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01-14-2013 at 7:43 AM
Minnesotan...
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Are you supposed to serve a meal at a baby shower?

My mom is hosting a baby shower for me.  She suggested having the shower start between 2 and 3 PM so that no meal is necessary.  Instead, she suggested having a fruit plate, cheese plate, dessert, etc.

The showers I have attended recently have all served lunch.  Is this an expectation?  (And if so, maybe we should push the shower up to be at 12 or 1?)

Thanks for any tips!  I'm a little clueless on this etiquette... and I think my mom is too.

 
01-14-2013 at 7:46 AM
Estwd2
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That time is generally after lunch, so it's fine to not serve a full meal. But I'd personally serve more than a fruit plate and cheese plate. Basically heavy apps plus dessert.

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01-14-2013 at 7:58 AM
RoxyLynn
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Your Mom's plans sound very nice, and entirely within the bounds of etiquette.  The only time a meal should be served is if the event is at a regular mealtime.  Hosting at 2ish is perfectly fine for hors d'ouerves.

I think it can be done well, and I would have loved it, but taking all of the crappy parts of school away from a kid isn't good for them in the long run.

There are lessons like "Not everyone likes you" and "Some people are douche bags" that you don't learn without socializing in a large group of poorly supervised children.
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01-14-2013 at 8:04 AM
blush64
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If it's not at a meal time I suppose you aren't required to serve a meal. You also have to consider how long the shower will run. Will it run into the next meal time? We always have apps and a full meal at our showers.

I have never been to a shower regardless of start time that didn't serve a meal. They are guests and should be treated well. Enough food and drinks to be comfortable. I agree with PP, the food you mentioned is not enough.

 
01-14-2013 at 8:28 AM
1026pumpki...
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I think if you're starting at 2 or 3, it's fine not to serve a full meal.  You might want to consider having something else a little more substantial in addition to fruit and cheese, though- maybe finger sandwiches or pasta salads?

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01-14-2013 at 8:55 AM
mccall35
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My sister just hosted my baby shower last Saturday. It started at 2pm, she didn't serve a full meal, however the menu included: a fruit tray, veggie tray, a flatbread pizza, a hot spinach and cheese dip, and an assortment of tea sandwiches. For dessert there was apple pie and cheesecake. It was fabulous, and everyone seemed pleased with the selection/amount of food.  

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01-14-2013 at 9:05 AM
MelRC117
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I don't know if this is 100% within etiquette, but she may want to just put on the invite something like "Snacks (or appetizers) and drinks will be served" so no one is confused.  I agree that at a 2pm shower I would not expect a meal but some people might be unsure.  Im invited to a 1pm shower and I still wasn't expecting lunch, but it says right on the invite that lunch and drinks will be served.  I think with the time your mom is looking at its more than okay to NOT serve a meal.

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01-14-2013 at 10:01 AM
526SadieSa...
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2-3 pm is just fine for appetizers/desserts.  I wouldn't expect to have a meal at that time of day.

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01-14-2013 at 10:11 AM
JenniD2
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Since 2-3 PM is generally not a meal time, I do not see a problem with only offering appetizers. However, I would probably have something more than just fruit and cheese. You could have little sandwiches with the fruit and cheese.

Also, if you really want to let guests know that it will only be appetizers, you could have a theme like a tea and biscuits shower. This way, the guests go in not expecting a full meal.


 
01-14-2013 at 11:05 AM
Darbie914
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1026pumpkin:
I think if you're starting at 2 or 3, it's fine not to serve a full meal.  You might want to consider having something else a little more substantial in addition to fruit and cheese, though- maybe finger sandwiches or pasta salads?

 This.  People may not necessarily be super hungry at this time but it's nice to have heavier apps than just a cheese and fruit plate.   


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01-14-2013 at 12:19 PM
Spacebunny...
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Usually the time of day dictates what is served for food.  If it's at a meal time (I'd say anytime between 11 and 1) lunch would be served.  Later than that, I'd assume it would be light apps only and cake/desserts. 

From the PP's, the only thing I differ from I guess is the idea of what is "a full meal."  You can get a "full meal" from a sufficient amount of heavy apps, fruit, cheese, etc.  In fact, most baby showers I've been to have had "lighter" meals even when they are "meals." The typical fare is finger sandwiches, some veggies, cheeses, fruit, some other appetizer, and some dips/chips/etc.  It definitely fills you up so it's a full meal, even if it's not, say, a big old lasagna or something.   

If you feel your guests would expect more than cheese & fruit & cake, then go for it, but I think you're okay with what you are serving based on when it was held.  (I'd definitely eat before a party that started at 2 because that's too late for lunch and I'd expect it would be over before dinner.)  It's also fine to put it on the invite, "Light refreshments will be served" so people are all on the same page.  


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01-14-2013 at 12:25 PM
jess9802
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My shower was at 2PM, and the hostesses served pinwheel sandwiches, pigs in a blanket, fruit and veggie trays, chips and dip, cheese and crackers, meatballs, chocolate fondue, punch, and cake. Not quite lunch but a lot of food, and it was delicious.
01-14-2013 at 12:27 PM
Disneygeek...
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I agree with PPs.  You don't need a full meal but it would be nice for the guests to have a few more treats to choose from. 
 
01-14-2013 at 1:54 PM
oliversmom...
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stw_77:
I agree with PPs.  You don't need a full meal but it would be nice for the guests to have a few more treats to choose from. 

This!  


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01-14-2013 at 2:43 PM
rpalen29
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i would serve some type of food, maybe a tray of pasta salad, potato salad, maybe some finger sandwhiches, fruit and cheese platter sounds good too. Having a lot of food is better than having not enough food. 

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01-14-2013 at 3:59 PM
danuli8
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My hostesses are doing a lunch shower with soups and hot sandwiches since it will be February and people will probably want hot foods.

It couldn't hurt to put "light refreshments will be served" on the invitations if you don't want to do heavy appetizers.


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01-14-2013 at 8:09 PM
rhubarb123
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oliversmom03:

stw_77:
I agree with PPs.  You don't need a full meal but it would be nice for the guests to have a few more treats to choose from. 

This!  

I agree, but do keep in mind how far your guests have to travel.  I went to one shower that was well over an hour away.  It started at 2.  I left church and drove directly there.  They had just a few things (chips/dip, veggie tray, dessert).  I stopped on the way home for lunch.  lol  The only other thing is if the shower lasts any longer then 3 hours you are definitely getting into the dinner time (5-6).

 
01-15-2013 at 9:24 AM
-auntie-
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When I threw my niece's shower, we did a proper tea. Tea, coffee, champagne punch, tea sandwiches, fruit plate, scones, little desserts and a cake.
 
01-15-2013 at 12:31 PM
stephweins...
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Estwd2:
That time is generally after lunch, so it's fine to not serve a full meal. But I'd personally serve more than a fruit plate and cheese plate. Basically heavy apps plus dessert.

I agree with this.  I think it's tacky when you're invited to a party and there's not enough to eat.


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01-15-2013 at 2:24 PM
Ladiebug71...
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No, if the shower is between meal times then a meal is not expected.

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