avbliss:I guess I'm not a judgmental because I think every baby is worth celebrating. However I would specify on a subsequent shower "no gifts" that way people who want to will bring one anyway and those who don't can still come and celebrate. If you think it's tacky then don't attend. You don't have to b snarky about it, just politely decline.
It's not about being judgmental. The point of showers is to shower the person with gifts. To specify 'no gifts', people would assume you expected them to bring a gift, which is rude. Yes, every baby deserves to be celebrated but that does not warrant a shower for each child. Showers are typically to welcome the woman into motherhood. And once she has a child, that has already been done.