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01-17-2013 at 5:23 PM
MBush4
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Birthplan? FTM here....

So I was talking with my dr yesterday at my appointment and I realized I haven't really finalized my birthplan. But then a lot of my friends who are nurses said, "Don't even bother, between you and the doctor, it won't stick." I'm trying to be realistic, but at the same time, I have a few things that are important to me that I want the hospital to know. Am I really that unrealistic if I come with a list (not a long one) for my plan? The main things are that I do NOT want an epidural (I know, I know, that is as likely to hold fast as an ice cream cone in July) and a c-section should be only in event of emergency. But my OB sees no reason at this point why she would need to do a c-section. But there were a few other requests and I was wondering what you ladies thought... Am I going overboard?

Labor/delivery:

hep-lock instead of IV and occassional fetal monitoring instead of constant unless deemed medically necessary (my OB is fine with this)

freedom to move as much as possible

Post-Delivery:

wait until cord limp/emptied (whatever you call it) until cutting

APGAR done while I hold baby- if that not a possibility (I've heard both from hospital staff) we'd like DH to be with LO as much as possible

nursing ASAP

keep LO in room and on my chest ASAP after delivery

 
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01-17-2013 at 5:37 PM
caladpi02
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Have you checked to see what the hospital's default position is on any of these issues? Maybe it is because I am in San Francisco, but my hospital does almost all of the things that people want, nursing right away, LO in room, etc., as their standard practice. I would suggest seeing what your hospital does and if you need to do something that is not their norm, jot it down. Otherwise, it is kind of a waste of time.
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01-17-2013 at 5:40 PM
doremi29
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A lot of that (like freedom to move as much as possible, nursing asap, and skin to skin contact asap) *should* happen regardless of having it in a birth plan or not.  I think most hospitals would feel those are just as important as you do. 

I'm not huge into birthplans but that's only because I never had anything that I felt super strongly about.  If I did, I would keep it very brief and really hit on the big items of importance.  I don't think it's completely unnecessary or that it "won't stick"- I think some nurses are probably just overwhelmed (or eyerolling) when they have someone put a super long birthplan in front of them- not that your's is.

Your's seems absolutely reasonable and you seem to be looking at it in a healthy way- that these are your hopes and you're just writing them out to be clear but that you know there are situations that could arise that could alter your plans.
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01-17-2013 at 5:42 PM
MBush4
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I'm in New Orleans and the hospital is a little more traditional, although they try to be more accomodating (according to my friend who has delivered here as well as in two other hospitals in Oregon and DC respectively). When we went to the hospital tour and to a hospital-sponsored birth class they said that they cut the cord right away, that they take the babies to the nurseries for all testing and such right away. The nurse made it seem like it's standard practice but didn't mention how hard it would be to get them to budge. I'm thinking I'll bring it up at my next OB appointment but would it be better to check with my OB or the L&D nurses?
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01-17-2013 at 5:45 PM
RussianMom...
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I'm a FTM and I am not bothering with a birth plan. I've never done this before and no idea what to expect. I trust my birth team and that's all I need to know.
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01-17-2013 at 6:16 PM
pitterpatt...
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As a STM who didn't make a birth plan the first time, make one! I will be taking one with me this time. I would look into adding your wishes about what will happen if you do end up with a csection too (like dad and baby stay with you, etc.)
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01-17-2013 at 6:18 PM
wright129
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I would talk to the LD nurses at the hospital. When I went on my tour a lot of the stuff I would have in my birtb plan was standard.

Baby stays with me to nurse and skin to skin for two hours in recovery and then to the nursery

They will let me move around as much as possible

Etc...
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01-17-2013 at 6:38 PM
SEWF
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I made one, but it's got some basic stuff on it for reference (such as, my husband is hard of hearing, please make sure he can hear you; i'm allergic to penicillin; who exactly I will and will not allow in the delivery room since I have such a large family; and who our pediatrician is). Most stuff I want is already hospital policy, and some stuff is a specific choice I have made in regards to my care.

 I will say, I have read from some L&D nurses, not to make demands on you birth plan. Phrase it more like, "i would like to...", because most births will not according to your exact plans. You have to roll with the punches. Also, make sure to keep it short and to the point. Finally, Obviously be nice to the nurses and they are more likely to go out of their way to help.

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01-17-2013 at 6:44 PM
BelhurstBr...
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I'd find out what your hospital's standard procedures are. Many hospitals now strive to be "baby friendly," meaning they do many of those things automatically, but I've heard horror stories of old school hospitals who won't have it any other way. And what your OB says is okay may not matter if it's against hospital policy. 

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01-17-2013 at 7:36 PM
KBeaut
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I second talking to your OB/midwife.  Most of those things are standard practice where I'm delivering, so you probably wouldn't need to list them. 
 
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01-17-2013 at 8:08 PM
MrsJelly
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MBush4:

So I was talking with my dr yesterday at my appointment and I realized I haven't really finalized my birthplan. But then a lot of my friends who are nurses said, "Don't even bother, between you and the doctor, it won't stick." I'm trying to be realistic, but at the same time, I have a few things that are important to me that I want the hospital to know. Am I really that unrealistic if I come with a list (not a long one) for my plan? The main things are that I do NOT want an epidural (I know, I know, that is as likely to hold fast as an ice cream cone in July) and a c-section should be only in event of emergency. But my OB sees no reason at this point why she would need to do a c-section. But there were a few other requests and I was wondering what you ladies thought... Am I going overboard?

Labor/delivery:

hep-lock instead of IV and occassional fetal monitoring instead of constant unless deemed medically necessary (my OB is fine with this)

freedom to move as much as possible

Post-Delivery:

wait until cord limp/emptied (whatever you call it) until cutting

APGAR done while I hold baby- if that not a possibility (I've heard both from hospital staff) we'd like DH to be with LO as much as possible

nursing ASAP

keep LO in room and on my chest ASAP after delivery

 

You are not going overboard AT ALL. It is YOUR body and YOUR child therefore YOUR choice. All the "mandatory/normal" procedures are set out for every birth...you obviously have been educating yourself on what you want and what you hope. I am a FTM too and plan on having a birth plan, it's not only for you and the doctor, but you can go over it with whoever is going to be with you during labour so they can advocate for you when you are distracted by contractions.

They are all reasonable requests, also - even if it is fairly standard at your hospital or in your state it wouldn't hurt at all to bring in your birth plan and discuss it with your Doc at your next appointment if nothing else it will make you feel better if you're on the same page!

Good luck!

 
 
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01-17-2013 at 8:29 PM
InkedMegs
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I agree... not overboard.

I'm going to write mine and will be adding that, in the case of a c-section or other situation where I would need stitched or recovery time, no family/friends can see or hold the baby until I am able to bond with her first.



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01-17-2013 at 10:40 PM
kxp004
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RussianMommy:
I'm a FTM and I am not bothering with a birth plan. I've never done this before and no idea what to expect. I trust my birth team and that's all I need to know.

eh I disagree with this... not because you should or shouldn't have a birth plan or that you shouldn't trust your birth team but IMO, l researched everything that might be done to me or my child and then decided what was best based on my MW's recommendations... I don't think I could ever say "it's whatever" to my birth team when there are so many varying viewpoints... I'm so involved in everything else it just seems like I should be involved in the birth process too...nurses bathe baby or I bathe baby, going to nursery for apgar or in room for apgar, immediately on my chest or straight to the warmer, cut cord immediately or bank cord blood or wait to cut... KWIM? 

that being said, OP: I don't think your plan is over the top and I would make sure DH is your advocate in making sure these things are done... it's your birth and nothing on your list is unreasonable... I would even add... don't offer the epidural unless DH says I want it... especially if you plan on going without it... though I  would also tell them no pitocin if I was going sans epidural since that makes it much much harder due to the increased contraction strength 
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01-17-2013 at 10:41 PM
FutureMrsT...
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all of that seems reasonable to me, actually most of that is actually SOP at my hospital

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01-18-2013 at 12:00 PM
IncogNeato
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This may sound dumb, but you will BE there, you know. So it's not like you can't tell them most of this in person. I mean, they aren't going to do an epidural against your will or surprise you with a sneak c-section.

I might write down the cord clamping and mention it to the doctor but for the most part, these things seem simple enough to say, "My DH would like to come with you now." if they say they need to take LO for a while.

 IMO they may read your plan but they won't memorize it so you're better off discussing it all with your DH to make sure he knows all of it, and then just addressing things if/when they come up.
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01-18-2013 at 12:17 PM
izzyjenni
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To be honest, my birth plan was short of a waste of time.  Everything on it was what their procedure/policy is anyway.  I felt better for having made one and it helped me to remember my focus.  The nurses and my midwife scanned it and made sure to follow it by asking questions.  It helped with visitors policy, cord cutting, and the antibiotics I needed to get for strep b but other than that it was more for my benefit.  Some things don't go according to plan...
 
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01-18-2013 at 4:20 PM
Spacebunny...
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I think it's a good idea to have one, if nothing else, because it causes YOU to think about what you want and look into the options & alternatives.  And then it's up to you to decide if you want to alter any of it when the day comes (like going for an epidural or not).  

For me, I had a rough birth plan and I don't think the nurses cared to listen/look at it.  And I know at least one thing I didn't want--an episiotomy--happened without my consent or anything, but oh well, it happened and it was because my doc thought I'd tear.  (DD was 8 lb 2 oz so yeah I probably would have.)  

I think a big thing is looking into what the SOP's are for your doc and for the hospital, because a lot of things I wanted were already standard for them both (nursing right away, skin to skin, etc.) so I didn't need to spell it out, they did it automatically.  But that can be part of making the birth plan--finding out what they normally do and working with that. 
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01-18-2013 at 5:18 PM
meheron80
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I had a nice birthplan last time but at my hospital I really didnt need it.  The nurses were great, listened to all my requests.  I wont be making one this time around.  Make sure you know rules at your hospital.  Talk with H about what you guys want regarding nursery time,  visitors, surgery.....  I found out on our tour that baby gets circumcised the next day and has to stay in nursery for one hour.  LO is a girl so i never asked last time.  H can stay with our little man whole time!!!  Visitors was a huge problem for us last time.  Our parents were competing in lobby on who got the two visitor badges and hasseled nursing so this time we will keep the badges with us.  When we want someone H will get them.  LO can also stay with us as long as we want so our goal is to get to hospital, settled and checkef out before calling for grandparents.  Biggest thing is making sure H and you are on the same page!!!
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