I'm sorry he's having a tough time. In the beginning, DH didn't really open up much about his feelings and it ended up manifesting itself in anger most of the time. Now that we've been on this road for a while, he talks about how he feels much more freely and how it is incredibly hard for him to see little kids, go to family functions, etc. He even asked that we don't hang stockings by the fireplace for Christmas because it was too painful to see. Our men hurt just as much as we do, they just don't show it or talk about it. IF is one of those horrible things that both people experience and are hurting at the same time, unlike other things where one spouse is hurting and the other can be the rock.
I'm sure you know this already, but just in case you dont....hot tubs are spermageddon for sperm and if you're TTC using his it's probably a good idea for him to stay out of them. It royally sucks but it's part of it. :( We bought a new hot tub right before TTC and it was insult to injury for DH to not be able to go in it and have to sit on the side. Now that his sperm is no longer in the picture (we are using donor embryos) hot tub time has been a great place for him to open up about his feelings! I don't know what it is but DH and I have more heart to hearts in the hot tub than anywhere else in the house.
Big hug, As IF wasn't bad enough on its own, watching your husband hurt over it makes it a million times harder.