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01-03-2013 at 7:32 PM
jezebel57
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Joined on 12-20-2012
21,066 Points
jezebel57 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 6:47 AMBronze

Anyone else see their med list and have a panic attack?

I just looked at my med list and started shaking to the point of I had to go lay down.  I also have to call the nurse since I didn't see "lupron" listed.  although I freaked out because I saw versed, propofol, and another med then realized it was for the ER.  whew! thought I would be taking that nightly with the other meds! :) 

it's becoming very real to me and i think that's what is scaring me.  so overwhelmed right now.  

i did make an acupuncture appointment for next week and i'm hoping that calms me down a bit since i had to give up the xanax!  


Me (37) DH (39); Finally correctly diagnosed with DOR in 2012; Started TTC 2009; RE 2009/2010- RE cycle #1 clomid+ ovidrel + TI = BFN; RE cycle #2 clomid + ovidrel + TI=BFN; RE cycle #3 femara + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #4 75iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #5 150iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI = BFN ; Took a break and had Weight loss surgery in 2011, back to new RE in 2012 ; AMH 0.43 IVF #1 /ICSI and AH; MDL protocol - ER 2/11 5R, 3M, 2F Three day transfer of 8 cell grade 3 and 8 cell grade 2 embryos. BFN. RPL testing shows homo MTHFR and hetero PAI-1. IVF #2 antagonist-ER 5/14 8R 6M 5F. Three day transfer of 3 embies. 6 cell grade 3, 4 cell grade 2, 5 cell grade 3. Hoping and praying. Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
01-03-2013 at 8:00 PM
Crystal120...
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Joined on 04-24-2011
29,571 Points
Crystal120410 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 9:50 PMBronze
They sent you versed and proportion?!?! WTF?? That's craziness! Those are serious drugs that should not be outside of a hospital.

Married 9-10-11
Together 6 years before marriage
Me 26 DH 28
TTC since 9/2011
Dx endo 2007 Sx laparoscopy
End bcp 9/2011
Dx annovulatory, DOR, Low AMH
Hysteroscopy due to polyp 2-1-12
IUI#1-3 Cancelled due to low response
IUI#4 BFFN
IVF#1 8/30 Beta#1 256, 8/31 Beta#2 482 BFP!! M/C 5w3d
FET#1 Cancelled due to uterine fluid and thin lining
FET#1.2Cancelled due to abnormal bleeding
Hysteroscopy 12/28/12 All clear
FET#1.3 2/2013 Cancelled
FET #1.4 3/19 BFFN
Good Luck to All!!
Crystal
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01-03-2013 at 8:15 PM
Gr8te
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Joined on 08-18-2012
10,004 Points
Gr8te is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 9:12 PMBronze

I did because my pharmacy shipped all my cycle meds at once. Don't worry you don't use them all at the same time. ;) It's more managable than you think.

 Good Luck!!!  


~ Everyone Welcome ~
TTC: 05/2011 Me: 32, All Clear DH: 38 Dx: MFI Low Testosterone & 1% Morphology
IVF #1 w/ICSI & IMSI, 12/03/12: ER: 27R, 20M, 15F
4 blasts frozen (3BA 4BA 4BB 5BB) b/c of moderate OHSS
FET #1: 02/08/13 Transferred 3BA & 4BA | HPT 5dp5dt BFP!
10dp5dt Beta #1 - 810 | 12dp5dt Beta #2 - 1843
 BabyFetus Ticker 
01-03-2013 at 9:13 PM
BabyVDM
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Joined on 05-16-2011
5,462 Points
BabyVDM is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 7:05 AMBronze

I didn't have an attack when I saw the med list or even when I saw my calendar. 

When I got home today and opened my cupboard and saw the HUGE bag of meds my husband picked up for me this afternoon.  I gingerly opened the bag to have a look at what was there.  OMG that one set of needles is soo huge and scary. 

Reality hit this afternoon at 5:15 p.m. and so did the panic attack.

help.... 


BFP#1 04/12/2011 - fetal demise - MC 05/28/2011
BFP#2 10/14/2011 - fetal demise - MC 12/13/2011
BFP#3 05/30/2012 - fetal demise - MC 07/23/2012
DE IVF#1 02/14/2013 - 2 Beautiful Blasts transferred
BFP#4 02/25/2013 - ???? - MC 03/06/2013 and ends up ectopic

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Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Married 07/16/2011

Daisypath Vacation tickers
Breast Cancer diagnosis 12/01/2010 - Survivor and Cancer free as of 03/22/2011
 
01-03-2013 at 9:39 PM
BellaLux
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Joined on 07-24-2008
15,170 Points
BellaLux is not online. Last active: 05-12-2013, 5:38 PMSilver
I had a panic attack once I was told the grand total--$$$$:-(

~TTC#1 Since July 2011~
Dx: 10/10 - Fibroids; 6/12 - Tubal Infertility
9/12 -IVF w/ICSI (Antagonist Protocol)=BFFN
Next: Feb 2013 -Myomectomy
S/PAIF Welcome
Daisypath Anniversary tickers  
01-03-2013 at 9:47 PM
dede0726
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Joined on 12-28-2012
8,403 Points
dede0726 is not online. Last active: 04-26-2013, 1:06 PMNewbie

I will have propofol (sp) for my ER as well, but was assured it wont be the Michael Jackson special

 It is overwhelming, but they know what they're doing, right?!?


Me - 35 DH - 37 SD - 10
Married 10/8/2011
Started TTC July 2011. Infertility workup July & August 2012.
DH - all clear. Me - Unicornuate Uterus discovered at HSG 8/16/12. Referred for IVF 8/28/12. Approved for IVF Warranty Program 10/2/12. Laparoscopy 11/1/12 - removed right rudamentary horn, both tubes, left ovarian cyst and endometriosis. Given all clear for pregnancy after 1/1/2013.
IVF cycle 1 starts 1/19/13!
12 eggs, 7 mature and all 7 fertilized - 2 Frosties!!
5 day SET 2/4/13 - Beta 2/13: 86 & 2/15: 186 BFP!!!!
EDD: October, 23, 2013
Blog: http://journeyofaplayer.wordpress.com/
 
01-03-2013 at 11:39 PM
Cypress82
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Joined on 05-01-2011
9,112 Points
Cypress82 is not online. Last active: 05-03-2013, 10:08 PMNewbie

I had my nurse consult and got my Rx for all my meds today too. It is very overwhelming, but...they assured me that it would be taken in baby steps and they would be there to help, answer any questions, give reminders, etc along the way. NOT looking forward to the HCG shot :/ But...ah well!

 


**TTC #1 since Sep 2009** Me: 31 DH: 29 (healthy, SA = normal)

DX (May 2010) = Lap #1 showed Stage I-II endometriosis. HSG normal. Tx with 6 mo Lupron (which did nothing...) Lap #2 June 2011 to remove endo, uterine fibroid, and polyp

IUI #1-#3 (July-Sep 2011): All Clomid 50 mg + unmonitored IUI = All BFN

October 2011 - April 2012: Outta $$$ (no insurance coverage) = back to tryin' on our own

May 2012 - August 2012: Mental break from trying

October 2012: New OB. Bloodwork normal aside from slightly low progesterone

November 2012: IUI #4: Letrozole 2.5 mg + Novarel trigger + monitored IUI + progesterone = BFN

IVF #1: Long Lupron Protocol,Menopur,Follistim, ER = 2/12/13 27R/26M/23F

2/17/13 Transferred 1 perfect Grade 1 blast. 17 frostbabies.

HPT 7dp5dt: BFP!!! Beta #1 9dp5dt: 108 Beta #2 11dp5dt: 368

U/S #1 3/19: One little bumpkin with a perfect HB!! EDD: 11/5/13

Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers  IAmPregnant Ticker 
01-04-2013 at 9:27 AM
PokerChic8...
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Joined on 12-14-2012
2,021 Points
PokerChic85 is not online. Last active: 01-08-2013, 5:06 PMNewbie

When they were all delivered I freaked a little. But now, it's a piece of cake - not fun, but easy. Once you get into the swing of things, and take it day by day, one injection at a time - it's not that bad. 

The first injection, I stood there with the needle for literally 15 minutes pinching my skin and I would go to do it, then stop before I touched my skin... Then cry, then repeat about 25 times until I finally did it. Once I stuck myself for the first time, I just started screaming "AHHHHHH" and DH goes "Inject it!!!".. I just kept screaming, and finally did.

Now - it's pretty easy; but DH does the night time ones bc its too much for me to do them all!

GL!  


TTC since early 2011 “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.” -Mother Teresa  
01-04-2013 at 1:07 PM
chucktgirl
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Joined on 06-01-2006
Michigan
19,963 Points
chucktgirl is not online. Last active: 04-18-2013, 4:43 PMBronze
Yes! Very overwhelming. In fact, I am currently pretending it's not there. The HUGE box of meds is currenly sitting in my bathtub. I ignore every time I enter the room. I think I'm starting to feel some period cramps, so it looks like I really need to go introduce my self to it tonight. Tongue Tied


My (old) BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com
TTC since Jan 2010 with OPKs. Me: 41, Hypothyroidism, hetero MTHFR C677T, hetero Factor V Leiden (no previous clots) Dx: DOR due to AMA. Rx: 100mg Levothyroxin, FaBB tab, Spring Valley Prenatal Vitamins, Vitamin D. Hubby: 34, Hyperthyroidism, Fragile X carrier, Great swimmers!
Natural PG 9/27/11; MC at 8wks. Used Cytotec to expel: 1/20/12 (unpleasant)
First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12(4cm unknown mass in upper left of uterus) 2nd Saline Sonogram: 10/2/12 (mass disappeared!) IVF injection class: 10/11/12
IVF #1: 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Progesterone- 0.3. 6 follicles in my right ovary & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ in AM. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ in PM. 10/26/12: hCG Trigger IM. ER 10/28/12: 13R, 7M, 6F. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. PGS: All 5 have "severe abnormalities." Devastated. Begged RE for back-to-back IVFs; Started Provera 11/2/12. AF said FU and came anyway, destroying any chance for a Dec IVF. Maxed out lifetime IF meds insurance. I can barely breathe, waiting to get through this process, hoping for my take-home-baby.
IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right ovary & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. 1/16/13: hCG Trigger IM. ER 1/18/13: 9R, 5M, 5F. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. PGS: All embryos have "multiple severe abnormalities." RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the repeated extremely poor quality of my eggs. I don't even know what to do with that.
IVF #3- NEW RE! 100% OOP: 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Progesterone- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right ovary & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ. 3/11/13 ER: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0. 3/16/13 Five day ET: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 Started period a day before beta. BFN.
IVF #4 (FINAL) (Added acupuncture to this cycle.): 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Progesterone- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right ovary & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle & 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ. 4/5/13 ER: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). 4/10/13 Five day ET: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) 4/18/13 Beta: 2.5 BFFN.
No DE or adoption for us, FIRM.
That’s it for us. I am beyond devastated and have no idea how to proceed from here. My life has been forever altered by this experience. Best wishes to all in their journeys! 
01-04-2013 at 4:20 PM
jezebel57
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-20-2012
21,066 Points
jezebel57 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 6:47 AMBronze

Thanks everyone, good to know I'm not alone.  I was totally prepared for the lupron, follistim, menopur but not all the others.  It just scared me a bit.  Plus we are going through a mail order pharmacy and not our regular one that sends us little treats of chocolate in the packages so that pissed my husband off.  Told him I would buy him a big old candy bar if he could put up with my mood swings when I was on all these. 

I'm having such control issues.  The fact that I can't control when the meds are coming, and I don't have a clear understanding of step by step yet is freaking me out.  The nurse told me generally what happens but I think I will feel much better when I get my calendar.  Plus I'm considering telling my parents this weekend and I'm all worked up about this.  Guess I could sneak in a xanax since I'm technically not on meds yet. 

My husband yelled at me when he saw me freaking out about the med list, he doesn't understand why i do this to myself ahead of time when I can't control it.  It's also the same reason he yelled at me when I was looking at PIO shots on you tube. lol.  He doesn't understand the incessant need for me to know absolutely every little detail.  Since I can't control my body apparently I want to control as much outside stuff as possible. 

There, done the rant. Thanks for listening!


Me (37) DH (39); Finally correctly diagnosed with DOR in 2012; Started TTC 2009; RE 2009/2010- RE cycle #1 clomid+ ovidrel + TI = BFN; RE cycle #2 clomid + ovidrel + TI=BFN; RE cycle #3 femara + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #4 75iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #5 150iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI = BFN ; Took a break and had Weight loss surgery in 2011, back to new RE in 2012 ; AMH 0.43 IVF #1 /ICSI and AH; MDL protocol - ER 2/11 5R, 3M, 2F Three day transfer of 8 cell grade 3 and 8 cell grade 2 embryos. BFN. RPL testing shows homo MTHFR and hetero PAI-1. IVF #2 antagonist-ER 5/14 8R 6M 5F. Three day transfer of 3 embies. 6 cell grade 3, 4 cell grade 2, 5 cell grade 3. Hoping and praying. Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
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