All I have to say is you are only going to feel worse. Pregnancy does not get easier over the next coming weeks/months. If he isn't helping you NOW. I can only imagine when your back aches and feet are swollen and your carrying all the extra weight.

You have WAYYYYYYYY more tolerance for his laziness then I would. My SO doesn't make me lift a finger. Drives me 15 miles to work and picks me up from work so I can not relate.

No one here knows your DH so how can we advise on how to approach it? My advice would have been to NOT do any of the work and eventually the dirtiness would get to him. Looks like you have already done that and your slob of a H doesn't mind living in utter filth! I can only imagine how dirty it will get once there's throw up stains on clothes, sour milk smells, poopy diapers lying around. 

Sounds like you need a real PARTNER. 

 GL with that!

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

I have asked DH to help more than usual, but when he is OOT like he is now, I still manage to wash the dish I used that day.   And I still manage to change my daughter's diaper regularly and feed her properly. There are just some things you have to do, tired or not.

Also, this won't get better once the baby is here, so I would suggest getting used to it and learning to get the basics done when in a zombie state.

jlpev:

If he's not working then what does he do during the day? Sounds like he should be helping around the house. Sorry you are going through this but it really sounds like he should be doing more to help since u are working full time.[/quote
Seriously what does he do all day?? My husband is laid off so he has been doing all the laundry, dishes and cooking. I even came home to clean sheets on our bed the other day. I would be ticked to come home to a dirty house after working all day when DH had been home all day!

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full time when her H clearly sits around all day doing nothing?

When my H was laid of years ago, he did all of the groceries, laundry, a lot of the cleaning and most of the cooking. Because I was at work all day and that is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full time when her H clearly sits around all day doing nothing?

When my H was laid of years ago, he did all of the groceries, laundry, a lot of the cleaning and most of the cooking. Because I was at work all day and that is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

Why? Because it is gross. I am not saying he shouldn't help more, but I could not live like that. That's gross.  I might mutter and complain, but that won't make me leave dishes in the sink for a month. Did anyone read the post? So, he's a lazy slob. I am sure this is not news.  

My sister's husband is a lazy slob who rarely works. She works full time, has three kids and guess what, she does the dishes. It's what she signed up for when she married a dead beat. I would guess the same of the OP.  Sometimes life isn't fair.  

Maybe they should get a divorce. One thing they should not do is live in filth. 

pepomntpat:

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full time when her H clearly sits around all day doing nothing?

When my H was laid of years ago, he did all of the groceries, laundry, a lot of the cleaning and most of the cooking. Because I was at work all day and that is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

Why? Because it is gross. I am not saying he shouldn't help more, but I could not live like that. That's gross.  I might mutter and complain, but that won't make me leave dishes in the sink for a month. Did anyone read the post? So, he's a lazy slob. I am sure this is not news.  

My sister's husband is a lazy slob who rarely works. She works full time, has three kids and guess what, she does the dishes. It's what she signed up for when she married a dead beat. I would guess the same of the OP.  Sometimes life isn't fair.  

Maybe they should get a divorce. One thing they should not do is live in filth. 

I get it. I'm a neat freak too and could not live in filth. But I'd seriously be re-evaluating my relationship if my husband expected me to clean the house when he did nothing and was at home all day. Sorry, but that is not acceptable in any marriage and the OP deserves better.

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full time when her H clearly sits around all day doing nothing?

When my H was laid of years ago, he did all of the groceries, laundry, a lot of the cleaning and most of the cooking. Because I was at work all day and that is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

Why? Because it is gross. I am not saying he shouldn't help more, but I could not live like that. That's gross.  I might mutter and complain, but that won't make me leave dishes in the sink for a month. Did anyone read the post? So, he's a lazy slob. I am sure this is not news.  

My sister's husband is a lazy slob who rarely works. She works full time, has three kids and guess what, she does the dishes. It's what she signed up for when she married a dead beat. I would guess the same of the OP.  Sometimes life isn't fair.  

Maybe they should get a divorce. One thing they should not do is live in filth. 

I get it. I'm a neat freak too and could not live in filth. But I'd seriously be re-evaluating my relationship if my husband expected me to clean the house when he did nothing and was at home all day. Sorry, but that is not acceptable in any marriage and the OP deserves better.

I know pep's post might get some side eyes but the fact of the matter is, people don't morph into selfish, lazy, dirty SOBs overnight.  OP has two choices.  Duke it out with the H over his behavior or clean something.  If I had to clean up after his non working ass, he'd likely be a non-working HOMELESS ass but at least then I'd only have to clean up after myself. 

elmoali:

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full time when her H clearly sits around all day doing nothing?

When my H was laid of years ago, he did all of the groceries, laundry, a lot of the cleaning and most of the cooking. Because I was at work all day and that is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

Why? Because it is gross. I am not saying he shouldn't help more, but I could not live like that. That's gross.  I might mutter and complain, but that won't make me leave dishes in the sink for a month. Did anyone read the post? So, he's a lazy slob. I am sure this is not news.  

My sister's husband is a lazy slob who rarely works. She works full time, has three kids and guess what, she does the dishes. It's what she signed up for when she married a dead beat. I would guess the same of the OP.  Sometimes life isn't fair.  

Maybe they should get a divorce. One thing they should not do is live in filth. 

I get it. I'm a neat freak too and could not live in filth. But I'd seriously be re-evaluating my relationship if my husband expected me to clean the house when he did nothing and was at home all day. Sorry, but that is not acceptable in any marriage and the OP deserves better.

I know pep's post might get some side eyes but the fact of the matter is, people don't morph into selfish, lazy, dirty SOBs overnight.  OP has two choices.  Duke it out with the H over his behavior or clean something.  If I had to clean up after his non working ass, he'd likely be a non-working HOMELESS ass but at least then I'd only have to clean up after myself. 

true that.

TheyCalledHerKate:

I get it. I'm a neat freak too and could not live in filth. But I'd seriously be re-evaluating my relationship if my husband expected me to clean the house when he did nothing and was at home all day. Sorry, but that is not acceptable in any marriage and the OP deserves better.

Like I said, not saying she doesn't. Just saying, I don't care how tired you are or how unfair it is, dirty dishes in the sink for a month is gross. FFS, is she going to raise her child in a filthy home because her husband is a lazy slob. Sometimes you just have to do things.

And if she does reevaluate her relationship she will still be doing everything. So, I guess she has to decide. Do the house work and complain about her lazy husband or do the house work and complain about being a single mom. Either way she has to clean the house. You can't make another person do your bidding. 

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

I have asked DH to help more than usual, but when he is OOT like he is now, I still manage to wash the dish I used that day.   And I still manage to change my daughter's diaper regularly and feed her properly. There are just some things you have to do, tired or not.

Also, this won't get better once the baby is here, so I would suggest getting used to it and learning to get the basics done when in a zombie state.

I'm with you on this. This is disgusting. I don't care how tired you are, you get up and clean your house. Lazy husband or not, there is no excuse for this. If you're feeling this poorly, perhaps you need to speak to your doctor.

Sure, he should be doing more around the house and it sounds like he needs a serious wake-up call. If he's not working, he has an obligation to put in some time cleaning, doing laundry, etc. But that does not excuse a grown woman from all household responsibility.

monaclemere:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

I have asked DH to help more than usual, but when he is OOT like he is now, I still manage to wash the dish I used that day.   And I still manage to change my daughter's diaper regularly and feed her properly. There are just some things you have to do, tired or not.

Also, this won't get better once the baby is here, so I would suggest getting used to it and learning to get the basics done when in a zombie state.

I'm with you on this. This is disgusting. I don't care how tired you are, you get up and clean your house. Lazy husband or not, there is no excuse for this. If you're feeling this poorly, perhaps you need to speak to your doctor.

Sure, he should be doing more around the house and it sounds like he needs a serious wake-up call. If he's not working, he has an obligation to put in some time cleaning, doing laundry, etc. But that does not excuse a grown woman from all household responsibility.

And I also hate the throw down the STM card but being lazy is just not a luxury afforded to people other than FTMs.  And believe me, I remember taking full advantage of being exhausted the first time around.  It felt all consuming.  But it's not because this time I'm exhausted and feel gross and my son has to eat, be entertained, bathed and have clean clothes.  You just do it. 

ETA - I want to clarify that I do not think all FTMs are lazy lol  I re-read that and thought it came across badly.  I'm just saying that if you think you're wiped now, OP, it gets worse because you just CAN'T be lazy once a kid is involved. 

Yeah, um, ditto the whole "equal partnership" thing. What exactly is your husband contributing if he's not working? "I'm not going to do any more than you do around here," okay then, by his reasoning, I guess that means he doesn't get to live in the house, use the water, use the electricity, or eat the food. 

Sorry, but your DH is sounding like a supreme d-bag, here. You need to sit down and figure this out together before the baby arrives, because it sounds like his expectation would then be that you work full-time, pay the bills, take care of the house, the shopping, AND all the baby care. If you can't find a way to talk about it without things escalating into a huge fight, maybe take the discussion to a marriage counseling office. 

andrea0418:

And I must add....even if I wasn't pregnant I would still be mad to come home and have to do all the house work if DH was home!!

pepomntpat:

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO.
That's just gross. You are both gross.
b>

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full
time when her H clearly sits around all
day doing nothing?

When my
H was laid of years ago, he did all of
the groceries, laundry, a lot of the
cleaning and most of the cooking.
Because I was at work all day and that
is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

Why? Because it is gross. I am not saying he shouldn't help more, but I could not
live like that. That's gross.  I
might mutter and complain, but that
won't make me leave dishes in the sink
for a month. Did anyone read the
post? So, he's a lazy slob. I am sure
this is not news.  

My sister's husband is a lazy slob who
rarely works. She works full time, has three kids and guess what, she does the dishes. It's what she signed up for when she married a dead beat. I
would guess the same of the OP.
 Sometimes life isn't fair.
 

Maybe they should get
a divorce. One thing they should not
do is live in filth. 

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full time when her H clearly sits around all day doing nothing?

When my H was laid of years ago, he did all of the groceries, laundry, a lot of the cleaning and most of the cooking. Because I was at work all day and that is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

THANK YOU! 

pepomntpat:

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full time when her H clearly sits around all day doing nothing?

When my H was laid of years ago, he did all of the groceries, laundry, a lot of the cleaning and most of the cooking. Because I was at work all day and that is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

Why? Because it is gross. I am not saying he shouldn't help more, but I could not live like that. That's gross.  I might mutter and complain, but that won't make me leave dishes in the sink for a month. Did anyone read the post? So, he's a lazy slob. I am sure this is not news.  

My sister's husband is a lazy slob who rarely works. She works full time, has three kids and guess what, she does the dishes. It's what she signed up for when she married a dead beat. I would guess the same of the OP.  Sometimes life isn't fair.  

Maybe they should get a divorce. One thing they should not do is live in filth. 

And what is this "help" bullshizz?  HELP?!  I wonder if you're also one of those people who think the men "babysit" their own kids. 

Is this actually a real question?   

imoan:

pepomntpat:

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full time when her H clearly sits around all day doing nothing?

When my H was laid of years ago, he did all of the groceries, laundry, a lot of the cleaning and most of the cooking. Because I was at work all day and that is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

Why? Because it is gross. I am not saying he shouldn't help more, but I could not live like that. That's gross.  I might mutter and complain, but that won't make me leave dishes in the sink for a month. Did anyone read the post? So, he's a lazy slob. I am sure this is not news.  

My sister's husband is a lazy slob who rarely works. She works full time, has three kids and guess what, she does the dishes. It's what she signed up for when she married a dead beat. I would guess the same of the OP.  Sometimes life isn't fair.  

Maybe they should get a divorce. One thing they should not do is live in filth. 

 

And what is this "help" bullshizz?  HELP?!  I wonder if you're also one of those people who think the men "babysit" their own kids. 

LOL! No, I just didn't marry a lazy slob.

Are you all telling me that if your husbands just didn't do anything you'd let the house rot? Really?  I am glad I am not your neighbor. 

jlpev:

pepomntpat:

TheyCalledHerKate:

pepomntpat:

Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I get being tired, but no one is so tired they live in a trash dump. Clean your house. Clutter is one thing, but dirt and moldy food-NO. That's just gross. You are both gross.

Why should SHE clean the house when she is pregnant and works full time when her H clearly sits around all day doing nothing?

When my H was laid of years ago, he did all of the groceries, laundry, a lot of the cleaning and most of the cooking. Because I was at work all day and that is what an equal partner does. I wouldn't tolerate anything otherwise. Marriage is 50/50. If he's not working, he needs to be contributing in other ways.

Why? Because it is gross. I am not saying he shouldn't help more, but I could not live like that. That's gross.  I might mutter and complain, but that won't make me leave dishes in the sink for a month. Did anyone read the post? So, he's a lazy slob. I am sure this is not news.  

My sister's husband is a lazy slob who rarely works. She works full time, has three kids and guess what, she does the dishes. It's what she signed up for when she married a dead beat. I would guess the same of the OP.  Sometimes life isn't fair.  

Maybe they should get a divorce. One thing they should not do is live in filth. 

I just don't understand how you can tell someone that maybe they should get divorced.

Well, if your husband isn't doing anythign and is that disgusting that he lets the dishes sit for a month and it is that important to you that he do them that you let them sit there for a month, there is definitely something wrong in the relationship and it isn't just the husband.

I am really floored. If she were cleaning the house and saying, "Dammit, my husband really needs to pick up the slack" I'd be on her side. But the fact that she is sitting in filth suggests some serious issues on both of their parts.

Really, just GROSS.  

First off, your husband is a douche, but I would be surprised if this immature just popped up when you became pregnant.

I'm going to have to agree with PP that mentioned that you have the luxury of being tired being a FTM. Buck up, do a little something every day and it sounds like your husband has agreed to do the same.

I have so many questions like who has that many dishes, and where have they been for the past month?