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01-10-2013 at 1:31 PM
adchessmor...
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adchessmore21 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 12:26 PMNewbie

NBR: friend doesn't like bf/baby daddy.

Ok so my friend who is also pregnant, always has this not very nice opinion about my bf who is also my baby's daddy. She says it is her mom that says this stuff to her but idk. Anyway she says that her mom says he looks like my ex and that she is praying for me n that I would be better off doing this alone. The funny thing is neither one of them really know him. He isn't like my ex and he has a full time job n takes great care of me.
How do I deal with negativity all the time from her. I mean she is married and has 1 kid from a different guy n one of the way with her husband n her husband isn't always the nicest but I fit say anything. What do I do. Because once the baby is born I don't want to have to deal with my bf being put down.

 
01-10-2013 at 1:32 PM
mabenner1
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How old are you?

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01-10-2013 at 1:33 PM
GARTHKE
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Tell them to please keep their comments to themselves because if you must choose between your family and your friends, they will be losing you. Of course you could phrase it nicer, but I wouldn't...

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01-10-2013 at 1:35 PM
adchessmor...
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I am 22

 
01-10-2013 at 1:45 PM
mabenner1
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Then act like it. If you don't want your friend shit_talking your boyfriend (please don't refer to him as your baby daddy. Gross), then tell her so. If she doesn't stop, stop being friends with her. It isn't hard.

And type like an adult.


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01-10-2013 at 1:59 PM
vallas1
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mabenner1:

Then act like it. If you don't want your friend shit_talking your boyfriend (please don't refer to him as your baby daddy. Gross), then tell her so. If she doesn't stop, stop being friends with her. It isn't hard.

And type like an adult.

 

Yes


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01-10-2013 at 2:00 PM
allydncr
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I'd tell her to grow up. If she doesn't know him, why is she talking about him? He's your child's father, and whether she likes it or not, he is going to be in your life, regardless of whether or not you two stay together. Maybe she should get to know him? Seriously, even if she doesn't like him, if she can't keep her mouth shut about it, I wouldn't consider her much of a friend. My DH and BF don't really get along, but they both know that I'm not going to choose between them, and anyone who would make me do so is out. They are both grown ups and if they don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. She's your friend and should be supporting you. Unless he is abusive in any way (which it doesn't seem like that's the case!) then it's none of her business. She's not the one having a child with him.

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01-10-2013 at 2:05 PM
2010Bride2...
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What do you do? Get a new friend.

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01-10-2013 at 2:06 PM
baby Gs mo...
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Tell her to grow up, its your life and if she cannot be supportive and helpful than you can certainly go find a REAL friend. A real friend is not someone who puts you down and discourages you. Now, if she had a valid reason like abuse for not liking him, that's one thing but to not like him because he looks like someone else, thats just stupid. Get rid of her before she keeps bringing you down and decides to tell your kid what she really thinks of its dad, when its older. 

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01-10-2013 at 2:43 PM
adchessmor...
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Thank you for the people who didnt leave rude responses. I just wanted opinions from other ppl that weren't my family. So thank you.

 
01-10-2013 at 2:53 PM
BabyM71420...
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If she is your friend and easy to talk to then tell her how it makes you feel.  If she can't be more positive, then ease back on the friendship.  Good luck!

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01-10-2013 at 3:14 PM
adchessmor...
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Thank you

 
01-10-2013 at 6:41 PM
pamperedgi...
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baby Gs mommy:
Tell her to grow up, its your life and if she cannot be supportive and helpful than you can certainly go find a REAL friend. A real friend is not someone who puts you down and discourages you. Now, if she had a valid reason like abuse for not liking him, that's one thing but to not like him because he looks like someone else, thats just stupid. Get rid of her before she keeps bringing you down and decides to tell your kid what she really thinks of its dad, when its older. 

ditto!!

whether she likes him or not he is in your life and she needs to grow up.


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01-10-2013 at 7:03 PM
Pearls+Oys...
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Well she's going to have to suck it up, now, won't she? You are the one in a relationship with your SO, not her, not her mother. You're going to have to learn to stand your ground. If someone you consider a friend starts putting your child down, will you let them? I'd hope not. Then why would you let them put your child's father down, if you don't agree with what they say, stand up, tell them, and if they're not happy...

Well good riddance, I say. 


 
01-10-2013 at 7:04 PM
Snapdragon...
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Maybe this is just a guess, but is it possible your friend dislikes something else about him besides that he looks like your ex?  That seems weird.  

I dunno, how long have you been friends with your friend and how long have you been with your "baby daddy?"  If you've known your friend to be loyal and have good advice for 10 years and you've been with baby daddy for 6 months, maybe you should listen to what she has to say.  If not, tell her to mind her own business.  Either way he's your kid's dad so he'll be in your life whether she (or you) likes it or not.

There really just aren't enough details here for anyone on the internet to give you worthwhile advice. 

 
01-10-2013 at 9:18 PM
Lovestruck...
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mabenner1:

Then act like it. If you don't want your friend shit_talking your boyfriend (please don't refer to him as your baby daddy. Gross), then tell her so. If she doesn't stop, stop being friends with her. It isn't hard.

And type like an adult.

Ummmmm....all of this.


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01-11-2013 at 7:01 AM
dalzien
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LovestruckAJ:
mabenner1:

Then act like it. If you don't want your friend shit_talking your boyfriend (please don't refer to him as your baby daddy. Gross), then tell her so. If she doesn't stop, stop being friends with her. It isn't hard.

And type like an adult.

Ummmmm....all of this.

This as well. Grow up. If you are 22 then start acting like the adult you are supposed to be and stand up for yourself and your boyfriend (not your "baby daddy"). Don't whine about it. If you keep referring to him as your "baby daddy", then you can expect to continue to deal with the negativity that comes from using such an immature label.

 
01-11-2013 at 8:36 AM
amtobey
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dalzien:
LovestruckAJ:
mabenner1:

Then act like it. If you don't want your friend shit_talking your boyfriend (please don't refer to him as your baby daddy. Gross), then tell her so. If she doesn't stop, stop being friends with her. It isn't hard.

And type like an adult.

Ummmmm....all of this.

This as well. Grow up. If you are 22 then start acting like the adult you are supposed to be and stand up for yourself and your boyfriend (not your "baby daddy"). Don't whine about it. If you keep referring to him as your "baby daddy", then you can expect to continue to deal with the negativity that comes from using such an immature label.

 

Yes to all of this.


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01-11-2013 at 8:36 AM
logoz80
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Sounds like she isn't perfect either, but ask her about it, maybe there is something you aren't seeing. My friend has horrible taste in men and I haven't liked any of her boyfriends.....and unfortunately I've been right about all of them. 
01-11-2013 at 8:48 AM
mitzidanny
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amtobey:
dalzien:
LovestruckAJ:
mabenner1:

Then act like it. If you don't want your friend shit_talking your boyfriend (please don't refer to him as your baby daddy. Gross), then tell her so. If she doesn't stop, stop being friends with her. It isn't hard.

And type like an adult.

Ummmmm....all of this.

This as well. Grow up. If you are 22 then start acting like the adult you are supposed to be and stand up for yourself and your boyfriend (not your "baby daddy"). Don't whine about it. If you keep referring to him as your "baby daddy", then you can expect to continue to deal with the negativity that comes from using such an immature label.

 

Yes to all of this.

Yes Yes  


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01-11-2013 at 8:53 AM
SouthSideD...
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Zoinks. Why do you care? Tell your firend to stop, or give herself some distance. You are about to have much bigger things going on in your life than some petty drama. Take a class, read a book, move on.

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01-11-2013 at 1:23 PM
hoopduck
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Sometimes friends can get overly nosy. Just tell her you don't want to discuss it, that it's your business and although you appreciate her concern, you and he are doing just fine. If she brings it up again, cut her off and say "Look I am done talking about this. It's not open for discussion, okay?" If she respects and cares for you she'll back off and leave him out of your conversations in the future. Congrats, btw!

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01-11-2013 at 2:59 PM
Liz4444
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