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01-04-2013 at 12:36 AM
BrensMommy...
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BrensMommy07 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 11:30 AMNewbie

Just a rant....(long, sorry!)

So I am at the end of my 1st trimester (yay!). It hasn't been a good one. In more ways than one. So let me start at the beginning. My mom and i never really got along. Just recently in the past year our relationship has become so much better! I have a 5 year old son who she loved with all her heart. When I found out I was pregnant, she called me and DH morons but she was excited. :D When I was about 5 weeks, my mother passed away suddenly from a blood clot. It was the Monday after thanksgiving. I was in my house and my DH went to pick her up from the hosp. and bring her home. (She lived next door to us.) He ran inside our house and told me to come outside because she was unconscious and the paramedics are working on her. I ran out half naked. My father drove me to the hosp. behind her ambulance and about 10 minutes later the doctors told me there was nothing they could do. She was already gone when the paramedics got there. 

 

So I got to see after that how "loving" my family really was. My aunt told me I killed her. My grandmother keeps saying i don't understand her pain. I'm being called a monster because I haven't cried. (I don't like to cry. I never have.) My grandmother tonight told me that she "knows" my DH purposely let my mother die because he didn't do CPR. (He did everything the 911 dispatcher told him to do.) Everything i do i am being a punching bag. My son wanted to call my grandmother and I let him. She then yelled at me because I upset her by her hearing DS voice. Dont get me wrong. I am not trying to get pity. At this point I have no where to turn to rant because my whole family has made me the focus of their drama.

 

I just needed to vent. I just cant even fathom that a so-called "family" Would do that to one another. They just simply ignore the fact that i lost her too. Thanks for reading. I just needed to get this out. :)  (And please excuse my poor spelling. My keyboard sucks and I am trying not to cry :) )

 
 
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01-04-2013 at 1:03 AM
Lissa832
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Joined on 03-28-2004
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Lissa832 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 11:48 AMSilver

 You wrote that your H went to pick her up from the hospital to bring her home. Then you wrote that he ran inside and said to come outside because she was unconscious and the paramedics were working on her. I guess I'm a bit confused. When was she at the hospital that your H was going to get her? Who called the paramedics? How did you not hear the commotion outside if you lived next to one another? Why would your H do CPR if the paramedics were there? Did she collapse after returning from the hospital?

If your story is legit, then I'm truly sorry. I'll say though, that it doesn't make sense and you contradict yourself. 
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01-04-2013 at 1:05 AM
BrensMommy...
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BrensMommy07 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 11:30 AMNewbie
She was in originally for back pain. I am deaf so I did not hear any commotion . He picked her up and then upon bringing her home, She collapsed, he called 911, the paramedics then took her BACK to the hospital. 
 
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01-04-2013 at 1:05 AM
QueSyrah
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QueSyrah is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 2:00 AMSilver
Lissa832:

 You wrote that your H went to pick her up from the hospital to bring her home. Then you wrote that he ran inside and said to come outside because she was unconscious and the paramedics were working on her. I guess I'm a bit confused. When was she at the hospital that your H was going to get her? Who called the paramedics? How did you not hear the commotion outside if you lived next to one another? Why would your H do CPR if the paramedics were there? Did she collapse after returning from the hospital?

If your story is legit, then I'm truly sorry. I'll say though, that it doesn't make sense and you contradict yourself. 

Ditto. I'm having a hard time understanding your story.

How could you not hear/see an ambulance pull up outside? And at no point during any of this did your dad never go next door or call you or anything?

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01-04-2013 at 1:07 AM
BrensMommy...
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BrensMommy07 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 11:30 AMNewbie
My parents dont live together. my father lives in another part of town i had to get him to pick me up. I didnt hear anything. i cant hear very well unless something or someone is right next to me. 
 
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01-04-2013 at 4:19 AM
Dalliance
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Dalliance is not online. Last active: 04-23-2013, 12:40 PMNewbie

I'm sorry for your loss! And I'm also sorry you are finding the need to defend yourself.  I understand that your truncated the story so we don't read a 20 page post.

Your family is probably just going through a phase of grieving. And are choosing to pick on you to blame.  I'm assuming it's an easy target given previous issues and/or just proximity.  Hopefully it will pass with time.  Keep strong!

BFP: 12/7/12 Expected: 8/15/13

Estimated Due Date: 15 August 2013

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01-04-2013 at 7:39 AM
sueann911
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Coming out of lurking...

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.

I am a 911 dispatcher and if your mom was just unconscious and still breathing at the time of the call, then there was no reason to start CPR. Your DH did the right thing and unfortunately in many cases there is nothing that can be done. Even if the medics were there immediately with her or if she was in the hospital there may have been nothing that they could have done. Sometimes early intervention can help but sometimes it won't, and we never know why.

Your family is obviously upset and trying to blame someone. I'm sorry they are being so terrible to you. That really sucks. I hope it gets better for you and your family's grief does not continue to blame everyone.

Me: 31 DH: 31. B/W: good. SA: good.
November 2012: Paratubal cyst found during U/S.
January 10, 2013: Lap removed paratubal cyst and Stage 2 Endometriosis.
January 2013: Unmedicated. P4 was 8.4. Meds recommended.
February 2013: Femara 2.5 mg and TI. P4 was 8.5. Meds will be doubled next cycle.
March 2013: Femara 5 mg and TI. P4 was over 11.
April 2013: Femara 5 mg and IUI#1. P4 was 11.4. Post wash over 40 million.
May 2013: Femara 5 mg and TI. Vacation during FW.
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01-04-2013 at 8:52 AM
Melanieian
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Melanieian is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 4:11 PMNewbie

So sorry that you are having to defend your story. Some people.

 

I am very sorry for your loss and very sorry that your family is doing this to you. At a time when you should all be together they have decided to place the blame on you. They need to go and talk to the doctor, there is no way this was you or your DH fault and how dare your grandmother yell at you for speaking to your DS. I am sorry I have no tolerance for ANYONE using children to gain leverage on someone.
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01-04-2013 at 10:28 AM
PrimRoseMa...
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PrimRoseMama is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 4:20 AMGold
I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. 

Everyone handles loss differently. Your family should lay off and back off. You have your own grieving process to go through. Just because you are not visibly upset doesn't mean that you loved your mother any less than they did. Also, you did not kill her. I don't understand how they can even come to this conclusion? It sounds like they are taking her loss very hard and saying things out of anger/sadness. I would do my best to ignore all of that. They might apologize later. I know its hurtful, but I have a feeling that they are not themselves during this time. 

Please take care of yourself. If you have to, remove yourself from the drama. Give yourself a break from people who are causing you stress. You need to take care of you.  
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01-04-2013 at 1:17 PM
twolittlew...
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twolittlewheels is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 4:43 PMBronze
I'm so sorry for your loss and people's stupidity.  Hopefully everything will blow over soon.
DS born 1-24-2010 DD born 7-8-2011 #3 9-1-13

 
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01-04-2013 at 6:56 PM
fritz799
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fritz799 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 1:30 PMNewbie
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had more helpful things to say--but I'm really sorry you're going through all of that.
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