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01-18-2013 at 10:46 AM
BallSox
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Why hosting your own shower is not ok (a review)

It's been awhile since we've recapped this, so let's just put this out here again for general knowledge purposes: 

Baby Shower = bridal shower

Birth = wedding

Birthday parties = anniversary parties

Meet the baby parties (sort of)= birthday parties (in the sense that it is basically the birthday party for the birth).  They would also (kind of) = wedding reception. 

You can host your own wedding because it is a life event that you want witnesses for.  I suppose you could host your own birth party if you really wanted to. 

Hosting your child's birthday party is hosting a party in their honor, much as someone else (mother, sister, friend) hosting a shower for you is hosting it in your honor. 

As adults, how many people host birthday parties in their own honor?  Usually it's either an invitation of "hey---I'm throwing a surprise party for (guest of honor)" or "Hey, I want to invite you guys over for dinner".  As an adult, the company of someone's friends/family is the general (gift) expectation and is not specifically a gift-giving event. 

A quick way of telling whether or not it is a gift-giving event is if it would be weird/rude to receive an invite with a registry link.  How many birthday parties have you received that have had a registry?  Wedding invitations should not have registries, nor should birthday parties because these events are not specifically gift-giving events.  Many people do give gifts because they would like to, but not because it's expected of them. 

A meet the baby party is a party being held in honor of the child that has been born and is not explicitly a gift-giving occasion.  It's probably closer to a "birth party" in the wedding comparison I made above. 

Would you ever send someone an invitation that says "Hey, buy me stuff and come over to celebrate me?"  No, most people wouldn't.  Therefore, hosting your own shower is not acceptable.  

Stay tuned in the future for the review as to why second showers are not ok.  :-P
(You can thank my pinched nerve in my back and my sleeping toddler for the time spent on this post.  There's not a lot to do when you're spending most of the day reclining on the couch on a heating pad.)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Little Man (2 years old---holy cow)
Yes, he's mine. Yes, he's aware I'm a horrible mother. Yes, I plan on teaching him to act just like me.
No, CPS hasn't come to rescue him yet.
Yes, I'll make sure to let him know how sorry you feel for him.
 
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01-18-2013 at 11:03 AM
mben1119
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Well said. And I hope you feel better.
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01-18-2013 at 11:05 AM
blush64
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BallSox:
  

Would you ever send someone an invitation that says "Hey, buy me stuff and come over to celebrate me?"  No, most people wouldn't.  Therefore, hosting your own shower is not acceptable.  

Stay tuned in the future for the review as to why second showers are not ok.  :-P
(You can thank my pinched nerve in my back and my sleeping toddler for the time spent on this post.  There's not a lot to do when you're spending most of the day reclining on the couch on a heating pad.)


I do agree that hosting a party for yourself is not ok. I could not imagine doing that. I would never even host a dinner for my own birthday. The wedding reception is like a thank you to your guests for attending your wedding so I don't see that the same way. EDIT

Although I agree with most of this I would have to disagree with a blanket statement that second showers are not ok. Shower are seen as some as a welcme to motherhood. This is not the case for everyone. Some people have been having what is now called a shower for many years before there were such a big thing.My family has has showers for each baby since the days before my grandmother when I'm not sure they even called them showers. My family throws a party with lots of food and drinks and we give presents and we do it for every baby. We don't invite friends unless they have asked to come. This is not wrong and this is not tacky. Few people register for their shower since many people I know find registering for a baby shower to be wrong. (I don't care either way)

 
 
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01-18-2013 at 11:20 AM
BallSox
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blush64:
BallSox:
  

Would you ever send someone an invitation that says "Hey, buy me stuff and come over to celebrate me?"  No, most people wouldn't.  Therefore, hosting your own shower is not acceptable.  

Stay tuned in the future for the review as to why second showers are not ok.  :-P
(You can thank my pinched nerve in my back and my sleeping toddler for the time spent on this post.  There's not a lot to do when you're spending most of the day reclining on the couch on a heating pad.)


I do agree that hosting a party for yourself is not ok. I could not imagine doing that. I would never even host a dinner for my own birthday. The wedding reception is like a thank you to your guests for attending your wedding so I don't see that the same way. EDIT

Although I agree with most of this I would have to disagree with a blanket statement that second showers are not ok. Shower are seen as some as a welcme to motherhood. This is not the case for everyone. Some people have been having what is now called a shower for many years before there were such a big thing.My family has has showers for each baby since the days before my grandmother when I'm not sure they even called them showers. My family throws a party with lots of food and drinks and we give presents and we do it for every baby. We don't invite friends unless they have asked to come. This is not wrong and this is not tacky. Few people register for their shower since many people I know find registering for a baby shower to be wrong. (I don't care either way)

 

Reserve judgement on my post for the post itself, because I actually think that 2nd showers are ok in certain cases.   :-D
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Little Man (2 years old---holy cow)
Yes, he's mine. Yes, he's aware I'm a horrible mother. Yes, I plan on teaching him to act just like me.
No, CPS hasn't come to rescue him yet.
Yes, I'll make sure to let him know how sorry you feel for him.
 
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01-18-2013 at 11:35 AM
blush64
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BallSox:
blush64:
BallSox:
  

Would you ever send someone an invitation that says "Hey, buy me stuff and come over to celebrate me?"  No, most people wouldn't.  Therefore, hosting your own shower is not acceptable.  

Stay tuned in the future for the review as to why second showers are not ok.  :-P
(You can thank my pinched nerve in my back and my sleeping toddler for the time spent on this post.  There's not a lot to do when you're spending most of the day reclining on the couch on a heating pad.)


I do agree that hosting a party for yourself is not ok. I could not imagine doing that. I would never even host a dinner for my own birthday. The wedding reception is like a thank you to your guests for attending your wedding so I don't see that the same way. EDIT

Although I agree with most of this I would have to disagree with a blanket statement that second showers are not ok. Shower are seen as some as a welcme to motherhood. This is not the case for everyone. Some people have been having what is now called a shower for many years before there were such a big thing.My family has has showers for each baby since the days before my grandmother when I'm not sure they even called them showers. My family throws a party with lots of food and drinks and we give presents and we do it for every baby. We don't invite friends unless they have asked to come. This is not wrong and this is not tacky. Few people register for their shower since many people I know find registering for a baby shower to be wrong. (I don't care either way)

 

Reserve judgement on my post for the post itself, because I actually think that 2nd showers are ok in certain cases.   :-D

I was just giving my view, no judgement. I see why second showers can be a tricky subject but I don't see why people think it's ok to have a party asking other people for gifts.

 
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01-18-2013 at 11:56 AM
PunkyBoost...
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Sticky!!! Please?
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
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01-18-2013 at 12:25 PM
Disneygeek...
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Ha ha.  Good job.  There should also be a post on why it is not ok to tell people what kind of gift to buy / not buy.
 
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01-18-2013 at 1:34 PM
Estwd2
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(continuation of dance party from previous post...)
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01-18-2013 at 5:04 PM
Liz4444
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You forgot one point... If "it's not about the gifts", which everyone always claims, throw a party, have a grand old time, just don't call it a shower, mention baby on the invite, or include registry information. Then, all you will hear from us is, 'that sounds fantastic, you need help picking a cake flavor?'
Daisypath Happy Birthday tickersCafeMom Tickers photo 307df189-2dc4-4bea-9b76-9ac6ceda8155_zps59ea37ee.jpg 
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01-18-2013 at 5:08 PM
MandJS
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PunkyBooster:
Sticky!!! Please?

I could do that if people really wanted... I'm on a mod on my BMB...  

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."
 
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01-18-2013 at 6:11 PM
Cranang
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MandJS:

PunkyBooster:
Sticky!!! Please?

I could do that if people really wanted... I'm on a mod on my BMB...  

MandJS...please do it!!!  I know it wouldn't help everyone, but damn it would be a good reference.

 
[URL=http://alterna-tickers.com]


Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
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01-19-2013 at 4:09 AM
rhubarb123
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I agree with BallSox.
 
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