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01-09-2013 at 12:47 PM
AshleyAnth...
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Advice- When to try

Hi all. I posted on my bmb and 2u2 with similar questions. I'm bombarding the whole bump with this one, I want as many heads and outlooks on this as possible.

DS is 11 months today, and we are talking about trying for #2.

DH is 100% ready to go. I am having reservations.

Were we to have a second right now, we would be able to afford it. All bills paid on time, all household expenses covered, and daycare covered. It would mean we would stop contributing to DS' college fund, and would need to put of starting DC #2's college fund. It would also not leave much wiggle room in our finances. We both have job security (as much as one can have), so I'm not dead set against not ttc #2, I'm just questioning if it is an intellegent choice. I keep hearing "if you wait until you're ready you'll never do it". I have a savings goal in mind just to have a small safety net, and in the next 6-7 months we will be credit card debt free, freeing up a little bit more $$ per month.

Would you ttc, knowing you could afford another child, but knowing that it would mean not leaving yourselves a lot of breathing room?

 

The massive pro I am seeing to this, as foolish as it may sound is: Dear lord, they will come out of daycare close together. It will seem like we grew a money tree in the backyard all of a sudden! haha.

 

Thanks in advance for any advice/ viewpoints on our situation.
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01-09-2013 at 12:59 PM
GhostMonke...
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Why are you putting money in a college fund and savings when you have credit card debt?

 

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01-09-2013 at 1:01 PM
DrDiega
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I know if I was having reservations I would wait. I have an older and younger brother and we are all really close in age and it is great now! My poor mom spent a few months in the stress center when we were little.

Also, my SIL just had a baby and as a 20 month old. She is a SAHM and is having a really hard time. Everyone is different though. I don't have kids but you already know what having one is like.
 
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01-09-2013 at 1:06 PM
AshleyAnth...
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I know it's backwards and Dave Ramsey would kick me in the shins, but we had little credit card debt and I wanted to be knocking away at both.
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01-09-2013 at 1:17 PM
krptcmschf...
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You are the only person who can decide whether it is the right time or not to have another child.

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01-09-2013 at 1:19 PM
AshleyAnth...
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krptcmschfmkr128:
You are the only person who can decide whether it is the right time or not to have another child.

I realize that. I'm not looking for people to make the decision for me. More of a "what would you do in my shoes", H thinks I'm overthinking, and you can't ever prepare for everything/there is no "perfect". I'm just trying to see if anyone has been there/is there.
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01-09-2013 at 1:21 PM
HawkeyeTTG...
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AshleyAnthony2B:
I know it's backwards and Dave Ramsey would kick me in the shins, but we had little credit card debt and I wanted to be knocking away at both.

Can I kick you in the shins?

 
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01-09-2013 at 1:24 PM
gamergirl5...
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AshleyAnthony2B:
I know it's backwards and Dave Ramsey would kick me in the shins, but we had little credit card debt and I wanted to be knocking away at both.

As a fellow Dave Ramsey-er, you really should pay down all your debt but the house before doing more than your baby e-fund, esp. if baby #2 is on the brain.  No one here can make the decision for you, but even if you're hesitating a little, it sounds like it's not the right time.

 
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01-09-2013 at 1:25 PM
jefa621
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HawkeyeTTGP:

AshleyAnthony2B:
I know it's backwards and Dave Ramsey would kick me in the shins, but we had little credit card debt and I wanted to be knocking away at both.

Can I kick you in the shins?

This.  Especially if there is interest being accrued on that credit card!  Pay off the CC first so you aren't paying more in the long run. Then you can put twice as much every month into the college fund.
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01-09-2013 at 1:25 PM
AshleyAnth...
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HawkeyeTTGP:

AshleyAnthony2B:
I know it's backwards and Dave Ramsey would kick me in the shins, but we had little credit card debt and I wanted to be knocking away at both.

Can I kick you in the shins?

If dave ever stops, feel free to step right up.
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01-09-2013 at 1:29 PM
AshleyAnth...
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jefa621:
HawkeyeTTGP:

AshleyAnthony2B:
I know it's backwards and Dave Ramsey would kick me in the shins, but we had little credit card debt and I wanted to be knocking away at both.

Can I kick you in the shins?

This.  Especially if there is interest being accrued on that credit card!  Pay off the CC first so you aren't paying more in the long run. Then you can put twice as much every month into the college fund.

 

I guess I should go in to it more. We are in Ontario. In Ontario every family, regardless of income gets a cheque each month for $100 called International Child Care Benefit. Because we get this for our son, to me it has his name on it, so we put it in his college fund, despite not having paid off cc. So that part, I think, is understandable. Other than that, we make another contribution, and that has the stupid tax, i know.
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01-09-2013 at 1:30 PM
kat81again...
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I wouldn't but that's me. I wouldn't also because I think that 2u2 sounds pretty miserable. DS just turned 2 and we are now ready/impatient; my ideal age gap would probably be around 2.5 yrs and we already missed that. But one thing I'm glad about is that I do not have a newborn right now. And to put it in your terms, yeah I'm really glad I didn't have a newborn a few months ago!

I also would want to feel more financially secure if I were you but that's easy for me to say because we are in pretty good shape financially ourselves.

I thought of another pro for you, though -- I heard that financial aid is a lot more generous when you have two kids in college at once than when you do not. Granted you're paying more during that time, but because of the generosity you will end up paying less overall. If those rules are still in play when our kids are old enough.

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01-09-2013 at 1:31 PM
ayamw
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As Dave Ramsey would also say - Life is not a snapshot, it’s a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse...so I would not wait per se, because you never know what is coming down the pipes. I would want to feel "comfortable" with moving forward TTC. Maybe setting a short term financial goal (ex: pay off CC in 6 mo then TTC) would help you "feel better" about TTC...at least setting small goals works for me.  

Edit b/c I forgot to proofread. 
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01-09-2013 at 1:33 PM
HawkeyeTTG...
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ayamw:
As DR would also say - Life is not a snapshot, its a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse...so I would not wait perse

Are some of these things supposed to be words, or actual (good) advice?

Where's Loki with his YOLO pic?

 
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01-09-2013 at 1:40 PM
AshleyAnth...
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ayamw:
As DR would also say - Life is not a snapshot, its a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse 

 

I LOVE this! This is kind of how my husband is not understanding my reservations. He feels like I am trying to plan for something when it can not be planned for.
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01-09-2013 at 1:42 PM
HawkeyeTTG...
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AshleyAnthony2B:

ayamw:
As DR would also say - Life is not a snapshot, its a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse 

 

I LOVE this! This is kind of how my husband is not understanding my reservations. He feels like I am trying to plan for something when it can not be planned for.

Gosh if you just wanted people to tell you exactly what you wanted to hear you should have just told us in the OP. 

 
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01-09-2013 at 1:44 PM
AshleyAnth...
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HawkeyeTTGP:
AshleyAnthony2B:

ayamw:
As DR would also say - Life is not a snapshot, its a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse 

 

I LOVE this! This is kind of how my husband is not understanding my reservations. He feels like I am trying to plan for something when it can not be planned for.

Gosh if you just wanted people to tell you exactly what you wanted to hear you should have just told us in the OP. 

 

That's not what i wanted to hear. It just gives an interesting perspective. I like the quote. That a sin?
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01-09-2013 at 1:45 PM
LokiTTGP
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HawkeyeTTGP:

ayamw:
As DR would also say - Life is not a snapshot, its a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse...so I would not wait perse

Are some of these things supposed to be words, or actual (good) advice?

Where's Loki with his YOLO pic?

 
 
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01-09-2013 at 1:48 PM
HawkeyeTTG...
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LokiTTGP:

 
 
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01-09-2013 at 1:52 PM
LokiTTGP
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HawkeyeTTGP:


 
 
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01-09-2013 at 1:55 PM
AshleyAnth...
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LokiTTGP:
HawkeyeTTGP:


 

humor is lost on me. Are these all from some movie? Are you guys like the new ttgp princesses or something? AEs or legit? I need to lurk here more often these days.
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01-09-2013 at 1:57 PM
curlylocks...
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AshleyAnthony2B:

ayamw:
As DR would also say - Life is not a snapshot, its a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse 

 

I LOVE this! This is kind of how my husband is not understanding my reservations. He feels like I am trying to plan for something when it can not be planned for.


Financial stability can be planned for. Things can and do come up that throw it off, but one can certainly plan to pay down debt or have a certain amount in savings before doing something.

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01-09-2013 at 1:58 PM
AshleyAnth...
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curlylocks3:
AshleyAnthony2B:

ayamw:
As DR would also say - Life is not a snapshot, its a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse 

 

I LOVE this! This is kind of how my husband is not understanding my reservations. He feels like I am trying to plan for something when it can not be planned for.


Financial stability can be planned for. Things can and do come up that throw it off, but one can certainly plan to pay down debt or have a certain amount in savings before doing something.

 

which is how I feel. I was just saying, that quote sums up my husbands feeling on the matter in a really awesome way. I may be too much on the other side of the fence to the point that I don't know if I will ever feel comfortable.
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01-09-2013 at 2:00 PM
HawkeyeTTG...
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LokiTTGP:

 
 
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01-09-2013 at 2:21 PM
ayamw
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AshleyAnthony2B:
curlylocks3:
AshleyAnthony2B:

ayamw:
As DR would also say - Life is not a snapshot, its a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse 

 

I LOVE this! This is kind of how my husband is not understanding my reservations. He feels like I am trying to plan for something when it can not be planned for.


Financial stability can be planned for. Things can and do come up that throw it off, but one can certainly plan to pay down debt or have a certain amount in savings before doing something.

 

which is how I feel. I was just saying, that quote sums up my husbands feeling on the matter in a really awesome way. I may be too much on the other side of the fence to the point that I don't know if I will ever feel comfortable.

I provided my DR (Dave Ramsey) quote hopefully to get across that your financial status/income/budget today will not be your financial status/income/budget tomorrow, thus projecting her current situation forward and thinking “It would mean we would stop contributing to DS' college fund, and would need to put of starting DC #2's college fund. It would also not leave much wiggle room in our finances.” does not have to be long term thing.  If she is a DR follower, then hopefully she is “gazelle intense” and “wiggle room” to restart the college savings will be a non-issue.  Heck – TTC could take longer than becoming debt free and this discussion would be a non-discussion at this point – who knows?!  So yes – in a roundabout way this is a YOLO kind of answer;), but sprinkled with a healthy balance of purpose, planning and compromise…and maybe some puppies kittens and unicorns.  J
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01-09-2013 at 2:25 PM
AshleyAnth...
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ayamw:
AshleyAnthony2B:
curlylocks3:
AshleyAnthony2B:

ayamw:
As DR would also say - Life is not a snapshot, its a filmstrip - so your financial situation will either improve or get worse 

 

I LOVE this! This is kind of how my husband is not understanding my reservations. He feels like I am trying to plan for something when it can not be planned for.


Financial stability can be planned for. Things can and do come up that throw it off, but one can certainly plan to pay down debt or have a certain amount in savings before doing something.

 

which is how I feel. I was just saying, that quote sums up my husbands feeling on the matter in a really awesome way. I may be too much on the other side of the fence to the point that I don't know if I will ever feel comfortable.

 

I provided my DR (Dave Ramsey) quote hopefully to get across that your financial status/income/budget today will not be your financial status/income/budget tomorrow, thus projecting her current situation forward and thinking “It would mean we would stop contributing to DS' college fund, and would need to put of starting DC #2's college fund. It would also not leave much wiggle room in our finances.” does not have to be long term thing.  If she is a DR follower, then hopefully she is “gazelle intense” and “wiggle room” to restart the college savings will be a non-issue.  Heck – TTC could take longer than becoming debt free and this discussion would be a non-discussion at this point – who knows?!  So yes – in a roundabout way this is a YOLO kind of answer;), but sprinkled with a healthy balance of purpose, planning and compromise…and maybe some puppies kittens and unicorns.  J

 

That's how I took it. It was a much more eloquent way of stating what my husband has been telling me for months. It doesn't mean I am going to throw caution to the wind and get in deeper than we can get ourselves out. It just helped me see what he was saying in a broader perspective.

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01-09-2013 at 2:37 PM
ayamw
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AshleyAnthony2B:

That's how I took it. It was a much more eloquent way of stating what my husband has been telling me for months. It doesn't mean I am going to throw caution to the wind and get in deeper than we can get ourselves out. It just helped me see what he was saying in a broader perspective.

EDIT: Yes

 
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01-09-2013 at 3:16 PM
Agradley
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GhostMonkey:

Why are you putting money in a college fund and savings when you have credit card debt?

 

If she is putting money into an RESP (specific to Canada) then depending on the contribution amount,  gross income, and the amount of her CC debt, her tax savings could actually be more than she is paying in interest.  Thus it would benefit her to be contributing to an RESP with credit card debt. 
 
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01-09-2013 at 6:36 PM
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Have a kid.  Tell them Jayme said to.
 
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