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01-17-2013 at 10:24 AM
Mr&MrsMTA
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Beer and Diaper Party for men

http://www.etsy.com/listing/103006288/rustic-beer-diaper-party-invitation?ref=sr_gallery_13&ga_search_query=turquoise+baby+shower+invitation&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=ZZ&ga_min=0&ga_max=0&ga_page=10&ga_search_type=handmade

I thought this was a cool and different idea esp for people in my situation, I have 2 DD's the youngest is 12. I am now 10wks and this is DH's 1st LO. I do not feel comfortable having a shower even if it is DH's first (all of DH's family thinks I should have a shower but I dont think so)....we are more the able to buy our own items. But my DH loves to get together with the guys and I thought what a cute way to make him feel special on being a first time Daddy.

A friend found this on Etsy and I thought it was such a cute idea, but I think I would change it to beer, wings and either poker or horse shoes since thats what my husband does when all the guys get together.

What do you think???
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01-17-2013 at 10:26 AM
MandJS
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I think there are a couple of problems, here.

1) It is NEVER okay to host your own gift giving event. Therefore, you should not be throwing a party where people are expected to bring anything. If someone offers, that's a different story altogether, but don't ask anyone, hint to anyone, or likewise.

2) You should NEVER dictate what people bring as a gift. Therefore, I dislike the part where diapers are requested.

If you and/or your DH want to get together with friends, do it. Don't use your pregnancy as an excuse. Or alternately, wait until the baby arrives and have a meet the baby party. People will still give you gifts if they are so inclined - there is no reason to invite them to do so.

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."
 
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01-17-2013 at 10:31 AM
Mr&MrsMTA
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1) It is NEVER okay to host your own gift giving event. Therefore, you should not be throwing a party where people are expected to bring anything. If someone offers, that's a different story altogether, but don't ask anyone, hint to anyone, or likewise.

Well thats crazy to say everyone hosts their own kids Bday partys or even their own Bday Partys.....DH and I hosted our own Wedding and those are both gift giving events.

I thought it was cute as this was meant to be casual and I think it has diapers well because its men it makes it easier for them.....well I thought it was a good idea BUT I never said I was going to do it  so relax ghees
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01-17-2013 at 10:35 AM
Jillwithan...
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Mr&MrsMTA:

1) It is NEVER okay to host your own gift giving event. Therefore, you should not be throwing a party where people are expected to bring anything. If someone offers, that's a different story altogether, but don't ask anyone, hint to anyone, or likewise.

Well thats crazy to say everyone hosts their own kids Bday partys or even their own Bday Partys.....DH and I hosted our own Wedding and those are both gift giving events.

I thought it was cute as this was meant to be casual and I think it has diapers well because its men it makes it easier for them.....well I thought it was a good idea BUT I never said I was going to do it  so relax ghees

 
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01-17-2013 at 10:37 AM
SmoothieQu...
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one of my guy buddys was telling me about this! but my MIL is planning on hosting our co-ed baby shower already, so we're not going to do it.  i say if you think your circle of friends is cool with it, go for it :) 
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01-17-2013 at 10:41 AM
MandJS
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Mr&MrsMTA:

1) It is NEVER okay to host your own gift giving event. Therefore, you should not be throwing a party where people are expected to bring anything. If someone offers, that's a different story altogether, but don't ask anyone, hint to anyone, or likewise.

Well thats crazy to say everyone hosts their own kids Bday partys or even their own Bday Partys.....DH and I hosted our own Wedding and those are both gift giving events.

I thought it was cute as this was meant to be casual and I think it has diapers well because its men it makes it easier for them.....well I thought it was a good idea BUT I never said I was going to do it  so relax ghees

Oh FFS.

Throwing a birthday party for your kid, or even yourself, is not the same thing. It is a celebration of the anniversary of your birth. Similarly, a wedding is a ceremony wherein two people commit to spend their lives together. While gifts may be given, the purpose of the event is NOT solely to provide gifts to the honoree. By contrast, a shower's whole purpose is to "shower" the honoree. So while people may CHOOSE to give gifts at a wedding or birthday party, it is NOT the same thing. Plus, you hosting a birthday party for your kid is not a gift giving event for you - it's for your child. 

I never said you were absolutely going to have a diaper party. However, you posted and asked for opinions. I provided my thoughts and opinions. I don't know why you took offense. I simply pointed out that it would be tacky and gift grabby to throw your own event like this. So I'm thinking YOU are the one who needs to relax, here.

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."
 
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01-17-2013 at 10:41 AM
a13049
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I agree with pp that someone else should host. DH has a friend who is hosting a diaper party. They joke that he is rescuing him from te vagina fest that is happening at out house the diaper shower my uncle is the only one who will have a SO at the shower so it's nt really double dipping, and he wasn't told to bring diapers either, he coming from out of town and is hanging out with the guys while his wife attends the shower. I don't think in this case it's an issue of people dictating what gifts to get, as guys aren't really that picky. They don't even send out invites, it's just a text word of mouth hey guys diapers and wipes party for kev on Sunday at Matt's, stop by if you want. It's common in his circle. I think it would be more of an issue if you start dictating size, type or brand.
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01-17-2013 at 10:42 AM
MelRC117
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Mr&MrsMTA:

1) It is NEVER okay to host your own gift giving event. Therefore, you should not be throwing a party where people are expected to bring anything. If someone offers, that's a different story altogether, but don't ask anyone, hint to anyone, or likewise.

Well thats crazy to say everyone hosts their own kids Bday partys or even their own Bday Partys.....DH and I hosted our own Wedding and those are both gift giving events.

I thought it was cute as this was meant to be casual and I think it has diapers well because its men it makes it easier for them.....well I thought it was a good idea BUT I never said I was going to do it  so relax ghees

A shower's complete purpose is for gift giving.  To "shower" the new mom with gifts.  A wedding's main purpose isn't to stock up on housewares.
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01-17-2013 at 10:46 AM
Estwd2
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Mr&MrsMTA:

What do you think???

I think it's weird and very AWish. 
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01-17-2013 at 10:50 AM
Helenahhan...
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Ditto PP's about not hosting a gift giving event for yourself.

Birthday parties for adults and weddings are different-- they are gift optional events.  

OP you posted yesterday about doing a meet the baby party, right?  I think that is by far the best scenario for your particular situation.  It will still give your hubby a chance to show off his new LO, and catch up with friends he has not seen in a while.  If you want to serve beer and wings, go for it!

If people want to brings gifts, they will.  

Good luck to you!

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01-17-2013 at 11:39 AM
Happy2BPre...
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I actually think it's a cute idea.  Can one of DH's friends host it for you? 
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01-17-2013 at 11:40 AM
nortiz03
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a13049:
DH has a friend who is hosting a diaper party.

 Just curious... did the friend offer to host the diaper party.  If so was it after he knew your DH wanted a diaper party??

J/W, DH wants a diaper party.  He wants something for the guys to hang out and he attended a friends diaper party last year and liked the whole idea.

 
 
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01-17-2013 at 11:42 AM
nortiz03
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In response to your post-

I think it's a good idea.  I don't have the best shower ettiquette but if you think it's something you and DH's circle of friends would enjoy than go for it. 

 
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01-17-2013 at 11:43 AM
LilyLove29
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I think they're a fun way for the guy to feel involved. We aren't doing one because MIL is hosting a couples shower for us, but I've been planning with one of his buddies to have a guys night. Food, a keg, cigars, etc. no gifts, but a guys night to celebrate him becoming a daddy. It's a surprise, so I'm involved in the coordination, but I'm not the host and I will be getting a mani pedi and a massage during it.

I think if your group of friends would be into it, go for it. It's a nice gesture for him. If you're the one planning it for him, its a little, ehhh... since I realize the diapers are a gift for you too, but if people don't want to bring gifts they don't have to. Besides, guys won't care, they'll be thinking of beer and brats or whatever, and how it's a great chance to hang out with their boy before the sleepless nights turn him into a zombie.

If you think it's fun and the guys coming will have fun, I say go for it.
 
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01-17-2013 at 11:46 AM
mabenner1
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I think that in no way should you host any baby-related party for yourself, especially one that is asking for people to bring you gifts. Even worse, a diaper party dictates the type of gift that should be brought. Double no.
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01-17-2013 at 12:16 PM
Cranang
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So, OP, you would feel comfortable calling your friends and saying "Hey, I want you to come and give me a gift because I got pregnant!  There will be food!"  That's what a shower is.  There is no other purpose than to give gifts.  Baby shower=bridal shower.  Birth of baby=Wedding.  Surely you can see the difference.  Yes, people often gift at a wedding.  But it's not the point of a wedding.  People often gift at a birthday party, but it's not the point of the party.  There is no other point to your scenario other than getting stuff. 
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01-17-2013 at 12:54 PM
Mr&MrsMTA
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I am not getting some of your post.......this is not a shower if you look at my original post I said I do not feel comfortable having a shower. Even though DH's family wants to (they are 2nd and 3rd baby shower kind of people) If you are getting upset at the Etsy idea my friend found about it stating bring a pack of diapers honestly with our circle this would never be an issue or even side eyed.....in our circle you NEVER EVER show up to any party or get together empty handed even if you just bring a bottle of wine thats just us. All of the men in this circle of friends and family get to gether once a week in the winter they play cards  in the Spring-Fall they play horseshoes every week I think amongst all of the Vaj-j parties this family is having in 2013 I honestly think this crew would get a kick out of it I can esily hide behind my dads name IF I DECIDED to do this party but with this crew I wouldnt even have to.

But again this was just an idea a friend found on Etsy....NOT A SHOWER
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01-17-2013 at 1:12 PM
Helenahhan...
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Mr&MrsMTA:

I am not getting some of your post.......this is not a shower if you look at my original post I said I do not feel comfortable having a shower. Even though DH's family wants to (they are 2nd and 3rd baby shower kind of people) If you are getting upset at the Etsy idea my friend found about it stating bring a pack of diapers honestly with our circle this would never be an issue or even side eyed.....in our circle you NEVER EVER show up to any party or get together empty handed even if you just bring a bottle of wine thats just us. All of the men in this circle of friends and family get to gether once a week in the winter they play cards  in the Spring-Fall they play horseshoes every week I think amongst all of the Vaj-j parties this family is having in 2013 I honestly think this crew would get a kick out of it I can esily hide behind my dads name IF I DECIDED to do this party but with this crew I wouldnt even have to.

But again this was just an idea a friend found on Etsy....NOT A SHOWER

 

I don't want to speak for everyone, but for me the distaste comes from you sending an invite to your friends and telling them what to bring.

I would never come to a party empty handed either, but I would be hesitant to attend a party in which the hostess said something to me like "hey, you know what?  I haven't had a chance to buy toilet paper lately.  If you are going to come to my party and bring me something, don't bring a stupid trinket, bring me toilet paper."

I will say again a meet the baby party sounds fun, and even better if you serve beer and wings.  Just leave the part off about bringing diapers.  If people want to bring you a gift, they will, and most likely it will be baby related.

Good luck OP.

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01-17-2013 at 1:13 PM
mabenner1
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Mr&MrsMTA:

I am not getting some of your post.......this is not a shower if you look at my original post I said I do not feel comfortable having a shower. Even though DH's family wants to (they are 2nd and 3rd baby shower kind of people) If you are getting upset at the Etsy idea my friend found about it stating bring a pack of diapers honestly with our circle this would never be an issue or even side eyed.....in our circle you NEVER EVER show up to any party or get together empty handed even if you just bring a bottle of wine thats just us. All of the men in this circle of friends and family get to gether once a week in the winter they play cards  in the Spring-Fall they play horseshoes every week I think amongst all of the Vaj-j parties this family is having in 2013 I honestly think this crew would get a kick out of it I can esily hide behind my dads name IF I DECIDED to do this party but with this crew I wouldnt even have to.

But again this was just an idea a friend found on Etsy....NOT A SHOWER

A party, revolving around the birth of a child, in which gifts are expected is a shower. You can call it whatever you want, but it is what it is.

And, furthermore, are you sure your husband would really be into this?  My husband would be mortified if he was going to hang with his friends and they all brought baby diapers as a type of entrance fee. And to "hide behind my dads name"?  Grow up.

ETA: You put someone on blast for inviting you to a second shower, then post this??  WTF.
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01-17-2013 at 1:19 PM
OSibyl
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I think it is a cute idea. People on this board love to live by their own rules. You should live by your own. I get the idea of not hosting your own "give me gifts" party... but I also think it is nice to let your husband feel special about becoming a dad for the first time. Do whatever YOU feel is right.
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01-17-2013 at 1:24 PM
laurenbell...
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We are doing this.... DH is calling it a Brew and Poo party. Technically.. it's just a hang out at a pub by our house for all his dude friends  - most all have kids, so it gives them a reason to get out of the house and have "man-time". If they want to bring diapers they can, if not, that's fine too. I won't be attending. And neither will any of the wives. Just the dudes.

Edit: I also used paperlesspost.com - like evite - but fancier - and free. 
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01-17-2013 at 1:28 PM
a13049
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nortiz03:
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I think it's a good idea.nbsp; I don't have the best shower ettiquette but if you think it's something you and DH's circle of friends would enjoy than go for it.nbsp;


His friend offered it, DH was planning on being at te shower his buddy even called me first to make sure DH wouldn't get in trouble for missing the shower lol. It's not very baby related the guys all go to te hosts house, drop off the diapers or wipes on the kitchen table and hit up the keg. They don't get wasted or go wild jut hang around and catch up. It's very informal but that's how their group does it
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01-17-2013 at 1:36 PM
Darbie914
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This may be just me but in my circle of friends, the guys really don't have any interest in taking part of any shower-type event.  Why can't they just get together and have a guy's day or something?

I guess I just find it a tad ridiculous that people are finding every excuse in the book to have a party for a major life event.  Having a baby?  Oh then you must have a sex reveal party at the ultrasound.  You just have to have a gender reveal party!  Baby showers for multiple children?  You got it!  Diaper party for Dad, too?  Yep!  And while we're at it, let's just throw in a Meet the Baby party as well, just in case we didn't get enough attention.  

Geez. 
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01-17-2013 at 2:03 PM
santjust
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Go for it! My DH attended a friends Manly shower , it was beer and video games no gifts but a Diaper Donation was the entrance pass super cute the souvenir was a T-shirt the dad to be designed with a drawing of  a mom, dad and baby turtle. My DH came home and said he wanted one when he was gonna be a dad. Coincidently 3weeks later we found out we were pregnant. Immediately my brother and his brother jumped in and offered to host, in the end they delegated I prepped and disappeared they planned it to coincide with the season premiere of the Walking Dead brought in a projector screen to play Zombies in call of duty. And even had a hot wheels racing contest. I wasn't there and the guys ordered pizza and were nice enough to even clean up after. The souvenir was a bottle of Smirnoff with an its a boy ribbon. We received loads of diapers and some very thoughtful gifts as well. In the end it was a good thing he had his shower because I went into preterm labor and had our son early. I didn't get to have a shower myself and the stocked diapers have been a godsend if anything just something we don't have to worry about getting. FOR A WHILE. You should do what you think is best. Babies are an occasion to celebrate no matter which parent it is. 
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01-17-2013 at 2:18 PM
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mabenner1:
Mr&MrsMTA:

I am not getting some of your post.......this is not a shower if you look at my original post I said I do not feel comfortable having a shower. Even though DH's family wants to (they are 2nd and 3rd baby shower kind of people) If you are getting upset at the Etsy idea my friend found about it stating bring a pack of diapers honestly with our circle this would never be an issue or even side eyed.....in our circle you NEVER EVER show up to any party or get together empty handed even if you just bring a bottle of wine thats just us. All of the men in this circle of friends and family get to gether once a week in the winter they play cards  in the Spring-Fall they play horseshoes every week I think amongst all of the Vaj-j parties this family is having in 2013 I honestly think this crew would get a kick out of it I can esily hide behind my dads name IF I DECIDED to do this party but with this crew I wouldnt even have to.

But again this was just an idea a friend found on Etsy....NOT A SHOWER

A party, revolving around the birth of a child, in which gifts are expected is a shower. You can call it whatever you want, but it is what it is.

And, furthermore, are you sure your husband would really be into this?  My husband would be mortified if he was going to hang with his friends and they all brought baby diapers as a type of entrance fee. And to "hide behind my dads name"?  Grow up.

ETA: You put someone on blast for inviting you to a second shower, then post this??  WTF.

This, especially the bolded part. I know that if I were to ask DH if he would want to do this, his answer would be "heck no." If anything, he would rather just hang out with the guys and not make a big event out of it.

But I don't understand why you feel the need to throw a party so someone can just bring you diapers. You are complaining that you got invited to a second shower, but want to throw an event for yourself so you can get diapers from the people you know.
 
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01-17-2013 at 2:28 PM
MandJS
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santjust:
Go for it! My DH attended a friends Manly shower , it was beer and video games no gifts but a Diaper Donation was the entrance pass super cute the souvenir was a T-shirt the dad to be designed with a drawing of  a mom, dad and baby turtle. My DH came home and said he wanted one when he was gonna be a dad. Coincidently 3weeks later we found out we were pregnant. Immediately my brother and his brother jumped in and offered to host, in the end they delegated I prepped and disappeared they planned it to coincide with the season premiere of the Walking Dead brought in a projector screen to play Zombies in call of duty. And even had a hot wheels racing contest. I wasn't there and the guys ordered pizza and were nice enough to even clean up after. The souvenir was a bottle of Smirnoff with an its a boy ribbon. We received loads of diapers and some very thoughtful gifts as well. In the end it was a good thing he had his shower because I went into preterm labor and had our son early. I didn't get to have a shower myself and the stocked diapers have been a godsend if anything just something we don't have to worry about getting. FOR A WHILE. You should do what you think is best. Babies are an occasion to celebrate no matter which parent it is. 

If you want to celebrate the baby, then the baby needs to be there. The celebrations PRE baby are centered around honoring the parents to be. Nonetheless, it is STILL never ever okay to host your own gift giving event OR to dictate what gifts people bring. If you want to have a "guys" shower, and someone offers, then fine. Whatever. But you still should NOT dictate what gifts the people bring. And it should not be hosted by the parents to be. 

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."
 
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01-17-2013 at 2:38 PM
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santjust:
Go for it!  

And there's that ever-trustworthy "go for it!" when someone is telling you to do something tacky. OP, word of advice, if someone tells you to "go for it!" on here, then you're probably about to do something tacky.
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01-17-2013 at 2:39 PM
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laurenbell09:

We are doing this.... DH is calling it a Brew and Poo party. Technically.. it's just a hang out at a pub by our house for all his dude friends  - most all have kids, so it gives them a reason to get out of the house and have "man-time". If they want to bring diapers they can, if not, that's fine too. I won't be attending. And neither will any of the wives. Just the dudes.

Edit: I also used paperlesspost.com - like evite - but fancier - and free. 

Are you hosting this??  Or is someone else hosting it for you?  I want to have one for DH but after reading everyone elses posts, not sure.  I think my husbands group of friends they would love to help out and have a reason to drink and eat good food!
 
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01-17-2013 at 2:40 PM
Darbie914
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Estwd2:

santjust:
Go for it!  

And there's that ever-trustworthy "go for it!" when someone is telling you to do something tacky. OP, word of advice, if someone tells you to "go for it!" on here, then you're probably about to do something tacky.

Ditto. 
Wedding Countdown Ticker "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
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01-17-2013 at 2:43 PM
FemShep
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My mind is completely boggled that so many people think it's OK to require an entrance fee for a party and to dictate what the entrance fee is.

Guess what?  If you tell your guests to bring diapers, you're asking them to pay an entrance fee (a PP even called it an entrance pass).  You should never ever ever ask your guests to pay anything.  If they offer, great!  (Yes, Virginia, many of us always bring a bottle of wine/chocolates/etc when we are guests.)  But never require it.  How rude! 

(And yes, if you are hosting an event that says Bring XYZ, you are requiring it, even if you don't turn people away at the door.) 

And never ever ever tell someone what gift they must bring.  Whether it's a diaper, a book, or a platypus doesn't make any difference.  Never tell a guest they must bring a gift, and never tell them they must bring a specific gift.  WTF is this so hard to understand?

Just because it's a cute etsy invite doesn't mean it isn't rude and tacky. 

 
 
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