 at 7:42 PM
Iloveshane...
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I always say if one or the other doesn't like a name it's of the top but if you are truly in love with a name, express that and maybe table it for later. I love Eden and we have compromised on a name but it is still tabled for later discussion! 
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01-02-2013 at 7:43 PM
LaineyPane...
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Say, "Maggie? Like the little baby on the Simpsons!?"

No, really.... You don't get him to come to your side...you compromise. If you don't like Maggie then you shouldn't name your dtr that. Just remember that he has the right to feel equally unattached to whatever name you pick out.
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01-02-2013 at 7:43 PM
GWUAlum
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If DH or I don't agree on a name we move to the next one. I may bring up a name more than once, but if he's not into it I just keep trying 'til we agree on something. 
 
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01-02-2013 at 7:43 PM
LaineyPane...
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MelRC117:
If you both don't like each others choices, then you need to start from scratch. He needs to let go of Maggie and you need to drop your choices and you both need to start over. It's not about convincing, it's about compromising.


Well said!!
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01-02-2013 at 7:51 PM
MurphMama
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MelRC117:
If you both don't like each others choices, then you need to start from scratch. He needs to let go of Maggie and you need to drop your choices and you both need to start over. It's not about convincing, it's about compromising.

Yep, I agree. My "top 10" and H's "top 10" list had none of the same names for our 1st child.  We threw out all of our ideas and broke out a baby name book. The name we chose was nowhere on either of our radars initially but now we both LOVE his name and it fits him better than any of the names I thought I loved before. 
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01-02-2013 at 7:56 PM
82Sonia
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Just write down the names you both like and keep revisiting them.  My husband didn't like my top pick when I was only 16 weeks but now, it's his first choice.   
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01-02-2013 at 8:02 PM
mgm84
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Thanks, ladies! I did not want to force or coerce him, which is impossible given how stubborn he is, but I got nervous that I would end up settling and not really loving her name.  Thanks again for the great suggestions!
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01-02-2013 at 8:06 PM
doremi29
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I'm the minority here (but I'll preface it with mentioning that DH doesn't really voice a ton of opinions on names and never comes up with ideas- he just vetoes all the names I come up with).  I basically come up with a list of names I like and have him pick one.  If there was a name that I really wanted, I would tell him why I liked the name so much- the type of child I envision with that name.  Basically, I sell him on it. 

For this baby, we have decided on Piper Julianne (Julianne is after my mom and grandmother and was a given).  I told him that I really liked Piper as a tribute to my dad who is a pilot (Piper Cub airplanes are his favorite) and I thought it sounded like a fun name that had a lot of personality- just like I envision our daughter. 

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01-02-2013 at 8:19 PM
Washington...
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Honestly, my DH likes almost nothing when he first hears it, he has to warm up to everything. I just keep bringing up and repeating my favorite names.
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01-02-2013 at 8:26 PM
mjune3881
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Haha!  Everyone talks about compromise, but I let DH have DD's first name and I got the middle name. We are flipping it this time. Obviously we both have veto power to if it is something we hate.
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01-02-2013 at 8:28 PM
LemonBlush
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You promise to buy him something :

We went into the hospital with 3 names. I didn't have a stronger preference over another. We went 22 hours with no name. He became set on one, me another. I told him we have to give him a name soon, what would it take. He said a new shotgun. So, I got my choice and DH gets a shotgun haha.

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01-02-2013 at 8:30 PM
kpaivel
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MelRC117:
If you both don't like each others choices, then you need to start from scratch. He needs to let go of Maggie and you need to drop your choices and you both need to start over. It's not about convincing, it's about compromising.


Couldn't have said it better myself!

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01-02-2013 at 8:42 PM
PinkSparty
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What worked for me was telling him why I loved the name so much and what the name meant to me. My fav boy name and fav girl name is a nod to my grandfather. If you can sell him on how special it is to you... he might come around. Otherwise, you might just have to start from scratch. :/

 
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01-02-2013 at 9:28 PM
Allycat11
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First, you have quite a while before you need to make a decision.  At 38 weeks, we still just have a short list and we aren't officially picking a name until our daughter is born.  

I don't think it's right for either parent to convince the other to use a name they don't like.  If you can't agree, go back to the drawing board.   Another option would be to look for a compromise with a nn.  For example, DH doesn't care for the name Amelia but it is at the top of our list because he loves the nn Mia.  DH has shot down dozens of beautiful names but if he really doesn't like them, I am not going to force them on him.  

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01-02-2013 at 9:46 PM
Elsa1984
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We fought until the end. He hated everything on my list. I hated all but one boy and one girl name on his list. We couldn't even agree enough to break it down to one list by the time we went into the hospital. We had almost 20 names walking in that day. My plan was to hold out and hopefully he would cave and at least agree to one of my names. Well after almost 29hrs of labor and an emergency csection, he caved. And as it turns out, at that moment....I realized I didn't care as much about my names as I thought I did. And I didn't want her name to be something picked because he caved. I ended up still picking her first and middle name, and I used his number one pick for her first name....luckily it was the only name I liked on his list anyway. And for her middle name, I picked a name he brought up that was special to him, when I was 14 weeks along. I had nixed it right away, and he never brought it up again. However, I realized how important the person was to him, even though I never got to meet that person. He cried when he heard it was a girl, and he cried even harder when I said what I wanted her name to be. She is 14mo now and I cannot picture her with any other name, not even the names I had on my list.

Put it on the back burner and bring it up later. If he still doesn't like it, get rid of it. But the same goes for him, if you don't like it....get rid of it.
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01-02-2013 at 9:56 PM
TristaD81
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MelRC117:
If you both don't like each others choices, then you need to start from scratch. He needs to let go of Maggie and you need to drop your choices and you both need to start over. It's not about convincing, it's about compromising.

This exactly. 
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01-03-2013 at 6:17 AM
bdawn8403
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Luckily my husband doesn't care what I choose but if he did I'd probably just go with what I wanted Stick out tongue

 Of course after 4 years of ttc, names aren't really a problem now, they've well been figured out.
 
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01-03-2013 at 7:22 AM
lily_721
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DH and I love our girl name.  We are not in agreement for our boy name.  I think our names are close and I have tried to compromise but DH is very set on "his" name. 

I am putting the whole thing on hold until we find out the sex in a few weeks.  If LO is a boy, we are going to have to start all over with boy names.

DH has tried bribery with me to agree to his name.  It didn't change my mind and just annoyed me.
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01-03-2013 at 12:17 PM
Elinetrouw...
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I agree it's about compromise, not convincing. You have to find a name you both love.

However, my husband is not consistent at all in his naming taste. If you mention a name one day he'll say he love it, mention it next month and he says he hates it. So I keep dropping my favorite boy name once in a while, hoping he will grow to it.

Of course, we already picked a girl name and I'm very scared he'll change his mind. Please keep loving our name! 
 
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01-03-2013 at 2:00 PM
JamieBart
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82Sonia:
Just write down the names you both like and keep revisiting them.  My husband didn't like my top pick when I was only 16 weeks but now, it's his first choice.   

This exactly.  My DH did not like my choice at all in the beginning but we left it on the list and kept searching.  One day he came to me and said I really like the name and that was the end of that.  Now that the little guy is almost here I'm the one having cold feet on the name and he's totally set!  Funny how the tables turn.  We won't change the name at this point but now I feel like he loves the name more than me. 

 
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01-03-2013 at 2:57 PM
Mollygirl1
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you dont. You need to both sit down and write a list of all your top names. Then hand the list to one another and circle any names you had in common, the highest ranking name that you both have in common should be the one you pick. If there arent any names in common, you need to honestly take a look and mark the ones that you like and come to an agreement over those names. Cross out the ones you hate and he crosses out the ones he hates, regardless if the other person LOVES it. And thats it. Its a mutual decision.
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