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01-22-2013 at 9:35 AM
jennld579
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Registry debate with husband

My husband and I were talking about registering last night. He thinks we should wait to buy furniture and register for the furniture. Then buy it after the shower if we don't get it. I don't think we should have that big of items on the registry. The biggest items I'm willing to register for are a pack n play, a car seat, a stroller, a glider, and maybe a bouncer and swing. I think that's PLENTY of big stuff if our mothers are wanting to get something big. Or if a few friends want to go in on something together. It may even be border line for having too many big things. We will definitely register for lots of small things too. I also don't want to wait that long to get the crib, dresser and changing table. I'd like to have his room set up before we start filling it with things. What are your thoughts on this?  

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01-22-2013 at 9:38 AM
EastCoastB...
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I personally agree with you.  I feel like there is a point where the parents to be need to just proactively take on some of the bigger expenses themselves. To really put EVERYTHING out there hoping that others buy it for you.... eh, it's not necessary.

Also, while you really don't NEED all the furniture set up before the baby comes, at the same time, that's just one thing I'd rather have done before the baby comes.  One less thing to worry about. 


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01-22-2013 at 9:39 AM
wittyschaf...
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Register for the furniture.  Your registry is just a wish list of items for you and your baby.  You never know what people will want to buy you and it isn't your job to decide what is too much for someone to give you - know what I mean?  

Besides, if you have it on your registry and you don't get it and buy it on your own, you'll get that lovely registry completion coupon to use towards it and save yourself a little money.   

 
01-22-2013 at 9:47 AM
Estwd2
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Can you use the discount on furniture? For some reason, I didn't think you could.

I'd personally leave it off. Anyone who would get you furniture would probably ask you directly, not wait for a registry. My ILs bought ours as a gift and they didn't wait for us to register to offer.


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01-22-2013 at 10:07 AM
JenniD2
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Estwd2:

Can you use the discount on furniture? For some reason, I didn't think you could.

I'd personally leave it off. Anyone who would get you furniture would probably ask you directly, not wait for a registry. My ILs bought ours as a gift and they didn't wait for us to register to offer.

This. Both my parents and my ILs told DH and I that they will be buying the crib, crib mattress, and the dresser/changing table for the LO. However, before they had offered to buy those items for us, DH and I still planned on buying those items ourselves. While I do have big ticket items on the registry (like the stroller, car seat, etc.), I would not feel comfortable asking for furniture especially on a baby registry.


 
01-22-2013 at 10:15 AM
tilsonc
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I agree with you. The grandparents or whomever will mention something about the nursery and how they want to buy the crib, ect if they want to help out with the furniture. Our MIL bought us the dresser from PBK and we went shopping together. She told us when we first annouced the news that she wanted to help with the crib. We got all the rest of the big items and left some larger items (pack/play, bouncer, ect) on the registery in case someone wanted to get us something big.
 
01-22-2013 at 10:18 AM
EastCoastB...
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To what people are saying - that's the thing, your "random" shower guest isn't going to see your crib and think "Oh- I'll get that", even combined w/ other people.

I think most people see the furniture as special and expect the parents will want to buy it, OR that special family members (like grandparents) will want to buy it.  Even if they wanted to do it, they wouldn't because they wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes.  KWIM? 


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01-22-2013 at 10:43 AM
Of The Eld
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For what its worth: We had our crib on our registry, mostly because it took us so long to pick one we scanned it just so we'd never have to make that decision a second time (Dh is picky about wood stain) and so we could get the discount on it later. It was the first thing that was bought (DH's boss was super generous and got it for us) We had looked at our registry as a catalog of things we had already picked out, rather than a "hey buy us this stuff" list. But we also didn't put the registry info on the invties for the shower, so I guess it balances out.

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01-22-2013 at 10:43 AM
discobelle
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I wouldn't feel comfortable registering for furniture.   

My mom insisted on buying our crib and dresser, but we didn't need to put it on the registry for her to buy it.   


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01-22-2013 at 10:44 AM
milkergirl...
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wittyschaffy:

Register for the furniture.  Your registry is just a wish list of items for you and your baby.  You never know what people will want to buy you and it isn't your job to decide what is too much for someone to give you - know what I mean?  

Besides, if you have it on your registry and you don't get it and buy it on your own, you'll get that lovely registry completion coupon to use towards it and save yourself a little money.   

This.  I put everything on the registry, not expecting people to buy everything, but I want it on there for the completion coupon.  I only registered at Target, and it broke down our registry by price range, and I actually had more things around $20 or less, even with the big ticket items on there.  And my MIL asked us if she could buy the crib, and because it was on the registry, she was able to see which one I had researched and decided on, instead of her spending money on something we didn't want.  Same with the carseat that my birth mom bought and high chair that my mom bought.  You never know what people will buy you, and this way they know what you'll want if they do.  If they don't buy it for you, no biggie since you were going to buy it anyway, and it will be on the registry for that completion coupon. 


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01-22-2013 at 10:45 AM
Helenahhan...
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EastCoastBride:

To what people are saying - that's the thing, your "random" shower guest isn't going to see your crib and think "Oh- I'll get that", even combined w/ other people.

I think most people see the furniture as special and expect the parents will want to buy it, OR that special family members (like grandparents) will want to buy it.  Even if they wanted to do it, they wouldn't because they wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes.  KWIM? 

100% agree with the bolded.  Leave the furniture off the registry.

Even if your folks/ grandparents/ whomever doesn't offer to buy your furniture, I promise you that you do not need a nursery set up 100% when your LO is born.  My DD didn't spend the night in her crib until she was 12 weeks old, and from what I have heard from friends, that was early.


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01-22-2013 at 10:58 AM
1026pumpki...
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I've seen furniture on registries plenty of times and I never side eye it- I figure someone close to the couple (like the grandparents) or a group might go in together for it.

That said, I wouldn't do this unless they carry the furniture you want in the store and you can take it with you.  If people don't buy it for your shower and you end up having a several week delay before it gets delivered, you might not have it before the baby comes.

DH and I felt more comfortable buying the "must haves" furniture, car seat, stroller ahead of time when we saw good deals and getting everything all set up.


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01-22-2013 at 11:41 AM
MAdams728
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I wouldnt put the furniture on a registry.  It just dosent seem right to me.  I would be embarassed thinking that people would see it and assume that I hoped others would pay for the most expensive items. 

I didnt even put the car seat on our registry because it was too much.  The priciest things on mine are the pack n play and stroller, and I hesitated on the stroller.  

I've always been a little weird about people buying things for me, though.  I'm grateful, but I've always felt kind of awkward. 


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01-22-2013 at 12:01 PM
PunkyBoost...
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EastCoastBride:

I personally agree with you.  I feel like there is a point where the parents to be need to just proactively take on some of the bigger expenses themselves. To really put EVERYTHING out there hoping that others buy it for you.... eh, it's not necessary.

Also, while you really don't NEED all the furniture set up before the baby comes, at the same time, that's just one thing I'd rather have done before the baby comes.  One less thing to worry about. 

All of this.



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01-22-2013 at 12:12 PM
ordinary1
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Put everything on.  I recently registered and wasn't going to register for furniture, but was told by STMs and others to register for everything.  You never know if friends or family want to go in together on a big item.  Yes, they could ask you what you want but some might want to surprise you with big items.  If they don't, completion coupon. 

When I registered we had the mentality of this is our checklist.  I am not expecting anyone to buy off of it and am planning on buying all of it. I am not worried about looking gift grabby because my family/friends know me and how I am.  They know I am not expecting anything or looking for handouts.


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01-22-2013 at 12:13 PM
LilyLove29
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PunkyBooster:
EastCoastBride:

I personally agree with you.  I feel like there is a point where the parents to be need to just proactively take on some of the bigger expenses themselves. To really put EVERYTHING out there hoping that others buy it for you.... eh, it's not necessary.

Also, while you really don't NEED all the furniture set up before the baby comes, at the same time, that's just one thing I'd rather have done before the baby comes.  One less thing to worry about. 

All of this.




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01-22-2013 at 1:26 PM
Runner1981
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Our shower will be at 37 weeks so I preferred to get the big ticket necessities as we found them for prices we could afford rather than waiting it out to see who would buy those things for us. When I developed my registry it was based on the assumption that no one would get us anything that this was a list of things we need and intend on purchasing. Bonus if its purchased for us by someone. My opinion is to put it on your registry when you decide what you like, but maybe buy one thing here or there as the date gets closer to be on the safe side. When I see people registered for furniture I always assume they have it on there for grandparents to buy, not because they're hoping for friends to buy it.

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01-22-2013 at 1:45 PM
caladpi02
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We did not put furniture, mattress, diapers, wipes and stroller on our registry. I agree with PP that it is kind of a gift reserved for family (parents, IL) or something you get yourself. I also wanted a nice lifetime dresser that cost about 1k, no way I was going to register for that.

I have hardly ever seen furniture, strollers, wipes and diapers on registries where I am from. This type of stuff is really for the parents to get.


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01-22-2013 at 1:47 PM
laurenann8...
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For a coworkers baby shower (not at work, a shower thrown by her friend that her friends from work were invited to) me and the other women she worked with chipped in for the crib. It was $50 a piece, which seemed like a reasonable amount to spend. So I say put the furniture on!
01-22-2013 at 2:34 PM
CRLSMC2011
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I think it's okay to put EVERYTHING on.  You get the completion bonus and you are not telling people what to get.  As long as you have plenty of other things in a variety of price ranges (much of our stuff is under $10, most is in the $30-40 range and we have a few bigger items such as matress, stroller, car seat, pack and play, monitor, etc.).  We also put a note on our registry that people should feel free to be creative and get what they think will be useful. 

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01-22-2013 at 3:45 PM
mel8255
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I could see how people would think the grandparents would buy the furniture if all of those things were on the registry.  If you're nervous what people think, just add the items after your shower(s), and then you still get the discounts after LO comes. 

 
01-22-2013 at 4:00 PM
jennld579
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Thank you for everyone's response! It is greatly appreciated!!

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01-22-2013 at 9:51 PM
starscream
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wittyschaffy:

Register for the furniture.  Your registry is just a wish list of items for you and your baby.  You never know what people will want to buy you and it isn't your job to decide what is too much for someone to give you - know what I mean?  

Besides, if you have it on your registry and you don't get it and buy it on your own, you'll get that lovely registry completion coupon to use towards it and save yourself a little money.   

 

This.  


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01-23-2013 at 7:59 AM
rhubarb123
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I didn't put a lot of big items on my registry because all of my showers were pretty late in my pregnancy and I didn't want to have LO come early and then have to deal with setting up furniture, etc.  We had already purchased the crib, dresser and carseat/stroller combo.  I did have the PNP and breast pump on there (and got them both).  My family is really not known for spending a lot on shower gifts though.  If you'll have plenty of time...might as well put it all out there...espcially if others in your family have done so and your family friends usually purchase the more expensive items.
 
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