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01-15-2013 at 7:54 AM
Likacutiep...
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Likacutiepie is not online. Last active: 01-27-2013, 10:36 AMNewbie

How long should I wait to TTC after a loss?

Hi everyone!

I'm 23yrs old ad I have pcos, I recently had a chemical pregnancy, which makes loss4 : I'm devastated but I guess the worst part is having friends who are pregnant tell me I shouldn't feel sad because it was never a baby :
I had my dr appt yesterday and my dr wants to start me on my second round of ClomidI got pregnant first cycle 50mg, and use progesterone suppositories starting a week after ovulation.... Well, I told my friends about it and now they are calling me irresponsible and selfish for trying so soon after a loss, their words are so hurtful I'm at loss of what to do... So here I am asking for your opinion, because I can't tell my family that at 23 I have to go thru fertility treatment to get pregnant : I feel so discouraged...
 
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01-15-2013 at 7:57 AM
CLECyclist
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First of all, I am very sorry for your losses.

I would think your doctor would have the conversation with you, as to when it was safe to try again. As for how mentally ready you are, that's up to you.

Have you had any testing to determine if there's a reason why you've experienced so many losses?


TTC since October 2011.
DX with Non-IR PCOS in October 2012.
Missing RIGHT tube due to a prior surgery to remove cyst-zilla (40 lbs!) at age 12.
HSG showed tube was blocked - cleared by dye. DON'T DO CLOMID WITHOUT AN HSG!
Cycle #8 with 50mg Clomid & TI = BFN
Cycle #9 with 50mg Clomid & TI = No response.
Cycle #10 with Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel shot = BFN
Cycle #11 is a break cycle. Cycle #12 is a break cycle. (The break so nice, she did it twice!) 
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01-15-2013 at 7:58 AM
krptcmschf...
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I'm sorry for your loss. Honestly, after a CP, it's a personal choice. Some women wait a month, some women try again right away. I didn't take off a month after my CP, and we still tried. I didn't get pregnant, but we still tried. Your friends are being insensitive and I'd tell them to shut up, but that's just me.

As far as the clomid, only take it if the doctor plans on monitoring you with ultrasounds during the treatment. Is this an OB or an RE you are seeing?


Started dating DH 06/06/2009

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01-15-2013 at 7:58 AM
swirl25
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I can't speak to the fertility treatments, but what your so called friends have said to you is absolutely horrible. With friends like those, who needs enemies? I'm very sorry for your losses, that you're going through a difficult time and aren't getting the support you need. I hope you get the answers you are looking for soon.
2.0 is on the way! | EDD: 12/19/2013 BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
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01-15-2013 at 8:03 AM
Slapalicio...
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First, I am so incredibly sorry for your losses.

A loss is a loss, whether it's early or late.  Don't let anyone belittle what you've been through.  Your friends are incredibly insensitive. 

Also, I'm guessing that your friends aren't doctors. They have no right to comment on what is or isn't right.

Are you seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE)?  Has your doctor done any sort of testing to try to figure out why you've had so many losses?  If so, what kind of tests?  Will your doctor be monitoring you while you're on Clomid?
\m/ (>.<) \m/
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Click here to read the Welcome Post, especially if you're new to the TTGP board!
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01-15-2013 at 8:05 AM
Likacutiep...
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Thanks ladies! I am at loss of words for what the girls I thought were my friends said to me... I have been tested for almost everything, and so far all my blood work has come back normal, my dr told me that one of my blood clotting blood work came back mildly positive. I forgot the name, but I have to redo the test in 2 weeks to see if still comes back positive.
I am seeing my OB, who prescribed me both metformin and Clomid. I am stationed overseas with my husband, and unfortunately the women's clinic on base does not monitor us while on Clomid, so it's pretty much wait and see if it works... I want a baby more than words can ever describe, but the fear my body will fail me once again is driving me crazy :[ meanwhile, I know a ton of other spouses on base who are drinking and smoking while pregnant :[ makes me high five them in the face with a brick :[
 
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01-15-2013 at 8:06 AM
Likacutiep...
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Thanks ladies! I am at loss of words for what the girls I thought were my friends said to me... I have been tested for almost everything, and so far all my blood work has come back normal, my dr told me that one of my blood clotting blood work came back mildly positive. I forgot the name, but I have to redo the test in 2 weeks to see if still comes back positive.
I am seeing my OB, who prescribed me both metformin and Clomid. I am stationed overseas with my husband, and unfortunately the women's clinic on base does not monitor us while on Clomid, so it's pretty much wait and see if it works... I want a baby more than words can ever describe, but the fear my body will fail me once again is driving me crazy :[ meanwhile, I know a ton of other spouses on base who are drinking and smoking while pregnant :[ makes me high five them in the face with a brick :[
 
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01-15-2013 at 8:07 AM
Wolfette13...
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I am so sorry for your loss.  Don't listen to those hateful things.  You had a loss, nobody can tell you how you should or shouldn't be feeling.  We all grieve differently, you need to do what is best for you both mentally and emotionally.  

Your doctor will tell you, based on your medical history, how long you should physically wait before TTC again.  After my C/P my doctor advised me to wait one full cycle before trying again.  You should also take all the time you need emotionally as well.

As this is your fourth loss have you had RPL testing?  The TTCAL blog is filled with great information on this and many other subjects:

 http://www.ttcalblog.blogspot.com/2011/03/rpl-testing-and-general-information.html

TTC #1 since Nov 2011


Unicorn badge courtesy of the talented CLECyclist

Me(27): High Prolactin and unicornuate uterus

DH(30): Great SA pre and post wash

BFP #1 3/15/2012 ~ EDD 11/20/2012 ~ C/P 4 weeks 5 days

Cycle #19 ~~ #14 TTCAL ~~ Wishing for our Rainbow


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01-15-2013 at 8:10 AM
krdesi
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Sorry for your loss.

I would think your doctor would have the discussion about when it is okay for you to start again. Your friends are probably worried about you and they aren't expressing themselves properly, but if they are not medical professionals, leave the decision making up to yourself and your doctor.

Good luck
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May 2013: First R.E. appointment
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Next Cycle: CD3 Blood work & HSG
 
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01-15-2013 at 8:45 AM
LilSip0611
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I don't have anything to add that the PPs haven't already said but I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your losses.
 
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01-15-2013 at 9:06 AM
Slapalicio...
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Likacutiepie:
Thanks ladies! I am at loss of words for what the girls I thought were my friends said to me... I have been tested for almost everything, and so far all my blood work has come back normal, my dr told me that one of my blood clotting blood work came back mildly positive. I forgot the name, but I have to redo the test in 2 weeks to see if still comes back positive. I am seeing my OB, who prescribed me both metformin and Clomid. I am stationed overseas with my husband, and unfortunately the women's clinic on base does not monitor us while on Clomid, so it's pretty much wait and see if it works... I want a baby more than words can ever describe, but the fear my body will fail me once again is driving me crazy :[ meanwhile, I know a ton of other spouses on base who are drinking and smoking while pregnant :[ makes me high five them in the face with a brick :[

I hope you don't mind my asking questions.  I'm trying to understand what course of action you and your doctor are taking.

Being monitored on Clomid is very very important.  Even if it's not something they 'typically' do, it's something that you should demand be done for you. Monitoring includes CD3 blood work, multiple ultrasounds (to check uterine lining as well as follicle growth), and I would think 7DPO blood work in your case as well.  (The 7DPO b/w shows if you need the Progesterone)

Clomid can thin your uterine lining and if someone already has a thin lining, it can create issues.  Clomid can also cause over-stimulation.  ( Look at John and Kate Plus Eight - she was being monitored on Clomid, was over stimulated, told NOT to have sex that cycle, they ignored doctor's orders...)  Also, did your doctor inform you that you have a lifetime maximum of only 6 cycles with Clomid?  Why did your doctor decide to go the Clomid route?   Was he concerned with a weak or non-existent ovulation or is he trying to give YH's sperm more 'targets'?

I wish I had more information for you about the clotting test.  Hopefully one of the other ladies here will have something.

ETA: I saw you have PCOS - removed my met question. 

\m/ (>.<) \m/
Changing it every week. This week it's Loki.

Previous sigs: Iron Man, Thor, Green Lantern.
TTC #1 since 06/2011

Click here to read the Welcome Post, especially if you're new to the TTGP board!
Click here to go to the Bump Board Glossary
Click here to go to the TTGP Blog! It's more up to date than the link above 
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01-15-2013 at 9:59 AM
Likacutiep...
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I am not being monitored on Clomid because our clinic on base only have one ultrasound machine, and it's exclusively for pregnant patients : about the blood test, my dr said because we are overseas, all blood tests have to be sent in to Germany, then sent to TX and then sent back to us, which would take approx 3 weeks. My dr put me on Clomid because my cycles are very irregular and I have a hard time getting pregnant, I went 4 months without a period, so he said Clomid could help trigger ovulation...I'm sorry if I sound like a total dweeb, this is all so new to me, I am processing all this info a little bit at a time. Before last month I didn't even know what Clomid was... And yes, my OB told me about 6 cycles of Clomid. I did 50mg, and now he prescribed 100mg. And if it fails, he said he would put me on Clomid and steroids. And if after 6 cycles there's still no success, we will try Femara...
 
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01-15-2013 at 10:14 AM
Slapalicio...
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Likacutiepie:
I am not being monitored on Clomid because our clinic on base only have one ultrasound machine, and it's exclusively for pregnant patients : about the blood test, my dr said because we are overseas, all blood tests have to be sent in to Germany, then sent to TX and then sent back to us, which would take approx 3 weeks. My dr put me on Clomid because my cycles are very irregular and I have a hard time getting pregnant, I went 4 months without a period, so he said Clomid could help trigger ovulation...I'm sorry if I sound like a total dweeb, this is all so new to me, I am processing all this info a little bit at a time. Before last month I didn't even know what Clomid was... And yes, my OB told me about 6 cycles of Clomid. I did 50mg, and now he prescribed 100mg. And if it fails, he said he would put me on Clomid and steroids. And if after 6 cycles there's still no success, we will try Femara...

I can't imagine.  I wish I had some advice for you.  :/ 

There are a few ladies here that are more versed than I am.  Hopefully someone else will be able to chime in.

\m/ (>.<) \m/
Changing it every week. This week it's Loki.

Previous sigs: Iron Man, Thor, Green Lantern.
TTC #1 since 06/2011

Click here to read the Welcome Post, especially if you're new to the TTGP board!
Click here to go to the Bump Board Glossary
Click here to go to the TTGP Blog! It's more up to date than the link above 
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01-15-2013 at 10:29 AM
SaranJonat...
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I had a cp and tried right away and got pregnant with my dd. your friends sound terrible. You certainly lost a baby. I am so sorry for your losses.

i would recommend making an appointment with your ob to discuss concerns.  
BFP #1 4/6/09; CP 4/10/09 BFP #2 5/3/09; DD born 1/9/10 BFP #3 12/15/12, EDD 8/31/13; baby stopped growing at 5 w 3 d; natural miscarriage 1/11/13; BFP #4 2/8/13, EDD 10/20/13; missed miscarriage discovered at 9w2d Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
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01-15-2013 at 10:53 AM
buggirl72
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Likacutiepie:
Thanks ladies! I am at loss of words for what the girls I thought were my friends said to me... I have been tested for almost everything, and so far all my blood work has come back normal, my dr told me that one of my blood clotting blood work came back mildly positive. I forgot the name, but I have to redo the test in 2 weeks to see if still comes back positive. I am seeing my OB, who prescribed me both metformin and Clomid. I am stationed overseas with my husband, and unfortunately the women's clinic on base does not monitor us while on Clomid, so it's pretty much wait and see if it works... I want a baby more than words can ever describe, but the fear my body will fail me once again is driving me crazy :[ meanwhile, I know a ton of other spouses on base who are drinking and smoking while pregnant :[ makes me high five them in the face with a brick :[

Because of this, you should wait.  A blood clotting disorder may be what is causing you to m/c. Depending on what the blood clotting disorder is, it may be as simple as taking an aspirin. Please wait until your follow-up blood work is done.

I understand your desire to become pregnant but I would wait to do anymore clomid cycles until you are located somewhere that can do proper monitoring. Clomid can seriously mess up your ovaries and it is irresponsible for your OB to put you on it with out doing u/s.  I'm sorry that do not have the resources but you really should wait to go that route. 

Zachary Donald born 9/22/2012 at 20 weeks. Today, I dreamed I kissed your fingers and heard you laugh. I will always love you my sweet boy.
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01-15-2013 at 11:53 AM
Ya Never K...
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I'm so sorry for your losses, and I'm sorry that your friends are being insensitive and judgmental, but I'd have to say the only opinion that matters here is your own. If you are comfortable going forward with treatment, then you just need to block out that negativity. Are your friends going through the same thing you are? I'm going to guess that they aren't, so it's pretty hard for them to have a valid opinion on something that they haven't experienced themselves. Go with what feels right for you, and don't worry about what they have to say.
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01-15-2013 at 2:24 PM
shecodes
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I just had to post how sorry I am for your loss.  I had a loss last year that I have not told family and friends.  I can't even imagine how I would react if someone said the vile things to me that your friends had the nerve to say.

I am not that well versed in Clomid but from what PPers have said, it's a good idea to read as much up on it as possible.  It seems a bit strange to be put on Clomid given your description. 

There are a lot of reasons for repeat MC's but failure to ovulate is not one of them. (EDIT: missed the PCOS, sorry.  Ignore that) Wish I could tell your friends off for you.   Blessings and good luck!

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01-15-2013 at 2:27 PM
talon1226
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buggirl72:

Likacutiepie:
Thanks ladies! I am at loss of words for what the girls I thought were my friends said to me... I have been tested for almost everything, and so far all my blood work has come back normal, my dr told me that one of my blood clotting blood work came back mildly positive. I forgot the name, but I have to redo the test in 2 weeks to see if still comes back positive.
I am seeing my OB, who prescribed me both metformin and Clomid. I am stationed overseas with my husband, and unfortunately the women's clinic on base does not monitor us while on Clomid, so it's pretty much wait and see if it works... I want a baby more than words can ever describe, but the fear my body will fail me once again is driving me crazy :[ meanwhile, I know a ton of other spouses on base who are drinking and smoking while pregnant :[ makes me high five them in the face with a brick :[

Because of this, you should wait. A blood clotting disorder may be what is causing you to m/c. Depending on what the blood clotting disorder is, it may be as simple as taking an aspirin. Please wait until your follow-up blood work is done.

I understand your desire to become pregnant but I would wait to do anymore clomid cycles until you are located somewhere that can do proper monitoring. Clomid can seriously mess up your ovaries and it is irresponsible for your OB to put you on it with out doing u/s.I'm sorry that do not have the resources but you really should wait to go that route.&nbsp;


I'm very sorry for your losses and your horrible friends. I agree with this advice though. Good luck.
photo 7f92661f-85b6-40d5-9ebd-edc70e00a2e4_zps5ca3c95b.jpg

TTC #1 - Stopped using BC March 2011, officially TTC since August 2011
Dx: PCOS & mild hypothyroidism (me) & MFI
2 cycles Femara + trigger = BFN/no response. 2 cycles Clomid + trigger = BFN
IUI # 1 = BFN
Repeat SA - low motility & morphology w/ 99% bound by antisperm antibodies
Recommendation: IVF w/ICSI 
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