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01-04-2013 at 11:41 AM
mrsjessica...
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Joined on 05-06-2010
Bethlehem, PA
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mrsjessicamitchell is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 3:23 PMBronze

Thank You card tackiness averted- Thanks, ladies! And a question...

So I have to admit, I am usually a dirty lurker on this board... I truly enjoy the snark that goes along with all your advice! But you really do have great (and very valid) points and advice and I have learned from you ladies!

Yesterday, I got a phone call from one of the hostesses of my baby shower asking if I wanted them to pre-order my thank you cards and bring the envelopes for guests to address themselves at the shower... Well, thanks to your advice (I was admittedly naive about this before hand) I was able to say "No!" and let her know that I will handle it myself. Yay for avoiding tackiness and multiple side-eyes from women I truly love and am so grateful to be celebrating our son's impending arrival with!

I do have one question for you ladies, though... The shower is being held at my church, and we run a food pantry that is used a lot. The only request I made of my hostesses for the invite was that I asked if each guest could bring one small item for our food pantry with them... Is this a bad thing? My heart was in the right place, but now I am second guessing myself...


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01-04-2013 at 11:44 AM
526SadieSa...
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Hope, RI
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526SadieSadie is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 1:31 PMGold

Heart in the right place, yes but it would have gotten an eyeroll from me.  Not that a food pantry isn't a cause worthy of donations, far from it, but I wouldn't want to be guilted into making a donation when I'm already attending a shower with a gift for someone.

Donations should come from a spirit of wanting to help those in need, not "Oh, crap I forgot my can of peas, now I feel like a jerk."


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01-04-2013 at 11:51 AM
graciesmur...
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Joined on 07-30-2009
11,127 Points
graciesmurf is not online. Last active: 05-13-2013, 12:29 PMBronze

Yay!  I was also very naive before this board and almost agreed to a diaper keg party for DH.  Glad I found this before that happened.

As far as the food donation goes--It wasn't a great idea.  It's never a good idea to tell people how to spend their money, and the donation request makes your shower seem like a fundraiser for the church.  But if the invites are already sent there's not much you can do now.  Let everyone know how much you appreciate their donations and move on.  Like you said your heart was in the right place and now you know better.  Everyone makes mistakes and if a guest calls you out on it (which I doubt) own it and apoligize.


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01-04-2013 at 11:52 AM
PeanutR1
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PeanutR1 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 6:12 AMBronze

You know, I side eye a lot of things, especially asking people to bring a secondary gift, but this isn't one of them. I actually wouldn't have a problem with it.   I'm going to assume that as a parishioner, it's costing nothing/ very little to hold the shower there?  The way I see it, that favor by the church is passed onto me as the guest, b/c the hostess is able to use her budget more more food/decor/ things to make me enjoy the party more. So can I bring a.79 can of something?  Sure.

It's not MTB asking for something for her, and I always welcome the opportunity to take a step back from the "me, me, me" world and realize "I have the ability to buy a friend a nice gift and spend the day with her eating cake.  Some people can't and would be psyched to have the can of green beans"

 
01-04-2013 at 1:12 PM
Helenahhan...
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Joined on 06-20-2012
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Helenahhandbasket is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 5:53 AMSilver

Your heart is totally in the right place-- I commend you for that.

 

Honestly though, I wouldn't have done it.  I wouldn't combine the two events (shower, food drive).  One really has nothing to do with the other.

I would say maybe you should donate some extra time to the food pantry yourself if you can, or maybe get involved with putting together a fundraiser to get more groceries as a separate function.

It sounds like you already did it though?  If yes, maybe just let it go.  If your guests bring a food item so be it.


Married 11/23/07 BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12 Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
01-04-2013 at 3:31 PM
JordynLeig...
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JordynLeighx3 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 7:48 AMBronze
I wouldnt side eye the host asking us to preaddress an envelope if we brought a gift. To me, it's a nice way to save the mom some time, it's not like I'm writing my own thank you...? And plus, it would be nice to have those in case for some reason you can't read the handwriting of whoever wrote down your gifts received. You could make sure everyone who gave a gift got a thank you. I'm not saying its right, but I don't see how it's tacky and I wouldn't side eye it.

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01-04-2013 at 6:56 PM
ohlordy
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ohlordy is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 7:53 PMNewbie

JordynLeighx3:
I wouldnt side eye the host asking us to preaddress an envelope if we brought a gift. To me, it's a nice way to save the mom some time, it's not like I'm writing my own thank you...?

 I WANT TO SEE THIS AS A TREND NOW!!! 


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01-04-2013 at 9:11 PM
mel8255
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Joined on 05-28-2011
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mel8255 is not online. Last active: 04-22-2013, 12:53 PMNewbie
No joke. I went to a shower where the thank yous were prewritten and the MTBs sister filled in the blank with the gift that the MTB opened. Each guest filled out the "raffle" by putting our name on the envelopes and we got our thank you cards as we walked out the door.

It was so horrible, and yet I felt I should applaud her efficiency.
 
01-07-2013 at 12:36 PM
tilsonc
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Joined on 10-26-2008
Dallas, TX
7,697 Points
tilsonc is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 6:04 PMNewbie

mel8255:
No joke. I went to a shower where the thank yous were prewritten and the MTBs sister filled in the blank with the gift that the MTB opened. Each guest filled out the "raffle" by putting our name on the envelopes and we got our thank you cards as we walked out the door. It was so horrible, and yet I felt I should applaud her efficiency.

 Wow, some people have no class. I recently went to a shower where the invite was on FB. They asked us to write down our address when we arrived. This was over a month ago and we still have not received a thank you note.

 
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