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01-22-2013 at 7:58 AM
LeapOfFait...
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Ultrasound- sex of the baby

My mother-in-law is dying with excitement and wants to know the sex of our baby right.now.or.else. We're fine with waiting, we're fine with knowing earlier than 20 weeks, whatever.

She wants to take us to an ultrasound place (not my doctor) that does 3D ultrasounds and can tell you the sex as early as 14 weeks. What say ye, Bumpies? Should we do it? Do you think they'd be able to see the sex that early as they claim?

 Does anyone have experience with these kinds of places?

 
 
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01-22-2013 at 8:03 AM
lindsey618...
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The impatient surprise hating person inside of me was looking into this the other day. I didn't see anything about 14 weeks though.. all the places around me said the same time as my doctor, 18 weeks. So if that's the earliest they can do it, I don't see the point in spending the money.

The 3d aspect of the sonogram is definitely still cool, but if I was to do it my only reason would be to find out the sex earlier.
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01-22-2013 at 8:05 AM
anastasiac...
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I know my SIL found out with her second at 15 weeks.  But IMO the closer to 18-20 weeks you wait the more accurate.
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01-22-2013 at 8:17 AM
PrettyInPe...
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Tell her not to waste her money. I'd be totally creeped out seeing my partially developed baby in 3D at 14 weeks. But, that's just me.

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01-22-2013 at 8:17 AM
ScarletOfl...
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The places here say they can do it at 15 weeks, and that's when I found out what my middle son was(and it was VERY obvious!) at my OB office, so I know it can be done. 

I plan to get an elective at 15 weeks, and let them confirm at the 18-20 week a/s. 
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01-22-2013 at 8:29 AM
kacikaygir...
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SIL had an elective 3D u/s done with her last baby at 15w1d, and it was very clear it was a girl, and the doctor confirmed that at her anatomy scan 5 weeks later.

Me, personally, I wouldn't waste the money. Is MIL going to pay for it? If my MIL was going to pay, I'd do it, but not if it was coming out of my pocket.

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01-22-2013 at 8:32 AM
cole2144
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Doctors will tell you not to get an ultrasound done outside of a doctor`s office. The 3d ones creep me out personally.
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01-22-2013 at 8:35 AM
kelle017
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I wouldn't pay for one, but if someone else was I might.  

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01-22-2013 at 8:43 AM
LoisLayn23
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Little skeleton aliens are not cute. Wait until they get a little meat on their bones for a 3D. Plus, I'd be concerned what else MIL is going to bully you into.
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01-22-2013 at 8:44 AM
chicsahm
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With DS we were at a specialists office and so we were going all the time. They KNOW exactly what to look for and we found out at 14 weeks.... but they also told me there is still a chance it could be wrong that early (even though it was pretty darn obvious it was a boy)! That being said it all depends on the position of the baby, the ultrasound tech (because they are not all good), and how the development is progressing... which is why they wait until 20 weeks. Things are still forming and developing down there.
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01-22-2013 at 8:58 AM
ScarletOfl...
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cole2144:
Doctors will tell you not to get an ultrasound done outside of a doctor`s office. The 3d ones creep me out personally.

My OB has no issue with it, and they offer the elective gender u/s themselves.  
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01-22-2013 at 9:05 AM
cole2144
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ScarletOflaherty:

cole2144:
Doctors will tell you not to get an ultrasound done outside of a doctor`s office. The 3d ones creep me out personally.

My OB has no issue with it, and they offer the elective gender u/s themselves.  

All my friends who have children and myself have been told not to do so.Not all doctors will advise against but many will.

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01-22-2013 at 9:13 AM
shelbell10...
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kacikaygirl224:

SIL had an elective 3D u/s done with her last baby at 15w1d, and it was very clear it was a girl, and the doctor confirmed that at her anatomy scan 5 weeks later.

Me, personally, I wouldn't waste the money. Is MIL going to pay for it? If my MIL was going to pay, I'd do it, but not if it was coming out of my pocket.

I agree with this.  If MIL is aware that it may be too early and still wants to spend the money I say go for it!
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01-22-2013 at 9:18 AM
MurphMama
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With my first, we found out early, accidentally.  It was a boy and the tech said she was 90% sure. I think that was around 14w?  But then we had the 20w u/s that confirmed.  I would be happy to know as early as possible but there's no way in hell i'd let MIL be part of that.  Just for her overbearing nosiness, i'd make her wait even if I found out early!  But i'm a biatch like that.

 
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01-22-2013 at 9:20 AM
cole2144
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MurphMama:

With my first, we found out early, accidentally.  It was a boy and the tech said she was 90% sure. I think that was around 14w?  But then we had the 20w u/s that confirmed.  I would be happy to know as early as possible but there's no way in hell i'd let MIL be part of that.  Just for her overbearing nosiness, i'd make her wait even if I found out early!  But i'm a biatch like that.

 

This, or anyone else for that matter. That moment is for myself and DH to share alone.

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01-22-2013 at 9:25 AM
MrsPhinney
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If I were you I'd say no just on principle. Personally that's something private between you and your DH first, then it should be shared when YOU are ready to. 
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01-22-2013 at 9:36 AM
leahaustin
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I know it is hard, but I would wait until 20 weeks. It is going to be more accurate and you do not want to find out the wrong sex. I would just tell your MIL to chill. lol jk. ;)
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01-22-2013 at 9:49 AM
plunderb
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Setting aside how reliable/advisable early ultrasounds at independent places are, I would say no on principle. I wouldn't want to open the door to being pestered by someone who has difficulty chilling out about this sort of thing.
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01-22-2013 at 9:51 AM
BellaOso
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Some OBs don't like patients to get the 3d one because they are worried the tech at the "recreational" type places may diagnose something or say everything is okay when it isn't. They don't want you to get blindsided by good or bad news away from their office. I respect that....

And I still got a 3d done with DD1 at 14 weeks where they determined her gender. I was delighted. She did look like a baby, albeit she was the color of ear wax or melted cheese. I was anti-recreational 3d scan, but some friends bought us a 2 pack. We did one to determine gender at 14 weeks, and one when I was like 33-34 weeks.  I loved it. 

 
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01-22-2013 at 10:09 AM
Shanmarie1...
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MrsPhinney:
If I were you I'd say no just on principle. Personally that's something private between you and your DH first, then it should be shared when YOU are ready to. 

ITA.

It sounds like this is the first of a lot of things that she is going to try to bully you to get her way on. Just wait until she demands to be at the 20 week a/s or at the birth itself. I would tell her that while you appreciate her interest, you will find out when you are ready.  I personally wouldn't pay money to do a 3D that early... for one thing the facial features aren't fully developed and it's kind of creepy, but more importantly it isn't as accurate that early.  If you as the parents can wait, then she can definitely wait. Just my 2 cents. 
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01-22-2013 at 10:10 AM
Nukke
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I would never get an ultrasound for non-medical reasons.  I'd tell my mum to calm down and enjoy the surprise after 9 months like everyone else.

There are many medical associations that are against non-medical ultrasounds. ACOG and the AIUM say, "The use of either two-dimensional (2D) or three-dimensional (3D) ultrasound to only view the fetus, obtain a picture of the fetus or determine the fetal gender without a medical indication is inappropriate and contrary to responsible medical practice."
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01-22-2013 at 10:31 AM
stackie16
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Just to warn you, on our June board we have had 2 girls that had earlier than 16 week u/s and at their 20 week found out it was the opposite sex.  Tell her to wait so she doesn't waste more money on clothes and an extra u/s!
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01-22-2013 at 10:45 AM
BabyCampbe...
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We did one around 14ish weeks with our first... not for gender but just to show family before someone left the country. The tech said, "want to know the sex? I'm 110% positive it is a boy." 

Well, 4 weeks later my doctor laughed and said, "hope you didn't buy too much blue stuff..." 

 It's a fun experience but I wouldn't go for gender purposes that early. 

 

 
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01-22-2013 at 10:50 AM
magdalina....
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The places around here won't do them until after the a/s because if they find something wrong, they can't tell you.
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01-22-2013 at 10:57 AM
ilovetolau...
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Honestly, I'd tell my MIL to calm the eff down.  She can find out after you and your H find out.  Unless you really want her there for some reason.  She sounds like a bully and like she's going to try to control your pregnancy/this baby's life.
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01-22-2013 at 11:10 AM
EllaHella
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Tell your MIL to back off.  She sounds like she will be fabulous to deal with over the next 18 years.
 
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01-22-2013 at 11:32 AM
nde99
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As long as you're okay knowing, I'd jump on that!  We got a great shot of DS at our 12 week NT scan and it was obvious at that point he was a boy.  I actually spotted it, the u/s tech didn't want to say anything.  After I pointed it out, she said she was 90% sure it was a boy.  We went at 15 weeks and had an elective 3D which still said boy and was confirmed at the 20 week anatomy scan.  That being said, they're not always accurate but it's still fun.  I'd take MIL up on that because I'm as inpatient as they come.  Good luck! 
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01-22-2013 at 11:45 AM
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LoisLane23:
Plus, I'd be concerned what else MIL is going to bully you into.

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01-22-2013 at 11:46 AM
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MrsPhinney:
If I were you I'd say no just on principle. Personally that's something private between you and your DH first, then it should be shared when YOU are ready to. 

Agreed.  If you're willing to wait, so should she.  Don't let her drive your pregnancy bus.  

It's a boy!
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01-22-2013 at 12:19 PM
LeapOfFait...
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cole2144:
MurphMama:

With my first, we found out early, accidentally.  It was a boy and the tech said she was 90% sure. I think that was around 14w?  But then we had the 20w u/s that confirmed.  I would be happy to know as early as possible but there's no way in hell i'd let MIL be part of that.  Just for her overbearing nosiness, i'd make her wait even if I found out early!  But i'm a biatch like that.

 

This, or anyone else for that matter. That moment is for myself and DH to share alone.

 

 

We're very close- I love sharing all parts of our family with both of our moms. MIL did say she would pay for it. I guess I'll talk to my husband and see what he thinks!
 
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