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01-02-2013 at 7:48 PM
hlmlvt
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hlmlvt is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 8:12 PMBronze

what to do

Have a little issues.  My sister who is 22 and got married 10 days after getting engaged last January is having a big wedding out of town the end of September.  I was suppose to be in the wedding but now she is not having a wedding party just her and her husband.  My thing is I am due the beginning of Sept EDD 8th.  I do not think I will be able to fly to her wedding   w delivery so close.

My thing is how do I tell my sister this?  We have had are ups and downs since her wedding.  She is 22 I am 38 she rushed to get married just bought a brand new house spur of the moment and now a big wedding on the beach.

 We are in good graces but not sure how to break it to her. Any thoughts? 
Me (39) DH (41).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13.......Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 weeks 4 days missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC:( Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42de74 My Ovulation Chart 
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01-02-2013 at 7:52 PM
hlmlvt
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sorry thought i was in a different section when i posted this feel free to respond if you want though lol
Me (39) DH (41).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13.......Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 weeks 4 days missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC:( Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42de74 My Ovulation Chart 
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01-02-2013 at 8:04 PM
BeckyTheEn...
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Wait, so she is married and planning her wedding? I don't really understand that. But, it sounds like she is planning whatever she wants, and you probably won't be wanting to go. I would not have considered flying to a wedding with a two week old, give or take. Does your sister know you a pregnant? If not, I would break the news to her ASAP, and hope that she understands that you won't take a vacation to her wedding with a newborn.
 
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01-02-2013 at 9:03 PM
Allycat11
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There is no way  I would travel with a newborn and would just say that to her.  Honestly, she would have to be crazy to not understand. 

Personally, I wouldn't be dying to go to a wedding for a married couple anyway because you can only marry the same person 1 time without a divorce in between.   

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11/2010- Diagnosed with PCOS
BFP #1 10/10/2011 EDD 6/19/2012; Natural M/C 10/31/2011 @ 8wks
BFP #2 5/10/2012 EDD 1/14/2013: Baby Girl born 1/12/2013 
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01-02-2013 at 9:06 PM
1026pumpki...
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It sounds like you just found out you're pregnantcongrats! I'd wait until closer to the end of your first trimester, or whenever you're planning to tell the rest of your family, and just let her know that you don't think it's going to be possible for you to travel then, but you wish her all the best.

It's possible you'll have the baby early or late, and you won't know if either of you can do a plane trip until you get to that point. I'd hope your sister would understand and not take it personally.
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01-02-2013 at 9:08 PM
Shel79
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Just tell her.  My SIL was supposed to be in my wedding party, and our wedding was about an hour out of town.  She ended up getting pregnant and our wedding was 2 weeks before her due date, and she didn't feel comfortable even being an hour from the hospital at that point.  We missed her, but there are just too many unknowns with pregnancy and newborns!  Your sister will just have to understand.  
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01-02-2013 at 9:44 PM
lisa5201
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I would def not plan a trip like this so close to my due date. You could deliver early and have complications with that, or late and have a really new baby. If you have a C-section you might not be physically able to travel, even with my totally natural normal delivery, It was at least a month before I was physically/mentally "normal"

Tell your sister asap that you can't make it. Maybe she'll change the date. If not, You'll have to skip it, and that doesn't sound like a tragedy to me.  
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01-02-2013 at 9:53 PM
lisa5201
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How to tell her

"Hey sis! I am super excited about your wedding plans and was really looking forward to celebrating with you in Sept. but I have great news of my own.... I'm pregnant! Yeah! Due date is so close to the date of your party that It's very unlikely we'll be able to make it. Sucks that it worked out like that, but Sept will be an exciting month for both of us! Wanted to let you know ASAP, let me know if there's anything long distance I can do to help. Love ya Auntie"
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01-02-2013 at 11:44 PM
rhubarb123
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So she's getting remarried to the same man?  Hmmm.  I would normally want to be there for my sister but sometimes you just can't...and this is one of those times.  Like others have said...it's possibel you could deliver late or end up with a c-secion.  Traveling with a newborn is actually quite easy (we did the MI to FL when our little one was 3 weeks and it was fine) but who knows if there will be complications, (heaven forbid), etc. 

My sister was unable to be at my wedding (and two of her kids were in it!).  She had plans to travel to Scotland months and months in advance and we planned our wedding in 3 months and didn't have a lot of choices as far as dates.  I would have loved to have had her there but it just wasn't possible.
 
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01-03-2013 at 5:12 AM
spalko
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I agree with PP, just tell her that unfortunately you won't be able to make but you wish here all the best.

Also, this might just be one of my pet peeves, but a 'wedding' after you've already been married is a vow renewal. I find it tacky that she calls it a wedding and maybe slightly gift grabby as well, sorry.

My favorite picture because I knew I was in love that night. photo h_zps4345372b.jpg 
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01-03-2013 at 5:21 AM
jahjbmr
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Tell her you won't be Able to attend the wedding to a man she will already be married to for a year and a half because you will be popping out a baby.
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01-03-2013 at 9:28 AM
526SadieSa...
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She got married 10 days after she got engaged and she's planning a wedding?  Huh?

Sounds like she's trying to get presents from people after eloping...

She's already married, what's to plan?
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01-03-2013 at 9:38 AM
nlscroggin...
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526SadieSadie:

She got married 10 days after she got engaged and she's planning a wedding?  Huh?

Sounds like she's trying to get presents from people after eloping...

She's already married, what's to plan?

my thoughts exactly. this situation is terribly confusing. but if you can't make it to the (2nd?) wedding because of pregnancy, she will just have to understand. so many things can happen then- you could deliver early, be on bed rest, etc... 

me: 26 - DH: 29
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01-03-2013 at 10:50 AM
silverfana...
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1026pumpkin:
It sounds like you just found out you're pregnantcongrats! I'd wait until closer to the end of your first trimester, or whenever you're planning to tell the rest of your family, and just let her know that you don't think it's going to be possible for you to travel then, but you wish her all the best. It's possible you'll have the baby early or late, and you won't know if either of you can do a plane trip until you get to that point. I'd hope your sister would understand and not take it personally.

All of this! Don't plan to travel but wait a few weeks to tell her when you're ready to officially announce your pregnancy. With it being a destination wedding at the beach, I'm not sure what exactly she'd need help with but you could always offer to help her with things to show you care.

 
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01-03-2013 at 10:50 AM
silverfana...
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1026pumpkin:
It sounds like you just found out you're pregnantcongrats! I'd wait until closer to the end of your first trimester, or whenever you're planning to tell the rest of your family, and just let her know that you don't think it's going to be possible for you to travel then, but you wish her all the best. It's possible you'll have the baby early or late, and you won't know if either of you can do a plane trip until you get to that point. I'd hope your sister would understand and not take it personally.

All of this! Don't plan to travel but wait a few weeks to tell her when you're ready to officially announce your pregnancy. With it being a destination wedding at the beach, I'm not sure what exactly she'd need help with but you could always offer to help her with things to show you care.

 
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01-03-2013 at 2:31 PM
theatrelil...
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theatrelily is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 5:24 PMNewbie

I was supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding at the end of July, but my EDD is August 7th.

I flat out told her over Skype that I wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding. She was extremely disappointed for about 10 seconds until I told her the reason why.

Now, her husband-to-be is planning the telecommute for us guests who won't be able to make it...they are setting up a laptop with Google place or Skype on it for us out-of-towners to attend. My sister is thrilled and totally understanding. 

Just let her know, and maybe the excitement of impending auntdom will outweigh any disappointment. 
 
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