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01-10-2013 at 8:00 PM
soontobero...
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HELP - First Pregnancy and need advice :(

Hi all,

I could definitely use some serious advice right now. I GREATLY APPRECIATE you even reading this so I will try to keep it short and sweet....

My husband and I just got married in September and found out on New Years that we are pregnant.  I am so beyond excited until now ;-( My doctor thought I would be six weeks today when I called to make my appointment based on my LMP (which I thought was odd because I know I conceived on or around December 16-18) and scheduled a sonogram for me for 1/10/13.  I was so excited to go, see the baby and possible heartbeat etc.(thinking I was six weeks like he said on the phone prior to seeing me) Well my doctor basically told me that either I am VERY early (which I believe is true considering I got pregnant either the 16th or 18th of December) or I am going to have a miscarriage. He saw the sack and the little yolk was just starting to develop.  There was no heartbeat.  He tried to tell me he THINKS I am early but like i said also I just could be miscarrying.

My question is why would he say this?  How many weeks am I pregnant?  I am so confused by this whole LMP thing.  My period was November 28, 2012 and I am on a 33 DAY CYCLE.  I have no idea what to think bc not only are hormones all over the place but my anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF.  I haven't left my bed because I am so beyond upset, the tears dont stop.  MY POOR HUSBAND doesnt even know what to do with himself.

I called my sister-in-law's doctor and he thinks I am way too early as well but he cant give me insight because he hasn't seen me in his office. I am sick to my stomach.  I go back to my OBGYN on Monday but I am dreading it to be honest. I dont even know what to think anymore....:-(     HELP

 


 
01-10-2013 at 8:08 PM
L&R70707
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Even if you were 6 weeks exactly, not seeing a HB can be fine.  Your doctor was just preparing you for both possible outcomes.  Unless you know for a fact when you ovulated by charting your basal temps, you are probably earlier than you thought.  Did they draw blood to check your HCG levels?




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01-10-2013 at 8:09 PM
nde99
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First and foremost, take a deep breath.  I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.  Based on your LMP, you should be *around* 6 weeks.  Were you charting at all?  Temping?  OPKs?  You said you think you conceived around the 15-18th?  I think for 6 weeks (or maybe a little less if you O'd later) you are right on track.  I have an appt for 6w5d and I'm already nervous it's going to be too early to see anything.  Try to relax a little bit...although it's easier said than done.  Keep us updated!  

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01-10-2013 at 8:11 PM
stephmarie
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First off, I don't think what your doctor said is that awful, it sounds like he was just being honest. My LMP was Nov 15 and I am 8 weeks today, so you being 6 weeks sounds about right, which might be why you didn't see a heartbeat. I would try not too worry too much until your next appointment!


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01-10-2013 at 8:12 PM
ZacksBride
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i am sorry you are going through this.  i know it must be difficult.  but, if your OB who saw you in the office was not able to give a definitive answer, there is no way that internet strangers will be able to.  he didn't say that you might miscarry to be mean, it is just a possibility when no heartbeat is seen at a gestational age that it is expected - a blighted ovum is a possibility. 

that being said, many people ovulate late, thus ultrasound images do not match LMP.  our baby is measuring almost a full 2 weeks behind my LMP.   

did they draw and HCG levels?  what they will do now is likely follow HCG levels, or check back in a week with another ultrasound and see if the gestational sack is bigger/look for heartbeat.

good luck! 


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01-10-2013 at 8:46 PM
mabenner1
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Your doctor has to prepare you for the worst. If he were to get your hopes up falsely, that would be much worse. Yes, it sounds terrible to you, but you can't take it personally.

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01-10-2013 at 9:07 PM
QueSyrah
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What your doctor said was not awful at all. When I had my first miscarriage my OB told me at my first appointment that, "it didn't look good" and "you should prepare yourself." After a few weeks I did end up miscarrying.

Would you feel better if your doctor had said everything was fine and then you miscarried? They have to be honest with you and if it doesn't look like a viable pregnancy, then you need to be prepared for that possibility.

That being said, you just need to wait it out and see what happens.


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01-10-2013 at 10:00 PM
soontobero...
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Thank you everyone for your insight.  ;-)  He did draw blood and will let me know my results in the next few days.  (torture lol) This is my first pregnancy so naturally I HAVE NO IDEA what to expect but hearing what I did today wasn't exactly my "ideal first pregnancy visit." lol

I am glad he was "honest" but if he couldn't even give me a definitive answer as to how far along I even am, then why would he state I could be having a miscarriage? Look, I believe in being honest 110% but when you cant even answer simple questions I think something is wrong with that situation.  Maybe that's just me?  Time for a new doctor?  Not sure? Never been pregnant before hence why I am here writing for some advice to see if anyone has ever experienced this before?  

If I conceived on December 16-18th is it even possible that I am 6 weeks pregnant?  I am not going by my LMP because I know that wouldn't be accurate based on conceiving and also my cycle is 33 days not 28 like the average woman.  

Has anyone ever gone by when they conceived instead of their LMP?  

Thanks ladies <3333333 


 
01-10-2013 at 10:08 PM
L&R70707
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soontoberoseto:

Thank you everyone for your insight.  ;-)  He did draw blood and will let me know my results in the next few days.  (torture lol) This is my first pregnancy so naturally I HAVE NO IDEA what to expect but hearing what I did today wasn't exactly my "ideal first pregnancy visit." lol

I am glad he was "honest" but if he couldn't even give me a definitive answer as to how far along I even am, then why would he state I could be having a miscarriage? Look, I believe in being honest 110% but when you cant even answer simple questions I think something is wrong with that situation.  Maybe that's just me?  Time for a new doctor?  Not sure? Never been pregnant before hence why I am here writing for some advice to see if anyone has ever experienced this before?  

If I conceived on December 16-18th is it even possible that I am 6 weeks pregnant?  I am not going by my LMP because I know that wouldn't be accurate based on conceiving and also my cycle is 33 days not 28 like the average woman.  

Has anyone ever gone by when they conceived instead of their LMP?  

Thanks ladies <3333333 

Many people do....they chart their basal temperatures and know the exact day they ovulated.  My ovulation date was Dec 10th and I am 6 weeks 3 days, so you could be anywhere between 5 and 6 weeks, maybe a little earlier.




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01-10-2013 at 10:13 PM
QueSyrah
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soontoberoseto:


I am glad he was "honest" but if he couldn't even give me a definitive answer as to how far along I even am, then why would he state I could be having a miscarriage?


Because you could be.

Seriously, calm down. It's not time to find a new doctor. 

P.S. miscarriages, especially early first trimester miscarriages are very, very common. So yes, many people have been through this before. If you do indeed miscarry, your doctor will likely advise you to wait a cycle and then start trying again. 


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01-10-2013 at 10:45 PM
leahaustin
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Honestly, 6 weeks seems a little early to listen for a heartbeat. My appointment for that is not until 10 weeks.
My friend went through this with her last baby and it turns out she was much earlier than they thought.

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01-10-2013 at 10:46 PM
QueSyrah
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leahaustin:
Honestly, 6 weeks seems a little early to listen for a heartbeat. My appointment for that is not until 10 weeks. My friend went through this with her last baby and it turns out she was much earlier than they thought.

I don't think her OB was listening for it, I think it was just an ultrasound. By 6 weeks you can typically (not always, but typically) see the HB via ultrasound.


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01-10-2013 at 11:40 PM
soontobero...
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Thank you so much! It is very reassuring!!!  L&R did u go for your first sono already? Of you are 6 weeks 3 days and you conceived the 10th, I would be 5 weeks 3 days which makes complete sense. That would be entirely too soon to see or hear a heartbeat....

 
01-10-2013 at 11:41 PM
soontobero...
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Leah

did u have a sono yet? Congrats!  


 
01-11-2013 at 7:28 AM
smilormari...
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Yes, we go by "conceived" date if any tracking methods were used to calculate ovulation date.  I was temping and being followed by a fertility clinic by bloodwork and ultrasounds for insemination and my last period was 05Dec12 but I ovulated and had insemination on 21Dec12 so my doctor said my date of conception was 21Dec12 and I am only 5 weeks today, 11Jan12, not 5.5 weeks.


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01-11-2013 at 7:31 AM
shellyco
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I conceived on Dec 18th via timed IUI and I am 5w3d today, so if you did too you arent even six weeks pregnant yet, which sounds about right for what you saw on the u/s

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01-11-2013 at 7:55 AM
bubbaslove...
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Sorry you are going through this but I can totally sympathize.  Prior to having DD I had an early m/c, so needless to say finding out 2.5 months later that I was pregnant again had my VERY anxious.  My OB's office does an US at just over 6 weeks for "confirmation of pregnancy" and to date things.  When I went in for this appointment with DD they were only able to see the fetal pole and the sac, not little heartbeat flutter, I was beside myself, but the doctor said pretty much what yours did, it could be a m/c or it could just be that we are earlier then we thought...she wanted me back in 5 days, and when we went back all was fine.  Try to think positively, which I know is hard to do, but like pp's have said, it's very positive that your dates are just off a bit. 


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01-11-2013 at 8:54 AM
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It sounds like you could really benefit from picking a book or two on pregnancy. I really liked The Pregnancy Book by Dr Sears as well as The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy 


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01-11-2013 at 9:05 AM
L&R70707
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soontoberoseto:
Thank you so much! It is very reassuring!!!  L&R did u go for your first sono already? Of you are 6 weeks 3 days and you conceived the 10th, I would be 5 weeks 3 days which makes complete sense. That would be entirely too soon to see or hear a heartbeat....

Yes, I've had 2 u/s because I'm an infertility patient.  At 5 weeks 3 days my u/s showed just what your doc saw on yours, a sac and a yolk sac.  Yesterday we saw the heartbeat and the little bean of a baby.




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01-11-2013 at 9:21 AM
mckay1am
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I'm in a similar, but opposite, situation.

 My cycle is 24 days, not 28. My doctor keeps telling me that doesn't matter and that it goes by your LMP, but I disagree 100%, because the length of your cycle makes your ovulation day fluctuate. I definitely understand why they use the LMP as the date to predict due date and such, but I don't think it can be depended on because of situations like ours.

 At six weeks, the baby's heart is the size of a poppy seed and it's said that it CAN be seen on an ultrasound...I wouldn't worry too much about that; give that part time.

 
01-11-2013 at 9:57 AM
Bonjuju
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If my doc went by my LMP I would have been a whole 2 weeks behind... which in an early U/S could suggest some very devastating news.

OP... my calculator shows you're only about 5 weeks 4 days with a conception date of Dec 17th...which would be on target for what the doc saw so stay positive.

01-11-2013 at 9:59 AM
Luthy
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Okay, several things.

1. Pregnancies are dated by your LMP. That's just how it's done, until you can get a better estimate based on ultrasound. Your doctor isn't wrong for doing it that way.

2. Based on your ovulation date and cycle length, yes, you are probably closer to 5 weeks than 6 weeks. It is likely that you'll go back in a week and see a heartbeat. That's good, so take a deep breath! When you go back, if there is indeed a fetal pole and hb, they will modify your due date based on the measurements they get from the ultrasound, which is the most accurate way of doing it. But since they don't have accurate measurements yet, they will still be going by your LMP.

3. Your doctor wasn't wrong to prepare you that you might be miscarrying, either. One sign of a miscarriage can be a lack of fetal pole and heartbeat when you'd expect to see one (and he did expect to see one based on your LMP -- which again, is how pregnancies are dated). Like I said, based on your cycle length and believed conception date, you are probably okay, but miscarriage is still a possibility and it's better to be prepared than not.

4. Pick up a few books about pregnancy. It'll really help you understand this stuff so you don't have to freak out quite as much. I like Your Pregnancy Week by Week but PPs have given good suggestions as well.


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01-11-2013 at 2:53 PM
Liz4444
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soontoberoseto:

Thank you everyone for your insight.  ;-)  He did draw blood and will let me know my results in the next few days.  (torture lol) This is my first pregnancy so naturally I HAVE NO IDEA what to expect but hearing what I did today wasn't exactly my "ideal first pregnancy visit." lol

I am glad he was "honest" but if he couldn't even give me a definitive answer as to how far along I even am, then why would he state I could be having a miscarriage? Look, I believe in being honest 110% but when you cant even answer simple questions I think something is wrong with that situation.  Maybe that's just me?  Time for a new doctor?  Not sure? Never been pregnant before hence why I am here writing for some advice to see if anyone has ever experienced this before?  

Because at this point, he doesn't know definitively.  I went through this with my first pregnancy.  My dr did an ultrasound and only saw the sac, she told me the same thing, earlier than we think or m/c, then sent me to the hospital where they had better machines.  The Dr at the hospital told me the exact same thing.  DH and I were messes for a week until they sent me back for another ultrasound.  It turned out that I did miscarry. 

They are doctors, not gods.  They cannot always give you a definitive answer without further information.  Usually, further information means more tests and time.


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01-12-2013 at 7:10 AM
soontobero...
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Ladies,  I wish I could hug you all <3 your advice truly means the world to me.  I have been so up and down with my emotions (hormones thank you lol).

My doctor called me today, he believes I am early but also is keeping me prepared for the worst.  Now that I have calmed down a bit, I can see things a lot more clearer.  I feel that if I am supposed to carry this baby then I will....if not GOD has a plan for me. Everything does happen for a reason.   

According to my doc, he still is not sure exactly how many weeks I am but my beta was 5000 which he was rather pleased with.  However my progesterone was at a 7.9 which is wasn't too happy with.  With that being said he put me on progesterone 200 mg once daily at night to be taken vaginally.   

 Anyone ever have this situation occur?  I tell ya being pregnant is stressful lol I had a big time reality check lol

 THANK YOU THANK YOU AND THANK YOU for replying and taking the time to read and respond to me.  It is so greatly appreciated ladies <3 


 
01-13-2013 at 12:45 PM
Luthy
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Glad to hear your betas are looking good! I had to be on progesterone suppositories until about week 13 with this pregnancy. I firmly believe that it helped me carry the pregnancy this long. I lost my first one. They're a pain to take but if they help then it's so worth it. Good luck!

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01-13-2013 at 8:09 PM
soontobero...
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thank you so much luthy! the progesterone is very messy but hey its worth it hehehe :-) back to the doctor tomorrow.  VERY NERVOUS! I have very bad back pain....did u experience this?

 
01-14-2013 at 10:25 AM
PDX7868
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I had an ultrasound when I thought was I six weeks, turns out I was 5. Couldn't see hardly anything, just the start of a yolk sac. I just went back last week and found out I'm 8 weeks (not 9) and saw the little heart beat going strong.

Bottom line - when it's so early it's hard to say what is going to happen but just because they couldn't see anything yet doesn't mean you will miscarry. You can't see a whole lot until after 6 or 7 weeks. Hang in there!


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01-14-2013 at 10:44 AM
anastasiac...
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You just have to wait it out.  The doctor is just trying to be honest with you, trying to prepare you if the worst does happen.  He is also legally required to give you all the information.  

That being said, 6 weeks can be too early for a heartbeat.  Even if you conceived on the 16 or 18th you'd still be six weeks along.  Pregnancy is calculated by the beginning of your cycle.  By the time you conceive you are technically 2 weeks pregnant already.  Your doctor is correct to calculate you at 6 weeks.  Here is a link where you can put in your LMP to calculate and conception date to calculate the due date. http://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy-due-date-calculator   sorry not clicky. 


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01-14-2013 at 10:31 PM
soontobero...
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Thank you for your kind and reassuring words :) Congrats on babies heartbeat...YAY!!!!  Wishing you nothing but the bestttttt!!!!

I went back today and the doctor told me he believes I am only 5 weeks 2 days pregnant based on my conception and what was seen.  There was growth which is great.  The yolk sack was beautifully round and just 4 days ago it was barely there.  

I go back in 4 days to see if the heartbeat has appeared....I was reading online about this and they mention something about a fetal pole?  My doctor never mentioned anything about this?  Does this develop with the heartbeat or no?  Do you happen to know?


 
01-15-2013 at 7:15 AM
L&R70707
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soontoberoseto:

Thank you for your kind and reassuring words :) Congrats on babies heartbeat...YAY!!!!  Wishing you nothing but the bestttttt!!!!

I went back today and the doctor told me he believes I am only 5 weeks 2 days pregnant based on my conception and what was seen.  There was growth which is great.  The yolk sack was beautifully round and just 4 days ago it was barely there.  

I go back in 4 days to see if the heartbeat has appeared....I was reading online about this and they mention something about a fetal pole?  My doctor never mentioned anything about this?  Does this develop with the heartbeat or no?  Do you happen to know?

Glad to hear things are still looking good.  A fetal pole is one of the first developing signs of embryo, but often it can't be seen until after 6 weeks.




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I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929 
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