community

all boards


birth clubs



my blog

Sort:
01-03-2013 at 9:40 AM
pillowass
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-23-2007
PNW
1,884 Points
pillowass is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 5:54 PMBronze

If you don't or can't breastfeed

I just wanted to pass along a book/website recommendation that has helped me so much. I was not able to breastfeed my son 4 years ago due to low supply and it was really traumatic since I was totally committed to bf'ing and I live in a community that is not bottle-friendly. This book contains a really compelling discussion of the many reasons women can't breastfeed or choose not to - it has really opened my eyes and made me feel confident in my decision not to even try this time around. It's called Bottled Up by Suzanne Barston. Her website is called  the Fearless Formula Feeder (fearlessformulafeeder.com). 

http://www.amazon.com/Bottled-Up-Babies-Motherhood-Shouldnt/dp/0520270231

(sorry I can't make it clicky from my Mac) 

It's is not anti-bf'ing at all - just good support for us bottle-feeders. I wish it had been around when I went through this the first time! 


TTC #2 since July 2010
Me 36, DH 37
FSH = 11 (20 on day 10 of CCCT)/ AMH = .98 / AFC=12ish
5 IUI's with oral meds = all BFN
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS!
 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-03-2013 at 10:32 AM
brenaxtrut...
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-07-2011
3,858 Points
brenaxtruthx is not online. Last active: 03-25-2013, 3:15 PMNewbie
I"ll have to look into this...I have low supply and most people are supportive and helpful except my wic lady...she is so anti-bottle feeding that she makes me feel like a horrible person since I want formula for my son.  I try to pump as much as I can but I get maybe a couple ounces a day and he is a week / half old and eats 3 oz after every long nap.... she seriously once told me there is no such thing as low supply or bad nipples just lazy women who don't try hard enough...needless to say I bawled my eyes out when I left.  
 
01-03-2013 at 10:54 AM
amy052006
Top 500 Contributor
Joined on 03-01-2005
Philadelphia
43,873 Points
amy052006 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 1:51 PMGold

brenaxtruthx:
I"ll have to look into this...I have low supply and most people are supportive and helpful except my wic lady...she is so anti-bottle feeding that she makes me feel like a horrible person since I want formula for my son.  I try to pump as much as I can but I get maybe a couple ounces a day and he is a week / half old and eats 3 oz after every long nap.... she seriously once told me there is no such thing as low supply or bad nipples just lazy women who don't try hard enough...needless to say I bawled my eyes out when I left.  

Well, most doctors and lactation specialist will tell you that TRUE low supply is actually quite rare.  It just is.

A pump doesn't build your supply like actual nursing, and what you get from the pump is no where indicative as to what you get when directly nursing. And that does take a good six weeks to establish.

I think that is my biggest issue with her blog -- she is very quick to say "You have low supply, it's ok" when in reality that's not true.  Normal is your kid on your boob every 2-3 hours for 45 minutes at a time in the beginning.  That is how you build supply. 

FF, BF, whatever.  I know what is best for our family, and that is all that matters.  But there is a shitton of bad info about supply and how you build it out there, and it keeps getting recirculating.  And it does annoy me to see women who want to BF being fed this false info. 


Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12 
01-03-2013 at 10:57 AM
kbruington
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-01-2011
45,580 Points
kbruington is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 2:46 PMSilver
Curious what you mean by a non-bottle friendly community?! Where the heck do you live?

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-03-2013 at 11:46 AM
pillowass
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-23-2007
PNW
1,884 Points
pillowass is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 5:54 PMBronze
amy052006:

Well, most doctors and lactation specialist will tell you that TRUE low supply is actually quite rare.  It just is.

Actually, part of the problem is that the issue of low supply has not been researched. I would challenge you or the doctors/lactation specialists you speak of to point to research (peer-reviewed, published) demonstrating this (and defining "TRUE low supply"while you are at it.)  Moreover, considering that 4 million babies are born in this country every year, even if we're only talking about 2-5% of moms (the number that is typically thrown around), that's still hundreds of thousands of women who need support and information about formula!

It was not my intention to start a bf/ff debate - believe me, I am totally supportive of anyone who wants to and can breastfeed (and public health policies supporting you too!) But it's really hurtful to encounter the assumption that a really painful experience is probably made up or misdiagnosed. 

 


TTC #2 since July 2010
Me 36, DH 37
FSH = 11 (20 on day 10 of CCCT)/ AMH = .98 / AFC=12ish
5 IUI's with oral meds = all BFN
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS!
 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-03-2013 at 11:55 AM
pillowass
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-23-2007
PNW
1,884 Points
pillowass is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 5:54 PMBronze

kbruington:
Curious what you mean by a non-bottle friendly community?! Where the heck do you live?

I live in the pacific northwest in an upper middle class community - we're all about natural birth, breastfeeding, and attachment parenting over here! I have a dear friend who lives in the south where she encounters a lot of judgement for bf'ing - so I realize that my experience is not universal. But it goes to show you that people love to judge new moms and I just wish it wasn't that way.


TTC #2 since July 2010
Me 36, DH 37
FSH = 11 (20 on day 10 of CCCT)/ AMH = .98 / AFC=12ish
5 IUI's with oral meds = all BFN
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS!
 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-03-2013 at 12:21 PM
Kemare20
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-15-2012
27,609 Points
Kemare20 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 9:08 PMBronze
I was unable to successfully BF due to the fact that I had a breast reduction several years ago. I would have LOVED to breast feed and kept trying and trying for 4 weeks before I decided it just wasn't going to get better. I was only producing about 1 oz from both breasts.

Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic 
01-03-2013 at 12:23 PM
kbruington
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-01-2011
45,580 Points
kbruington is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 2:46 PMSilver
pillowass:

kbruington:
Curious what you mean by a non-bottle friendly community?! Where the heck do you live?

I live in the pacific northwest in an upper middle class community - we're all about natural birth, breastfeeding, and attachment parenting over here! I have a dear friend who lives in the south where she encounters a lot of judgement for bf'ing - so I realize that my experience is not universal. But it goes to show you that people love to judge new moms and I just wish it wasn't that way.

PNW?! I live in Washington! I understand what you mean though. People are very judgmental.

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-03-2013 at 12:28 PM
Mrs&Dr2b
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-06-2006
Chicago
2,372 Points
Mrs&Dr2b is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:22 AMBronze
Regardless of whether or not low supply is rare, I agree that there are women who cant or won't breast feed and they should not be made to feel bad for their decision. Just as women who really want to breast feed need support women who are unable to breast feed for whatever reason need support as well. And where you live totally plays a role in that. Where I am it is fairly breastfeeding friendly but where all of my family lives they act like I am doing something scandalous by breastfeeding my son. Glad there are resources for both breastfeeders and formula feeders

 
01-03-2013 at 12:39 PM
LalaMama81
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-16-2009
Philly Burbs
97,479 Points
LalaMama81 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 9:40 PMGold

As someone w/ a condition that leads to chronic low supply who is still breastfeeding a 16 month old, it can be done. The issue is education. There is not enough education done for pediatricians, midwives, OBs, doctors, etc. Many LCs are great, but many still don't know about real low supply. Since man of the experts have the knowledge needed, it is very difficult for a struggling, but committed, breastfeeding mother to figure things out. 

Fortunately, I had a great LC who recommended to a Pedi/LC combo who was a godsend and diagnosed me w/ Insufficient Glandular Tissue. Then I was able to come up with a plan for success, for my babies and me. I did have to use some formula to supplement and it was necessary for my kids to gain.

I think the second part of the issue is that people are so worried about offending each other no one gives the encouragement or information struggling BFing moms need. We, as a society, are too quick to say, "It's okay to quit. Happy mom means a happy baby." Often, that is crap. Often, women don't really have a low supply due to a medical reason, they aren't nursing enough, drinking/eating enough, getting enough rest and help, bad support and education, trying to pump instead of nursing, pediatricians jump to formula too quickly. 

 



Ellie 9.08, Violet 8.11 
01-03-2013 at 2:34 PM
kiraliz2
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-13-2012
82,282 Points
kiraliz2 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 11:01 AMSilver

Thank you for this, OP. I was unsuccessful BFing for various reasons, and it was devastating. When I finally decided to stop trying, I cried for a week straight and ended up with PPD. I am still mourning and dealing with my guilt over not BFing, so thanks again (its getting better!). I think this post is not about BF vs FF, but about support. I know I felt totally and utterly alone and I think this would have helped. 

 

Edited for grammar. 


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
01-03-2013 at 3:01 PM
CottonGirl
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-13-2010
3,129 Points
CottonGirl is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 1:26 PMNewbie
I hate that there is so much pressure concerning BFing.  Must be a new thing because I know a lot of older parents that say they never breastfed.  And they never say they felt guilty or other people made them feel bad about it.  What's wrong with us now as a society?  Shouldn't we all just be happy our babies have enough food available to them whether breastfed or formula fed?  There are so many starving children out there!
 
01-03-2013 at 4:31 PM
AmyG*
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-12-2010
24,670 Points
AmyG* is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:37 PMGold

CottonGirl:
I hate that there is so much pressure concerning BFing.  Must be a new thing because I know a lot of older parents that say they never breastfed.  And they never say they felt guilty or other people made them feel bad about it.  What's wrong with us now as a society?  Shouldn't we all just be happy our babies have enough food available to them whether breastfed or formula fed?  There are so many starving children out there!

Well the older parents are part of the problem.  they bought into the idea of better living thru chemistry, which is what formula is, a chemical combination of nutrients to try to make a subsitute for human breastmilk.  As a totally formula fed society, there are no older women/doctors/experts to really help, advise, and guide women one on one thru breastfeeding. 

Realize that part of this also stems from men and "medical science" deciding what was best for women and children.  It wasn't all that many years since women were commonly knocked out for childbirth, or once we were allowed to be awake, we were given heavy duty strong pain meds and allowed only to labor on our backs never getting out of bed, shaved bare in all spots down yonder, give enimas(sp) and episiotomies to make labor more convenient for everyoe except for mom.  baby was commonly given sugar water or formula right off the bat, and if you didn't have white dripping milk that looked like cows milk within 24 hours of birth you were told you couldn't make enough milk, and that baby had to have formula and you couldn't even try to breastfeed.   

 

Yet conversely we have veterinarians that understand that baby cows HAVE to have colostrum or they don't live long, where colostrum is collected ad stored for other species, but is weird and not ok if we were to even consider that for humans?


AmyG 
01-03-2013 at 4:47 PM
pillowass
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-23-2007
PNW
1,884 Points
pillowass is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 5:54 PMBronze
LalaMama81:

As someone w/ a condition that leads to chronic low supply who is still breastfeeding a 16 month old, it can be done. The issue is education. There is not enough education done for pediatricians, midwives, OBs, doctors, etc. Many LCs are great, but many still don't know about real low supply. Since man of the experts have the knowledge needed, it is very difficult for a struggling, but committed, breastfeeding mother to figure things out. 

Fortunately, I had a great LC who recommended to a Pedi/LC combo who was a godsend and diagnosed me w/ Insufficient Glandular Tissue. Then I was able to come up with a plan for success, for my babies and me. I did have to use some formula to supplement and it was necessary for my kids to gain.

I think the second part of the issue is that people are so worried about offending each other no one gives the encouragement or information struggling BFing moms need. We, as a society, are too quick to say, "It's okay to quit. Happy mom means a happy baby." Often, that is crap. Often, women don't really have a low supply due to a medical reason, they aren't nursing enough, drinking/eating enough, getting enough rest and help, bad support and education, trying to pump instead of nursing, pediatricians jump to formula too quickly. 

 

You make a great point about supposed "experts" not being educated about low supply. I saw multiple lactation consultants, midwives, doctors - all of whom threw up their hands and admitted they had no idea why I couldn't produce milk. My son was down to his birthweight at 4 weeks, borderline failure to thrive, yet I never had a hormone panel run nor was I evaluated for insufficient glandular tissue. I'm really glad you found a way to make it work and you should be proud of how hard you fought!

That said, I take issue with you saying that "happy mom, happy baby" line is crap - I think that in your shoes many women (myself included) would have given up and I think that would have been a totally reasonable decision.

 


TTC #2 since July 2010
Me 36, DH 37
FSH = 11 (20 on day 10 of CCCT)/ AMH = .98 / AFC=12ish
5 IUI's with oral meds = all BFN
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS!
 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-03-2013 at 7:03 PM
Stillharbo...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-29-2009
8,052 Points
Stillharbor is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 3:34 PMBronze
I couldn't BF LO.  I was devastated b/s I thought I was doing something wrong.  I did have a low supply at first b/s LO was in the NICU.  After getting home, I was EBF until we got to a weekend where LO was fussy ALL THE TIME and suddenly, she didn't have any wet diapers for 24 hours.  We immediately started bottle feeding. We called the doctor and lactation consultant and they agreed we did the right thing.  They too were alarmed.  Since then I pump and bottle feed.  Sometimes there are really good reasons not to BF.  Don't let others get you down. 
 
01-04-2013 at 12:58 PM
Tennis Chi...
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-13-2008
midwest
7,192 Points
Tennis Chick is not online. Last active: 05-05-2013, 9:00 PMSilver
OP thank you for this! My supply never came in, not a drop and after meeting with a couple LC I decided to give up. Switching to being a FF saved my sanity. Did I give up too quick? Maybe, but my baby is healthy and happy regardless. There is way too much stigma about women who FF, and I tend to notice more and more women who BF get defensive about us FF. Not always the case, just an observation. I don't care that you are BF, don't judge me or try to make me feel guilty for FF. Plus my boobs and nipples still look great ;)

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board