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01-23-2013 at 7:38 AM
Aprilmomx2
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What would you do - Daycare and Tummy time?

Good morning!  I don’t post much here anymore but I really need some opinions please.  My DS is going to be 10 months next week and he still doesn’t roll over, crawl, push / pull himself up to sit or stand, cruise furniture, etc.  He scoots on his butt and will sit just fine if we put him down sitting.  He has been in PT early on for torticollis and we corrected that and were released from PT.  We thought we were doing plenty of tummy time with him but when he started daycare I feel they just don’t do enough with him as much as I have tried to tell the different teachers how much he needs it. 

 

The Pedi said if he still isn’t rolling and crawling by 12 months we will go back to PT (to be on the safe side and be proactive) which I would prefer to be, but I also don’t want to be in PT.  I would rather work on this issue myself in the next 2 months.  DH tried to talk to the teachers again last night at daycare (which I have always loved our daycare and never had an issue with until now, and we have an almost 3 year old there too).  He was told they are “too busy” to work with him a lot and all the other kids in his class are already walking and crawling, their plan is to bring in an exersaucer so he can stand more and strengthen his legs instead of just sitting all day. 

 

I know they have other kids and  they can’t spend all day attending to mine, but I would hope they could spend a few minutes each morning and afternoon helping him with tummy time and if that isn’t the case, perhaps he needs to move back to the smaller infant room until he is up to speed with crawling or walking. 

 

I guess I just wanted to find out what you would do in this situation?  Would you try to go to the daycare and talk to them yourself and make it clear he needs tummy time as well as exersaucer time?  I just am not sure how clear my husband made a case for tummy time.  Sometimes he doesn’t make things very clear.  I don’t want to jump straight up to the director if he didn’t really stress the importance of tummy time, etc.  I did call him today and ask that he stress that tonight and mention that if they don’t work on tummy time with him we will have to do PT again with him.  I want them to know the importance of this.  We can only do so much at home for the hour we see him at night and on weekends. 

 

What would you do?
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01-23-2013 at 7:58 AM
aeh72
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I'm sorry you going through this and struggling with your daycare.  Maybe you could ask to have a separate conversation with them not during drop off/pick up time. I'm sure it's quite busy then and hard for them to give you a lot of time discussing why they may not be able to do spend as much one-on-one time with him doing tummy time (although I'm not sure if that's even a reasonable answer from them since wouldn't they be doing a certain amount of tummy time with younger infants? Why can't they treat him as if he was younger with regard to tummy time?).  When you are able to have a more focused conversation with them, maybe you can work out something that works for both of you.

Regarding the exersaucer - I would ask your son's physical therapist what he/she thinks about that. My son was in PT for torticollis too and at our very first session I got a big lecture (not in a rude way) about how "positioners" like exersaucers actually interefere with development and how it was much more important to focus on tummy time because that's how babies develop the muscles they need for crawling, rolling, etc.  So, I would not want my daycare's solution to be to put him an excersaucer for long periods of time.  In fact, in Virginia, I believe the law only allows DC's to use positions for something like 10 or 15 minutes max at a time.

GL to you!
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01-23-2013 at 8:07 AM
Aprilmomx2
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Thank you, yes, that is a great solution. I know, I can't even focus during drop off and pick up wiht all the babies crying and such!  Plus, I am usually not able to do pickup and that is when his teachers are there, so perhaps I will call and try to schedule a time to talk about his issues.  Great idea!

And yes, I brought that up to my husband about the exersaucer, I didn't just want him being tossed in that and ignored and besides that, it wasn't even the issue, he needs to work on his core muscles, those are the issue.  So I will be addressing that as well.

As far as the younger infants and tummy time, they are all in a seperate room, that is why I am thinking if we can't come to an agreement or find time for them to work with my son, then perhaps he needs to move back down a room with the younger infants until he can crawl and walk.  He is jsut not up to speed with the infants his age yet and I am guessing he was moved up a bit too soon in hopes he would see the others moving about and get motivated, but I don't think motivation is his issue. 

Thanks for your input!
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01-23-2013 at 8:54 AM
eyenigh
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I would never trust my husband to take care of something like this. Not because he doesn't care, but he just isn't good at getting the point across of how important something is and why. I would definitely speak to them myself if it's something that you want them to do.

It does sound like he was moved rather quickly if he doesn't have the same skills as those around him yet. If it were me, I'd rather put him back in the smaller infant room because I would assume that those babies are working on similar skills so tummy time is likely a regular part of their day. With older infants, I don't think that's something that they have designated times for anymore.

In all fairness to the day care, and I don't know how many kids they have, but if they have a roomful of crawling, cruising and walking infants, I think it WOULD be difficult to work with your little guy simply because wrangling those other moving little monsters is a full-time job. At the same time, if they know that they don't have time, and they understand that he needs this, they should be pushing to have him back in the room with the smaller infants since that is a more stationary group and a lot less chasing. It just makes more sense to me to put him with kids in his skill group, especially if it isn't a motivational issue.

I hope you get everything worked out in the best way for your son.
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01-23-2013 at 9:20 AM
aeh72
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Aprilmomx2:

Thank you, yes, that is a great solution. I know, I can't even focus during drop off and pick up wiht all the babies crying and such!  Plus, I am usually not able to do pickup and that is when his teachers are there, so perhaps I will call and try to schedule a time to talk about his issues.  Great idea!

And yes, I brought that up to my husband about the exersaucer, I didn't just want him being tossed in that and ignored and besides that, it wasn't even the issue, he needs to work on his core muscles, those are the issue.  So I will be addressing that as well.

As far as the younger infants and tummy time, they are all in a seperate room, that is why I am thinking if we can't come to an agreement or find time for them to work with my son, then perhaps he needs to move back down a room with the younger infants until he can crawl and walk.  He is jsut not up to speed with the infants his age yet and I am guessing he was moved up a bit too soon in hopes he would see the others moving about and get motivated, but I don't think motivation is his issue. 

Thanks for your input!

I missed when I read your post the first time that your son has already graduated rooms.  If he can be moved him back to the other room where they are still focusing on tummy time and those types of developmental skills, I would probably opt for that.  I'm sure with more attention to tummy time on a regular basis, your son will make progress very quickly, and will be able to move back to the older infants room before you know it.

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01-23-2013 at 9:41 AM
Sparks in ...
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I would try to not stress so much on some of these milestones. My DS JUST RECENTLY (LIKE SUNDAY) finally started to try to army crawl.  He is very lazy with rolling over and cannot pull himself up into a sitting postition. My dd was totally different. She was sitting up crawling and trying to walk by 10 months.

You can and should stress your concerns to the director at the daycare. You want and should have a solid relationship with his teachers! They will know your child almost as good as you! Remember that these ladies do really care about our lo's, they play kiss and hug on them all day for us. I hope your issues is just LO is a typical boy and is just comfortable being carried everywhere like mine. sending you huge
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01-23-2013 at 10:36 AM
acaudill75
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DD1 had torticollis, and we were in PT until she was about 16-17 months old. She was slow to hold her head up, roll over, etc., but by about 6 months, she was doing that. I know you said you were released from PT, and without knowing how the tort. affected your LO, I would assume that the problem was taken care of. However, with DD1, she had weakness and tightness in her left arm/shoulder/neck area, and it actually hurt her to use that side. PT was a pain in the rear, especially once I became pregnant again and was sick during her sessions. Having said that, the continued PT really helped her, and as big as she was (she was super chubby), and in spite of her weak side, she was walking before her first birthday. I credit her PT with that, because DD2 was holding herself up at 5 weeks, and DD1 couldn't do that at 5 months. Perhaps your LO should move back down to the younger group so that the DCWs can focus more on his tummy time, and you could see if your Pedi. can refer you back to PT to help LO with at least the rolling over. I don't know averages for milestones, but I would think rolling over, even with boys, would have happened by now. Again, I don't know how the torticollis affected your LO, but if he is anything like DD1, muscle weakness and tightness can make them to avoid movement that would trigger any discomfort, i.e., rolling over. GL.
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01-23-2013 at 10:38 AM
EMO-mamma
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Before you talk to them figure out what kind of "work" you expect them to do.  Other than sitting in front of a baby on their tummy I can't think of what work or help they could do for him.  

Maybe just ask that when they set him down on the floor they don't put him on his butt, lay him down on his belly with a toy in front of him.  That shouldn't be too much to ask.  Even if he cries, just try the belly first every time and if he's too upset obviously roll him over or sit him up, but just keep trying.  

I know for us tummy time was no fun until one day, out of the blue, she just liked it. 
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01-23-2013 at 10:57 AM
kbruington
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eyenigh:

I would never trust my husband to take care of something like this. Not because he doesn't care, but he just isn't good at getting the point across of how important something is and why. I would definitely speak to them myself if it's something that you want them to do.

I couldn't agree more with this paragraph! You know what your child needs so I'd take care of it yourself.
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01-23-2013 at 11:07 AM
mabenner1
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EMO-mamma:

Before you talk to them figure out what kind of "work" you expect them to do.  Other than sitting in front of a baby on their tummy I can't think of what work or help they could do for him.  

Maybe just ask that when they set him down on the floor they don't put him on his butt, lay him down on his belly with a toy in front of him.  That shouldn't be too much to ask.  Even if he cries, just try the belly first every time and if he's too upset obviously roll him over or sit him up, but just keep trying.  

I know for us tummy time was no fun until one day, out of the blue, she just liked it. 

This. You can't just go in and say "Do more tummy time." Have a plan, even if it is 5 minutes before morning nap, 5 minutes after 1 pm, whatever. Also, I don't understand why your husband isn't capable of having that conversation. DH does all of DS's pickups, and anytime I have an issue that I need him to address, he does it without fail. He is just as much of an active parent as I am, because that is what is required of him. Just doing it for your DH only perpetuates the stereotype that men can't handle these kinds of things for their children.
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01-23-2013 at 11:36 AM
acaudill75
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mabenner1:

This. You can't just go in and say "Do more tummy time." Have a plan, even if it is 5 minutes before morning nap, 5 minutes after 1 pm, whatever. Also, I don't understand why your husband isn't capable of having that conversation. DH does all of DS's pickups, and anytime I have an issue that I need him to address, he does it without fail. He is just as much of an active parent as I am, because that is what is required of him. Just doing it for your DH only perpetuates the stereotype that men can't handle these kinds of things for their children.

Some men can't :( Just like they can't seem to pick their socks up off the floor. DH can, but I hear that a lot of men are useless when it comes to talking to a bunch of women about babies, or periods.
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01-23-2013 at 12:07 PM
Aprilmomx2
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Aprilmomx2 is not online. Last active: 04-30-2013, 1:38 PMBronze

Thank you everyone for your ideas and thoughts!  I def. think I will try to line up a time to talk more with the teachers and / or the director.  The more I think about it, I am guessing the best solution (if there is room) is to move DS back into the younger infant room where they focus more on the skills he needs right now.  I think they jumped the gun moving him.  And perhaps it's not a possibility to move him back now, so I will go with a plan in mind (such as them putting him on his belly for x amount of time before nap, before this and that, etc) 

Thanks for the ideas!  As for me going, I do trust my husband to mention things, but let's say he simply isn't as detailed as I might be and I would def. like to be there to voice my opinions about something this important. 

Thanks!
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01-23-2013 at 10:16 PM
JWSchwarz
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I think you should just go in and talk to them yourself - it all sounds thirdhand through your husband and maybe you aren't relaying the message right. They should do whatever you want within reason. 
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