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01-07-2013 at 9:12 AM
klar4230
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Denying being Pregnant

In the last few weeks a few people have asked if we are expecting...we obviously are but haven't told our families yet (waiting until our ultrasound because I'm paranoid) so we are obviously saying no we're not....I feel really bad doing that! Anyone else feel/felt like that?
 
01-07-2013 at 9:15 AM
SamLiv
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Yes and I ended up saying "I don't know." In reality you don't truly know until you see it in there. :
 
01-07-2013 at 9:16 AM
SamLiv
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Yes and I ended up saying "I don't know." In reality you don't truly know until you see it in there. :)
 
01-07-2013 at 9:17 AM
Ladydianna
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yes.  My mom is going to be upset. w/ dd2 we waited until our 1st appointment to tell anyone and we are doing that this time around too.  She was NOT happy last time.  But Mike and I like sharing the very begining with just ourselves.

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01-07-2013 at 9:33 AM
twolittlew...
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Yes, and more than once.  I don't feel the least bit guilty either.

DS born 1-24-2010 DD born 7-8-2011 #3 9-1-13

 
01-07-2013 at 9:35 AM
homebird
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No, I didn't feel bad lying about it. It's kind of rude (imo) that people would ask something like that.

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01-07-2013 at 9:35 AM
smilormari...
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I plan to say, "I sure hope so! That would be nice because we've struggled for the past year of trying."  That should sort of answer the question, not lie, and get the person to feel somewhat awkward enough that maybe they'll think twice about asking that invasive, somewhat inappropriate question ever again.  :-)


Our little lightbulb is on the way!

TTC since Oct 2011
Me: 33, hypothyroidism since 14, cleared all HSG, US, Pre-pregnancy panel tests.
Hubby: 36, testicular Ca, chemo April-May 2012.
Natural cycle IUI #1 with trigger and Progesterone Suppositories (Jun 2012) Neg
Natural Cycle IUI #2 with trigger and Progesterone Suppositories (Jul 2012) NEG
Aug 2012 - break due to needing a girls' weekend in Cape Cod
Natural Cycle IUI #3 with trigger and prednisone (Sep 2012) NEGATIVE
Switched fertility clinics - forced break Oct 2012
Natural Cycle IUI #4 (Nov 2012) no trigger, no progesterone, no prednisone (Nov 2012) - Neg
1st round Clomid Cycle IUI #5 (Dec 2012) - POS
 
01-07-2013 at 9:48 AM
dande2129
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With both pregnancies, if someone asked before I was ready to tell them, I would dodge the question by saying something like, "Is that your way of telling me I have gained weight?" Either way, if I were to lie, I would not feel guilty. You are not obligated to tell anyone and it is rude of them to ask.

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01-07-2013 at 9:52 AM
megemoney
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I think it is rude people are asking. My response would be something like, "If I am/were and haven't shared with you yet, do you think I am going to share now?"  Or, "If I am, I obviously haven't shared the news yet."  Then comment about how thankful I am that they butted into my personal life. 

Began TTC #1 in January 2011
Confirmation and Removal of Endo - March 2012
+#1 on 4/1/12 - m/c @ ~8w 5d
+#2 Tx cycle 4 - 5 mg Letrozole + 75iu Follsitim & Ovidrel w/ IUI on 11/13/12 - EDD 7/23/13
7 week u/s revealed THREE babies, all with heartbeats. 153bpm, 148bpm, and 136bpm
9 week u/s revealed loss of Baby B. A and C are growing on track. A measuring 9w1d with 172bpm and C measuring 9w0d with 179 bpm.
Elective sex determination u/s on 2/8 revealed... boy AND girl!
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01-07-2013 at 9:56 AM
magdalina....
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My mom is the only one who questioned me because I'm not drinking. I just said I'm trying to get a good boost this year for my continued weight loss.
01-07-2013 at 10:00 AM
kestock120
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No one has outright asked me if I am yet, but I would lie if they did and not feel guilty about it.  In my opinion it's not their business if I am or not.
01-07-2013 at 10:08 AM
bdawn8403
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No. I have a problem lying so if someone outright asks me I just tell them. Our close families know but apparently my sudden happiness has tipped off others who are all telling everyone but no one is confirming it with me haha

 
01-07-2013 at 10:44 AM
khays8785
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homebird:
No, I didn't feel bad lying about it. It's kind of rude (imo) that people would ask something like that.

yup this - I have a few rude people at my work that barge in after christmas break, once asked "Are you pregnant yet?!"

I did not feel bad at all lying to her face.


TTC since May 2011
BFP#1 3.19.12 - mmc - d&c 5.16.12
BFP#2 11.12.12 - EDD 07.25.13 <3
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01-07-2013 at 10:56 AM
Dulcez1023
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Ugh. I am bad at it...and after going from never turning down a social drink to complete teetotaler I've had several people ask me outright. Thankfully I haven't had anyone I don't trust ask because I have no poker face and always end up telling. I'm just too excited! 

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01-07-2013 at 11:07 AM
dreadiemam...
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I usually just ask the question right back, regardless of gender. It makes for a funny reaction.

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01-07-2013 at 11:17 AM
Bamgal25
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No one has outright asked me yet, but I am paranoid that they are going to and that I will panic and tell them.  I am not a good liar- no poker face and I feel guilty.  I am very early and I really don't want anyone to know at this point.  However, several of my friends know we are trying so I expect to be asked how it's going at some point.  Actually, a co-worker already asked if "we were in full swing" with trying.  I said "I suppose so" and then she kept quizzing me!  I know there is no way I will make it to 12 weeks without telling people... I am just hoping to make it to 8 weeks.  I also hope I won't be too sick in the coming weeks and give it away.  Good luck in giving evasive answers!

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01-07-2013 at 11:18 AM
stephweins...
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klar4230:
In the last few weeks a few people have asked if we are expecting...we obviously are but haven't told our families yet (waiting until our ultrasound because I'm paranoid) so we are obviously saying no we're not....I feel really bad doing that! Anyone else feel/felt like that?
I feel exactly that way but I NEVER lie about it. I feel like it's bad karma to say I'm not pregnant.

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01-07-2013 at 11:31 AM
KaramelSut...
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People who knew we were cycling have asked. And those are my close friends. So I've told them yes. Anyone else, I feel guilty lying to, like I'm going to jinx myself into not being pregnant anymore :(

The Mob Boss
Birth: 10lbs 11oz, 21.5 inches <> 1 mo: 14lbs 7oz, 23.5 inches
2mo: 18lbs 15oz, 25.5 inches <> 4mo: 26lbs 8oz, 27.5 inches
6mo: 29lbs 8oz, 30 inches <> 9mo: 32lbs, 32 inches
12 mo: 37lbs, 34.5 inches <> 15 mo: 38lbs 6 oz, 36 inches. 20.5 inch noggin
18 mo: 43lbs, 37.75 inches 21 inch head
2yr: 47 lbs, 42 inches. 21.5 inch head. Woah.

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01-07-2013 at 12:17 PM
Mrs.Handy
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I'm a terrible liar. I would probably never be able to lie about it.

Although my parents almost outed me when I posted something about the Royal Baby on facebook, I deflected it successfully. For some reason, they interpreted my excitement of the royal baby as me saying I was pregnant. It was over the phone. I didn't want to spoil the surprise since we were planning on telling them over the holidays.




Off to the beach

DS 7/18/2010
Handy 2.0 Due Early August

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01-07-2013 at 12:22 PM
1026pumpki...
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We had this happen a lot with DS#1, and I felt a little bad, but as soon as we were ready to announce, I went back and told all of the people that had asked and let them know that we just weren't ready to share yet....we all got a good laugh out of it and nobody was upset.  I think people can understand not being ready to share until you've gotten through the first trimester.

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01-07-2013 at 12:23 PM
Erinm278
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My position on this is that it is none of their business.  I actually think it is rude to ask someone if they're pregnant.  If I wanted you to know, I would tell you!  I lied to all of my family, DH's family, and my friends during the 1st tri and I didn't feel bad about it because they shouldn't have been asking.  When we finally told everyone no one was upset.

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01-07-2013 at 12:34 PM
missmuffin...
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No one has asked me if I am pg, but a lot of friends, family, and acquaintances ask "when are you going to have a other?" I just say "I don't know, not today." It's not a lie and it's a lighthearted way of brushing them off.

I think it's so weird when people ask questions like that. Like do they really expect that you are going to share all the details of your TTC plans with them. 


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01-07-2013 at 1:08 PM
sugarellie
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No one has directly asked if I was pregnant yet, but SO and I did have to do some creative drink switching last night at a family dinner. My family all drinks and prior to being KU I would always enjoy a glass of wine or two when I was around them, so I know if I was not drinking they would think something was up for sure. They would never ask directly but I want them all to be surprised when we do tell. So I got a glass of wine and water, and when no one was looking SO would take sips of my wine so it looked like I was drinking.. haha


BFP#1.11/2/12-EDD 7/16/13-M/C.11/6/12

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01-07-2013 at 1:24 PM
TurtleMomm...
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For a while, my MIL would call the DH every week to ask if we were pregnant yet. I finally sat her down and told her to back the F off. The next week we found out we were preggo, lol.

As for lying to people, I am guilty. The hubby and I were concerned for a while that we were having fertility problems so we made an appt with an OB. I talked about it to a few of my close friends because I was scared. Well, 5d before the appt we found out about being pregnant so I called and rescheduled for an 8w. Well, a few days after the original appointment date, my friends called to ask how everything went. I did the only thing I could think of: LIE! And lie I did, lol. I told them that I was waiting on blood work, but that some of the tests were only run 2x a month by the lab (some labs DO only run certain tests on certain days of the month due to costs and time requirements) and that, because of the holidays, timing would get really screwed up. No idea when I would be getting results. I know when I do tell them, they will understand. I feel like a total troll, lol.

EDIT: If people just randomly ask me, I do think I will probably lie and be snarky about it. Even before being preggo, it bothered me that people would ask each other that.

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01-07-2013 at 1:42 PM
luciddream...
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No one's asked me the question. I wouldn't feel bad lying to them since they don't feel bad about asking a rude and invasive question. I don't understand what goes through their heads. If you haven't announced it, you're not ready to tell.


Me: 29, DH 30, TTC #1 since March 2011
BFP #1:8/3/12~~EDD 4/16/13~~2 Gestational sacs found~~Blighted ovum~~Cytotec on 9/18/12
BFP #2:12/21/12~~EDD 9/3/13~~MMC confirmed 2/13/13
Current status: TTA until after polypectomy on 6/17/13
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01-07-2013 at 1:52 PM
kellieann5
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People are definitely asking me.  I think it's the not drinking that gives me away!  My job requires a lot of dinners, lunches, and social events where everyone pretty much always has a cocktail in hand.  I try to be suave with the 'soda water with a splash of cranberry' but it seems like a lots of places are putting it in different glasses so it is SO obvious.  It's how I got outed last pregnancy too. I think it's horribly rude and I never ask anyone- but I know everyone talks about whoever in the office isn't 'drinking' afterward. 


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01-07-2013 at 4:35 PM
jbuhl1222
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I don't feel bad about it, but am not good at lying....I have a terrible poker face.  I especially don't want work to know....until I'm ready and those are the people who keep asking.  Irritating and yeah, totally rude.  I keep saying "I hope so soon." 

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01-07-2013 at 5:20 PM
Robi1
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I went to my parents' church on Christmas Eve, and got the "do you have any important news to share??" questions from many family friends, acquaintances, etc. They've been asking this every time I visit since we were engaged. I had no qualms about lying to their faces.

Do people seriously think that you were just standing around waiting for them to ask? I find this so incredibly rude - the assumption that they deserve to know before you're ready to tell. I know they mostly mean well and are excited, but have some tact, seriously. 

01-07-2013 at 8:38 PM
LoriMc12
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No one has asked if I am pregnant but many people have asked when we will start trying.  DH and I just got married in October and I am 34/DH is 37.  I tell them that we will start working on it after our honeymoon in April.  It feels funny not admitting that I am pregnant now but I don't want to share the news yet.

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Missing our September Sunflower
BFP 12/23/12: EDD 9/01/13: MMC 1/31/13, baby stopped growing at 8w2d. D&C 2/01/13 
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