Wow, if I didn't know any better I would've thought that I wrote this! My DH is going through the same things. He does NOT like change what so ever. The other day I was pumping and he was trying to calm LO down and he got very frustrated. He put DS in his RnP and said "I need to go outside before I lose it". DH just got laid off on Monday and will now be watching DS when I go back to work, so I told him that he needed to calm down and find some patience because when I go back to work he just can't put DS down and leave. He replied with "I hope I get called back before you go back to work". This statement not only hurt my feelings but pissed me off because I would give anything to stay at home with DS and spend as much time with him as I could. I overreacted a little and said "So you would rather go to work then spend time with your son?!?! That's real nice" and started walking away. He then said "I knew I wasn't going to be a good father" and went outside. Just about broke my heart. He is a great father, this is just a huge adjustment that is going to take time to figure out and get used to. I keep reminding myself to be more patient with DH. I don't really have any advice since I myself don't really know what to do with DH either. I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one going through this!!
I disagree. If your DH is getting frustrated, he should put the baby down (in a safe place) and walk away to calm down. Obviously, he shouldn't hop in the car and drive away but if he needs to step outside or into another room, he should.
Being a parent is hard and there's a learning curve. When my husband and I had our first DD, we both had moments of getting frustrated. Thankfully, we were never both frustrated at the same time. We did a lot of tag-teaming during her fussy periods. It's key to stay on the same team and not jump on each other for needing a little help when the baby is crying. We both knew that if we were getting to our breaking point, we needed to get the other person.