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01-14-2013 at 6:15 PM
jezebel57
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jezebel57 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 7:08 PMBronze

totally freaking out. just read consent forms and psyching myself out.

so i'm about to lose it.  just read all the wonderful consent forms "you may die" etc... risks and i am freaking out.  i'm wondering if i should even do this and maybe i am not meant to have biological children and should go for adoption.  

the retrieval is what is freaking me out the most, along with the chance of OHSS (which my dr. did say is unlikely because of my AMH level).  i know logically that millions of people have this done and the risks are minimal, but i can't help but be scared to death about undertaking such a huge thing.  

i go for my sono tomorrow and consent signing wednesday.  i think because we are putting a deposit down on wednesday and it is making it final is why i am freaking.  

is this a normal thing to be feeling right before a cycle?  my anxiety is through the roof.   


Me (37) DH (39); Finally correctly diagnosed with DOR in 2012; Started TTC 2009; RE 2009/2010- RE cycle #1 clomid+ ovidrel + TI = BFN; RE cycle #2 clomid + ovidrel + TI=BFN; RE cycle #3 femara + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #4 75iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #5 150iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI = BFN ; Took a break and had Weight loss surgery in 2011, back to new RE in 2012 ; AMH 0.43 IVF #1 /ICSI and AH; MDL protocol - ER 2/11 5R, 3M, 2F Three day transfer of 8 cell grade 3 and 8 cell grade 2 embryos. BFN. RPL testing shows homo MTHFR and hetero PAI-1. IVF #2 antagonist-ER 5/14 8R 6M 5F. Three day transfer of 3 embies. 6 cell grade 3, 4 cell grade 2, 5 cell grade 3. Hoping and praying. Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
01-14-2013 at 6:44 PM
Freeman212...
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Freeman2121 is not online. Last active: 04-03-2013, 3:39 PMNewbie

It is normal. I don't blame you, not only do you have the stress of the journey, but then to have to read/hear the risks, choose what to do with embryos if you die, get divorced, ect. There is nothing easy about infertity. I would have to say, the retrieval itself is my favorite. They give you those wonderful drugs that knock you out. You don't have to do anything other than sleep

Best wishes to you


TTC since 2006 3 Fertility Clinics Test, Pills & Injectables....oh my. Numerous failed IUI's 7 or 8 or more? IVF #1 June 2012 ~ praying this is the only one ER 6/13/12 - 13 ret, 7 fertilized, 7 progressing, ET 6/15/12, BFN & No freeze babies. Onto IVF #2 in October 2012. No, wait, body not cooperating. IVF #2 in November 2012 IVF #2 Began Provera in Sept to make me start. Never started. I O'd on my own??? 2 weeks of BCPs. Period. Baseline & Labs 10/25 Stims started 10/26 ~ 225 Follistim in the am. 150 Bravelle & 5 Lupron in pm. Trigger 11/4, ER 11/6, ET 11/9 - 2 great embies. 3 Freezebabies. Beta 11/23/2012 BFN. Now what??? I don't know if I can keep going? Daisypath Anniversary tickers I know the Lord would put a strong desire in my heart if it wasn't meant to be. - Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (NIV) - . - ~Everyone Welcome~ 
01-14-2013 at 6:47 PM
asilwhite
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asilwhite is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 8:50 PMSilver

I think it's completely normal to feel really anxious before starting a IVF cycle. It's a big commitment, emotionally, financially and physically and can be overwhelming at times. Also - those consent forms don't help with the anxiety either.

Take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. Maybe try some meditation/relaxation like Cir.cle & Blo.om or acupuncture - that really helps me to relax and try not to worry. GL and I hope your anxiety level goes down!


Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
TTC #1 since May 2011 | Me: 28, DH: 28 | DX: MFI
BFP #1 - April 15, 2012 (CP on April 17)
IUIs #1 - #3 (August - October '12) = BFFN
IVF #1.1 (Nov/Dec '12): Cancelled due to 18mm cyst - UGH
IVF #1.2 (Dec/Jan '12/'13): 5dt of 1 "perfect" 1AA blast on 1/26 (2 frosties) = BFP!!!
EDD October 14, 2013
Everyone welcome!
My Blog

Can't wait to meet our little boy!!  BabyFruit Ticker 
01-14-2013 at 6:47 PM
Crystal120...
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Crystal120410 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 9:10 PMBronze
It's a scary process, especially when your shelling out a ton of dough. The "you may die" part is so slim of a chance. Any time anesthesia is used they have to tell you that but it's not a likely thing. You'll be ok, just breathe. Good luck

Married 9-10-11
Together 6 years before marriage
Me 26 DH 28
TTC since 9/2011
Dx endo 2007 Sx laparoscopy
End bcp 9/2011
Dx annovulatory, DOR, Low AMH
Hysteroscopy due to polyp 2-1-12
IUI#1-3 Cancelled due to low response
IUI#4 BFFN
IVF#1 8/30 Beta#1 256, 8/31 Beta#2 482 BFP!! M/C 5w3d
FET#1 Cancelled due to uterine fluid and thin lining
FET#1.2Cancelled due to abnormal bleeding
Hysteroscopy 12/28/12 All clear
FET#1.3 2/2013 Cancelled
FET #1.4 3/19 BFFN
Good Luck to All!!
Crystal
Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic Daisypath Anniversary tickers
 
01-14-2013 at 7:02 PM
kflynn81
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kflynn81 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 9:08 PMBronze

I agree...the retrieval is the best part. If I'm saying that it must be true, because I totally have control issues. You sleep sooooo sound that day though its amazing, LOL :)

Anxiety is totally normal. I think everyone gets it around consent form signing time. Breathe deep, you'll get through it!!

Good luck!


Anniversary
Me(31): Possibly Adult Growth Hormone Deficiency caused by a mutation in my pituitary genes called PIT-1--Also, Factor V Leiden
DH (31): Borderline low morph, but not considered a problem
"Baby dancing" with no protection or BCP since July 2009
IF testing started March 2011
Endocrinology related tests from October 2011-February 2012
March 2012--Clomid --No response-Straight to injects!
April & May 2012-- IUI#1 & #2 = BFN
July 2012- IVF#1 cancelled
September 2012-IVF#1.2--BFN
November 2012- IVF #2 --BFN
January 2013- IVF #3-- BFFN
February 2013--Found a new RE but first back to the Endocrinologist for more diagnostic testing
Absolutely no idea when we can cycle again...looking into DE as well if IVF#4 fails again
PAIF/SAIF encouraged...give me some hope!!
For detailed cycle info. see right side of blog... Kate's IF Blog
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01-14-2013 at 7:20 PM
jadwedd
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jadwedd is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 8:13 PMBronze
Yeah the whole if you both die what do you want us to do with the embryos totally shook me. All of a sudden I was driving a little bit more carefully!  The et is a breeze really.  You go and and they give you anestesia, but not like they do for surgery you just get really groggy.  But I was a pain and kept trying to stay awake because I was super excited to find out what we got and then if I fell asleep I would snore and wake myself up and the woman kept trying to get me to go to sleep but I was having none of it.  And mine was difficult because for some reason my one ovary is shy and hides behind my uterus.  Makes those internals so fun and he had to go through my uterus to get to it.  It would twinge a little bit and they would give me more meds.  But other than that I felt nothing and would do it again.  It was paying for it all that gave me the most anxiety. 

Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
01-14-2013 at 7:29 PM
jezebel57
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jezebel57 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 7:08 PMBronze

thank you freeman, i am going to repeat that to myself a thousand times when laying down to try to sleep tonight (the retrieval is my favorite, the retrieval is my favorite".  i like not having to do anything but sleep.  wondering if that's why i'm freaked out about it.  control freaks don't like not doing anything!  

i've calmed down a bit after listening to meditation tapes for ivf and am hoping to be able to get some sleep. :)  thanks again.  


Me (37) DH (39); Finally correctly diagnosed with DOR in 2012; Started TTC 2009; RE 2009/2010- RE cycle #1 clomid+ ovidrel + TI = BFN; RE cycle #2 clomid + ovidrel + TI=BFN; RE cycle #3 femara + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #4 75iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #5 150iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI = BFN ; Took a break and had Weight loss surgery in 2011, back to new RE in 2012 ; AMH 0.43 IVF #1 /ICSI and AH; MDL protocol - ER 2/11 5R, 3M, 2F Three day transfer of 8 cell grade 3 and 8 cell grade 2 embryos. BFN. RPL testing shows homo MTHFR and hetero PAI-1. IVF #2 antagonist-ER 5/14 8R 6M 5F. Three day transfer of 3 embies. 6 cell grade 3, 4 cell grade 2, 5 cell grade 3. Hoping and praying. Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
01-14-2013 at 7:30 PM
jezebel57
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21,818 Points
jezebel57 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 7:08 PMBronze
thank you asilwhite, i haven't tried circle and bloom but do have some zita somebody ivf meditation that i am trying to do nightly.  i had acupuncture on friday and am scheduled again this week so will be asking for the relaxation cocktail.  :) 

Me (37) DH (39); Finally correctly diagnosed with DOR in 2012; Started TTC 2009; RE 2009/2010- RE cycle #1 clomid+ ovidrel + TI = BFN; RE cycle #2 clomid + ovidrel + TI=BFN; RE cycle #3 femara + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #4 75iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #5 150iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI = BFN ; Took a break and had Weight loss surgery in 2011, back to new RE in 2012 ; AMH 0.43 IVF #1 /ICSI and AH; MDL protocol - ER 2/11 5R, 3M, 2F Three day transfer of 8 cell grade 3 and 8 cell grade 2 embryos. BFN. RPL testing shows homo MTHFR and hetero PAI-1. IVF #2 antagonist-ER 5/14 8R 6M 5F. Three day transfer of 3 embies. 6 cell grade 3, 4 cell grade 2, 5 cell grade 3. Hoping and praying. Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
01-14-2013 at 7:32 PM
jezebel57
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jezebel57 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 7:08 PMBronze
thanks everyone, i really truly do appreciate all of you and the ability to share and freak out in this virtual support group i have grown to love.  i have been trying to be really positive about everything going smoothly and wonderfully and guess it's normal to have a freak out every once in awhile.  i go see a counselor every 2 weeks and she has been through IVF and will calm me down tomorrow at my appointment lol.  thank goodness! :) 

Me (37) DH (39); Finally correctly diagnosed with DOR in 2012; Started TTC 2009; RE 2009/2010- RE cycle #1 clomid+ ovidrel + TI = BFN; RE cycle #2 clomid + ovidrel + TI=BFN; RE cycle #3 femara + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #4 75iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #5 150iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI = BFN ; Took a break and had Weight loss surgery in 2011, back to new RE in 2012 ; AMH 0.43 IVF #1 /ICSI and AH; MDL protocol - ER 2/11 5R, 3M, 2F Three day transfer of 8 cell grade 3 and 8 cell grade 2 embryos. BFN. RPL testing shows homo MTHFR and hetero PAI-1. IVF #2 antagonist-ER 5/14 8R 6M 5F. Three day transfer of 3 embies. 6 cell grade 3, 4 cell grade 2, 5 cell grade 3. Hoping and praying. Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
01-14-2013 at 7:57 PM
SCrier
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SCrier is not online. Last active: 04-24-2013, 8:05 PMNewbie

I agree with the first woman that said the retrieval is her favorite part. At that time you are done with the shots and bloodwork, they put you to sleep and you get to relax.  Yes, the paperwork is scary but you see the number of couples going through this and you realize everyone comes out fine and its just protocol.  Sending you good luck and hope its a success!!! 

 
01-14-2013 at 8:01 PM
firesiren
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19,970 Points
firesiren is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 9:42 PMBronze
Honestly the paperwork is the worst part of ER.  Well and then you get the 2 week wait.  Good luck to you!!  Hang in there!

Me; 35 DH 32 TTC for over 2 years First mini-IVF Sept 2011... Only 1 egg! ... BFN Switching RE IVF#2 May 2012 9 eggs and only 2 sperm, WTH! BFN IVF#3 Chemical... FML. 2 frosties. SAIF/PAIF ALWAYS WELCOME!!!!!
My Idle Oven Blog!
*~God gives his hardest battles to his toughest solders. Unknown.
 
01-14-2013 at 8:08 PM
ball.and.c...
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ball.and.chain is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 12:51 AMBronze

It freaked me out too.  I will say that it feels like a much bigger deal BEFORE you go through it than after.  Having gone through it, I would do it again without a question.  I hope I don't have to, but I would.


Married my wife 8/2007 *** TTC #1 since 7/2011
4 IUIs w/ midwives = 4 BFNs
5 IUIs w/ an RE = 5 BFNs
IVF October/November 2012
ER 11/1: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized!
ET 11/6: 1 blast transferred, 5 frozen
BFP 11/15! Beta #1: 104 Beta #2: 613 Beta #3: 3415
Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E 12/13
FET 1 cancelled
FET 1.1: ET 4/30: 1 blast transferred
BFP 5/7! Beta #1: 142 Beta #2: 730 Beta #3: 3100
*Everyone welcome*

 BabyFruit Ticker 
01-14-2013 at 8:28 PM
LaineyPane...
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34,991 Points
LaineyPaney is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 8:24 PMSilver

PAIF response:

I had mixed emotions doing all of the paperwork. I was ready for the next step...ready for all of it to be over....ready to feel like our family was complete. And, yet, you sign off on those SERIOUS risks and it is totally FREAKY! 

If you think it will help to read about others' experience, here's our ER & ET story from September....

ER:

http://lifeisjustsodaily.blogspot.com/2012/09/my-human-caviar.html

ET: 

http://lifeisjustsodaily.blogspot.com/2012/09/first-baby-photos.html

 

Super good luck!!!!


wedding countdown  
01-14-2013 at 9:19 PM
Lacyj67
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Lacyj67 is not online. Last active: 05-06-2013, 2:02 AMBronze
The retrevial will feel like a breeze once you have endured a two week wait! Good luck!

Me 32 and DH 37 married in aug. 2002 Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 IVF #1 May 2012 ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN Hysteroscopy 7/12/12 D&C preformed and one Polyp removed MINI IVF Oct.2012 Cancelled 10-27-12 Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013 Ivf #3 Cancelled April 22nd 2013 Hopefully when the healing begins we will move on to DE. Everyone Welcome  
01-14-2013 at 9:38 PM
Happy_Yaho...
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Happy_Yahoo_Personaler is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 1:05 AMBronze

Yes, it's completely normal to be a bit freaked out by the whole thing.  I was terrified that I would have some sort of bleed after the procedure or that, worse, the drugs wouldn't knock me out.  Turns out - the drugs are pretty darn wonderful!  The doctor was all "I'm going to administer the drugs now," I felt fuzzy for half a second, and then BAM! I was waking up and everything was over.

I agree that there is a lot to take in/consider when filling out the forms.  Go with your gut instincts and remember, the risks are minimal.  They just have to let you know up front to cover their own butts.

I remember feeling the same way as you after the IVF information session that my doctor requires everyone thinking of doing IVF to attend.  I remember being terrified and wondering if it was worth it and feeling very down about the whole thing.  But my desire to do everything and anything to be a mom won out.

 I wish you all the best.


4/12/10 - Began TTC 8/2012 - IFV #1 - 18 follicles retrieved, 11 usable, 10 fertilized, 9 continued to grow, 2 tranferred, BFN :( 9/2012 - Treated for uterine infection 10/2012 - Uterine infection cleared up 11/12/12- Began IVF #2 12/19/12 - 2 embryos tranferred 12/24/12 - Tested Christmas Eve morning - BFP!!! :) 12/28/12 - Beta #1 - 193 12/31/12 - Beta #2 - 624 1/7/13 - Beta #3 - 7544 1/14/13 - Beta #4 - 31,067 1/16/13 - IT'S TWINS!!!! Two healthy heartbeats! Due Date - 9/6/13 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers  
01-15-2013 at 9:12 AM
jezebel57
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Joined on 12-20-2012
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jezebel57 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 7:08 PMBronze

thank you guys... i love reading about stories of those who have gone through it already and still have positive things to say.  the needles aren't bothering me since I"ve done those before (well, maybe I'm a bit nervous about the IM shots, HCG and PIO), but the consent forms is what is making it "real" for me. :) 

I really appreciate everyone taking the time to help calm me down.  I'm nervous today anyway due to the sono and any calming stories are always so helpful to me.  thanks again!


Me (37) DH (39); Finally correctly diagnosed with DOR in 2012; Started TTC 2009; RE 2009/2010- RE cycle #1 clomid+ ovidrel + TI = BFN; RE cycle #2 clomid + ovidrel + TI=BFN; RE cycle #3 femara + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #4 75iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #5 150iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI = BFN ; Took a break and had Weight loss surgery in 2011, back to new RE in 2012 ; AMH 0.43 IVF #1 /ICSI and AH; MDL protocol - ER 2/11 5R, 3M, 2F Three day transfer of 8 cell grade 3 and 8 cell grade 2 embryos. BFN. RPL testing shows homo MTHFR and hetero PAI-1. IVF #2 antagonist-ER 5/14 8R 6M 5F. Three day transfer of 3 embies. 6 cell grade 3, 4 cell grade 2, 5 cell grade 3. Hoping and praying. Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
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