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01-09-2013 at 10:23 AM
DrDiega
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Question for the Oldies?

What was your experience in TB when you first joined?

Were people rude?

Make fun of newbies?

Tell you to lurk more before trying to join the conversation?

After lurking I've noticed a lot of newbie picking-ons. 

 
 
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01-09-2013 at 10:28 AM
nlscroggin...
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newbies *need* to lurk... if they actually did as much as they say they do, they would understand why people are "rude" and "make fun" of them for posting the same uneducated questions 100x a day. no one has ever been rude to me on here, and i'm sure i have asked/said some stupid stuff, but i also don't get butthurt when an internet stranger says something i don't agree with. seems like there are a lot of newbies these days that are very easily offended. 

me: 26 - DH: 29
ttc #1 since june 2012
-dx: PCOS & hypothyroidism-
-Dec '12-SA: normal & HSG: all clear-
-Jan '13- clomid 50mg = BFN-
-Feb '13- clomid 100mg = BFN-
-March '13- clomid 150mg = BFN- 
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01-09-2013 at 10:29 AM
CatahoulaM...
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Haha. When I first joined it was interesting.

People didn't 'make fun' of newbies, they flamed for ridiculous questions. This board is not google. This is a board of informed women, for the most part, and if someone (I have no idea who or what you are referring to) is treating the board like Dr.Google they get called out on it. It's a community you introduce yourself to and get to know the people and personalities in it. You lurk to get a feel of the board and decide if it is the place for you or not.

And the board now is much kinder and gentler as a whole now than it was a few years ago.

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01-09-2013 at 10:30 AM
gardennymp...
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Yes, all of the above.
People aren't "picked on" here. We are honest and don't want to be someone Google replacement.
You would look like an idiot if you jumped into a conversation you didn't know jack about IRL. Same applies here. We are here for intelligent conversation about TTC, educate yourself before jumping in.
I had a tenth grade teacher that once said, " I'll talk to you like an adult, when you can have an intelligent conversation." It holds true to anyone.
BabyFruit Ticker 
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01-09-2013 at 10:31 AM
CLECyclist
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1. I intro'd. I realize now that's kind of annoying.

2. Not rude, snarky. There's a difference.

3. Made fun of? No. Again, snarked newbies who didn't bother to try and help themselves a little with some research before they asked a question. You asked a dumb question, you got snarked.

I think you're confusing rudeness and being picked on with someone getting a snarky response for something they said. Most of the time, it's warranted. This isn't a puppies and butt fluff board.

PS: This board doesn't need another white knight. We're full up, in case that's what you were applying for with this post!

TTC since October 2011.
DX with Non-IR PCOS in October 2012.
Missing RIGHT tube due to a prior surgery to remove cyst-zilla (40 lbs!) at age 12.
HSG showed tube was blocked - cleared by dye. DON'T DO CLOMID WITHOUT AN HSG!
Cycle #8 with 50mg Clomid & TI = BFN
Cycle #9 with 50mg Clomid & TI = No response.
Cycle #10 with Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel shot = BFN
Cycles #11 & 12 are unmedicated (No temping/testing/charting) 
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01-09-2013 at 10:32 AM
MeatandBan...
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I am not an oldie, but lurked for about 3 months before I started posting. I have yet to be flamed. I think the newbies that get flammed or picked-on, as you say, come on asking ridiculous questions or never lurked to get a feel for the board to see how it operates. By lurking you know what gets flammed what doesnt. And you learn most of the silly questions that are not worth asking.

 If you would have lurked like you say you did, you would have realized this post will probably not go over well .
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01-09-2013 at 10:33 AM
madasm0530
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CLECyclist:

1. I intro'd. I realize now that's kind of annoying.

2. Not rude, snarky. There's a difference.

3. Made fun of? No. Again, snarked newbies who didn't bother to try and help themselves a little with some research before they asked a question. You asked a dumb question, you got snarked.

I think you're confusing rudeness and being picked on with someone getting a snarky response for something they said. Most of the time, it's warranted. This isn't a puppies and butt fluff board.

I am not an oldie but I'm not a newbie: 

I also intro'd and it's very annoying!

Newbies should lurk and figure out the lay of the land, so to speak before diving in. Sometimes questions are stupid.. I asked one today! 

You will find that the snark you find on this board is necessary during this process. It adds humor and fun and if you can't take it than maybe you should go to babygaga. 

ETA: when i say 'you' I don't necessarily mean OP. 
DH & I married 5/2009 :: DX with PCOS 7/2009
TTC since jan'12
bloggy blog blog


cycle 3: bfp, edd 5/16/13. mc at 7w4d.
cycle 6: break cycle
cycle 7: break cycle because of a dumb big cyst.
cycle 8: ??? 
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01-09-2013 at 10:33 AM
katyj25
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What was your experience in TB when you first joined? Same as it is now.

Were people rude? Nope, just honest with the right amount of snark.

Make fun of newbies? Nope, see previous.

Tell you to lurk more before trying to join the conversation? This has always been the norm and should be done.

After lurking I've noticed a lot of newbie picking-ons. Not true. Honest well thought out answers get a real response. Dumb questions will get a dumb and snarky response. It has always been like this and no one will change the tone of the board.


*3 and a half years, 1 failed Clomid/TI cycle, 2 failed Femara/TI cycles, 2 failed IUIs.
*3/22 Surprise BFP! EDD 12/2/13!
Beta #1 @ 11dpo 27.5, beta #2 @ 14dpo 174.4!!!!!!!!
 
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01-09-2013 at 10:34 AM
DrDiega
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nlscroggins:
newbies *need* to lurk... if they actually did as much as they say they do, they would understand why people are "rude" and "make fun" of them for posting the same uneducated questions 100x a day. no one has ever been rude to me on here, and i'm sure i have asked/said some stupid stuff, but i also don't get butthurt when an internet stranger says something i don't agree with. seems like there are a lot of newbies these days that are very easily offended. 

You actually seem like a really nice one!

 
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01-09-2013 at 10:34 AM
SCSmith201...
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It was great. I lurked and learned a lot before I started posting.

No one was rude. People here are snarky. Sometimes it's not well placed but I find the butthurt newbies actually get rude before any reg does.

I don't see where anyone is making fun of newbies.

And I'll just co-sign everything else the CLE said because she's awesome and on point. ;-)
TTC since August 2011, Me = 39, DH = 37. CD 3 bloodwork: Normal, HSG 3/29/12: tubes clear, DH's SA 3/29/12: Everything normal. Unexplained IF. Tried Clomid for 3 cycles. All BFNs.BFP 1/6/13. Chemical pregnancy.
 
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01-09-2013 at 10:36 AM
DrDiega
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CLECyclist:

1. I intro'd. I realize now that's kind of annoying.

2. Not rude, snarky. There's a difference.

3. Made fun of? No. Again, snarked newbies who didn't bother to try and help themselves a little with some research before they asked a question. You asked a dumb question, you got snarked.

I think you're confusing rudeness and being picked on with someone getting a snarky response for something they said. Most of the time, it's warranted. This isn't a puppies and butt fluff board.

PS: This board doesn't need another white knight. We're full up, in case that's what you were applying for with this post!

That's what I mean! What is wrong with being nice and helping each other? I saw a thread where people were complaining about butt kissing? What would you need ot butt kiss strangers? Maybe some people are just nice.
 
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01-09-2013 at 10:39 AM
DrDiega
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I guess it just seems really cliquey and hard to get it. I compare it to the sperm race. Out of the thousands of people on here only a few get to be the "cool kids"

 
 
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01-09-2013 at 10:40 AM
madasm0530
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DrDiega:
CLECyclist:

1. I intro'd. I realize now that's kind of annoying.

2. Not rude, snarky. There's a difference.

3. Made fun of? No. Again, snarked newbies who didn't bother to try and help themselves a little with some research before they asked a question. You asked a dumb question, you got snarked.

I think you're confusing rudeness and being picked on with someone getting a snarky response for something they said. Most of the time, it's warranted. This isn't a puppies and butt fluff board.

PS: This board doesn't need another white knight. We're full up, in case that's what you were applying for with this post!

That's what I mean! What is wrong with being nice and helping each other? I saw a thread where people were complaining about butt kissing? What would you need to butt kiss strangers? Maybe some people are just nice.

a lot of booze? 
DH & I married 5/2009 :: DX with PCOS 7/2009
TTC since jan'12
bloggy blog blog


cycle 3: bfp, edd 5/16/13. mc at 7w4d.
cycle 6: break cycle
cycle 7: break cycle because of a dumb big cyst.
cycle 8: ??? 
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01-09-2013 at 10:40 AM
MeatandBan...
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DrDiega:

nlscroggins:
newbies *need* to lurk... if they actually did as much as they say they do, they would understand why people are "rude" and "make fun" of them for posting the same uneducated questions 100x a day. no one has ever been rude to me on here, and i'm sure i have asked/said some stupid stuff, but i also don't get butthurt when an internet stranger says something i don't agree with. seems like there are a lot of newbies these days that are very easily offended. 

You actually seem like a really nice one!

 If you think people are here are not nice, rude etc., why do you stay? I don't understand that. If I didn't like the feel of the board I would leave. I think babycenter may be better suited for you.  
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01-09-2013 at 10:40 AM
Mrs Castil...
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I joined TB when I found out I was pregnant with LO, there really aren't any board standards/ rules on other boards so I never had a problem jumping in and asking questions etc. 

I totally get why this board has rules though. If people did lurk, even for just 5 mins, you would see the same questions get asked 10 to 20x per hour. It's redundant and annoying, so I can see why the regulars here get irritated by it. Also this is *one* of the only boards people come to all day long asking if they're pregnant. How the hell are we supposed to know? How many times can you say "How the hell are we supposed to know" before you get irritated? 
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01-09-2013 at 10:43 AM
DSMLove
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I'm new here too, and I really wish you hadn't posted this. You're giving all newbies a bad name.

There is a community of well informed women here. They don't appreciate people wasting their time with ridiculous questions. So when someone asks something ridiculous, then the responses get snarky.

If a person can't handle that without getting butthurt, then this board probably isn't a good fit. It's a big internet, there are lots of other TTC boards.
Currently pregnant with my first. Estimated Due Date is November 22, 2013! 04 - Velma in the sink BabyFruit Ticker 
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01-09-2013 at 10:43 AM
DrDiega
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Mrs Castillo:

I joined TB when I found out I was pregnant with LO, there really aren't any board standards/ rules on other boards so I never had a problem jumping in and asking questions etc. 

I totally get why this board has rules though. If people did lurk, even for just 5 mins, you would see the same questions get asked 10 to 20x per hour. It's redundant and annoying, so I can see why the regulars here get irritated by it. Also this is *one* of the only boards people come to all day long asking if they're pregnant. How the hell are we supposed to know? How many times can you say "How the hell are we supposed to know" before you get irritated? 

Maybe the etiquette of this board needs to be more clearly defined in the newbie link.
 
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01-09-2013 at 10:43 AM
CLECyclist
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DrDiega:
Maybe some people are just nice.

And maybe some people are just snarky. Either deal with it or move on.

TTC since October 2011.
DX with Non-IR PCOS in October 2012.
Missing RIGHT tube due to a prior surgery to remove cyst-zilla (40 lbs!) at age 12.
HSG showed tube was blocked - cleared by dye. DON'T DO CLOMID WITHOUT AN HSG!
Cycle #8 with 50mg Clomid & TI = BFN
Cycle #9 with 50mg Clomid & TI = No response.
Cycle #10 with Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel shot = BFN
Cycles #11 & 12 are unmedicated (No temping/testing/charting) 
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01-09-2013 at 10:43 AM
LilSip0611
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DrDiega:

I guess it just seems really cliquey and hard to get it. I compare it to the sperm race. Out of the thousands of people on here only a few get to be the "cool kids"

 

Honestly, who cares about being a "cool kid" on an internet message board? Some people have made friendships IRL through this board and that's fantastic. But if anyone gets butthurt over not having that sort of relationship with another poster, they need to put on their big girl panties and deal with it.

You can still gain as much info and learn a ton by being a regular poster. Asking thoughtful questions will not get you flamed. Asking if you are KU or have IB is just stupid and will get you flamed.
 
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01-09-2013 at 10:48 AM
CLECyclist
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DrDiega:
Maybe the etiquette of this board needs to be more clearly defined in the newbie link.

No. People need to lurk to get a feel for the boards. This is not something that can be described in any tutorial or FAQ. You figure it out by observation. Again, if you can't swing it there's nothing wrong with it, but you're not going to change the board.

Do you have to be told how to do everything?


TTC since October 2011.
DX with Non-IR PCOS in October 2012.
Missing RIGHT tube due to a prior surgery to remove cyst-zilla (40 lbs!) at age 12.
HSG showed tube was blocked - cleared by dye. DON'T DO CLOMID WITHOUT AN HSG!
Cycle #8 with 50mg Clomid & TI = BFN
Cycle #9 with 50mg Clomid & TI = No response.
Cycle #10 with Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel shot = BFN
Cycles #11 & 12 are unmedicated (No temping/testing/charting) 
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01-09-2013 at 10:50 AM
alizuchows...
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nlscroggins:
and i'm sure i have asked/said some stupid stuff, but i also don't get butthurt when an internet stranger says something i don't agree with. seems like there are a lot of newbies these days that are very easily offended. 

 That made me LOL.
Married 10/10/09. Me: 33 DH: 36 Started TTC 3/12. BFP 7/9/12. EDD: 3/16/13. D&C 8/2/12. 7wk5d. Started TTC again 10/12.  
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01-09-2013 at 10:51 AM
Slapalicio...
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I didn't know that intros were annoying.  When did that happen?  They were welcomed when I first joined...
\m/ (>.<) \m/


Click here to read the Welcome Post, especially if you're new to the TTGP board!
Click here to go to the Bump Board Glossary
Click here to go to the TTGP Blog! It's more up to date than the link above 
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01-09-2013 at 10:54 AM
Emerald27
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DrDiega:

I guess it just seems really cliquey and hard to get it. I compare it to the sperm race. Out of the thousands of people on here only a few get to be the "cool kids"

 

Whaat?

  GIFSoup

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01-09-2013 at 10:54 AM
FoxiePM
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What was your experience in TB when you first joined? I was a stupid newbie with a chip on my shoulder.

 Were people rude? No people were SNARKY- but I thought people were mean to me.

 Make fun of newbies? I have yet to witness a newbie "get made fun of"

Tell you to lurk more before trying to join the conversation? I made a post about how everyone was so mean and got flamed (as I should have). I then lurked for a bit to get a better feeling of the board. I then became on of those "mean girls".

Oh bump gods, please bring back the 3 day rule!
***DD 5/15/2004***TTC #2 Since March 2012***Severe MFI***MyBlog ***  
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01-09-2013 at 10:55 AM
SCSmith201...
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Slapptastic:
I didn't know that intros were annoying.  When did that happen?  They were welcomed when I first joined...

I remember them being welcomed too (and encouraged when a newb came on and just started asking questions). At some point I stopped reading intro posts because there were so many of them. They used to be good and help me remember newbies but when we get 20 of them a day I can't keep anyone straight anymore.
TTC since August 2011, Me = 39, DH = 37. CD 3 bloodwork: Normal, HSG 3/29/12: tubes clear, DH's SA 3/29/12: Everything normal. Unexplained IF. Tried Clomid for 3 cycles. All BFNs.BFP 1/6/13. Chemical pregnancy.
 
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01-09-2013 at 10:55 AM
madasm0530
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Slapptastic:
I didn't know that intros were annoying.  When did that happen?  They were welcomed when I first joined...

I guess annoying isn't necessarily the right word. There just seems to be an influx of them sometimes. 
DH & I married 5/2009 :: DX with PCOS 7/2009
TTC since jan'12
bloggy blog blog


cycle 3: bfp, edd 5/16/13. mc at 7w4d.
cycle 6: break cycle
cycle 7: break cycle because of a dumb big cyst.
cycle 8: ??? 
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01-09-2013 at 10:56 AM
nlscroggin...
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CLECyclist:

DrDiega:
Maybe the etiquette of this board needs to be more clearly defined in the newbie link.

No. People need to lurk to get a feel for the boards. This is not something that can be described in any tutorial or FAQ. You figure it out by observation. Again, if you can't swing it there's nothing wrong with it, but you're not going to change the board.

this exactly. lurking is the only way to get the tone here. if newbies see things they think are mean spirited, i would suggest they go elsewhere. otherwise, it's their own fault kind of if they get flamed for asking something ridiculous, since they know it happens from time to time here. 

me: 26 - DH: 29
ttc #1 since june 2012
-dx: PCOS & hypothyroidism-
-Dec '12-SA: normal & HSG: all clear-
-Jan '13- clomid 50mg = BFN-
-Feb '13- clomid 100mg = BFN-
-March '13- clomid 150mg = BFN- 
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01-09-2013 at 10:57 AM
Ajoyd
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There's a big difference between being nice and being a white knight. White knights will defend anyone, no matter how stupid the initial post/question.

If you've lurked you would see there are plenty of people who don't participate in the snark without being overly obnoxious about defending the rights of EVERYONE to post any kind of nonsense on this board.

If you want to see a good example of what constitutes a white knight, look up Ultramonkey in The Bump dictionary.

Edit: quote fail.
Married my love 8-25-12 TTC #1 since September 2012. BFP 2-2-13. photo 455d4bc3-3623-4c16-8dd1-1fbc7e99e147.jpg BabyFruit Ticker My BFP Chart 
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01-09-2013 at 11:07 AM
SweetC80
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madasm0530:

Slapptastic:
I didn't know that intros were annoying.  When did that happen?  They were welcomed when I first joined...

I guess annoying isn't necessarily the right word. There just seems to be an influx of them sometimes. 

I actually really like intros. I don't remember most people, but it is an opportunity to get noticed and find others in a similar situation. Example: When I see somebody intro that talks about their struggles w/ Thyroid issues I like to follow them to see what I can learn from their experiences and try to help them if they have any questions.

Honestly the board has been pretty boring the last couple months.

Me Dx: Weak Ovulation / Total Thyroid Removal
DH Dx: Mild MFI (borderline all 3), Varicocele
TTC#1 since 5.11
Clomid 50mg + TI = Poor Response
Clomid 100mg + TI (x2) = BFNs
Clomid 100mg+IUI#1 (5.6M Post Wash & 1 Follicle) = BFN
Surprise BFP on 1/20/13 EDD: 9/25/13 It's A Girl!!
S/PAIF Welcome
**Shibby! Lots of love for my TBBFF rayofsunshine99 and the newest member of her family, Lily!**
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01-09-2013 at 11:13 AM
madasm0530
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SweetC80:
madasm0530:

Slapptastic:
I didn't know that intros were annoying.  When did that happen?  They were welcomed when I first joined...

I guess annoying isn't necessarily the right word. There just seems to be an influx of them sometimes. 

I actually really like intros. I don't remember most people, but it is an opportunity to get noticed and find others in a similar situation. Example: When I see somebody intro that talks about their struggles w/ Thyroid issues I like to follow them to see what I can learn from their experiences and try to help them if they have any questions.

Honestly the board has been pretty boring the last couple months.

touche on all counts
DH & I married 5/2009 :: DX with PCOS 7/2009
TTC since jan'12
bloggy blog blog


cycle 3: bfp, edd 5/16/13. mc at 7w4d.
cycle 6: break cycle
cycle 7: break cycle because of a dumb big cyst.
cycle 8: ??? 
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