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01-13-2013 at 9:17 PM
coryjanine
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Rancho Cucamonga, Ca
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coryjanine is not online. Last active: 05-02-2013, 6:33 PMNewbie

Pregnancy and Nosy Coworkers

I'm 14 weeks today.  Go me!  My family knows, my friends know and select co-workers know.  Here's the trouble.  Do I tell everyone at work or do I just let it roll?  I work with really nosy people.  Nosy to the point that when they find out, they will make a sign to put up in our lobby congratulating me and DH (who also works where I do).  People who will hound me about it all day, everyday.  I've enjoyed my 3 months of peace but I know it's coming to an end.  I just don't need everyone in my pregnancy business. Do I say something and let it out?  Or should I just wait and people will notice on their own?  How do I tell people to butt out without offending people and is that possible?  Does anyone else feel annoyed by nosy coworkers?


 
01-13-2013 at 9:27 PM
+ASH+
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+ASH+ is not online. Last active: 05-12-2013, 1:52 PMBronze
I wouldn't say a word and would just let people find out as they find out. You might get some speculation behind your back that you're pregnant, but if it gives you more peace for a longer period of time - it's no one's business (except those close to you) what's happening and everyone else can deal with not knowing.

DS1 - 9; DS2 - 6; Angel - May 10, 2011; Baby Girl - Due May 19, 2013 
01-13-2013 at 9:45 PM
prazenjc
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Chicagoland
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prazenjc is not online. Last active: 05-15-2013, 2:55 AMGold
i'm an open book and ended up telling way earlier this time than w/DS. there were plenty at work that even knew right away w/DS. so, i can't personally relate w/your dilemma. i do recommend you not make a big deal and tell everyone, but when opportunities arise and YOU feel like it, then do. don't over think it, just let it happen how it happens. when you do tell, you can share that you don't want a big deal made about it and leave it at that. if people disregard your wishes, that is on them. you can just make the request and then walk in grace if they "make a big deal."

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01-13-2013 at 10:02 PM
AudUy
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I highly value my privacy and I've been told by my co-workers that I'm very understated. I just let word of my pregnancy slowly get out as it did. The one thing that was very important in my situation was to inform my boss so he didn't hear about it from other people. I had one person act really hurt when she found out but I let it slide off as I honestly hadn't meant to hurt her and I just couldn't worry about it. I had another co-worker who found out when I was 17 weeks and she felt kind of silly and I made sure she knew that I wasn't bothered and I had never announced. If you also decide not to announce formally, I recommend being prepared to brush off the comments from people who will act personally insulted. Your pregnancy, your decision.

BFP#1 11/25/11 EDD 08/09/12 MMC 01/30/12 D&C 02/01/12
BFP#2 09/11/12 beta1=72 @13dpo beta2=160 @14dpo beta3=over 6000 @24dpo U/S @7w2dd hb=146bpm U/S @8w5d hb=159bpm U/S @12w hb=164bpm
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01-14-2013 at 6:55 AM
lily_721
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lily_721 is online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 7:44 PMBronze

I work for a fairly large company and had a former co-worker find out through a "confidential" conversation I had with a mutual "friend."  She decided to tell a large amount of my immediate colleagues.  I was pretty annoyed with all involved and myself. 

Once I was over being outted by someone that I don't care for, it was easier for people just to find out when they find out.

Honestly most co-workers usually aren't my real friends and most won't ever see my child.  I try to keep my personal life out of my business life however its hard with the belly.  Its more about how you react, do you gush and tell details or do you confirm, thank, and move on? 


together since 2006
full time stepmom to SS1 and SS2 since 2010
married since 2011

TTC since 7/2011 (no planned bc since 2008)
HSG 11/2011: one blocked tube
S/A 2/2012 and retest S/A 3/2012: normal
Bloodwork: normal
2nd HSG 5/2012: clear
Femara cycle 5mg #1 7/14/12 + IUI #1 7/23/12 = bfn
New RE appt 8/14/12
IVF #1 meds 8/30/12. ER 9/14/2012: 7 retrieved, 6 fertilized. ET 9/19/12: 1 perfect embryo 5dt.
Beta #1 BFP! 97
Beta #2 234
Beta #3 4937
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10/20/12 graduated!!!
EDD 6/7/12

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01-14-2013 at 10:03 AM
mainerocks
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Massachusetts
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mainerocks is online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 7:42 PMGold
As long as your boss and close friend/coworkers know already, I would just let the rumor mill work it for the rest.

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01-14-2013 at 10:18 AM
Luthy
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Luthy is online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 7:41 PMSilver
I agree with PPs -- as long as your boss knows just let the rumor mill go. It's easier that way. That's what I did -- I told my boss and a coworker I'm pretty close to, and then just stopped actively trying to hide it once I was more comfortable, and now everyone knows but I didn't have to deal with big congratulations or having to do a big announcement or anything. Much nicer that way.

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01-14-2013 at 2:45 PM
pamperedgi...
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pamperedgirl83 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 6:42 PMBronze
i would just let people find out as they do. there were people i told right away and there are others who just figured it out last week.

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01-14-2013 at 6:20 PM
wcvsb3b5
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Little Falls, NY
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wcvsb3b5 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 3:42 PMBronze
I wouldn't say anything. I only told the coworkers I am close to. Everyone else figured it out eventually.

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01-15-2013 at 10:19 AM
Bubsy2013
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Bubsy2013 is not online. Last active: 02-25-2013, 11:37 AMNewbie
I told everyone on my team last week and it went great.  Everyone was very excited about it, and have just asked me now and then how I am feeling.  I don't like encouraging gossip or rumors, so for me it was better that I get it out.  It has been a very good experience.  :)

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01-23-2013 at 1:14 AM
MommySms
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MommySms is not online. Last active: 04-25-2013, 1:18 AMNewbie
If they annoy you tell them they annoy you. You need to set boundaries. If you don't make an announcement they'll figure it out eventually. If people start saying or doing things you don't like you have every right to express your feelings. If they get upset they'll get over it. This is what I would do. Just tell it like it is. You can be polite about it. There's ways to do it without sounding like an ass but all these concerns will become reality if you don't say something.
 
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