This is your only post, so I'm not sure if you're trolling or not.

But, I will say that I feel that gender disappointment is normal. If once your baby is here and you still feel detached from him/her,  (since you didn't say what you're having), then seek help. But you may very well warm up to the idea of having a son/daughter in the meantime. It took me awhile to accept that I was having a boy because I really wanted a daughter.

With only 1 post and being a rather taboo topic I assume MUD. That being said, I personally think it's "normal" to have a preference going into a pregnancy.  I was kind of hoping for a girl this time around to have one of each and was suprised at my ultrasound. I had a moment of sadness of not having a daughter as this is my last but that washed away rather quickly.  I think it's ok to feel somewhat disapointed as long as you get over and realize you are still blessed with a son.  Feeling devastated seems a bit extreme.

If this isn't MUD, and you are truly devastated at having a child of a different sex than you wanted, then you need to get your head checked.

Devastated is certainly a strong word. It is normal, however, to feel shock and disappointment if the sex of the baby is different from what you preferred and/or expected. Let yourself feel what you feel, then move past it and focus on how awesome it'll be to have a boy/girl/whatever you're having. Go buy some cute outfits and think about all the fun things you can do with him/her.

You'll get over it, and you will love your baby to the moon and back no matter what.

Before I ever got pregnant I was all for being team green.

After TTC for a while I decided I dont care if we find out the sex. (hubby wanted to know)

Part of me really wanted a girl, especially after I decided on the name Id use. 

Hubby favors having a boy. (only one to pass on his family name so I get it)

Both of us will obviously take any healthy baby but theres always that little 1% sway in a certain direction.

It wasnt confirmed yet but at week 10 the doctor asked if we are going to find out the sex in the future. We said yes. He said he cant say for sure but he thinks its a boy.

I admit it took a little bit of the fun out of it. The "it may be a girl" excitement went right down the drain. Obviously I felt like sh!t for feeling any form of feeling down after TTC for more than a year and a half. I kinda regretted finding out. Team green sounded way more fun after that.

Again at 14 weeks the doc still guessed boy. Ive pretty much accepted it and Im just happy.  How can I not be happy? Seeing the little peanut dance on the screen, slide down my uterus and stand on its head! I feel slight flutters here and there and I just want to hug my belly!

I think the whole sex disappointment thing passes but i believe its normal to feel a little let down even if you just had the slightest preference.

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

You'll get over it.  If you don't, you're a jerk.  I think being a little disappointed is okay, but if you're obsessing and freaking out and just, well, devastated, then no, that's not okay and I worry about your baby.

Please learn to love your baby for more than what's between their legs.  They are so much more than that. 

I know my DH was probably a little let down, secretly, that #2 is another boy and this is almost certainly our last baby.  But he is now starting to get excited about Henry and we are looking forward to seeing our family become complete.  

Even if you had the baby of the preferred gender, you might be disappointed to find that he/she doesn't fit your ideas of gender stereotyping in the first place.  You could have a tomboy girl or a boy who hates sports or something.  I'm certainly not a 100%-gender-neutral advocate (DS nursery was bright blue!) but let your child be an individual, first and foremost.  Not a set of sex organs.

I feel like this can be normal to an extent. I was also hoping for a boy and once we found out we were having a girl I also experienced the initial disappointment but after that I was forced to look into why I was feeling that way and this is what I came up with: I never had a very motherly mother. She wasn't there for me in my childhood as I would have liked her to be. We didn't spend time together and never developed that close relationship every mother-daughter should have. I realized that is what is holding me back and making me feel those feelings, which weren't disappointment at all but just nervous and scared feelings. I don't want my daughter to grow up feeling the same why and once I accepted that, I was excited about having a girl! So I encourage you to do the same thing and think about the reason you are upset. It may help you move forward. Good luck!!

CarolynL8:

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 *rolls eyes* 

miss2697:

I feel like this can be normal to an extent. I was also hoping for a boy and once we found out we were having a girl I also experienced the initial disappointment but after that I was forced to look into why I was feeling that way and this is what I came up with: I never had a very motherly mother. She wasn't there for me in my childhood as I would have liked her to be. We didn't spend time together and never developed that close relationship every mother-daughter should have. I realized that is what is holding me back and making me feel those feelings, which weren't disappointment at all but just nervous and scared feelings. I don't want my daughter to grow up feeling the same why and once I accepted that, I was excited about having a girl! So I encourage you to do the same thing and think about the reason you are upset. It may help you move forward. Good luck!!

This is good advice, I think. 

rochella:

CarolynL8:

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 *rolls eyes* 

I cant hope i have a daughter some day?

Did you roll your eyes at your husband when he wanted baby #2 to be a girl?

In the rare case that this post isn't MUD....

There is nothing wrong with initial disappointment..like 'darn, I thought it was going to be a boy.'. But then you get over it. If your baby is healthy, that is all that matters. The fact that you are 'devastated' is truly sad and selfish and perhaps you should think about if you are really ready for a child.

CarolynL8:

rochella:

CarolynL8:

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 *rolls eyes* 

I cant hope i have a daughter some day?

Did you roll your eyes at your husband when he wanted baby #2 to be a girl?

No, but I told him that he couldn't be an *** about it if it ended up being another boy, since I knew in my gut it was another boy all along.  I don't believe having one of each is an "ideal" family.  My sister and I are my parents' only children, and my boys will probably be my only children.  My family felt very much complete growing up, and I hope my family feels the same way.

I think the "ideal" family is one where the children are loved and cherished no matter what, not where one has a vagina and one has a penis.   

Thank you ladies. I kinda needed that slap to get my head back in the game. Devastated was a bit strong, but we were definitely expecting and hoping for one and did not even give a thought to the other. Stupid I know since it is a 50/50 chance. Thank you ladies, the idea to go buy outfits is a great one and one I wil ltry tomorrow when I get off of work. Any other ideas would be helpful and appreciated.

lilender:

Thank you ladies. I kinda needed that slap to get my head back in the game. Devastated was a bit strong, but we were definitely expecting and hoping for one and did not even give a thought to the other. Stupid I know since it is a 50/50 chance. Thank you ladies, the idea to go buy outfits is a great one and one I wil ltry tomorrow when I get off of work. Any other ideas would be helpful and appreciated.

Good luck!  I promise when you have the baby it will feel different. 

rochella:

CarolynL8:

rochella:

CarolynL8:

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 *rolls eyes* 

I cant hope i have a daughter some day?

Did you roll your eyes at your husband when he wanted baby #2 to be a girl?

No, but I told him that he couldn't be an *** about it if it ended up being another boy, since I knew in my gut it was another boy all along.  I don't believe having one of each is an "ideal" family.  My sister and I are my parents' only children, and my boys will probably be my only children.  My family felt very much complete growing up, and I hope my family feels the same way.

I think the "ideal" family is one where the children are loved and cherished no matter what, not where one has a vagina and one has a penis.   

 

I will take any 2 healthy babies I get if Im lucky enough to get 2.

But since I slightly wanted a girl more and my hubby slightly wanted a boy more 1 and 1 would be ideal for OUR wants. 

I didnt say it is ideal and if its not what you have you suck.

I wouldnt be an @ss about it and start throwing a fit if the next one is also a boy. 

geez

I mean this is the least snarky way possible - whenever you feel that disappointment creep into your mind, think of the thousands of couples who would do anything to have a healthy baby of either gender and haven't been able to conceive.

Gender disappointment is pretty common but it should go away, if it doesn't (and again no snark intended) see a psychologist.

i can relate to how you are feeling. i have always liked baby girls more than boys. i just felt like i could relate and connect to them more. i have always felt awkward when handling baby boys.

when we got pregnant, i prayed for a girl! i wanted a girl so bad because i wanted to do all the things with her that my mom did with me. we even came up with a girl's name rather quickly.

well, much to my chagrin we are expecting a boy. i was so disappointed to the point that i was sad the whole day. hubby was jumping for joy with excitement because he REALLY, REALLY wanted a little boy.

i will be honest and say it's taken some time to get over the fact that i don't have a girl, but i am VERY happy that my little guy is healthy and very active. 

CarolynL8:

Before I ever got pregnant I was all for being team green.

After TTC for a while I decided I dont care if we find out the sex. (hubby wanted to know)

Part of me really wanted a girl, especially after I decided on the name Id use. 

Hubby favors having a boy. (only one to pass on his family name so I get it)

Both of us will obviously take any healthy baby but theres always that little 1% sway in a certain direction.

It wasnt confirmed yet but at week 10 the doctor asked if we are going to find out the sex in the future. We said yes. He said he cant say for sure but he thinks its a boy.

I admit it took a little bit of the fun out of it. The "it may be a girl" excitement went right down the drain. Obviously I felt like sh!t for feeling any form of feeling down after TTC for more than a year and a half. I kinda regretted finding out. Team green sounded way more fun after that.

Again at 14 weeks the doc still guessed boy. Ive pretty much accepted it and Im just happy.  How can I not be happy? Seeing the little peanut dance on the screen, slide down my uterus and stand on its head! I feel slight flutters here and there and I just want to hug my belly!

I think the whole sex disappointment thing passes but i believe its normal to feel a little let down even if you just had the slightest preference.

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 

We have had three people on my BMB that got inaccurate gender guesses early on -- one was wrong at 17 weeks. I think you are still totally on Team Green!

rochella:

lilender:

Thank you ladies. I kinda needed that slap to get my head back in the game. Devastated was a bit strong, but we were definitely expecting and hoping for one and did not even give a thought to the other. Stupid I know since it is a 50/50 chance. Thank you ladies, the idea to go buy outfits is a great one and one I wil ltry tomorrow when I get off of work. Any other ideas would be helpful and appreciated.

Good luck!  I promise when you have the baby it will feel different. 

I agree. I always wanted a boy and was really bummed when we learned we were having a daughter. Now that she's here, I'd much prefer having another girl if/when we have our second.

The "ideal" family of 1:1 is just dumb. I came from that ideal family and still I yearned to have a sister. I'm just not quite sure why any scenario is "ideal" by cultural norms.

OP, I totally understand the disappointment, but it quickly erases once the baby arrives. Good luck!

MotherMayEye:

CarolynL8:

Before I ever got pregnant I was all for being team green.

After TTC for a while I decided I dont care if we find out the sex. (hubby wanted to know)

Part of me really wanted a girl, especially after I decided on the name Id use. 

Hubby favors having a boy. (only one to pass on his family name so I get it)

Both of us will obviously take any healthy baby but theres always that little 1% sway in a certain direction.

It wasnt confirmed yet but at week 10 the doctor asked if we are going to find out the sex in the future. We said yes. He said he cant say for sure but he thinks its a boy.

I admit it took a little bit of the fun out of it. The "it may be a girl" excitement went right down the drain. Obviously I felt like sh!t for feeling any form of feeling down after TTC for more than a year and a half. I kinda regretted finding out. Team green sounded way more fun after that.

Again at 14 weeks the doc still guessed boy. Ive pretty much accepted it and Im just happy.  How can I not be happy? Seeing the little peanut dance on the screen, slide down my uterus and stand on its head! I feel slight flutters here and there and I just want to hug my belly!

I think the whole sex disappointment thing passes but i believe its normal to feel a little let down even if you just had the slightest preference.

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 

 

We have had three people on my BMB that got inaccurate gender guesses early on -- one was wrong at 17 weeks. I think you are still totally on Team Green!

My cousin just gave birth to a daughter, her ultrasound was wrong at 18 weeks. 

CarolynL8:

rochella:

CarolynL8:

rochella:

CarolynL8:

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 *rolls eyes* 

I cant hope i have a daughter some day?

Did you roll your eyes at your husband when he wanted baby #2 to be a girl?

No, but I told him that he couldn't be an *** about it if it ended up being another boy, since I knew in my gut it was another boy all along.  I don't believe having one of each is an "ideal" family.  My sister and I are my parents' only children, and my boys will probably be my only children.  My family felt very much complete growing up, and I hope my family feels the same way.

I think the "ideal" family is one where the children are loved and cherished no matter what, not where one has a vagina and one has a penis.   

 

I will take any 2 healthy babies I get if Im lucky enough to get 2.

But since I slightly wanted a girl more and my hubby slightly wanted a boy more 1 and 1 would be ideal for OUR wants. 

I didnt say it is ideal and if its not what you have you suck.

I wouldnt be an @ss about it and start throwing a fit if the next one is also a boy. 

geez

I just hope your expectations don't lead you to wish for what you THINK is the "ideal" family when maybe your family could be ideal without meeting those.  It always sucks to be the kid who was SUPPOSED to be the opposite gender, and kids can always pick up on those sorts of things.  I didn't mean to offend or cause conflict, but the word "one and one would obviously be ideal" really got to me. 

I want a boy very badly. I will be a little disappointed if it is a girl....but I know whoever my child is, boy or girl, they will be amazing.

Five_letter:

My cousin just gave birth to a daughter, her ultrasound was wrong at 18 weeks. 

Wow!  I had my U/S at 18 weeks (actually, a little under) and that scares me.  I can imagine it going the other way (a baby boy hiding its junk) but I can't imagine that you see something there that isn't there! 

rochella:

CarolynL8:

rochella:

CarolynL8:

rochella:

CarolynL8:

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 *rolls eyes* 

I cant hope i have a daughter some day?

Did you roll your eyes at your husband when he wanted baby #2 to be a girl?

No, but I told him that he couldn't be an *** about it if it ended up being another boy, since I knew in my gut it was another boy all along.  I don't believe having one of each is an "ideal" family.  My sister and I are my parents' only children, and my boys will probably be my only children.  My family felt very much complete growing up, and I hope my family feels the same way.

I think the "ideal" family is one where the children are loved and cherished no matter what, not where one has a vagina and one has a penis.   

 

I will take any 2 healthy babies I get if Im lucky enough to get 2.

But since I slightly wanted a girl more and my hubby slightly wanted a boy more 1 and 1 would be ideal for OUR wants. 

I didnt say it is ideal and if its not what you have you suck.

I wouldnt be an @ss about it and start throwing a fit if the next one is also a boy. 

geez

I just hope your expectations don't lead you to wish for what you THINK is the "ideal" family when maybe your family could be ideal without meeting those.  It always sucks to be the kid who was SUPPOSED to be the opposite gender, and kids can always pick up on those sorts of things.  I didn't mean to offend or cause conflict, but the word "one and one would obviously be ideal" really got to me. 

 

No way, Im not like that!

I would love to have a daughter but if its all boys its all boys.

I forget that you really have to watch how you word things on here. Ideal was probably not the "ideal" word to use. 

rochella:

CarolynL8:

rochella:

CarolynL8:

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 *rolls eyes* 

I cant hope i have a daughter some day?

Did you roll your eyes at your husband when he wanted baby #2 to be a girl?

No, but I told him that he couldn't be an *** about it if it ended up being another boy, since I knew in my gut it was another boy all along.  I don't believe having one of each is an "ideal" family.  My sister and I are my parents' only children, and my boys will probably be my only children.  My family felt very much complete growing up, and I hope my family feels the same way.

I think the "ideal" family is one where the children are loved and cherished no matter what, not where one has a vagina and one has a penis.   

I think everyone agrees with you on an "ideal" family being one where the children are all loved, Rochella, but I think you're interpreting Carolyn's comment in a different way than she meant it. I didn't think she was at all saying that she would love two boys or two girls or whatever other combination any less. There's nothing wrong with hoping a little bit to have one of each, or two of each, or all girls or all boys or whatever else sounds neat to you. In the end, you love them just as much and wouldn't trade, no matter what their sexes are!

I REALLY wanted a girl, and I was disappointed when I found out we were having a boy. I made my husband take me to Babies R Us right after we found out, and I stood in the girls' clothes and cried a little bit because they were so cute. My husband was mortified, haha.

Anyway, it's been about 7 weeks, and now I am thrilled we are having a boy. I had to get used to the idea, but my disappointment has definitely faded over time. I am so excited about our little boy at this point that I can't even imagine having a girl!

Part of me thought that if it were a boy ,I would be disappointed up until he was born. I didn't feel that way, but I just knew that even if I did, once he was born I would be in love and forget all about my sex of the baby woes. Like a PP said, if the baby comes and you are still lingering over this, that could indicate a problem... but I bet you will move past it and be excited more quickly than you think. I did! 

MotherMayEye:

CarolynL8:

Before I ever got pregnant I was all for being team green.

After TTC for a while I decided I dont care if we find out the sex. (hubby wanted to know)

Part of me really wanted a girl, especially after I decided on the name Id use. 

Hubby favors having a boy. (only one to pass on his family name so I get it)

Both of us will obviously take any healthy baby but theres always that little 1% sway in a certain direction.

It wasnt confirmed yet but at week 10 the doctor asked if we are going to find out the sex in the future. We said yes. He said he cant say for sure but he thinks its a boy.

I admit it took a little bit of the fun out of it. The "it may be a girl" excitement went right down the drain. Obviously I felt like sh!t for feeling any form of feeling down after TTC for more than a year and a half. I kinda regretted finding out. Team green sounded way more fun after that.

Again at 14 weeks the doc still guessed boy. Ive pretty much accepted it and Im just happy.  How can I not be happy? Seeing the little peanut dance on the screen, slide down my uterus and stand on its head! I feel slight flutters here and there and I just want to hug my belly!

I think the whole sex disappointment thing passes but i believe its normal to feel a little let down even if you just had the slightest preference.

Now Im just hoping that if we have a baby #2 its a girl! lol

one and one would obviously be ideal

 

 

We have had three people on my BMB that got inaccurate gender guesses early on -- one was wrong at 17 weeks. I think you are still totally on Team Green!

 

O yes, I agree!  The boy thing hasnt been confirmed but just the fact that he's said it twice sortve took the thought of it being a girl out of my mind. lol

rochella:

Five_letter:

My cousin just gave birth to a daughter, her ultrasound was wrong at 18 weeks. 

Wow!  I had my U/S at 18 weeks (actually, a little under) and that scares me.  I can imagine it going the other way (a baby boy hiding its junk) but I can't imagine that you see something there that isn't there! 

 

But girls do start out with nubs that look an awful lot like boy nubs.

http://www.baby2see.com/gender/external_genitals.html

AND sometimes it's difficult to determine that it is actually the umbilical cord you're seeing.

MotherMayEye:

rochella:

Five_letter:

My cousin just gave birth to a daughter, her ultrasound was wrong at 18 weeks. 

Wow!  I had my U/S at 18 weeks (actually, a little under) and that scares me.  I can imagine it going the other way (a baby boy hiding its junk) but I can't imagine that you see something there that isn't there! 

 

But girls do start out with nubs that look an awful lot like boy nubs.

http://www.baby2see.com/gender/external_genitals.html

AND sometimes it's difficult to determine that it is actually the umbilical cord you're seeing.

 

Interesting... Now i understand what they mean by "the angle of the dangle" lol