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01-12-2013 at 12:48 PM
Estwd2
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DD on a Saturday?

Wow. It wasn't even that bad. Only two of us told you it wasn't a good idea. Everyone else blew sunshine up your butt.
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01-12-2013 at 12:58 PM
discobelle
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Dads who feel the need to be controlling over the baby shower are weird.  
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01-12-2013 at 1:22 PM
Cranang
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What was the thread?
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01-12-2013 at 1:23 PM
cinderin
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discobelle:
Dads who feel the need to be controlling over the baby shower are weird.  

for sure!  
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01-12-2013 at 1:33 PM
discobelle
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Cranang:
What was the thread?

Some dude who wanted to pay for wifey's shower so it would live up to their expectations. 
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01-12-2013 at 1:40 PM
+ASH+
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I was one of the ones who "blew sunshine" (apparently that's code for giving an honest opinion). The issue was that the sister wanted to throw the shower and had no money to do so - the husband was going to foot the bill for it because it was going to have a lot of family members, so it could get pricey.

A few jumped down his throat for how inappropriate it would be, even though all he would be doing was paying for what the sister can't afford. I don't really get how uptight people get over who writes who a check, but to each their own. I certainly don't know, nor do I care, who buys the cake and decorations for every shower I go to. And the showers I've thrown, I've definitely never been asked who was involved in paying for it.
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01-12-2013 at 2:07 PM
PalmettoBa...
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I was wondering what happened to that post.  I was trying to respond to it and I kept getting an error message.  

I would be so embarrassed if my husband did something like that.  
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01-12-2013 at 2:14 PM
gimmietimm...
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PalmettoBaybee:

I was wondering what happened to that post.  I was trying to respond to it and I kept getting an error message.  

I would be so embarrassed if my husband did something like that.  

Me too.

I actually caught it before the dd. Wuss, the responses were very tame for this board.
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01-12-2013 at 2:20 PM
Estwd2
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ASH:
I was one of the ones who "blew sunshine" apparently that's code for giving an honest opinion. The issue was that the sister wanted to throw the shower and had no money to do so the husband was going to foot the bill for it because it was going to have a lot of family members, so it could get pricey.A few jumped down his throat for how inappropriate it would be, even though all he would be doing was paying for what the sister can't afford. I don't really get how uptight people get over who writes who a check, but to each their own. I certainly don't know, nor do I care, who buys the cake and decorations for every shower I go to. And the showers I've thrown, I've definitely never been asked who was involved in paying for it.
I'm on my phone and can't post a gif, but I had something really funny for this. Darn!
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01-12-2013 at 3:26 PM
Sagen
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Hmm after reading about it, I have to say that I don't think it is a big deal if he foots the bill since it is his broke sister who is throwing it. It still isn't the MTB throwing it and inviting people. I am sure the only ones who would know would be the MTB, DTB, and sister who is throwing it. Strange to DD though.
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01-12-2013 at 3:52 PM
JaynieByrd
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Well dang. I posted a pretty nice reply (a "who would even know if you paid-not a big deal" post), and I checked back to see what others had posted, and it's gone. Weird. 
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01-12-2013 at 4:51 PM
Betty&Co
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what a waste.

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01-12-2013 at 6:10 PM
Estwd2
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There's so much laughing in my head right now. I love the bumpies who post on the weekends.
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01-12-2013 at 6:28 PM
Bliss+Berr...
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Estwd2:
There's so much laughing in my head right now. I love the bumpies who post on the weekends.

Apparently I've missed something good! 
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01-13-2013 at 4:31 AM
rhubarb123
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Missed it.

I know (or rather I suspected) there were a couple of showers I went to where the MTB/DTB paid for the majority of the shower (if not all of it).  Only because I knew the hosts and that they had/have NO extra money to pay for a shower.  It's not like they were actually hosting it (setting up, getting decorations, cake, food, games, etc).  They were only paying for it.  I know that kind of defeats the "purpose" of a shower, but not everyone who has a shower actually NEEDS one.  kwim? 
 
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01-13-2013 at 5:47 AM
Estwd2
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rhubarb123:
I know or rather I suspected there were a couple of showers I went to where the MTB/DTB paid for the majority of the shower if not all of it.nbsp; Only because I knew the hosts and that they had/have NO extra money to pay for a shower.nbsp; It's not like they were actually hosting it setting up, getting decorations, cake, food, games, etc.nbsp; They were only paying for it.
Totally disagree. If you can't afford to throw a shower, you should never offer to host one. That's just rude. You're promising a party you can't deliver. If no one offers to host, then you just don't get one. If people say they don't have the money and you respond "Well, I'll pay for it" that's pretty much saying "I'm determined to have a party in my honor no matter what."
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01-13-2013 at 10:34 AM
Adam&Eve2
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+ASH+:

I was one of the ones who "blew sunshine" (apparently that's code for giving an honest opinion). The issue was that the sister wanted to throw the shower and had no money to do so - the husband was going to foot the bill for it because it was going to have a lot of family members, so it could get pricey.

A few jumped down his throat for how inappropriate it would be, even though all he would be doing was paying for what the sister can't afford. I don't really get how uptight people get over who writes who a check, but to each their own. I certainly don't know, nor do I care, who buys the cake and decorations for every shower I go to. And the showers I've thrown, I've definitely never been asked who was involved in paying for it.

The point was not that it would be advertised who payed for the shower because no one would ask. But that it doesn't make much sense to pay for your own shower. Just take the money you would spend on the shower and buy baby everything they need.

If you have to have a party to celebrate it then throw a meet the baby party after LO gets here. It's a way to celebrate the baby and new mother with out it being a gift giving event. Even though I'm sure that friends and family would bring gifts anyway. 



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01-13-2013 at 11:52 AM
MelRC117
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+ASH+:

I was one of the ones who "blew sunshine" (apparently that's code for giving an honest opinion). The issue was that the sister wanted to throw the shower and had no money to do so - the husband was going to foot the bill for it because it was going to have a lot of family members, so it could get pricey.

A few jumped down his throat for how inappropriate it would be, even though all he would be doing was paying for what the sister can't afford. I don't really get how uptight people get over who writes who a check, but to each their own. I certainly don't know, nor do I care, who buys the cake and decorations for every shower I go to. And the showers I've thrown, I've definitely never been asked who was involved in paying for it.

a shower is a gift. He should have appreciated the gesture, not get selfish. He should use that money towards baby stuff, not towards a shower. 
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01-13-2013 at 2:06 PM
PrimRoseMa...
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Sagen:
Hmm after reading about it, I have to say that I don't think it is a big deal if he foots the bill since it is his broke sister who is throwing it. It still isn't the MTB throwing it and inviting people. I am sure the only ones who would know would be the MTB, DTB, and sister who is throwing it. Strange to DD though.


That's the thing though, the sister would NOT be hosting because she is not footing the bill. The expecting couple is not to pay for ANYTHING. Otherwise it looks like they are hosting/paying to get people to buy stuff for them.

The sister should throw what she can afford. It's an honor to get a shower, not a right. If its dollar store balloons, cost co. Cake and Kool Aid then the expecting couple says thank you, slap on a smile and be gracious.

You don't deem the hostess's efforts unacceptable then bust out your American Express Platinum to pay for it yourself. That's rude.
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01-13-2013 at 10:14 PM
rhubarb123
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PrimRoseMama:
Sagen:
Hmm after reading about it, I have to say that I don't think it is a big deal if he foots the bill since it is his broke sister who is throwing it. It still isn't the MTB throwing it and inviting people. I am sure the only ones who would know would be the MTB, DTB, and sister who is throwing it. Strange to DD though.
That's the thing though, the sister would NOT be hosting because she is not footing the bill. The expecting couple is not to pay for ANYTHING. Otherwise it looks like they are hosting/paying to get people to buy stuff for them. The sister should throw what she can afford. It's an honor to get a shower, not a right. If its dollar store balloons, cost co. Cake and Kool Aid then the expecting couple says thank you, slap on a smile and be gracious. You don't deem the hostess's efforts unacceptable then bust out your American Express Platinum to pay for it yourself. That's rude.

Guess I needed to see the OP.  I thought the sister wanted to host it but couldn't afford to for some reason...but if he was willing to pay only because they wanted a "nicer" party then that is not good. 

As for the MTB/FTB paying for the shower...I don't have a problem with it if the host can not pay.  Sometimes they offer and then loose their job or have a financial emergency come up...whatever.  That person is still the host regardles of who paid for the party.  I've hosted showers for people who did not NEED to have a shower for the items, so saying they should just use the money they would spend on a shower to buy what they need doesn't make sense.  They don't NEED anything.  I knew they wanted one and I knew many people expected them to have one.  Why family didn't step up I don't know...unless they were like my family and don't believe in MILs/Moms/Sister's/SIL's hosting.
 
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01-14-2013 at 9:50 AM
MandJS
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rhubarb123:

PrimRoseMama:
Sagen:
Hmm after reading about it, I have to say that I don't think it is a big deal if he foots the bill since it is his broke sister who is throwing it. It still isn't the MTB throwing it and inviting people. I am sure the only ones who would know would be the MTB, DTB, and sister who is throwing it. Strange to DD though.
That's the thing though, the sister would NOT be hosting because she is not footing the bill. The expecting couple is not to pay for ANYTHING. Otherwise it looks like they are hosting/paying to get people to buy stuff for them. The sister should throw what she can afford. It's an honor to get a shower, not a right. If its dollar store balloons, cost co. Cake and Kool Aid then the expecting couple says thank you, slap on a smile and be gracious. You don't deem the hostess's efforts unacceptable then bust out your American Express Platinum to pay for it yourself. That's rude.

Guess I needed to see the OP.  I thought the sister wanted to host it but couldn't afford to for some reason...but if he was willing to pay only because they wanted a "nicer" party then that is not good. 

As for the MTB/FTB paying for the shower...I don't have a problem with it if the host can not pay.  Sometimes they offer and then loose their job or have a financial emergency come up...whatever.  That person is still the host regardles of who paid for the party.  I've hosted showers for people who did not NEED to have a shower for the items, so saying they should just use the money they would spend on a shower to buy what they need doesn't make sense.  They don't NEED anything.  I knew they wanted one and I knew many people expected them to have one.  Why family didn't step up I don't know...unless they were like my family and don't believe in MILs/Moms/Sister's/SIL's hosting.

But that was something you CHOSE to do. No one is entitled to a shower. It is a gift, plain and simple. 

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01-14-2013 at 11:21 AM
ggatlanta
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Heck, I wanted to host my sister's baby shower. I couldn't afford to do so and therefore I didn't offer.

I would also not offer to drive somone to work if I didn't have a car, or offer to make a pie if I didn't have an oven. It's not a gift if you can't deliver.

 
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01-14-2013 at 3:00 PM
mabjcb19
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PrimRoseMama:
Sagen:
Hmm after reading about it, I have to say that I don't think it is a big deal if he foots the bill since it is his broke sister who is throwing it. It still isn't the MTB throwing it and inviting people. I am sure the only ones who would know would be the MTB, DTB, and sister who is throwing it. Strange to DD though.
That's the thing though, the sister would NOT be hosting because she is not footing the bill. The expecting couple is not to pay for ANYTHING. Otherwise it looks like they are hosting/paying to get people to buy stuff for them. The sister should throw what she can afford. It's an honor to get a shower, not a right. If its dollar store balloons, cost co. Cake and Kool Aid then the expecting couple says thank you, slap on a smile and be gracious. You don't deem the hostess's efforts unacceptable then bust out your American Express Platinum to pay for it yourself. That's rude.

Exactly this!  If at bare minimum all you need are invites!!  If you can't afford a huge expensive cake make your own, and if you can't manage fancy decoration go with dollar store basics! 

 
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