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01-04-2013 at 10:37 PM
lisa5201
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Tactful way to tell a friend not to use a you-nique spelling?

Good friend just revealed to me her baby name

Emelia

 Not bad

Except her husband wants to spell it:

Emylya

Absurd, doesn't even look like a name. She was just telling me, not asking my opinion. Tell her that it looks like my keyboard threw up, or keep quiet? 

 


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01-04-2013 at 10:39 PM
nyki06
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My opinion is that you don't. If she's not asking for opinions then I don't think you have the right to be the nosy friend who tells their friend what to name their child. 

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01-04-2013 at 10:57 PM
llewzier
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Depends on how good of a friend. 

I'd hint at how bad it is or say something like "If you go with the unique spelling, she is going to have to correct people on the spelling her whole life" 

This is a time I would have a hard time holding my tongue.  


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01-04-2013 at 11:14 PM
austenread...
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If a good friend I might try some thinly veiled criticism/comment like:  "Oh that's interesting.  I've seen so many people adding y's to names to try to make it unique" hoping she'd pick up on the "try" and recognize that it's still Emilia.

Or if she's a really good friend you could just be honest.  I can really only think of maybe 2 people I could do that to though. 

Oh, I just realized that you said her husband wanted it.  You could say something like "Oh, I totally agree with you, Emilia is much better!"  Even if she then says "Oh, but I didn't say I preferred it" the awkward thing would be more on her end for backing a ridiculous spelling.

Yes, I have hypothetical conversations in my head all the time.


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01-05-2013 at 12:42 AM
MelsaX
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Me, personally, I would totally tell her she was being an idiot and to spell it properly. But that's why no one would ask me an opinion on a name, because they know I'm honest. I would expect people to do the same with me.

BUT, if you're not that type of person, I would just let it go. Not your kid.


 
01-05-2013 at 6:15 AM
wcvsb3b5
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Keep quiet. If she didn't ask for your opinion then she probably doesn't want it.

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01-05-2013 at 6:33 AM
nlscroggin...
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I'm not sure that I would be able to hold my tongue on that one. it's really bad. but... she didn't ask for opinions so I guess she's ok with everyone spelling her daughter's name wrong her whole life. two Y replacements?? really? ugh.



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01-05-2013 at 6:47 AM
plunderb
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To be tactful, say nothing.

To be straightforward, simply tell her that you worry that this pretty name will cause difficulties because of its spelling.

To be passive aggressive, send her cards and emails that consistently spell the name wrong.
01-05-2013 at 6:55 AM
bdawn8403
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If she didn't ask for your opinion don't give it to her. Its not really any of your business what they name their child or how they spell it.

 
01-05-2013 at 7:06 AM
Guillerma
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wcvsb3b5:
Keep quiet. If she didn't ask for your opinion then she probably doesn't want it.


This. There's no tactful way to give someone your opinion on their baby name unless they asked you for your opinion.


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01-05-2013 at 7:56 AM
Thankful01...
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If its not a super close friend , I am a terrible for saying this, but I would always mispronounce the name no matter how many times she corrects you. Instead of saying Emelia I would always say Emmie-Lia. To me that is how you would prounouce Emylya.

If it is a close friend just be straightforward in a polite way. You could say something like you and her will ALWAYS be correcting other people.  


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01-05-2013 at 8:24 AM
MrsJ723
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plunderb:
To be tactful, say nothing. To be straightforward, simply tell her that you worry that this pretty name will cause difficulties because of its spelling. To be passive aggressive, send her cards and emails that consistently spell the name wrong.

Yes


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01-05-2013 at 8:48 AM
beaner123
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I would say something. Think of what this child is going to go through! I said something to one of my friends. She wanted to name her son Karson. I told her to spell it with C not a K, it will be easier for him growing up (and looks way better!).
 
01-05-2013 at 9:18 AM
sugar212
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I am trying to figure out a way to tell my sister the same thing. she wants to name her little girl Mayly and I love the name, but the -yly looks funny. (name is pronounced may-lee). The original spelling of this name is Mayley but she told me the e seems unnecessary. umm...it makes the e sound which is how the name is pronounced. she is stubborn and I am sure the dad doesn't care. 
 
01-05-2013 at 10:36 AM
g8trkim
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llewzier:

Depends on how good of a friend. 

I'd hint at how bad it is or say something like "If you go with the unique spelling, she is going to have to correct people on the spelling her whole life" 

This is a time I would have a hard time holding my tongue.  

This.


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01-05-2013 at 11:09 AM
asiabutter...
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This made me laugh. How do you pronounce your DD's name?

 
01-05-2013 at 11:35 AM
buggybear8...
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asiabutterfly:
This made me laugh. How do you pronounce your DD's name?

This is exactly what I thought.  It seems that you also used a you-nique spelling.  How would you have felt if someone (or this particular friend) had said that about your child's name choice?


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01-05-2013 at 12:12 PM
lisa5201
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buggybear87:

asiabutterfly:
This made me laugh. How do you pronounce your DD's name?

This is exactly what I thought.  It seems that you also used a you-nique spelling.  How would you have felt if someone (or this particular friend) had said that about your child's name choice?

Seriously, you wouldn't at least Google it before assuming I spelled my kids name wrong?

Schuyler is a traditional Dutch name. It is an uncommon name but it is certainly spelled correctly. We had a vice president named Schuyler Colfax, and it is a common surname. The you-nique americanized versions of the name are Skyler or Skylar, but these are recent invented names. The name Schuyler is the original, and was choosen to honor my family's heritage


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01-05-2013 at 12:18 PM
buggybear8...
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I don't think you can spell a name "wrong" unless it is different than the way the parents spell it.  I'm sorry if you were offended by my comment and I think it's great that you were honoring your family.  But would you expect anyone to google Emylya (or any other name spelled differently) when there is a "typical" way to spell it?

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01-05-2013 at 12:24 PM
lisa5201
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Thanks all for your reply's

I think I might try to work in a comment to my friend if possible. She is a smart classy lady and I think that spelling suggests the opposite! Problem is, I guess as PP's pointed out, my DD's name can be difficult to spell/pronounce, though I did the exact opposite of a you-nique spelling, it's hard for me to make an argument about spelling or pronunciation! 


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01-05-2013 at 12:26 PM
FrecklesIn...
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buggybear87:

asiabutterfly:
This made me laugh. How do you pronounce your DD's name?

This is exactly what I thought.  It seems that you also used a you-nique spelling.  How would you have felt if someone (or this particular friend) had said that about your child's name choice?

Eeek! Bad assumption! Emilia is the proper spelling of a traditional name just like Schuyler is the proper spelling of a traditional name.  

OP - the spelling of the name is pretty bad, and I think that PPs are right that if she didn't ask for an opinion it isn't really your place...but honestly, depending on how well I know the person, I might say something, just very carefully.  


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01-05-2013 at 12:39 PM
lisa5201
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buggybear87:
I don't think you can spell a name "wrong" unless it is different than the way the parents spell it.  I'm sorry if you were offended by my comment and I think it's great that you were honoring your family.  But would you expect anyone to google Emylya (or any other name spelled differently) when there is a "typical" way to spell it?

Not offended, I just personally would have looked up a name I didn't know before assuming it was made up.  It shocks me a little when people don't do this, there are lots of ethnic and uncommon names out there that are totally legit, you just may not have heard of them

I think taking a name and adding/subtracting or replacing letters is the definition of spelling it wrong, even if it's on the birth certificate. I would look pretty ignorant if I spelled regular words incorrectly, and I think people look pretty ignorant when they spell names incorrectly. I wouldn't expect anyone to Google Emylya and come up with anything validating it as a real name because it's not, it's a ridiculous made-up version of the name Emelia

 


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01-05-2013 at 2:08 PM
starshinea...
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If it were me, I'd say something, because that's the kind of person that I am, and my friends/family know to expect that from me. Now is the time, before the baby is born and before the birth certificate is filled out. There are plenty of ways to comment without being mean or harsh- you can start by saying that you love the name but have reservations about the spelling, or something like that. Or you can ask her straight up if she'd like your honest opinion about the name. Etc. 

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01-05-2013 at 2:14 PM
MommaG123
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If it was a close friend I would just straight up tell her it was bad.  But we're all candid with eachother like that.

If it's just kind of an aquaintance I wouldn't say anytihing.  Or say "oh, that's nice" with the weird emphasis on nice that makes it obvious you don't actually think it's nice just that you're being polite.


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01-06-2013 at 11:35 AM
AsOctoberF...
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Smack some sense into her and tell her it's terrible.

A friend posted on facebook that he was thinking of spelling his daughter's name "Jewe.liana", and everyone gave it to him straight.  They went with Julianna. 


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