I've had an epidural with one son and I went med-free with the other. Both were equally amazing experiences. This time I will go med-free again but I can't explain why. I just feel at this point it's the right choice for me to make.

 

I feel the same. Maybe I'm just going to have a sit down with him, and tell him it's important to me. 

I'm not sure yet, but I am considering going natural for these reasons (not sure if they're good enough):

- With an epidural, you lose the sense in your legs. I want to be able to walk around during labour, and I might even want to give birth kneeling, sitting on a birth chair, or otherwise let gravity help me a bit.

- I hate losing control over my body. That's one of the reasons I don't drink - even when I get slightly drunk, the fact that I can't control my own movement in the usual way makes me very scared.

- I have been under general anesthesia twice and I found the experience very frightening and uncomfortable. Both times, I was very, very scared when I woke up, I was extremely cold and shivering and I puked for days. Both times, I felt recovering from the anesthesia was worse than recovering from the operation itself. I know that an epidural is very different from general anesthesia, but I'm afraid my body doesn't like anesthetics very much.

- They stick a needle in your back. I had a friend where they had to try twice, and her husband hated that part of the birth most, if it's his feelings you are scared about.

As you can tell, I'm afraid of giving up control. That's probably what birth and having children is all about, so I guess I have to get used to it.

That being said, it sounds like you would have the epi more for your husband that for yourself. Labour is not the time to comfort your husband, it is the time that he needs to comfort you. If you prefer natural, go for it. You can take classes together to get him more familiar with the process and to teach him ways in which he can assist you. 

With DS, I planned to go natural. In general, I just don't like medicine, and I never take anything unless I'm totally miserable. I had surgery about five years ago and was miserable for days afterwards while the meds and stuff worked their way out of my system.

I ended up having 2 days of back labor, they put me on Pitocin after my water broke (24+ hours into labor), I asked for meds to take the edge off the pain so I could sleep (I hadn't slept in 2 days because of the back labor), I eventually asked for an epidural because the back labor was so bad...and then I ended up with a c-section.

But I really WANTED a natural birth. I was so loopy from the meds they gave me for the c-section, the first couple of days after DS was born are a blur.

This time, I'd like to try for a VBAC and maybe go med-free, but we'll see. I don't want to deal with a c-section incision and chasing my toddler, but I don't want to go through 2 days of labor only to end up with an RCS.

DH had a really hard time seeing me in so much pain (pre-epidural). I made the mistake of letting my parents stay in the room, but I eventually kicked them out. Then DH engaged more, rubbed my back, etc. He had no idea what to do, though, and he would probably prefer not to see me like that again. If I DO try a med-free VBAC, I'm going to be more specific about what I need him to do so he'll feel more confident about what to do.

I really appreciate your responses. I don't like feeling out of control either, which is why I HATED the epi the first time. I couldn't even lift my own legs when they needed to check to see if I was dilating. I felt drunk and sloppy, and I don't typically like that feeling. Lol

Also, I didn't get to walk around and help my labor progress. I like the idea of being able to get up right away (in a sense) and move around instead of waiting for the feeling to return in my legs. DD had to go to the nursery since she had fluid on her lungs, and I had to wait to go see her. That sucked.  

I am planning on going natural but i did say to myself if i felt like i couldn't do it i would consider an epidural. But since i have never been in labor i have know idea how painful it is so i hoping to go natural but we will see what happens.

I'm not pregnant at the moment, but I have every intention of going natural when the time comes.

For me, I can see this being a stressful experience.  I'm used to stress and I'm very well skilled at managing my own stress when I'm scared.  For this reason, I really want to be able to move around freely, walk around as long as possible, be able to walk around afterwards, and basically have some modicum of control over myself.

I also believe that since my body was designed to do this then I'm going to let it do it. 

Of course, I could end up with complications or any other range of issues that land me with an epidural or C-section.  I'll take it as it comes!

I will say that my husband supports this because he wants me to be comfortable and calm (-ish).  Obviously the baby is paramount, but if everything is progressing fine and I'm happier with med-free, then he's happier with it.

I had an epi with DD and my labor did not go well after that; ended in c/s. I don't blame it on the epi, but I believe that I made a hasty decision in getting it and that my body did not react well, and I became a victim of one intervention leading to another, and another...

I have nothing against pain drugs for labor, but I'm trying for a VBAC this time and my OB and I agree that going med free is my best chance.

People have different opinions, and your SO may just be of the belief that pain drugs are there for a reason. But if you really want to go med free, you'll need his support, so a conversation is in order. GL with your decision.

I attempted a med free birth with my daughter and eventually had to get an epi (after 25ish hours) because she was in a bad position and it was either an epi and rest or a csection. This time around I will be attempting another med free birth but I do know that sometimes an epi is necessary. 

I really enjoyed "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth". If you read one book about natural birth I would suggest that it's this one.

You need to sit down with your significant other and have a real conversation about this and get on the same page. Find out why he would be apprehensive and maybe suggest he read some birth stories from natural births or even read  the Ina May book. If he's not on the same page as you when the birth happens and you do try to go med free he probably won't be very helpful.  

Ultimately, there's no way to explain this kind of decision to someone who can't fathom the firsthand experience of labor and delivery to begin with.  He will never go through it, he will never understand how it feels.  His job is to support you through the process, whatever decision you make.  That's not to say that you shouldn't listen to or accept his fears or apprehension about the process, but ultimately it is your body and your decision.  That said, you can try to educate him as much as possible if he's the type of guy who's interested in listening and learning about it.  And do at least try to explain why your feelings are what they are, even if he doesn't end up really getting it.

FWIW, I went natural to within 45 minutes of delivering my second baby.  The only reason I did end up getting an epidural was because my doctor placed an internal monitor about an hour before I delivered, and for some reason it hurt so incredibly badly.  I couldn't stand it - it was a blindingly sharp, stabbing pain.   But up until that point, my contractions were absolutely manageable, my pain level was actually very low, it's just that the contractions were very intense.

For reference, try flexing your arm muscle or your abs as hard as you possibly can, and then imagine your body flexing that same way involuntarily and about a hundred times harder.  That's how it felt for me.  It didn't hurt, it was just insanely intense.  It can be pretty alarming, and that's the worst part.  For me, it was just a matter of remaining calm and levelheaded as the contractions became longer, stronger, and closer together.  And until that damned internal monitor.  And I do plan on going natural this time around too.

I just wanted to throw it out there that if your husband isn't much of a reader you guys could watch "The Business of Being Born" with him. I believe it's still on Netflix if you have it. 

CaraLynn91:

I really appreciate your responses. I don't like feeling out of control either, which is why I HATED the epi the first time. I couldn't even lift my own legs when they needed to check to see if I was dilating. I felt drunk and sloppy, and I don't typically like that feeling. Lol

Also, I didn't get to walk around and help my labor progress. I like the idea of being able to get up right away (in a sense) and move around instead of waiting for the feeling to return in my legs. DD had to go to the nursery since she had fluid on her lungs, and I had to wait to go see her. That sucked.  

Glad to read this. I felt a bit silly writing down my thoughts on this, because how could that trump being pain-free? But I'm happy to see that my thoughts make sense to someone else, if you know what I mean.

Sorry they had to take your DD away! Her picture is so cute, BTW. 

I had an epidural because my son was breech and I had to have a c section. I was nervous about not having control of my body and to tell you the truth it wasn't that bad. If you've ever been to the dentist and had Novocain where you can kind of feel your lips but not totally...that's exactly how it was for me with my legs. I thought it would feel more of a paralyzed feeling but it wasn't. It wore off pretty quickly afterwards too.

I'm a first time mom, and decided going natural was the only way for me. If you are hesitant, i would recommend reading "Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. So many of your questions will be answered from a very logical and not-preachy perspective.

I don't know if I'll go completely natural, as I'm not opposed to an epidural. However, I want to do most of the labor at least without. I don't like the idea of not being able to move around for a long period of time. I want to be able to be on a ball, get in the tub, sway, etc., and not be confined to the bed. I hope to labor as long as possible at home.

I have a few big reasons:

1) I don't want a needle in my spine. I can barely tolerate getting my blood drawn. This said, if something goes wrong and I decide I do want a needle in my spine, I will get one, barring my reservations about...

2) Having back issues. One of my friend's parents still has them and I don't want to have any.

I also don't like the idea of losing control! 

My main reason for going unmedicated with DS and why I am hoping to again this time is just that I knew it was something my body could do.  I didn't want to be immobilized and prevented from moving around naturally and letting my body and brain find ways to manage the intensity of the experience.  The key for me was having really good support- people with me who totally understood and were committed to my decision.  If your hubby is nervous about supporting you, look into maybe hiring a doula.

I decided to go as med-free as possible with DD1 and plan on doing it again this time around. I had an IV hooked up and ready for me just in case and plan on doing that again. This was highly recommended by my doctor in case of something serious were to happen. I did not want an epi because the thought of a giant needle going in my spine scares me way more than delivering an 8 lb baby. I also believe that a huge part of child birth is state of mind and my body was made to do this and I can do it again. I am absolutely not anti-medication though and understand that every birth is different. I was lucky that I had my daughter in my arms only 4 hours after arriving to the hospital, and hope baby #2 is just as nice to me. 

I'm planning on going natural again.  

DD#1 I was induced, had pitocin, and had an epidural.  It didn't work at all.  They wouldn't let me up to walk and move after I'd had it even though it didn't work.  So in the end, I went natural.  

DD#2 I was undecided.  I ended up laboring at the hospital for a while.  I'd had issues with DD#1 so I personally felt more comfortable being there than being at home.  I let my mid-wife hep lock me for just in case.  But until I wanted the epidural I was allowed to walk, get in the shower, get in the tub, use the ball, whatever I wanted.  The last time I got out of the tub, I told my midwife that was it.  Before I was able to get over to the bed I knew I had to push.  THAT was when I wanted the epidural.  She checked me and said DD#2 was coming now.  A few minutes later she was born.  As long as I had freedom to move and do what made me comfortable to work through the pain.  It wasn't as bad as I'd heard.  And I'm a complete weenie with any pain.

 I'm going in somewhat open minded again.  If I need one, I know it's there.  But with as easy as it was before for me I personally don't want it unless I have to have it.  I've done it twice before without it.

I wanted to see if I could do it. I didn't go into it thinking I was going to be some sort of hero. I didn't want to do it at all costs. I knew there was a chance I wouldn't be able to have a natural delivery. But, I felt like I at least owed it a fair chance.

I would recommend taking him with you to the dr, and asking questions. Also, ask him what he's so apprehensive about. Maybe just getting it out in the open will help ease his mind.

I went med-free both times. The first time was because  I feared getting the epi. Immediately after having DS1 I needed surgery to fix up my ute and was told that, because I have multiple sclerosis, I couldn't get an epi anyway so I had a general for my D&C.

So the decision was made for me and I went med-free for DS2 too.

I think that having a plan for labor and delivery is funny....For those that are scared of the needle in the back, While I understand that fear might I say that they insert this needle in the middle of a very painful contraction while you are sitting up bending over on top of the table. So while I had an epi during my labor with DD1 I never felt them put it in. I labored on my own in the hospital for more than 23 hours before I got that Epi. I was able to walk and bounce and squat and anything until I got the epi. After the 23 hour workout I was exhausted and Needed that help to allow me to rest. I was able to take a nap and then it was time to push! 4 pushes later my baby girl was here happy and healthy and beautiful. I never felt drugged or loopy. I had no trouble pushing or remembering the experience and I had no effects afterwords. 

I know that everyone has different experiences but for those that have never done it either way I just want you to be aware that there are more than horror stories. Kudos for those of you who go natural but kudos to everyone for the strength it takes to have a baby period.

 

I made it to 8cm with my first son before I tapped out and got an epi. It was awful. I felt fine it was the not feeling my legs after they turned it off that freaked me out. It took a good 4-5 hours for my right leg feeling to return. I was an ineffective pusher too b/c of it. I couldn't feel to push and was pushing with my head and burst several veins in my eyes. I also had a TIA after delivery and they think it was a result of the pushing. It was an awful experience.

With my 2nd son I went natural and it was hard but a much better experience. My labor was fast and he was born 2 hours after getting to the hospital.

My DD was natural as well and it was hard but I knew what to expect. It went very quickly as well. My water broke at 33 w and when I got to the hospital I was between 5-6cm and she was born less than an hour later.

Im planning on going natural this time around too. Im afraid to have any intervention. I was induced with my first son and got pitocin at 4cm after they broke my water. Labor had been barable until then.

My husband doesn't really get a say in epi or not - it's my body and I'm the one pushing the kid out.

For the first, I went in with an open mind. Trying for natural but OK if epi was needed. Labor came on so fast and so hard that I literally couldn't get my bearings to push, so I ended up getting one. It didn't take that well - I could still feel my legs and a lot of pain, but it was enough to take the edge off.

This time around I have the same plan - go in with an open mind. Who knows what will happen or how this labor will go. We'll see. :o) 

aylacbw:

I'm a first time mom, and decided going natural was the only way for me. If you are hesitant, i would recommend reading "Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. So many of your questions will be answered from a very logical and not-preachy perspective.

This.  I really enjoyed Ina May's book.  It made me feel empowered and even more excited for a natural birth.  I also highly recommend it!  The first bit is a little hard to get through (natural birth stories) but the book is really worth the read!  Good luck with you decision. 

My real answer is because the idea of having a needle in my back completely wigs me out. I mean, that sucker goes into your SPINE! Plus then you need a cathedor (eww) and you can't walk and yeah. 

My answer after research: I feel that (though not all the time) any type of intervention can lead to other interventions. Kind of like the slippery slope argument. I'd rather not start that. Plus, I'm pretty med free in general. When they ask at the doctor if I am allergic to any meds I blatantly say I don't know. I've only really ever been on antibiotics and Novocain at the dentist. THat's it. 

My SIL had a lot of issues with her epi, both that she got that splitting headache afterwards, and because she was out of it she agreed to a lot of things she didn't want. Or they did automatically... like where they cut just incase you tear. She didn't even know that they did that until after the labor was over. That seems scary to me, to not know what's going on to your body.  

I had a birth center birth first time around, and I'm planning the same again.

There were a lot of reasons that I wanted to go this route, and one of them was that I wouldn't have access to an epi.I talked to people who had natural births and they said that was the way to go, and I talked to people who had medicated births, and they said that was the way to go.

What made up my mind was talking to people who had BOTH, a medicated and non-medicated birth and they were overwhelming in favor of their natural birth experience. I think it's difficult for people to say one way is better than the other if they've only ever done it one way. 

dreadiemama:

My real answer is because the idea of having a needle in my back completely wigs me out. I mean, that sucker goes into your SPINE! Plus then you need a cathedor (eww) and you can't walk and yeah. 

My answer after research: I feel that (though not all the time) any type of intervention can lead to other interventions. Kind of like the slippery slope argument. I'd rather not start that. Plus, I'm pretty med free in general. When they ask at the doctor if I am allergic to any meds I blatantly say I don't know. I've only really ever been on antibiotics and Novocain at the dentist. THat's it. 

My SIL had a lot of issues with her epi, both that she got that splitting headache afterwards, and because she was out of it she agreed to a lot of things she didn't want. Or they did automatically... like where they cut just incase you tear. She didn't even know that they did that until after the labor was over. That seems scary to me, to not know what's going on to your body.  

I'm all for whatever labor people want to have, but false information annoys me.

An epi does not make you "out of it", and least not that I have ever heard or experienced.  It's blocking sensation for the lower half of your body. It doesn't make you a tripped out drug blurred confused person.  I never had any trouble thinking clearly with my epi. In fact, without the blinding pain, I was able to think and make more rational decisions (for my case anyway).

Them giving her an episiotomy without her consent - that's a hospital/doctor issue, not an epi versus natural issue.

Choose what you want, but choose based on facts.  Oh, and then be open to change because you never quite know how it's all going to go. 

I'm a FTM and may or may not be a candidate for an epidural due to medications I'm on to support the pregnancy.  If labor goes quickly, I'll be going unmedicated.  If it doesn't, I'll probably a choice between unmedicated and epi.  

I've decided I want to be prepared as possible going in, so I've been doing my reading and will be signing up for a Bradley class soon.  I've decided I'd like to give unmedicated a shot for as long a possible.  At this point, I don't foresee myself being heartbroken or feeling like a failure (two responses I've heard a lot from friends who were 100% in favor of the unmedicated experience) if we decide an epi and/or other interventions are in our best interest along the way.