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01-10-2013 at 12:05 PM
dcole86
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Since I got pregnant...

None of my friends have kids and since I got pregnant they have pretty much forgotten about me. My best friend and I were very close, like sisters before, but the last time we hung out involved me driving her around town so she could buy snacks and drinks for her NYE party. She's invited me out but I think it's inappropriate and irresponsible for me to be in a bar or sitting at her house while everyone is in the garage smoking and drinking. I've suggested getting lunch or dinner but she always has plans. I guess it's a good thing we're moving 3 states away.
 
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01-10-2013 at 12:10 PM
mabenner1
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Um, why can't you go to a bar pregnant?  As long as you aren't drinking, you can still have a social life.
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01-10-2013 at 12:14 PM
briannah10...
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I agree with the PP. I still go to the bars. Granted its not as much fun, but its nice to still socialize with your friends that still like to go do that stuff. Now if smoking is allowed in the bar, I would see why you would not want to go. Luckily here in Washington smoking is not allowed. I plan on going to the bar this weekend to watch the Seahawks game. Try to still have a good time and don't worry about people thinkgin about a pregnant girl being in a bar. As long as you aren't chugging beers right along with everyone else, who cares?!
 
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01-10-2013 at 12:19 PM
valeivegas
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Your friendships will change - it is possibly you may lose some friends, or you just won't have close contact with them.  Personally I think your friend should be more understanding - even if there is no smoking I also wouldn't want to go to a bar (but I'm also not into that kind of thing anyway). 

Maybe it's time to meet some new friends - who are also going to be moms?  Sign up for a prenatal yoga class or check out meetup.com & join some mom groups.  Find your local la leche league & go to a meeting.  Get out there! 


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01-10-2013 at 12:24 PM
nycnola
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Now, I do think you can go to a bar, but I completely understand your feelings. My sister and my best friend both got...jealous? resentful? A combo of both? Something definitely changed, and they both got mad at me for being selfish and a host of other things, which really hurt me at first and I took it to heart, but now I think it was them and not me. None of my other relationships changed like that, noone else thought I was selfish. I have no idea what it is about pregnancy, but I think some people can't mentally handle that next step of moving on, things being different, etc...It's definitely sad, but you will make new friends, and appreciate the ones who are happy for you and supportive. GL!
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01-10-2013 at 1:11 PM
JeseyJo
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I personally don't mind going to bars, as long as there's no smoking. I just grab a water and chat. Plus, DH likes that he has a DD! =) 

However, I do know how you feel. 2 of my best friends up and left after I got married. I never got a clear explanation as to WHY, but they just stopped talking to me. I can only assume that they weren't ready to grow up and I was. When I stopped going to bars every weekend with them, I guess they started to feel like I wasn't 'cool' enough to hang out with them. Looking back now, they werent as great of friends as I thought they were and Like someone else said, some people can't handle change. You'll find new friends. =) Good luck!
 
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01-10-2013 at 1:17 PM
dcole86
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Most of the bars they go to allow smoking. I don't think there's anything wrong with a pregnant lady going to a bar to be social or watch a game but my friends go to bars and clubs to party. There's a difference.
 
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01-10-2013 at 7:48 PM
pinottopar...
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mabenner1:
Um, why can't you go to a bar pregnant?  As long as you aren't drinking, you can still have a social life.

I'm with you OP, I wouldn't go to the bar pregnant, either. It's one thing to go to like a sports bar/restaurant... it's another thing to go to a legit bar where everyone is drunk and sloshing drinks everywhere. It's not fun, and honestly, once you are showing, I think it's kind of trashy. I would judge a pregnant girl at a bar. It's just not really appropriate to me. 
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01-11-2013 at 8:01 AM
mabenner1
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pinottoparenthood:

mabenner1:
Um, why can't you go to a bar pregnant?  As long as you aren't drinking, you can still have a social life.

I'm with you OP, I wouldn't go to the bar pregnant, either. It's one thing to go to like a sports bar/restaurant... it's another thing to go to a legit bar where everyone is drunk and sloshing drinks everywhere. It's not fun, and honestly, once you are showing, I think it's kind of trashy. I would judge a pregnant girl at a bar. It's just not really appropriate to me. 

I'm not talking about going to the club. But a bar, where there's good music, food, and friends?  I think it is ridiculous to have to stay home while my husband and our friends go out for the night.

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01-11-2013 at 8:17 AM
elmoali
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mabenner1:
pinottoparenthood:

mabenner1:
Um, why can't you go to a bar pregnant?  As long as you aren't drinking, you can still have a social life.

I'm with you OP, I wouldn't go to the bar pregnant, either. It's one thing to go to like a sports bar/restaurant... it's another thing to go to a legit bar where everyone is drunk and sloshing drinks everywhere. It's not fun, and honestly, once you are showing, I think it's kind of trashy. I would judge a pregnant girl at a bar. It's just not really appropriate to me. 

I'm not talking about going to the club. But a bar, where there's good music, food, and friends?  I think it is ridiculous to have to stay home while my husband and our friends go out for the night.

No kidding.  We're not bar people so this isn't an issue but I wouldn't see it as one if we were.  What the heck is trashy about sitting in a place where OTHER people are drinking?  You could go to a cookout or a restaurant where people are drinking.  gasp! 
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01-11-2013 at 8:37 AM
Ana0927
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pinottoparenthood:

mabenner1:
Um, why can't you go to a bar pregnant?  As long as you aren't drinking, you can still have a social life.

I'm with you OP, I wouldn't go to the bar pregnant, either. It's one thing to go to like a sports bar/restaurant... it's another thing to go to a legit bar where everyone is drunk and sloshing drinks everywhere. It's not fun, and honestly, once you are showing, I think it's kind of trashy. I would judge a pregnant girl at a bar. It's just not really appropriate to me. 

Someone sounds a little uptight!  I still go to girls nights and that includes going to bars and small clubs/venues to listen to music.  We take our 4 year old to Hooters! That girl loves her some wings. Judge away!!!
 
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01-11-2013 at 8:40 AM
highlights
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So wait, you've changed your entire life and outlook, and its your friends' fault they don't spend time with you?

Um, no. You changed honey, they didn't. You need to make an effort. You can still go to a bar or their home. The sight of alcohol will not hurt your child.

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01-11-2013 at 9:52 AM
imoan
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highlights:

So wait, you've changed your entire life and outlook, and its your friends' fault they don't spend time with you?

Um, no. You changed honey, they didn't. You need to make an effort. You can still go to a bar or their home. The sight of alcohol will not hurt your child.

 This. 

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