But I am not going to apologize for "boring" him in labor. FFS, if he's bored he can take a turn pushing this baby out. "No, seriously honey, I don't mind letting you join the fun. I mean, I know it's hard to nap what with all this noise I'm making, so why don't you make yourself useful and push a couple times..." :)
This. My DH would actually be pretty offended if I apologized for boring him. With DD he was busy every second we were in labor. He only got a chance to run for some food because they kicked him out for 20 mins at one point for a procedure.
My advice would be snacks, the pillows and stuff for sleeping, toiletries, the Jack because it's a cute joke, and other things for comfort. I'd leave out the apologies and instead have the "baby" thank him for being such a great support for Mommy and me.