Thanks for the support. My husband is 30, I'm 27. We've been married about 5 years, and yes, we did have a no kids plan in place. And of course, all the responsibility for BC landed on me. That's part of the conflict, because he can't understand why I won't just get rid of it.
It's hard, because putting this in a post makes him sound like an ass, and I'm stupid if I stay. But, I realized if this ever happened, it was going to be an adjustment and a huge shock. Plus, if he does come around, I love him and it would be best if he is part of the kid's daily life. I'm willing to wait longer for him to figure things out.
My main concern is dealing with my parents, as they really don't like him, and I really don't need to hear how much of a jerk he is for doing this. I'm trying to figure out how to just shut that whole thing down before it becomes a vortex of negative crap about my husband for their whole visit.