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01-04-2013 at 9:25 AM
fennyann
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Joined on 02-17-2009
19,181 Points
fennyann is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 3:51 PMBronze

Overbearing Mother-VENT

Ok, i love my mother but my goodness...

Yesterday, I was about to flip. Since I have started back at work, the baby has been in daycare and my mother picks him up since DH and I get home later in the day. It's nice because it helps on daycare costs but...I think it makes my mom feel she knows whats best for our baby because she is spending this extra time with him. For example...She picked him up at 4:00PM. Once she got home, she gave him a 4oz bottle and then an hour later gave him another 5oz bottle! 9oz total within 90 minutes! I was so furious. She said that he was crying and he was acting like he was hungry so she fed him again.

Once I picked him up, he threw up all over the place..I was SO upset. Almost immediately after that, he started fussing and my mother proceeds to tell me that hes not getting enough food and that we need to feed him. His doctor has started him on rice cereal due to reflex so she thinks thats the green light to give him all kinds of baby food. I told her no! She got so upset with me. This was her comment.."When I had you, I listened to my mothers advice and gave you food at this age. But nooo, you will listen to the doctor because I don't know anything apparently."

Anyone elses mother like this? Its frustrating. I know she loves him to death but I don't like the way she talks down on me. Sorry this is so long..just so upset.


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01-04-2013 at 9:30 AM
Heavenisap...
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Joined on 11-08-2011
2,410 Points
Heavenisaplace is not online. Last active: 04-23-2013, 3:17 PMBronze
Holy guacamole. You definitely have to lay down the law with her and DON'T feel guilty about it. She can love your baby AND respect your wishes at the same time.

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01-04-2013 at 9:36 AM
fennyann
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-17-2009
19,181 Points
fennyann is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 3:51 PMBronze

Heavenisaplace:
Holy guacamole. You definitely have to lay down the law with her and DON'T feel guilty about it. She can love your baby AND respect your wishes at the same time.

HAHA I'm glad im not the only one who says Holy Guacamole. But yeah..I tell her, shes just stubborn. UGH!


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01-04-2013 at 11:32 AM
ANAG2010
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Joined on 07-03-2011
3,200 Points
ANAG2010 is not online. Last active: 04-16-2013, 5:18 PMNewbie

Heavenisaplace:
She can love your baby AND respect your wishes at the same time.

Remind her of this. She can get butthurt if she so chooses, but at the end of the day, this is your baby and you make the rules. Honestly, I probably would've laughed out loud at my mother if she made a comment along the lines of "Oh, you're going to listen to the doctorrrr instead of meeee". Um yeah, ma, hate to break it to you but they kind of went to school for it but thanks for playing. I can understand not taking this approach with someone helping you out, though.

Just plan a talk and make sure she knows you love her and are glad for her helping out and getting that extra little bit of time with the baby, but it does not make her a co-parent and there will be serious issues if she goes against what you lay out as the rules.

I totally understand this kind of stuff. Their information was different when they were raising us. My mother (completely without malice!) indulged me with a story of someone who had their child removed from the home because of "failure to thrive" because the mother, like a fool, chose to breastfeed. She genuinely thought this would be helpful to me in deciding how to feed my child because of the attitude towards breastfeeding vs. formula feeding when I was born. You know you're right, just try not to choke slam her when she thinks she's being helpful.


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