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01-17-2013 at 9:14 AM
dede0726
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dede0726 is not online. Last active: 04-26-2013, 1:06 PMNewbie

Any advice?

I start stims on Saturday! I am fully aware that this first cycle may not work for us which is why we opted to go with the warranty program that our clinic offers. We paid more, but we get more chances and thus better odds. DH is quick to remind me of this when I start to show too much excitement about finally starting our cycle. I've told him I know in my head and my heart now, but if it doesn't work I will probably still be devestated. This is a fine line I feel like I am walking - I don't want to be too excited because then I feel like I won't be that let down but I aslo don't want to go into it with a negative attitude either.

Any advice??
Me - 35 DH - 37 SD - 10
Married 10/8/2011
Started TTC July 2011. Infertility workup July & August 2012.
DH - all clear. Me - Unicornuate Uterus discovered at HSG 8/16/12. Referred for IVF 8/28/12. Approved for IVF Warranty Program 10/2/12. Laparoscopy 11/1/12 - removed right rudamentary horn, both tubes, left ovarian cyst and endometriosis. Given all clear for pregnancy after 1/1/2013.
IVF cycle 1 starts 1/19/13!
12 eggs, 7 mature and all 7 fertilized - 2 Frosties!!
5 day SET 2/4/13 - Beta 2/13: 86 & 2/15: 186 BFP!!!!
EDD: October, 23, 2013
Blog: http://journeyofaplayer.wordpress.com/
 
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01-17-2013 at 10:20 AM
solisilou
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solisilou is online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 4:29 PMBronze
I don't have any advice but I can tell you a bit about my own rollercoaster. For IVF#1 I was super, super excited like my heart would start racing mad just by thinking about. It unfortunately ended in m/c and I must say that I was a bit disappointed but still very hopeful because that was just my first cycle. For FET#2 I was already very pessimistic and thought that a BFN wouldn't hit me as hard, but it ended being the worst of the blows, leading me to see a counselor. What I mean to say is that there is no perfect formula that will protect you from disappointment. I now let myself be happy and excited if I feel like it, I know the fall will hurt no matter what I do, so I might as well enjoy these moments of blissful optimism.
Me 32 / DH 36
TTC since 08/2010
Me: Lap in 2007 due to pelvic pain: Dx mild endo
Lap in 2011: ovarian cyst and endo removal
2 Clomid cycles: good response but both BFN
borderline high anti-cardiolipin IgM Abs - now on baby aspirin
DH: S/A low all three - unexplained

IVF/ICSI #1: 06/2012 11R/11M/9F 2dt of one 4-cell embie - BFP,
beta hell, U/S hell, m/c and D&C at 9w6d
FET #1: 10/2012 3dt of one 10-cell embie - BFN
FET #2: 11/2012 2dt of one 2-cell embie - BFN
FET #3: 01/2013 3dt of one 6-cell embie - BFN
IVF/ICSI #2: 02/2013 14R/13M/7F 5dt of one blast 2/16 - BFP,
beta hell, m/c at 5w3d
FET #4: 04/2013 5dt of 2 morulas - BFN
FET #5: 05/2013


 
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01-17-2013 at 10:35 AM
dede0726
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dede0726 is not online. Last active: 04-26-2013, 1:06 PMNewbie

solisilou:
I don't have any advice but I can tell you a bit about my own rollercoaster. For IVF#1 I was super, super excited like my heart would start racing mad just by thinking about. It unfortunately ended in m/c and I must say that I was a bit disappointed but still very hopeful because that was just my first cycle. For FET#2 I was already very pessimistic and thought that a BFN wouldn't hit me as hard, but it ended being the worst of the blows, leading me to see a counselor. What I mean to say is that there is no perfect formula that will protect you from disappointment. I now let myself be happy and excited if I feel like it, I know the fall will hurt no matter what I do, so I might as well enjoy these moments of blissful optimism.

Thank you for sharing that with me. I am so sorry for the struggles you have had! I am trying really hard to be realistic about this process but it's hard not te get too excited or not to feel too anxious and worried about it all.
Me - 35 DH - 37 SD - 10
Married 10/8/2011
Started TTC July 2011. Infertility workup July & August 2012.
DH - all clear. Me - Unicornuate Uterus discovered at HSG 8/16/12. Referred for IVF 8/28/12. Approved for IVF Warranty Program 10/2/12. Laparoscopy 11/1/12 - removed right rudamentary horn, both tubes, left ovarian cyst and endometriosis. Given all clear for pregnancy after 1/1/2013.
IVF cycle 1 starts 1/19/13!
12 eggs, 7 mature and all 7 fertilized - 2 Frosties!!
5 day SET 2/4/13 - Beta 2/13: 86 & 2/15: 186 BFP!!!!
EDD: October, 23, 2013
Blog: http://journeyofaplayer.wordpress.com/
 
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01-17-2013 at 10:47 AM
LuClo
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LuClo is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 7:29 AMBronze
Second solisilou; there's no perfect mix.  I know it's magical thinking, but it feels like IF 'knows' and will always throw the opposite of what you're prepared for.  If nothing else, you learn to be flexible and let go of your own expectations.  It's like mandatory zen.
TTC since August 2010
DH diagnosed with Azoospermia in January 2012
Vas reconstruction surgery in April 2012; unsuccessful
IVF with ICSI February 2013; single blastocyst 5dt
First beta March 1 is 147!!!

 
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01-17-2013 at 11:08 AM
jezebel57
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jezebel57 is online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 4:23 PMBronze

I feel the exact same way!  It's hard to know which to feel and how to act.  I want to think positive because I hear that positive thinking/visualization will make things happen, but then if it doesn't, is it my fault for that negative thought that crept in that one time?  I am really trying to take one day at a time (which is sooooo hard) and enjoy the process.  Yep, I said it.  ENJOY the process.  Let each dr.'s appointment, each needle, each issue with the insurance company if you're not OOP be a reason to celebrate.  If it does work I think I'll be much happier to share my "getting pregnant" story than if I was miserable and doubtful the whole time. lol. 

 
Me (37) DH (39); Finally correctly diagnosed with DOR in 2012; Started TTC 2009; RE 2009/2010- RE cycle #1 clomid+ ovidrel + TI = BFN; RE cycle #2 clomid + ovidrel + TI=BFN; RE cycle #3 femara + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #4 75iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #5 150iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI = BFN ; Took a break and had Weight loss surgery in 2011, back to new RE in 2012 ; AMH 0.43 IVF #1 /ICSI and AH; MDL protocol - ER 2/11 5R, 3M, 2F Three day transfer of 8 cell grade 3 and 8 cell grade 2 embryos. BFN. RPL testing shows homo MTHFR and hetero PAI-1. IVF #2 antagonist-ER 5/14 8R 6M 5F. Three day transfer of 3 embies. 6 cell grade 3, 4 cell grade 2, 5 cell grade 3. Hoping and praying. Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
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01-17-2013 at 11:08 AM
stinkerbel...
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Bakersfield, CA
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stinkerbell6879 is online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 4:28 PMBronze
I have not been there yet, but I think it is good to be walking that fine line. I think you should try to be positive but also be aware of the reality of the negative side. I also agree that it is hard! But try and stay focused on what you want in the end of this all. ((HUGS))


Me:33(Dx Turners Syn) DH: 34(Perfectly Fine!) ~DE Cycle Set to start APRIL 2013!!~ 
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01-17-2013 at 11:36 AM
Amyou06
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Amyou06 is not online. Last active: 02-17-2013, 12:53 PMNewbie
I know how you feel. I'm on cycle day 7, and I get excited, and then I get scared, and then back again. My DH is always telling me I need to be more optimistic...and I am, but I guess I try not to be too crazy optimistic because I dont want to be even more devastated. I like to think of myself as realistic! But the people that know we're doing this, all are so super positive, which is great, but also makes me nervous. Sometimes I think ignorance is bliss for the people who aren't really dealing with the IF issues.. I dont know..its really confusing and stressful. The financial and emotional gamble you are taking. I just pray that we get plenty this first round, to have some to put back and to freeze...because financially I know we can't afford to do an entire additional round anytime soon..So I'm sorry if I dont really have any advice so to speak, but sometimes Its just nice knowing you are NORMAL with how you are feeling, and were all here going through it with you! Best of luck to you!
TTC since 11/11. 10 months natural= 10 BFN 8/12 First appt with RE 4 semen anaylsis later 1.9 million count, 21% motility and very poor morphology Me- bloodwork, 2 ultrasounds, HSG exam =I'm fine 3 months of testosterone treatments = 3 more BFN DH bkoodwork after 3 months treatment= no change RE says we can continue with hormone treatment for MIF, But says it could be year or more to see results that would even make us IUI candidates RE says we can try IUI but doesn't expect the results to be good based on severe MIF. 12/12 decide to move forward with IVF Started IVF Cycle #1 1/11/13 
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01-17-2013 at 12:26 PM
Crystal120...
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Holy moly I fight this all the time and every time I see a post about whether to POAS or not to POAS. My story is many cancelled IUI before actually doing 1. It was a BFN. So I moved on to IVF#1, it was a BFP. I POAS and started getting positives about 8dp5dt. Along came my first 2 betas and they were perfect. So at this point I knew I was pregnant for 2 weeks. At my first u/s there was nothing there, I had lost it. That was on a Thursday and my beta was still great on Tuesday, so somewhere between Tuesday and Thursday I had a m/c. I was devestated. It made me realize that the longer you know the harder it is when things go bad. It also made me think that just because you make it to one step doesnt mean you will make it to the next. I have had sooooo many cancelled cycles that I tend to be kinda negative. I want to be as hopeful as I was before and POAS and be excited if its positive and jump for joy if I get a good beta. But the truth is I just dont know if I can because I know how quickly things can go bad. I know I shouldnt think this way but I cant help it. So I guess Im with the other posters that I dont really have any advice, just to tell you my story and for you to know your not alone. Im sure this is something we all struggle with. IF sucks and one of the many things it takes away from you is being happy when things are good because your afraid of it going bad. Good luck to you.
Married 9-10-11
Together 6 years before marriage
Me 26 DH 28
TTC since 9/2011
Dx endo 2007 Sx laparoscopy
End bcp 9/2011
Dx annovulatory, DOR, Low AMH
Hysteroscopy due to polyp 2-1-12
IUI#1-3 Cancelled due to low response
IUI#4 BFFN
IVF#1 8/30 Beta#1 256, 8/31 Beta#2 482 BFP!! M/C 5w3d
FET#1 Cancelled due to uterine fluid and thin lining
FET#1.2Cancelled due to abnormal bleeding
Hysteroscopy 12/28/12 All clear
FET#1.3 2/2013 Cancelled
FET #1.4 3/19 BFFN
Good Luck to All!!
Crystal
Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic Daisypath Anniversary tickers
 
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01-17-2013 at 1:18 PM
dede0726
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Joined on 12-28-2012
395 Posts
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dede0726 is not online. Last active: 04-26-2013, 1:06 PMNewbie
This is why I love this board - I understand not having any advice, but at the very least you all remind me that what I am feeling is not unusual and I am not the only one to have felt these feelings. Thank you for that!!
Me - 35 DH - 37 SD - 10
Married 10/8/2011
Started TTC July 2011. Infertility workup July & August 2012.
DH - all clear. Me - Unicornuate Uterus discovered at HSG 8/16/12. Referred for IVF 8/28/12. Approved for IVF Warranty Program 10/2/12. Laparoscopy 11/1/12 - removed right rudamentary horn, both tubes, left ovarian cyst and endometriosis. Given all clear for pregnancy after 1/1/2013.
IVF cycle 1 starts 1/19/13!
12 eggs, 7 mature and all 7 fertilized - 2 Frosties!!
5 day SET 2/4/13 - Beta 2/13: 86 & 2/15: 186 BFP!!!!
EDD: October, 23, 2013
Blog: http://journeyofaplayer.wordpress.com/
 
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01-17-2013 at 2:24 PM
JSM0801
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I just wanted to say good luck starting your cycle! It is normal to feel excited and scared and anxious and a million other things. Take it one day at a time, and my advice is to be cautiously optimistic. Hope for the best but expect the worst, ya know? My first RE basically guaranteed us a take home baby based on my age health. He actually said "I don't mean to sound cocky, but I am 100 confident you will be pregnant by Oct." We left his office feeling on top of the world, like it was going to be a sure thing, and here we still are. So, be positive and hopeful, but just know the reality. Best of luck to you!
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Me (33)- unexplained MH (35)- MFI due to Vericocele. Straight to IVF w/ICSI 9/12, Antagonist = BFN c/p, poor quality blasts, tested sperm dna fragmentation. Results all good, yay! New RE for IVF #2- 1/13., Long Lupron. ER on 1/22 -10R, 9M, 9F. Transfer on hold due to overstimming. FET in Feb. 2 frozen blasts. Another BFN & another c/p. RPL testing all negative besides MTHFR gene, vericocle repair surgery 4/12/13-Bilateral Grade 3 Vericocele found & fixed, IVF #3 with PGS 4/13- 11R, 9M, 9F. Transferred 2 normal=BFN, 3 normal on ice Everyone Welcome!!!
B Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
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