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01-04-2013 at 10:17 PM
ImaniJ55
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ImaniJ55 is not online. Last active: 05-01-2013, 9:34 AMNewbie

Host issue

I'm typing off my iPhone do pleae excuse me if I have any typos.

I was offered a shower by my sister and I decided to buy a gift for her for hosting it and getting everything together. Well today I found out that my mother actually did EVERYTHING paid for food, bought decorations, invites, favors, etc. I also found out that my sister tried to change the date of my shower because she wanted to do something else that day. mom said no, that's rude and tacky especially since she tried to move it 5 days ago. I found all of this out today and my shower is tomorrow. My question is this: would I be wrong if I give the hostess gift to my mom? In my eyes she deserves it all but it would embarrass my sister, because I'm pretty sure the guests think she's the host too.

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01-04-2013 at 10:24 PM
foxyroxy
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Give the gift to you sister. While I agree it would feel better to give it to your mom (who clearly is more deserving), I think the classier, high road move is to give it to sis. Then make sure you thank your mother like crazy. Besides, I am sure your mom wouldn't want to be caught in the middle of hostess gift drama.
01-04-2013 at 10:25 PM
cinderin
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I wouldn't give your sister the gift. 

I wouldn't give your mom the gift in front of your sister or any of the guests.

I would wait until you had a moment with your mom and give her the gift and a thank you card. 


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01-04-2013 at 10:29 PM
milkergirl...
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cinderin:

I wouldn't give your mom the gift in front of your sister or any of the guests.

I would wait until you had a moment with your mom and give her the gift and a thank you card. 

This.  And if your sister does end up helping a bunch during the shower, you could get her a little something after the fact, or just write a thank you card.  If you don't thank her at all, she might be offended if in her eyes she still thinks she planned it instead of your mom. 


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01-05-2013 at 2:05 AM
achelray4
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I'd say your mom deserves it. But you could still give your sister a little something to be nice.
01-05-2013 at 7:20 AM
littleredf...
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Personally I would thank my sister at the shower (make a little toast or whatever) but save the gift and thank-you card for mom after. Your sister did nothing so she doesn't deserve a gift for all the work. We don't know your sister though, maybe she is typically like this, in which case maybe it's the thought that counts and you should have seen this coming?

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01-05-2013 at 9:58 AM
ImaniJ55
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littleredfish:
Personally I would thank my sister at the shower make a little toast or whatever but save the gift and thankyou card for mom after. Your sister did nothing so she doesn't deserve a gift for all the work. We don't know your sister though, maybenbsp;she is typically like this, in which case maybe it's the thought that counts and you should have seen this coming?


Nope this was really unexpected. She is really good for parties and get togethers. So when I found out, I was really surprised. Especially when I found out she tried to move it.

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01-05-2013 at 11:48 AM
rhubarb123
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I agree with most of the others.  Save the gift and a card for your mom and give it to her after (maybe take her to lunch or whatever).  You can still do a toast to your sister and even give her a small gift and card as well...but I wouldn't go overboard.  I would get her a gift because she hopefully will be actually hosting the shower once it starts. 

 
01-05-2013 at 10:18 PM
tilsonc
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What did you get? Most hosts gifts aren't huge. I would stay out of the drama and get them both something. You don't need the extra stress, ect during your shower or before baby comes.

 
01-05-2013 at 11:10 PM
ImaniJ55
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This is an update.
Today I spoke with my sister and I was straight forward with my concerns. I didn't tell her about the gift lol. I told her that she needed to help with this shower especially since she's the one who offered it. And how it wasn't fair that our mom was doing everything. So she straightened up the house, put up all the decorations, cooked the food, and hosted : so I gave her the hostess gift and she loved it. I also surprised my mom with a free medi/pedi, facial and massage at a chocolate spa :. So today went very well and I wish I can upload some pictures..

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01-05-2013 at 11:11 PM
ImaniJ55
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ImaniJ55 is not online. Last active: 05-01-2013, 9:34 AMNewbie
Sorry, my iPhone types soooo wrong on this app.

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