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01-04-2013 at 7:45 PM
Jimsgirl58...
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Jimsgirl5821 is not online. Last active: 03-17-2013, 7:44 PMSilver

I can't take this.....

DS over the past few weeks has become more and more clingy. He won't nap on his own anymore, I have to hold him. If I put him down, he screams. I can't take it, I spend my whole day sitting in the corner of the couch holding him. If I don't, it takes me 10 minutes to calm him down (like when I put him down to go to the bathroom today). I can't shower, can't exercise, can't clean the house. Half the time can't get myself something to eat. I can't put him down so I can play with my 3 y/o. I don't get a minute to myself, I don't know what to do. DH works all the time so I am pretty much alone. He also started this fun thing of screaming from 6 pm til bedtime. DH is working tonight so I had both kids alone. He SCREAMED the whole time I helped DD with her PJs and tried to read her bedtime stories. I finally had to plop him in the other room and let him scream so I could tuck her in.

I don't know what to do and am getting stressed and depressed. I feel le a bad mom to DD because I can't give her one on one time. I am upset I don't get two minutes to do anything for myself. I feel so alone in dealing with this. I try to text DH at work to get this stuff off my chest and he just says "yea" or "probably a phase" or "can't you just let him cry? ". I feel like he's not interested because he never is the one dealing with it so it doesn't matter to him. He is 9 weeks.

 
01-04-2013 at 8:10 PM
sashmom
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Hi there,

I'm also struggling w/ 2 LOs and finding it really hard to give my time & attention to both of them. Most days, one of them has to cry while I tend to the other. My almost 9 week old DD is also v. clingy and has to be on me all the time... or so it feels like. Try darkening the room he sleeps in for naps, swaddling and a noise machine. Or sometimes I put DD in the moby wrap so she feels really close to me so I can get things done. She sleeps well in there most days. I know it's hard... hope things look up soon for you. : )

 
01-04-2013 at 8:25 PM
Jimsgirl58...
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sashmom:

Hi there,

I'm also struggling w/ 2 LOs and finding it really hard to give my time & attention to both of them. Most days, one of them has to cry while I tend to the other. My almost 9 week old DD is also v. clingy and has to be on me all the time... or so it feels like. Try darkening the room he sleeps in for naps, swaddling and a noise machine. Or sometimes I put DD in the moby wrap so she feels really close to me so I can get things done. She sleeps well in there most days. I know it's hard... hope things look up soon for you. : )

thank you ;) I am going to try to get him to nap in his crib tomorrow. The room has darkening shades and a noise machine. If it goes well, I can then maybe move him into his room to sleep at night, too. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone. I hope things start to get easier for you, too ;) 

 
01-04-2013 at 8:31 PM
MrsW101011
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I only have one LO so I don't really know what you're going through with the 2 kids but my DS had colic and it was miserable. I felt awful. I never had a minute to myself and I was very depressed. DH works a lot and I never had any help.

Everyone told me it would get better and it did. He is so much better now, yours will eventually grow out of it but I understand how hard it is and what it's like to feel like you're alone. :Hugs:


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01-04-2013 at 8:35 PM
Jimsgirl58...
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Jimsgirl5821 is not online. Last active: 03-17-2013, 7:44 PMSilver
MrsW101011:

I only have one LO so I don't really know what you're going through with the 2 kids but my DS had colic and it was miserable. I felt awful. I never had a minute to myself and I was very depressed. DH works a lot and I never had any help.

Everyone told me it would get better and it did. He is so much better now, yours will eventually grow out of it but I understand how hard it is and what it's like to feel like you're alone. :Hugs:

thank you so much. I'm so glad his colic is better for both of you ;) 

 
01-04-2013 at 8:56 PM
Pink253
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I know how stressful that can b. have u tried a baby carrier or moby wrap? I just purchased a moby wrap and my baby loves it! Plus it gives me the freedom to still b able to get aroun and do things.  Hang in there mama.....it all takes a little bit of adjustmentadjustment

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01-04-2013 at 9:07 PM
aimee413
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You are not alone!!!! I have 2 kids. 6yr old ds and 6wk dd.
We planned to have a second child and some days I think why!? Which makes me feel guilty. It's so much work to raise 2 kids and give them each your attention plus "me time". Then you still have a house to clean, meals to cook, and every little part of life to worry about. My dh works 311 so every night its me and the kids. I did a lot of crying in the beginning but am doing better now. My ds is in kindergarten so I do get a break during the day but dd is on a 2 hr schedule so I don't get much time.
I know it will get easier and will be worth it but right now it's very hard and stressful. I'm thankful for boards like this because this is my social life. lol With it being winter and a nasty flu season, I don't plan to leave the house until April.
I hope you can find what works for your LO to not need you all the time. GL!
 
01-04-2013 at 9:27 PM
Jimsgirl58...
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Thanks ladis. I was a little hesitant to write this. I didn't want to look like a bad mom like I couldn't handle it. And I didn't want it to seem I wasn't so happy to have DS. I love snuggling with him, I just wish it wasn't required all the time. I know I will miss the snuggle time when he's older, it's just hard sometimes to be needed ll the time.
 
01-04-2013 at 11:22 PM
laxkal23
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CJ is not a great sleeper flat on his back... He slept so much better when held or when in his carrier/cars seat. Now when he goes through spells of not wanting to be put down I put him to sleep in his car seat or if it's during the day I will wear him in my bjorn

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01-05-2013 at 4:05 AM
jg1011
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I don't have 2 children, but I can relate to wanting to get LO down to get things done!

The clingy thing is definitely a new "stage" they go through. My LO started it at 6 weeks and is still at it at 9 weeks. I know he has a need to be held, but I have a need to eat and go to the bathroom too! I found that he loves the Bjorn so I wear him a lot when I need to get things like laundry or cooking done. At 6 weeks I let him nap wherever he would sleep even for 10 minutes or so. Then I found that he liked his car seat. Naps were in there sometimes. Now at 9 weeks, we are trying to get him used to his crib. So I did a tough few days of putting him down and just soothing him when he cried. It took two days, but he now sleeps in his crib (although much better at night than for naps). 

My LO's reflux also reared it's ugly head at 6 weeks, so putting him down was made even worse bc we found he couldn't be flat and had to be upright for 30 min after bottle too. This gave me even less time to get stuff done between feedings. The Bjorn was a lifesaver. When you are putting him down, is he slightly elevated (in a rock n play or swing or car seat? That might help too.

good luck! 


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01-05-2013 at 7:50 AM
FairyDuste...
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Pink253:
I know how stressful that can b. have u tried a baby carrier or moby wrap? I just purchased a moby wrap and my baby loves it! Plus it gives me the freedom to still b able to get aroun and do things. nbsp;Hang in there mama.....it all takes a little bit of adjustmentadjustment



I second the moby wrap!! My step dads daughter had the same problem with her baby. We think it was because after her emergency c section they put him in the nursery and he was crying and screaming and NOT A SINGLE NURSE PICKED HIM UP!!! Freshly born with only a diaper and totally ignored, left alone in the nursery for almost an hour! So now, he's a super clingy baby and literally cannot be put down. My mom made her a moby wrap and she almost cried the first day after 2 months of non stop baby holding!! He went right to sleep and she got everything done with him snug on her chest!

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01-05-2013 at 9:31 AM
kdg31684
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DD likes to be held all the time as well.  She'll be sleeping so well and the moment I lay her down she wakes up and cries.   I relate to the crying nonstop in the evening.  She does this as well.  We joke that she goes into a feeding frenzy because she's fussy and eats nonstop in the evening.  I also have a 3 yr old and it's hard because he wants to play and it's really hard to play with a baby in your arms.  If you have anyone nearby, use them for a break.  I call my MIL sometimes for an hour or 3 alone when DH is on call and has to stay over at work.  Those couple hours of quiet alone helps relax me.  Or sometimes she takes DS so they can have one on one play.  I still have take my hair out moments because both of them are crying or I'm trying to get him to take a nap and she's being fussy.  I totally relate.


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01-05-2013 at 10:13 AM
LSU628
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Oh girl I feel your pain! DS is very clingy and definitely sleeps better upright on my chest. I've had some success putting him in the sling or in the Bjorn (I bought it used at a consignment in case it didn't work I wouldn't be out a ton of $). I feel like I am constantly telling DD- just a second, hang on, I'm feeding your brother, no you can't get up on me right now and I feel serious mommy guilt. Have you asked your pedi about possible reflux? Ditto pp that if he seems to do better upright, try letting him hang out in his carseat or a bouncy seat where he is in an upright position. GL, hugs, and know that you aren't alone!

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01-05-2013 at 1:05 PM
TiaS16
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My son is almost 3 weeks and just started the clingy thing, I'm blaming part of it on the holiday. He was born a week before Christmas and with all the friends and family that visited during the holiday, the baby was hardly ever put down. Mainly because DH and I knew if we put him down somebody would pick him up...and I didn't trust their germs. Everyone FINALLY left on Wednesday!

I'm blaming the other part of it on a growth spurt as he keeps stretching and suddenly really likes having the little muscles in his legs rubbed. 

He also started the screaming thing 3 evenings ago...last night I learned that skin-to-skin contact soothes him. It's been snowing and cold for a few days and I've been wearing t-shirts & hoodies, where before that I had been wearing tank tops. 

My husband gets frustrated and doesn't understand that yes, we have tried everything, now we try everything again until we figure out what he wants or we think of something else to try. Add in my post partum hormones and it gets a little crazy around here when we can't calm the baby.

 


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01-05-2013 at 5:54 PM
JMPrice
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I don't have two kids full time but we have 4 week old together and a 7 yr old from my husband's first marriage. Luckily the 7 year old can amuse himself or at least understands that I need to help the baby and then do whatever he needs. I can relate to the clinging, DD started about a week ago with wanting to be held constantly. I've done some research online and apparently this is normal, here's the link to a great article:

http://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/

I started going for walks with DD either in the Ergo or in her stroller in the early afternoon right before the fussy period. I also play soft music for her while she naps in the Rock-n-play. I'm not sure if it's the fresh air and stimulation or the music but I've noticed a HUGE difference today. I try to wear her in the mornings/afternoon or carry her as much as I can. It's not easy but I can't just let her cry, I just don't have it in me!


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01-05-2013 at 6:42 PM
diana.fili...
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For me the first 4 months were pretty rough.  I didn't think DS had colic at the time but he sure was fussy.  He cried a lot and it was tough.  I was able to get naps out of him though.  I swaddled and put him in our dark room with a sound machine on.  I tried really hard to give DD some time while he was down.  It was just tough.

It's pretty great now.  Except for being exasperating sometimes to go do things like the playground or the pool DS naps every day for about 2 hours and that makes up for the fact that DD has ceased to nap.  I make her do 'quiet time'.  I expect 3 to be pretty tough too!


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01-06-2013 at 1:46 PM
pb_bride
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I'm sorry you're going through this and I just want to tell you that you're not alone.  DS is 8.5 wks and he's been exactly like you described for the past week.  I only have 1 child so I can't imagine how you feel with another child who needs you.  And I'm sorry that your husband isn't more supportive.

I really hope this is a phase for both our LOs and they will soon grow out of it.  I have been crying every day for the last week when DS cries and I can't seem to console him.  I think my DS may have excessive gas so I just bought gripe water and will give it a try (we tried gas drops last week which didn't work).   


Me:39 DH:40 TTC since 10/2008
RE consult 6/2010 Dx:Unexplaied IF
Multiple failed cycles of Clomid+TI and Clomid+IUI
3/2011 inj+IUI #1 BFP. 4/2011 missed m/c. D&C w/Path: partial molar preg. 6 mo break
Fall 2011 inj+IUI #2&3 BFN
Jan/Feb 2012 IVF#1 ER 2/8 ET 2/13 2 blasts (1 snowbaby) BFP 2/23
EDD 10/31/2012 ~~~ Halloween ~~~

Our IVF miracle, Baby Boy M, arrived on 11/8/2012!

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