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01-23-2013 at 10:21 AM
MrsNortz
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When you get your BFP...

What is the order of people you will tell and at how many weeks?

I am horrible at keeping secrets so this will be tough but I will swear DH to secrecy until at LEAST 12 weeks! After that my parents and family abroad, then his parents and then the rest of his ginormous family!

Confession: DH is a huge Miami Dolphins fan so I ordered an infant size Dolphins bodysuit to keep on standby for when the day comes to suprise DH with the news!
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01-23-2013 at 10:26 AM
HatchetFac...
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I'm kind of torn about this. Part of me wants to tell immediate family right away, then tell friends and not so immediate family around 12 weeks. The other part of me wants to not tell anyone until 12 weeks. We'll see though. I'll probably end up telling my mom and sisters right away lol.

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01-23-2013 at 10:27 AM
Stephanie2...
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I'll tell family probably around 7 weeks. Close friends I'll tell a little after that. I'll tell others after 12 weeks.
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01-23-2013 at 10:27 AM
krdesi
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It is going to be seriously hard to keep a secret for that long! I think I will tell my sister when I find out (and swear her to secrecy), just so I have told SOMEONE. Everyone else will probably be told after the 12 week mark, though I am sure I will potentially slip!

I refused to buy anything for a baby until there is one though...makes me nervous to think of a baby item staring at me when I have no baby!
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01-23-2013 at 10:28 AM
CrayChrist...
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DH of course then my parents and in laws.
 
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01-23-2013 at 10:28 AM
gamergirl5...
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We'll tell my parents and inlaws right away.  They are people I am ok with knowing and will want the support from if I miscarry.  Extended family after the first U/S and the Facebook world after 1st Tri ends.
 
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01-23-2013 at 10:29 AM
rmcgibbon
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Telling DH right away obviously. Then as soon as he knows, I'm going to tell my best friend who has been waiting for 6 years for me to have a baby haha. We will probably tell our parents after the first appointment (8 weeks?) and then wait until 12 weeks for everyone else.
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01-23-2013 at 10:30 AM
atcwag
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I just got my BFP this AM, will double-check with a digi this evening.

I think "when to tell" is a personal decision.  The rate of MC goes way down after 1st tri, so a lot of people wait until then.  I believe the rate is also lowered after you hear the HB.  However, anything can happen, so I'm not sure that any time is "safe".

The biggest thing for me is waiting until after 1st tri to tell "the world" and to also wait until after that time to tell anyone who may "spill the beans", i.e. my MIL!  My plan is to call (probably tomorrow) the OB/GYN that I want to be my Dr. and see when they would want to see me.  If it's soon, then I may wait to tell anyone but DH.  If it's not until 8-10 weeks (normal), I may not be able to hold out telling my mom and possibly my BF.  Also, my BF is on "baby watch" with me and makes me drink some sort of alcohol when she comes home (she lives about 3 hours away).  So, if she comes home anytime soon, I'll probably have to spill the beans.

With the timing, April Fool's Day is exactly 14 weeks for me.  I may tell anyone that we want to tell in person/via phone the weekend before that and then do a facebook announcement on April Fool's Day - keep everyone guessing!
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01-23-2013 at 10:30 AM
deelopi9
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MrsNortz:

What is the order of people you will tell and at how many weeks?

I am horrible at keeping secrets so this will be tough but I will swear DH to secrecy until at LEAST 12 weeks! After that my parents and family abroad, then his parents and then the rest of his ginormous family!

Confession: DH is a huge Miami Dolphins fan so I ordered an infant size Dolphins bodysuit to keep on standby for when the day comes to suprise DH with the news!

I'm a fan too! DH isn't really into football but it will be so cute to get a onesie once I get that BFP.

I'll tell immediate family at 8 weeks and friends at 12weeks.
*** TTC since 10/2010 (no planned bc since 2007) Me (31) Sept 2012 - DX Luteal Phase Defect. HSG 8/2012: both tubes are open, cervix and lining look good; hypothyroidism; DH (35) SA Normal Clomid 50mg, trigger
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01-23-2013 at 10:31 AM
MrsNortz
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krdesi:

It is going to be seriously hard to keep a secret for that long! I think I will tell my sister when I find out (and swear her to secrecy), just so I have told SOMEONE. Everyone else will probably be told after the 12 week mark, though I am sure I will potentially slip!

I refused to buy anything for a baby until there is one though...makes me nervous to think of a baby item staring at me when I have no baby!

I know what you mean, this crossed my mind too but I gave in since I know this is how I want to tell him and I don't want to wait 5 days for shipping lol.
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01-23-2013 at 10:31 AM
ColeRose
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It used to be 8 weeks for parents and 14 weeks for family/friends. After our early loss this has changed slightly. I will likely tell my parents pretty early (within a week of a BFP) because I don't think I will be able to keep it from them. Everyone else is still 14 weeks - zero facebook announcements until baby is in my hands.
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01-23-2013 at 10:32 AM
MsCrispy
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I will tell my DH right away. He will be forced to look at the pee stick.

Last time we told parents, siblings, and a good friend around 6 weeks. This was earlier than I wanted, but I was going to be in the friends wedding and I wanted to let her know asap since she was picking dresses. I figured I needed to tell our parents first, so we did.

We told grandparents at 12 weeks after the NT scan results came out. And we let our parents tell everyone else.

I told work around 13 weeks.

I'll probably follow a similar schedule. My parents are out of state and visiting around Easter. I'd love to tell them in person, so if I get pregnant that will play a part.

I'm switching jobs at the end of May (same company) and would prefer not to tell work before I move. If I get pregnant this month, then that would make me around 16 weeks.
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01-23-2013 at 10:33 AM
HatchetFac...
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krdesi:

It is going to be seriously hard to keep a secret for that long! I think I will tell my sister when I find out (and swear her to secrecy), just so I have told SOMEONE. Everyone else will probably be told after the 12 week mark, though I am sure I will potentially slip!

I refused to buy anything for a baby until there is one though...makes me nervous to think of a baby item staring at me when I have no baby!

This. I want to order a onsie that says "My Daddy plays a Gibson" since he's a musician, but the superstitious side of me says not to. My oldest sister is giving me all her maternity clothes and I don't even want them in the house.  

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01-23-2013 at 10:36 AM
HatchetFac...
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atcwag:

I just got my BFP this AM, will double-check with a digi this evening.

I think "when to tell" is a personal decision.  The rate of MC goes way down after 1st tri, so a lot of people wait until then.  I believe the rate is also lowered after you hear the HB.  However, anything can happen, so I'm not sure that any time is "safe".

The biggest thing for me is waiting until after 1st tri to tell "the world" and to also wait until after that time to tell anyone who may "spill the beans", i.e. my MIL!  My plan is to call (probably tomorrow) the OB/GYN that I want to be my Dr. and see when they would want to see me.  If it's soon, then I may wait to tell anyone but DH.  If it's not until 8-10 weeks (normal), I may not be able to hold out telling my mom and possibly my BF.  Also, my BF is on "baby watch" with me and makes me drink some sort of alcohol when she comes home (she lives about 3 hours away).  So, if she comes home anytime soon, I'll probably have to spill the beans.

With the timing, April Fool's Day is exactly 14 weeks for me.  I may tell anyone that we want to tell in person/via phone the weekend before that and then do a facebook announcement on April Fool's Day - keep everyone guessing!

I was lurking on 1st-Tri and saw your BFP post. Congrats!! 

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01-23-2013 at 10:37 AM
YellowBag
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atcwag:

I just got my BFP this AM, will double-check with a digi this evening.

Congratulations!
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01-23-2013 at 10:38 AM
Miss_2010
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Will probably tell parents around 8 weeks.  Which inevitably means gossip and all the families finding out (especially DH's family) which inevitably means the whole world finds out.  That's the worst part and my only hesitation with telling families at 8 weeks.  But I know my parents would be ticked off if I didn't tell them.  Fine balance.  Although when I was pregnant in 2012 I didn't feel the need to tell anybody at all except DH, our families still don't know about our loss. 

With regards to friends, sometime after that unless they highly suspect it from my actions. 

Anybody at work, they can play a guessing game with me, I don't feel the need to make that kind of announcement. 

Facebook - wall is already private so no worries there.

 

We are pretty private. 

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01-23-2013 at 10:39 AM
heightdepr...
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I'm not 100% sure what i'll do. It's going to be hard to keep a secret. Obviously hubby will know right away. And then i'm going to TRY to keep it a secret until probably 10-12 weeks. Then i'll tell everyone starting with parents/siblings/bestfriends. Everyone else will follow from there. Hubby has a HUGE family so i'll just let the word spread from his parents, to his grandma to EVERYONE else becuase grandma talks to everyone haha.

 I know a few people that have had miscarriages, so if we end up going through that, i'll probably confide in them.

The only thing i'll really have to consider is, my sister in law is also my chiropractor. So if I have to go see her, i'll need to tell her, but then attempt to swear her to secrecy.

I've already planned on how i'm going to start the conversation "I need to tell you something as my doctor, not my sister in law...." I'll put off going as long as I can, but I tend to go once a month to see her, so if I find out early i may have no choice.

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01-23-2013 at 10:41 AM
reenielynn
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DH will look at pee stick with me, then we will call Dr. make sure insurance is all in order. Then we will tell both our parents (hopefully in person). Then all of our sisters (lots of phone calls, I have four sisters).
I've told him over and over he will have to keep his mouth shut until 12weeks, but it will be hard for him. Besties will know before 12 wks, but coworkers, tertiary friends can wait it out.
No facebook announcement ever. People who know will be told to hold off posting anything before 20ish weeks
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01-23-2013 at 10:47 AM
pantherRN
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Obviously, H right away. We might tell his parents and my dad when we hear a HB. We will tell everyone else, including my mom sometime after 1st Tri.

I just want to put this out there: having to untell people is the worst experience in the world. I always used to say that I wanted to tell people early in case we had a loss and I wanted/needed support. Well, I've gotten the most support from people I had to tell or found out by accident. My boss, my friends from work, and a few IRL friends who knew about our first pregnancy have been the most amazing support to me. My mother, on the other hand, has a been a burden and is the least supportive of anyone. I thought she would be amazing and she has been the furthest from that. Hence the reason she'll know with everyone else next time.  

If we even put it on FB, it'll be 20 weeks+. 

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01-23-2013 at 10:48 AM
MrsNortz
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atcwag:

I just got my BFP this AM, will double-check with a digi this evening.

I think "when to tell" is a personal decision.  The rate of MC goes way down after 1st tri, so a lot of people wait until then.  I believe the rate is also lowered after you hear the HB.  However, anything can happen, so I'm not sure that any time is "safe".

The biggest thing for me is waiting until after 1st tri to tell "the world" and to also wait until after that time to tell anyone who may "spill the beans", i.e. my MIL!  My plan is to call (probably tomorrow) the OB/GYN that I want to be my Dr. and see when they would want to see me.  If it's soon, then I may wait to tell anyone but DH.  If it's not until 8-10 weeks (normal), I may not be able to hold out telling my mom and possibly my BF.  Also, my BF is on "baby watch" with me and makes me drink some sort of alcohol when she comes home (she lives about 3 hours away).  So, if she comes home anytime soon, I'll probably have to spill the beans.

With the timing, April Fool's Day is exactly 14 weeks for me.  I may tell anyone that we want to tell in person/via phone the weekend before that and then do a facebook announcement on April Fool's Day - keep everyone guessing!

OMG Congrats!!! Fx for a positive digi!
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01-23-2013 at 10:52 AM
modernfair...
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Well, definitely DH right away. Don't think I'll even be able to hold out long enough to do something cute. Probably the best friend right away as well. No one else until after the first u/s. I'm a private person. Almost no one knows that we are TTC.
 
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01-23-2013 at 10:53 AM
CMSullivan...
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Right Away: DH, My Mom, My Grandpa and 2 Best Friends...These are the people I'm closest to and I'm around a LOT. I get HORRIBLE all day sickness pretty early in my pregnancies so it'd be super hard to keep it from them...

13 weeks of after: Everyone else.
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01-23-2013 at 10:53 AM
mabjcb19
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I'm probably going to have issues when it comes because I'll want to do cartwheels down the middle of the road.  I'll tell my sister right away-she's away at college so I don't have to worry about it slipping-and she's my bestie.  I'm mostly worried about telling my mom before 12 weeks because she CAN NOT keep her mouth shut about ANYTHING.  And I don't want anything shared with anyone until 12 weeks, I think.  I agree about FB-that announcement will never be made, but I'm sure someone will wind up spilling the beans for me.
 
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01-23-2013 at 10:59 AM
fentonpete...
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DH will know immediately.   My mother gave birth to 5 kids  and can smell a new pregnancy a mile away, so no hiding from her.  So I guess I'll tell mom and my two sisters immediately.... they will be a tremendous support if it's not sticky.

Everybody else waits until after 1st tri.  No facebook ever.  I'm going to try to give my future children as much technological privacy as possible.

 
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01-23-2013 at 10:59 AM
Makeminead...
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I think dh and I will find out together.  I imagine we would tell our parents and siblings around 8 weeks, grandparents and close friends around 12, and then facebook people closer to when we find out the gender. 

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01-23-2013 at 11:01 AM
AlphaSierr...
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When we had our CP, we told our 2 closest friends (the only ones who know we are TTC) right away. They'd see right through us if we tried to hide it. As for our parents, not until after 1st u/s because I want to have the picture to give them. Everyone else will find out after 1st tri.
 
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01-23-2013 at 11:02 AM
LadyA0930
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DH will find out when I do and then we plan on keeping it quiet until at least 12 weeks.  I may tell my best friend, she's a doula and I plan on utilizing her throughout my whole pregnancy, and she's the only person that knows we're trying. 
 
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01-23-2013 at 11:05 AM
ant331
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HatchetFace:
atcwag:

I just got my BFP this AM, will double-check with a digi this evening.

I think "when to tell" is a personal decision.  The rate of MC goes way down after 1st tri, so a lot of people wait until then.  I believe the rate is also lowered after you hear the HB.  However, anything can happen, so I'm not sure that any time is "safe".

The biggest thing for me is waiting until after 1st tri to tell "the world" and to also wait until after that time to tell anyone who may "spill the beans", i.e. my MIL!  My plan is to call (probably tomorrow) the OB/GYN that I want to be my Dr. and see when they would want to see me.  If it's soon, then I may wait to tell anyone but DH.  If it's not until 8-10 weeks (normal), I may not be able to hold out telling my mom and possibly my BF.  Also, my BF is on "baby watch" with me and makes me drink some sort of alcohol when she comes home (she lives about 3 hours away).  So, if she comes home anytime soon, I'll probably have to spill the beans.

With the timing, April Fool's Day is exactly 14 weeks for me.  I may tell anyone that we want to tell in person/via phone the weekend before that and then do a facebook announcement on April Fool's Day - keep everyone guessing!

I was lurking on 1st-Tri and saw your BFP post. Congrats!! 

Same here! Congrats atc! FX for a happy and healthy 9 mos.!!

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01-23-2013 at 11:08 AM
katehutsen
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I will tell DH right away obviously. Then it depends on when we get pregnant when we tell our parents but they will be next. I would like to tell them in person in a cute way so if it is around a holiday or occasion that will be easiest.

At around 8 weeks I will tell my best and closest friends and the rest of the world after 12 weeks.

I have to tell this annoying story about my cousin and how they told about their second. They told us they were going to start trying for another one starting last March. On March 25th I saw a Facebook post of her pee stick. Not only is this their second child that they conceived on the first try but their immediate family had to hear it ON FACEBOOK, BEFORE confirmed by a blood test at the doctor, and they didn't even call the family members who don't have Facebook...

Sorry just had to vent about that.
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01-23-2013 at 11:08 AM
cruelsound
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With my first I had no idea about anything ever, so I pretty much leaked it right away. My internet friends found out around 10 weeks, maybe? I don't remember.

With my second we told family right away, I put a ticker up on TB first thing so my friends here knew. I can't remember when FB and everyone else did. I was pretty sick right away so work figured it out.

This time? I want to not tell anyone, besides a few people, for as long as possible just to see if I can keep a secret.

DS1 12/2010 DS2 4/2012

 
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