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01-07-2013 at 2:47 PM
PeanutR1
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Opening gifts from non- invitees?

Ok, I will try to explain in the shortest, least confusing way... My MIL has 3 sisters. One of them is more than a little dramatic.  We will call her #4 (she's the baby of the 4). So after years of drama with #4, MIL and 1 other sister just cut off contact. That leaves 1 sister still in contact with #4.  So when MIL gave me her list of family for my shower, I was not surprised to see she invited her 2 sisters, but not #4.  No big deal, moving on. 

 

Cut to today, I receive a package with 3 wrapped gifts from the store where we registered, and a note: PeanutR1 and DH - my thoughts and prayers are always with you. Love, Aunt #4

Just through deductive reasoning, we know which Aunt must have told her about the shower and registry.  That aunt WILL be at the shower. My H says that we should just open the gifts on our own, and it's his family drama, so I'm going with whatever he wants to do. However, in the broader picture, what is the "correct" thing to do with gifts from people who were not invited to the shower?  Save them for the shower, or just open them on your own? 
 
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01-07-2013 at 2:55 PM
milkergirl...
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I've recieved a few gifts already, one from a male co-worker obviously not invited to the shower and one from a person invited to the shower that can't make it.  I have opened both and sent thank you cards already.  I would open it now and send her a thank you card.   
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01-07-2013 at 2:55 PM
Darbie914
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Opening them at the shower may just cause some people to ask questions, ie "Where is so and so?" especially if they don't know the whole story with #4.  

 I would open them at home and send a nice thank you card. 
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01-07-2013 at 2:56 PM
ohlordy
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Open it on your own and then send a thank-you note in the mail. No sense in lugging unopened gifts to a shower just to take them back home, especially if the gift-giver won't even be there to see you open it.
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01-07-2013 at 3:03 PM
PeanutR1
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ohlordy:
Open it on your own and then send a thank-you note in the mail. No sense in lugging unopened gifts to a shower just to take them back home, especially if the gift-giver won't even be there to see you open it.

Oh, thats something I didn't mention - the shower is at my house, so I wouldn't have to take anywhere. I'm NOT hosting my own shower :). My 2 hostesses live far away, are flying in, and I live halfway between my family and my H's family in major city where airport is. 

But it sounds like there may already be consensus. Thanks :). I think we'll open them and just display with other baby stuff in Nursery (which ppl will be checking out at shower) 
 
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01-07-2013 at 3:08 PM
Estwd2
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Regardless of whether or not someone is coming to the shower, you should open all gifts sent to your house and immediately send a thank you. This way, they won't be sitting around wondering whether or not you received it. The only reason you would wait to open them is if someone specifically asks you ahead of time to save it for the shower.
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01-07-2013 at 3:10 PM
FemShep
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Agree with all PPs-open and send a gracious TY note immediately.  That way, if anyone tries to stir up drama with #4, she'll have a lovely note from you and will know that your gift was received and appreciated.
 
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01-07-2013 at 3:20 PM
1026pumpki...
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Estwd2:
Regardless of whether or not someone is coming to the shower, you should open all gifts sent to your house and immediately send a thank you. This way, they won't be sitting around wondering whether or not you received it. The only reason you would wait to open them is if someone specifically asks you ahead of time to save it for the shower.

This!  If anyone brings up #4, you can just mention that she sent you a lovely gift. 
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01-07-2013 at 3:22 PM
EastCoastB...
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Estwd2:
Regardless of whether or not someone is coming to the shower, you should open all gifts sent to your house and immediately send a thank you. This way, they won't be sitting around wondering whether or not you received it. The only reason you would wait to open them is if someone specifically asks you ahead of time to save it for the shower.
This. There is no need to save gifts for a shower unless requested.

Also- there is nothing to say this is a "shower" gift.  You're having a baby, she wants to give you a gift.  no one needs permission (i.e. a shower) to give you a gift. 

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01-07-2013 at 4:49 PM
luvsdogs2
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Open it at home and send a thank you.  Why haul it to the shower only to drag it home, let alone the potential drama it might start between the Aunts.  Send your thank you and move on, MIL doesn't even need to know.
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01-07-2013 at 9:35 PM
ohlordy
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PeanutR1:

ohlordy:
Open it on your own and then send a thank-you note in the mail. No sense in lugging unopened gifts to a shower just to take them back home, especially if the gift-giver won't even be there to see you open it.

Oh, thats something I didn't mention - the shower is at my house, so I wouldn't have to take anywhere. I'm NOT hosting my own shower :). My 2 hostesses live far away, are flying in, and I live halfway between my family and my H's family in major city where airport is. 

But it sounds like there may already be consensus. Thanks :). I think we'll open them and just display with other baby stuff in Nursery (which ppl will be checking out at shower) 

Lucky you! That is so convenient to be able to have it hosted in your own house. Big Smile

I received a few baby gifts a couple of months back which I opened and promptly sent a thank-you note. 

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01-08-2013 at 9:11 AM
526SadieSa...
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Ignoring all the family backstory, my answer is this:  anything that is sent directly to your home can be opened right away and make sure to send a thank you note out within a week.

The family drama doesn't matter; she sent you a gift. you can open it and thank her for it as soon as you receive it.
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01-08-2013 at 10:27 AM
ggatlanta
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EastCoastBride:

Also- there is nothing to say this is a "shower" gift.  You're having a baby, she wants to give you a gift.  no one needs permission (i.e. a shower) to give you a gift. 

This. Open all gifts upon receipt, and send thank-you notes promptly. Same goes for early birthday gifts or late Christmas gifts or anything else - you don't wait for some special public occasion to open those, and this is no different.
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