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01-11-2013 at 4:56 PM
NataliasMO...
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Oh my! Friend has shocked me!

So, I'll try to make this brief...

 A fairly good friend of mine unfortunately left her DH about a year ago after she uncovered a big drug habit he was involved in...they had a 1 year old girl at the time (now 2), and the divorce is still not final as he is contesting everything...

 Well...let's just say, I am in complete disbelief right now...she met a new guy recently, dated for awhile, found he was married but 'leaving his wife', and apparently pulled the ultimate prank on her (and this is a woman in her late 30s).  He told her that he had an 'injection' that would make him sterile so they could have unprotected sex!  I cannot even understand anyone believing this?!  She's supposedly a 'smart' woman!  Well.....even though, she requred fertility treatments w/ her first DD, she got PG with this guy's supposedly sterile sperm and is expecting a second child as she's already in her second trimester....and he decided to go back to his wife and leave her PG with her second kid!

She's having issues caring for the girl she already has financially as a single mom, and now she'll have 2 by 2 fathers!

And what irks me most is I remember how she had some trouble being 'happy' for me with my announcement to her of when I was PG with my DD a few years ago...and I haven't forgotten that less than excited reaction!

I will find out the details tomorrow (for now she told my friend who was sworn to secrecy, but she'll share it with me all tomorrow in person).  I don't know how to act!  I am trying for about 6 mos (with one C/P that few ppl know about), and it is even harder for me to be happy knowing she is having a second kid as a single mom, and wasn't that excited for me with my first pregnancy.

I am not a good actress...I don't even know how to respond?!

And the part about the 'sterile shot'?!  I mean, really?  Wouldn't every high school boy in the world invest in those?!  geez!

 
01-11-2013 at 5:01 PM
JulianneJa...
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Bring it on!

When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.  
01-11-2013 at 5:04 PM
krptcmschf...
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JulianneJacks:
Bring it on!

*watches intently*

 



Started dating DH 06/06/2009

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

TTC #2 Implanon removed 06/18/2012

Married MH 10/19/2012

BFP 11/10/2012 CP 11/11/2012


Kryptic Mischief in the Making 
01-11-2013 at 5:07 PM
mrswilkeni...
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::says to kmm:: 

 



"Well you were thinking it!" "Well you said it!" -White Chicks- 
01-11-2013 at 5:08 PM
FoxiePM
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Sooooooo..........

I get that you are concerned for her but let me tell you where you went wrong here.

1) It is not your business if she can afford another baby.

2) If and when I get pregnant I will have two kids by two fathers. I believe there several women here in that same position.

3) Single mothers are awesome. I did it for a couple of years and my kid is still alive.

4) Good for her for getting out of a relationship with a drug addict (I did the same). It is not her fault that he is contesting everything. Was she supposed to put her life on hold forever?

5) If she didn't know the man was married when she met him, how is it her fault that she was dating a married man? Should she have ended the relationship right there, sure but things are more easily said than done.


***DD 5/15/2004***TTC #2 Since March 2012***Severe MFI***MyBlog ***  
01-11-2013 at 5:12 PM
Tamma254
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Paitonsmommy:

Sooooooo..........

I get that you are concerned for her but let me tell you where you went wrong here.

1) It is not your business if she can afford another baby.

2) If and when I get pregnant I will have two kids by two fathers. I believe there several women here in that same position.

3) Single mothers are awesome. I did it for a couple of years and my kid is still alive.

4) Good for her for getting out of a relationship with a drug addict (I did the same). It is not her fault that he is contesting everything. Was she supposed to put her life on hold forever?

5) If she didn't know the man was married when she met him, how is it her fault that she was dating a married man? Should she have ended the relationship right there, sure but things are more easily said than done.

 

ITA - OP - None of what you posted is any of your business. Just *try* to be a supportive friend. And I am side-eying the friend that told you, it wasn't her place.


Miss you forever, Mom. 11/9/50 ~ 8/20/09
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01-11-2013 at 5:12 PM
MeatandBan...
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It seems like she is in a tough situation, and if you were actually her friend you would support her and be there for her. 

TTC #1 SINCE 10/12 My Chart 
01-11-2013 at 5:15 PM
NataliasMO...
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Ok, I didn't mean to come off as trying to offend any single moms...and yes, there is more to the story than is written here...

 yes, she should have left him as a drug addict, but he was bad for her before they even got married and EVERYone tried to tell her how he was bad news...but she wanted to be married and wanted a kid so badly, it didn't matter who the guy was.

And I guess I'm not upset about it being from 2 men b/c I know that happens all the time!  and I commend single moms, I do.  But to believe his 'sterile shot' story is just beyond words.  She can't be that naive?!  And she did know he was married the entire time, but he repeatedly lied to her over and over again.  (not about the wife thing, but in other regards)...

So, I guess I just would have thought more of her after being through the marriage she had, the situation she was in, to fall for this act.

That's all...

And yes, part of me is upset b/c she was just too happy for me with my first DD so it is hard for me to find a way to be happy about this...esp. when she complains about her troubles as a single mom (it is my business if she tells me about it...it wouldn't be my business if I'm just making my own observations, and getting involved).

Sorry if I offended anyone...not my intention, but I just expected more from my friend, and to be careful after the first situation she had. 

 
01-11-2013 at 5:15 PM
sunlavende...
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krptcmschfmkr128:

JulianneJacks:
Bring it on!

*watches intently*

 

Wash it down with this!



Trying to get knocked up since June 2012
Making a Baby ~ Blogging It Up  
01-11-2013 at 5:24 PM
mrswilkeni...
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NataliasMOM0214:

Ok, I didn't mean to come off as trying to offend any single moms...and yes, there is more to the story than is written here...

 yes, she should have left him as a drug addict, but he was bad for her before they even got married and EVERYone tried to tell her how he was bad news...but she wanted to be married and wanted a kid so badly, it didn't matter who the guy was.

And I guess I'm not upset about it being from 2 men b/c I know that happens all the time!  and I commend single moms, I do.  But to believe his 'sterile shot' story is just beyond words.  She can't be that naive?!  And she did know he was married the entire time, but he repeatedly lied to her over and over again.  (not about the wife thing, but in other regards)...

So, I guess I just would have thought more of her after being through the marriage she had, the situation she was in, to fall for this act.

That's all...

And yes, part of me is upset b/c she was just too happy for me with my first DD so it is hard for me to find a way to be happy about this...esp. when she complains about her troubles as a single mom (it is my business if she tells me about it...it wouldn't be my business if I'm just making my own observations, and getting involved).

Sorry if I offended anyone...not my intention, but I just expected more from my friend, and to be careful after the first situation she had. 

1) WRONG. It doesn't make it your business. She is confiding in you because she thinks you're her friend. Clearly she is wrong about that.

2) Guess she isn't as perfect as you. 



"Well you were thinking it!" "Well you said it!" -White Chicks- 
01-11-2013 at 5:26 PM
NataliasMO...
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Sorry...I didn't know this would cause such reactions...I figured mostly everyone would find it amusing about the 'sterile shot' for men! 

I do feel bad for her, but it is hard to not have opinions, or feel it isn't my business when she shares all the details with me...it's what we do. As friends we voice our opinions.

and support is something I would have liked from her with my first pregnancy, but I felt it was lacking.  We're still good friends, but she doesn't know how I feel with regard to that, and probably would deny it if I brought it up to her.

I just feel like she made some bad choices that could have been prevented. But I guess it happens to the best of us, huh?

 

 
01-11-2013 at 5:29 PM
NataliasMO...
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mrswilkening2b:
NataliasMOM0214:

Ok, I didn't mean to come off as trying to offend any single moms...and yes, there is more to the story than is written here...

 yes, she should have left him as a drug addict, but he was bad for her before they even got married and EVERYone tried to tell her how he was bad news...but she wanted to be married and wanted a kid so badly, it didn't matter who the guy was.

And I guess I'm not upset about it being from 2 men b/c I know that happens all the time!  and I commend single moms, I do.  But to believe his 'sterile shot' story is just beyond words.  She can't be that naive?!  And she did know he was married the entire time, but he repeatedly lied to her over and over again.  (not about the wife thing, but in other regards)...

So, I guess I just would have thought more of her after being through the marriage she had, the situation she was in, to fall for this act.

That's all...

And yes, part of me is upset b/c she was just too happy for me with my first DD so it is hard for me to find a way to be happy about this...esp. when she complains about her troubles as a single mom (it is my business if she tells me about it...it wouldn't be my business if I'm just making my own observations, and getting involved).

Sorry if I offended anyone...not my intention, but I just expected more from my friend, and to be careful after the first situation she had. 

1) WRONG. It doesn't make it your business. She is confiding in you because she thinks you're her friend. Clearly she is wrong about that.

2) Guess she isn't as perfect as you. 

I never said I was perfect, and I am her friend.  Again, I didn't think this post would cause such reactions from people. 

The others who know about what happened with her feel the same as I do...I guess not everyone else agrees, which is fine. Again, sorry.

 

 
01-11-2013 at 5:31 PM
sunlavende...
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Trying to get knocked up since June 2012
Making a Baby ~ Blogging It Up  
01-11-2013 at 5:35 PM
krptcmschf...
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sunlavender:

But that last time....

 



Started dating DH 06/06/2009

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

TTC #2 Implanon removed 06/18/2012

Married MH 10/19/2012

BFP 11/10/2012 CP 11/11/2012


Kryptic Mischief in the Making 
01-11-2013 at 5:35 PM
JulianneJa...
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sunlavender:


When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.  
01-11-2013 at 5:37 PM
sunlavende...
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JulianneJacks:

sunlavender:

 



Trying to get knocked up since June 2012
Making a Baby ~ Blogging It Up  
01-11-2013 at 5:38 PM
sunlavende...
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krptcmschfmkr128:

sunlavender:

But that last time....

 



Trying to get knocked up since June 2012
Making a Baby ~ Blogging It Up  
01-11-2013 at 5:38 PM
JulianneJa...
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NataliasMOM0214:

Sorry...I didn't know this would cause such reactions...I figured mostly everyone would find it amusing about the 'sterile shot' for men! 

I do feel bad for her, but it is hard to not have opinions, or feel it isn't my business when she shares all the details with me...it's what we do. As friends we voice our opinions.

and support is something I would have liked from her with my first pregnancy, but I felt it was lacking.  We're still good friends, but she doesn't know how I feel with regard to that, and probably would deny it if I brought it up to her.

I just feel like she made some bad choices that could have been prevented. But I guess it happens to the best of us, huh?

 


When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.  
01-11-2013 at 5:38 PM
mrswilkeni...
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"Well you were thinking it!" "Well you said it!" -White Chicks- 
01-11-2013 at 5:39 PM
Twinkie061...
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NataliasMOM0214:

... she requred fertility treatments w/ her first DD, ...

And what irks me most is I remember how she had some trouble being 'happy' for me with my announcement to her of when I was PG with my DD a few years ago...and I haven't forgotten that less than excited reaction!

...I don't know how to act!  I am trying for about 6 mos (with one C/P that few ppl know about), and it is even harder for me to be happy knowing she is having a second kid as a single mom, and wasn't that excited for me with my first pregnancy.

I am not a good actress...I don't even know how to respond?!

I deleted out the part that is jugemental and completely none of your business and will respond to what is left.

So the thing that irritates you the most is that your friend that had to deal with infertility had a hard time being happy when you announced you were pregnant?  And you haven't forgotten that so now you aren't going to be happy for her because you have been trying for 6 months?

Sounds kind of childish to me.





TTC #1 since August 2011
September 2012: Start IF testing
DH: SA is good
Me: CD 3 blood work is good, HSG all clear, 7 DPO blood work shows low progesterone
October 2012: Clomid + IUI = BFN
December 2012: Consultation with RE#1. Not impressed with RE#1.
January 2013: Consultation with RE#2
January 2013: CF screening shows that I am a carrier of CF. Thankfully, DH's screening shows that he is not a carrier of CF. Sperm antibody tests are negative for both of us. According to our RE we are Unexplained IF
March 2013: Post coital tests show possible hostile CM. So, maybe not so unexplained?
April 2013: Unmedicated IUI after yet another bad bad PCT. = BFN
Cultures find a bacterial infection that could harm fertility, DH and I both start antibiotics.
May 2013: Clomid + Trigger + IUI 
01-11-2013 at 5:39 PM
krptcmschf...
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Started dating DH 06/06/2009

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

TTC #2 Implanon removed 06/18/2012

Married MH 10/19/2012

BFP 11/10/2012 CP 11/11/2012


Kryptic Mischief in the Making 
01-11-2013 at 5:39 PM
angelchild...
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sunlavender:

:::ded:::


BFP 1/30/13 EDD 10/6/13Image and video hosting by TinyPic  BabyFruit Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers 
01-11-2013 at 5:40 PM
JulianneJa...
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sunlavender:

Ha ha- my cat has beat up a small dog!

JulianneJacks:

sunlavender:

 


When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.  
01-11-2013 at 5:41 PM
mrswilkeni...
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sunlavender:

krptcmschfmkr128:

sunlavender:

But that last time....

 

funniest cat gifs cat on cat off The 15 Funniest Cat GIFS 



"Well you were thinking it!" "Well you said it!" -White Chicks- 
01-11-2013 at 5:42 PM
sunlavende...
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Trying to get knocked up since June 2012
Making a Baby ~ Blogging It Up  
01-11-2013 at 5:43 PM
NataliasMO...
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Twinkie0612:
NataliasMOM0214:

... she requred fertility treatments w/ her first DD, ...

And what irks me most is I remember how she had some trouble being 'happy' for me with my announcement to her of when I was PG with my DD a few years ago...and I haven't forgotten that less than excited reaction!

...I don't know how to act!  I am trying for about 6 mos (with one C/P that few ppl know about), and it is even harder for me to be happy knowing she is having a second kid as a single mom, and wasn't that excited for me with my first pregnancy.

I am not a good actress...I don't even know how to respond?!

I deleted out the part that is jugemental and completely none of your business and will respond to what is left.

So the thing that irritates you the most is that your friend that had to deal with infertility had a hard time being happy when you announced you were pregnant?  And you haven't forgotten that so now you aren't going to be happy for her because you have been trying for 6 months?

Sounds kind of childish to me.

No, it is more than that.  I still see nothing wrong with having an opinion on the matter...we all have thoughts on the choices our friends or family make. It's natural, and we're human.  And we can try to protect them, or prevent them from making bad choices, and if they ignore our words of wisdom, it is hard to sometimes be that supportive.  Esp. if it hinders your friendship.

 

 

 
01-11-2013 at 5:47 PM
krptcmschf...
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Started dating DH 06/06/2009

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

TTC #2 Implanon removed 06/18/2012

Married MH 10/19/2012

BFP 11/10/2012 CP 11/11/2012


Kryptic Mischief in the Making 
01-11-2013 at 5:53 PM
NataliasMO...
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Thanks for all your adorable pictures, ladies!  :)

And I do appreciate your words of advice, as I will try my best to be supportive of my friend tomorrow, as I do want the best for her.

Have a good night!

 

 
01-11-2013 at 5:59 PM
Spookster
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Go ahead and be jealous, my sig gif was made by the master: CLE!
Makaia Born 8-27-10~Married 11-26-10~Step-Momma to Payton 7-27-07
TTC#2 Since November 2010
April 17th 1st apt
1.20 pound weight loss
2. Start Metformin
3. DH's SA
4. 4-23-13 Full fasting labwork completed,awaiting results.
Results are all healthy
WalkingTall & Tough  
01-11-2013 at 6:01 PM
sueann911
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Oh good grief. It hurts to laugh but the cat gifs are killing me. Love them all especially the one with the iguana.

Me: 31 DH: 31. B/W: good. SA: good.
November 2012: Paratubal cyst found during U/S.
January 10, 2013: Lap removed paratubal cyst and Stage 2 Endometriosis.
January 2013: Unmedicated. P4 was 8.4. Meds recommended.
February 2013: Femara 2.5 mg and TI. P4 was 8.5. Meds will be doubled next cycle.
March 2013: Femara 5 mg and TI. P4 was over 11.
April 2013: Femara 5 mg and IUI#1. P4 was 11.4. Post wash over 40 million.
May 2013: Femara 5 mg and TI. Vacation during FW.
Everyone Welcome!


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