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01-15-2013 at 1:40 AM
ohlily
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Self Soothing, Yay or nay?

My son just turned 3 mo. I have to admit he is used to being in the arms and hates to be on his own. I try putting him down as often as I can but all he does is cry, he is my first baby and I hate to hear him cry so I usually pick him up right away. I've been getting mixed advice to let him self sooth and to let him work it out on his own or to pick him up because hes still so young. I feel like hes still so young he can learn to self sooth later. Would love to hear other thoughts on the issue. 
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01-15-2013 at 2:23 AM
RissKay
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For my own sanity, I don't pick LO up every time he cries. I'll check, make sure he's ok, and give myself a minute before I go to him directly. Not that I enjoy hearing him cry at ALL, but I just can't get myself into the habit of being constantly at his beck and call, cause I'd go out of my mind. ;) 

4ish months is when they start being able to soothe themselves. I would count to 20 before picking up a crying baby if you know they're OK; sometimes they're crying to get energy out, too.  
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01-15-2013 at 2:29 AM
Kimbus22
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At that age we let him be if he was fussing but picked him up if he went into full on crying.

Actually that's pretty much what we still do for the most part.

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01-15-2013 at 6:27 AM
Betty&Co
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Nay. Three months is too early to self soothe. Most legitimate research suggests that you don't leave baby to self soothe before 6 months old. If he's crying at this age, it's because he needs something.

I prayed for this child, and the lord has granted me what I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27


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01-15-2013 at 7:38 AM
mejane123
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MrsNorry:
Nay. Three months is too early to self soothe. Most legitimate research suggests that you don't leave baby to self soothe before 6 months old. If he's crying at this age, it's because he needs something.


This. Also, ditto waiting a minute before picking him up. At first I would go right to DD when she would let out a cry, but then once I realized she sometimes just let's out one quick wail that sounds serious, but really isn't. I guess it's just her way of figuring her noises out. Just make sure you're picking him up only when it's a serious cry to figure out the problem and maybe just do a little baby massage on his belly and chest if he's just fussy.
 
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01-15-2013 at 9:05 AM
bearkatjen
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Nay. Babies under 6 months can't self sooth. All the baby's "wants" are needs at this age. If he wants to be held, it's because he needs to be held.
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01-15-2013 at 9:27 AM
BrittanyDo...
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I let her fuss a bit by herself because she will occasionally calm right back down. She fusses in her sleep sometimes. If she starts to cry, I go soothe her. If young babies cry, they need something. They can't manipulate you this early or self-soothe.

 
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01-15-2013 at 10:40 AM
brooke&rya...
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I agree with the waiting a minute before going and picking him up. Usually he will fuss a little and then fall asleep on his own.

 If he starts crying we generally know that something is wrong and change, burp, feed him etc. and then put him back down.

Sometimes at this age all they might need is a little extra love

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01-15-2013 at 11:36 AM
BabyMakes ...
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If he is really angry, I can tell the difference between a fake/lazy/tired cry, and a really angry one. If it's angry, i pick him up. If not, I'll give him 2-3 minutes and sometimes he's asleep by then... hth
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01-15-2013 at 12:14 PM
kerbear135
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I agree with pp about waiting a few seconds before p/up you LO unless they are full-on crying. Our LO sometimes fusses and then goes right back to sleep, or sometimes when she's "talking", it sounds like she's about to cry until you look at her face and see it's a happy face and not an upset face.
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01-15-2013 at 12:24 PM
buffyverrb...
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kerbear135:
I agree with pp about waiting a few seconds before p/up you LO unless they are full-on crying. Our LO sometimes fusses and then goes right back to sleep, or sometimes when she's "talking", it sounds like she's about to cry until you look at her face and see it's a happy face and not an upset face.

This. My DH used to get so anxious because he thought DD was crying, but I'd say, look at her face. She's happy, she's just making some noise, it's just the only one she knows how to make so far. You get to know a "cry" from "talking / fussing" I ALWAYS respond to a cry, I give it a minute for fussing.  
 
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01-15-2013 at 12:25 PM
MomtoH
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You have a newborn- pick him up when he cries.  3-4 months seems awfully young to just let them cry.  Heck, I don't even let my 11 month old cry for more than 5 minutes.  They are babies and they cry for a reason- be it for a tangible need such as food or a emotional need such as needing comfort, closeness (you know, like they had in the womb for 9 months), etc.
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01-15-2013 at 1:27 PM
NoeliaV
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My LO sometimes fusses in her sleep but those are very short fusses. Otherwise, I pick her up every time she cries, which thankfully, isn't too much. imo, 3 months is still too young to let them cry without trying to soothe them.
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01-15-2013 at 1:58 PM
ChristyML
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No I don't let him cry (I have a 3 month old). Sometimes there's nothing I can do though, and I just make sure he's clean, fed, and warm, and I'll go lay him down because I'll feel a little helpless (and frustrated). This has only happened less than 5 times so far, so I don't feel awful.

ETA: I understand what it's like to get mixed advice. My mil told me to let him cry it out at about 2 months old (actually a little less). I've learned to not take her advice. It's usually messed up. 
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