If someone from DH's side offers, I think it's fine to have a shower since its his first and his family might want to celebrate.  I wouldn't invite anyone other than your mom/sisters/grandmas from your side though, super close immediate family only.  If no one from his side offers, you don't get to have one.

It's no one's fault that you didn't save anything from your second child, that's not an argument for having a third shower.

i agree that if someone from DH's side offers, then by all means go for it. otherwise, it's not a great idea. 

Ditto what everyone else said.

526SadieSadie:

If someone from DH's side offers, I think it's fine to have a shower since its his first and his family might want to celebrate.  I wouldn't invite anyone other than your mom/sisters/grandmas from your side though, super close immediate family only.  If no one from his side offers, you don't get to have one.

It's no one's fault that you didn't save anything from your second child, that's not an argument for having a third shower.

I agree w/ all of this.

526SadieSadie:

If someone from DH's side offers, I think it's fine to have a shower since its his first and his family might want to celebrate.  I wouldn't invite anyone other than your mom/sisters/grandmas from your side though, super close immediate family only.  If no one from his side offers, you don't get to have one.

It's no one's fault that you didn't save anything from your second child, that's not an argument for having a third shower.

 

We are perfectly capable of getting everything we need for our baby, that is not the point of having a shower. The point is they want us to have a shower, his family and mine and my close friends. I am from the South where this is normal also. They want to get things for the baby, some of them already have.

People can buy things for the baby, they dont' have to be given at a shower.

If someone offers, you can accept a shower but keep it small.  Some people have already bought you gifts 2 times, and now are invited to a 3rd gift giving event.  Don't plan your own and don't get bummed if no one offers.

Melanieian':

We are perfectly capable of getting everything we need for our baby, that is not the point of having a shower. The point is they want us to have a shower, his family and mine and my close friends. I am from the South where this is normal also. They want to get things for the baby, some of them already have.

And none of this was mentioned in your OP.  Seriously- go read it.  It reads as if you want a shower because  you don't have anything, and you don't mention that people have offered to throw you a shower.

Melanieian:

 

We are perfectly capable of getting everything we need for our baby, that is not the point of having a shower. The point is they want us to have a shower, his family and mine and my close friends. I am from the South where this is normal also. They want to get things for the baby, some of them already have.

Then why did you make that the central point of your OP? YOU said that you didn't save anything and were considering another shower. How else were we supposed to read your words?

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

Melanieian:

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

 Because it is not right to continually ask your friends and family to buy you gifts for each child you have if they have been invited to consecutive showers for you. Since it is your husband's first child, it would be ok to have a small shower/sprinkle for just HIS side only.

Melanieian:

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

 

Here's the Cliff's Notes version of your OP:

This is my 3rd child, his 1st, but we didn't save ANYTHING, so is it okay to have another?

Do you see how that logically reads as "We want people to buy us stuff"?

The point PPs made about who is throwing it is because it's his first. Many on this board believe that the purpose of a shower is to shower a NEW mother with gifts. Your family has already showered you with gifts...twice...hence their responses about it being fine for his family to throw you a shower, but not yours, which has already done this. However, many of us also make exceptions for family traditions. If everybody in your family always has showers for subsequent children, fine, go ahead and follow tradition. However, I have to ask, if this is your tradition and everybody does it, then why did you need to ask about it here?

JenniD2:

Melanieian:

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

Because it is not right to continually ask your friends and family to buy you gifts for each child you have if they have been invited to consecutive showers for you. Since it is your husband's first child, it would be ok to have a small shower/sprinkle for just HIS side only.

To add - your post also reads as if you might be thinking of throwing your OWN shower, which truly is inappropriate. That's also why we're asking.

I see nothing wrong with people wanting to buy your baby something or perhaps a meet the baby party. I do however think a 3rd shower would be a little off the mark of the point of a baby shower - which I feel the point is to welcome the mom to motherhood. If you want to get around this and have a shower, I think it'd be neat to look into something trendy like a couples shower or a dadchelor party. The couples shower would include your husband in the festivities...maybe do something manly like a BBQ. I'm not entirely sure what a dadchelor party is but I've seen it thrown around on here. Good luck!

Melanieian:

The point is they want us to have a shower, his family and mine and my close friends. I am from the South where this is normal also.

What part of the South are you in?  I'm in Georgia and have never heard of anyone in real life having a shower for a second-time Mom, let alone a third-timer. 

Melanieian:

I am from the South where this is normal also.

Yuck, and NO.

Y'all, please do not judge me by this "from the South" business. Ug.

OP, if this is "normal" where you are, why are you even asking us? I don't post to ask about things when I am certain they are customary. If third showers are The Done Thing for your set, you must be pot-stirring with this post. Either that or you are going on the offensive against our reasonable, sound advice. And so I wonder again, why did you bother to ask if you already know the answer?

ggatlanta:

Melanieian:

I am from the South where this is normal also.

Yuck, and NO.

Y'all, please do not judge me by this "from the South" business. Ug.

OP, if this is "normal" where you are, why are you even asking us? I don't post to ask about things when I am certain they are customary. If third showers are The Done Thing for your set, you must be pot-stirring with this post. Either that or you are going on the offensive against our reasonable, sound advice. And so I wonder again, why did you bother to ask if you already know the answer?

Same here.  I've been to ONE shower for a second baby.  She's my (3rd) cousin, she got married to the best man from her first wedding and she wore the huge white dress with train when she was 7 months knocked up to the new guy.  So she's not exactly the beacon of classiness.

What's with this "south" crap anyway?  I'd love to know where she's from, because apparently it isn't Atlanta or Eastern Tennessee.

OP, if someone offers to throw you (because they want you to have one so badly) then do what you want.  Surely, being from the south (::eyeroll::), you wouldn't have such deplorable manners as to throw your own shower.  It's pretty rude.  But you knew that...you're just looking for justification.

OP, if you want to follow traditional etiquette, please do not have a baby shower.  Traditional etiquette states that a baby shower is to welcome a woman into motherhood; you are already a mother.  Showers are not a party for the baby-- as usually they occur before the baby's birth.  If you would like to celebrate the birth of your husband's first baby, host a "welcome baby" party after your LO is born. 

That being said-- you know what is acceptable in your circle.  IF second (and third) showers are commonly part of your regional etiquette, and someone offers to host, go for it.

edited to fix spelling

OP, you are 8 weeks pregnant accoridng to your ticker.  Congrats!  Now is not the time to think of showers.  Now is the time to take it one day at a time.  When you worry about physical stuff for baby remind yourself that you have a lot of time to figure it out.

Even with people offering, you should hold off setting the date for the shower until you're a little further along.  Say to your MIL, "Thank you so much for the offer.  It's a little soon for me to track down my schedule.  How about we talk about this on :::date:::?".

RoxyLynn:

Melanieian:

The point is they want us to have a shower, his family and mine and my close friends. I am from the South where this is normal also.

What part of the South are you in?  I'm in Georgia and have never heard of anyone in real life having a shower for a second-time Mom, let alone a third-timer. 

I am in Louisiana and in real life I have seen several 2nd+ mom's have showers

silverfanatic:

I see nothing wrong with people wanting to buy your baby something or perhaps a meet the baby party. I do however think a 3rd shower would be a little off the mark of the point of a baby shower - which I feel the point is to welcome the mom to motherhood. If you want to get around this and have a shower, I think it'd be neat to look into something trendy like a couples shower or a dadchelor party. The couples shower would include your husband in the festivities...maybe do something manly like a BBQ. I'm not entirely sure what a dadchelor party is but I've seen it thrown around on here. Good luck!

 

Like I said before it is not about the gifts it is about getting together and celebrating this precious life we are having, which seems to not be the concern on this board, but anyway I think your idea sounds really cute. A BBQ and make a manly gathering.

EastCoastBride:

JenniD2:

Melanieian:

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

Because it is not right to continually ask your friends and family to buy you gifts for each child you have if they have been invited to consecutive showers for you. Since it is your husband's first child, it would be ok to have a small shower/sprinkle for just HIS side only.

To add - your post also reads as if you might be thinking of throwing your OWN shower, which truly is inappropriate. That's also why we're asking.

 

Seriously?? You get all that from a few sentences? Why in the world would I throw my own shower? All I was trying to find out, plan and simple, a general idea of how others felt about it. Not get attacked

I want a party that no one has yet offered to throw my for my 3rd baby although it's still the size of a poppyseed! But it's for the baby that won't even be there! No I don't want gifts because I can provide everything on my own!

Have a sip and see or a bbq if the aforementioned is not what you were trying to say.

JenniD2:

Melanieian:

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

 Because it is not right to continually ask your friends and family to buy you gifts for each child you have if they have been invited to consecutive showers for you. Since it is your husband's first child, it would be ok to have a small shower/sprinkle for just HIS side only.

 

You do realize how much that would infuriate my family and friends to be left out of something that had to do with my life and my child. I come from and extremely close family and that would not go over well with them.

Melanieian:

silverfanatic:

I see nothing wrong with people wanting to buy your baby something or perhaps a meet the baby party. I do however think a 3rd shower would be a little off the mark of the point of a baby shower - which I feel the point is to welcome the mom to motherhood. If you want to get around this and have a shower, I think it'd be neat to look into something trendy like a couples shower or a dadchelor party. The couples shower would include your husband in the festivities...maybe do something manly like a BBQ. I'm not entirely sure what a dadchelor party is but I've seen it thrown around on here. Good luck!

Like I said before it is not about the gifts it is about getting together and celebrating this precious life we are having, which seems to not be the concern on this board, but anyway I think your idea sounds really cute. A BBQ and make a manly gathering.

Yes because this board HATES celebrating babies.

Actually OP, the shower doesn't celebrate the baby, it celebrates the mom.

If you want to do that then have a meet the baby party or some other gathering and don't call it a shower.

Melanieian:

JenniD2:

Melanieian:

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

 Because it is not right to continually ask your friends and family to buy you gifts for each child you have if they have been invited to consecutive showers for you. Since it is your husband's first child, it would be ok to have a small shower/sprinkle for just HIS side only.

You do realize how much that would infuriate my family and friends to be left out of something that had to do with my life and my child. I come from and extremely close family and that would not go over well with them.

Why are you even on here asking then? All we are saying is you can accept IF one is offered keep it small and all I hear in response is "BUT I got rid of all my baby stuff, BUT its my husband's first, BUT its about celebrating the baby, BUT my children are all over 5 years old, BUT my friends and family are making me".  You are justifying to yourself why you should have a THIRD shower.  I just don't understand why even ask if whatever we say doesn't matter to you.

MelRC117:

Melanieian:

JenniD2:

Melanieian:

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

 Because it is not right to continually ask your friends and family to buy you gifts for each child you have if they have been invited to consecutive showers for you. Since it is your husband's first child, it would be ok to have a small shower/sprinkle for just HIS side only.

You do realize how much that would infuriate my family and friends to be left out of something that had to do with my life and my child. I come from and extremely close family and that would not go over well with them.

Why are you even on here asking then? All we are saying is you can accept IF one is offered keep it small and all I hear in response is "BUT I got rid of all my baby stuff, BUT its my husband's first, BUT its about celebrating the baby, BUT my children are all over 5 years old, BUT my friends and family are making me".  You are justifying to yourself why you should have a THIRD shower.  I just don't understand why even ask if whatever we say doesn't matter to you.

This!

Melanieian:

Seriously?? You get all that from a few sentences? Why in the world would I throw my own shower? All I was trying to find out, plan and simple, a general idea of how others felt about it. Not get attacked

Go read some of the posts on this board. We get a lot of women who ask about "can I throw my own shower".  So.... based on the wording in your OP, it could be read that you were thinking about throwing your own.  But that's why people asked about the "who". 

And to your other post- you say you just want to celebrate the baby, it's not about the gifts.  SOOOOO - why did you tell us that you got rid of everything and have nothing if it's "not about the gifts"?

I'm not attacking YOU - I'm attacking these ideas.  We see this stuff here all the time.  "It's not about the gifts!!!!!".  O.k., if it's not about the gifts, then don't have a shower.  Because that is waht a shower is absolutely about - "showering" you w/ gifts.

As suggested, throw a "meet the baby" party AFTER the baby is born if it's really about the baby!  What's the point of a party about "the baby" if the baby isn't actually here?

MelRC117:

Melanieian:

JenniD2:

Melanieian:

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

 Because it is not right to continually ask your friends and family to buy you gifts for each child you have if they have been invited to consecutive showers for you. Since it is your husband's first child, it would be ok to have a small shower/sprinkle for just HIS side only.

You do realize how much that would infuriate my family and friends to be left out of something that had to do with my life and my child. I come from and extremely close family and that would not go over well with them.

Why are you even on here asking then? All we are saying is you can accept IF one is offered keep it small and all I hear in response is "BUT I got rid of all my baby stuff, BUT its my husband's first, BUT its about celebrating the baby, BUT my children are all over 5 years old, BUT my friends and family are making me".  You are justifying to yourself why you should have a THIRD shower.  I just don't understand why even ask if whatever we say doesn't matter to you.

 

I kinda thought the baby shower board was the place to ask, clearly I was wrong. I have not made excuses my, OP stated how old my children were that I no longer had baby things, that's it. Like I said I was just asking for other opinions, what is so wrong with that? I did not come here to have an internet fight, good Lord I do have other things to worry about then this, as we all do. I apologize if my inital post didn't include everything it should. I'm kinda new to this board so I am sorry if my posting is improper. I am NOT planing a shower for myself I would NEVER do that! But I also can't see turning down one from his family that also would include my family because this is their first grand baby. We are 8 weeks pregnant and we have been married 3 months, so I am not comfortable telling my MIL no at this point. No dates have been discussed, she just threw it out there. As far as the South goes, yes that is the norm where I live, that doesn't mean it is the norm where you live. I just wanted unbiased opinions, so again I apologize for asking. I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day. I think I'll go share my happy news from dr appt today with 1st Tri board. Thanks for listening!

Melanieian:

MelRC117:

Melanieian:

JenniD2:

Melanieian:

Actually the central part of my OP was about this being his first child and my 3rd child and if it is appropriate to have another shower. What does who is throwing have to do with if it is appropriate or not?

 Because it is not right to continually ask your friends and family to buy you gifts for each child you have if they have been invited to consecutive showers for you. Since it is your husband's first child, it would be ok to have a small shower/sprinkle for just HIS side only.

You do realize how much that would infuriate my family and friends to be left out of something that had to do with my life and my child. I come from and extremely close family and that would not go over well with them.

Why are you even on here asking then? All we are saying is you can accept IF one is offered keep it small and all I hear in response is "BUT I got rid of all my baby stuff, BUT its my husband's first, BUT its about celebrating the baby, BUT my children are all over 5 years old, BUT my friends and family are making me".  You are justifying to yourself why you should have a THIRD shower.  I just don't understand why even ask if whatever we say doesn't matter to you.

 

I kinda thought the baby shower board was the place to ask, clearly I was wrong. I have not made excuses my, OP stated how old my children were that I no longer had baby things, that's it. Like I said I was just asking for other opinions, what is so wrong with that? I did not come here to have an internet fight, good Lord I do have other things to worry about then this, as we all do. I apologize if my inital post didn't include everything it should. I'm kinda new to this board so I am sorry if my posting is improper. I am NOT planing a shower for myself I would NEVER do that! But I also can't see turning down one from his family that also would include my family because this is their first grand baby. We are 8 weeks pregnant and we have been married 3 months, so I am not comfortable telling my MIL no at this point. No dates have been discussed, she just threw it out there. As far as the South goes, yes that is the norm where I live, that doesn't mean it is the norm where you live. I just wanted unbiased opinions, so again I apologize for asking. I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day. I think I'll go share my happy news from dr appt today with 1st Tri board. Thanks for listening!

You asked for opinions. You got them.just because you don't like them or they weren't what you wanted to hear doesn't mean that anyone was attacking you. Do what you want. However. When you ask a question, especially to strangers on the internet, PLEASE remember to put your bgp on first and accept that not everyone will agree with you or shoot glitter up your butt when responding.

For the record, i think a shower in your situation would be ridiculous. Have a meet the baby party after kiddo arrives instead.