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01-23-2013 at 10:38 PM
Jellyfish4...
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Jellyfish42 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 10:59 PMBronze

Multiple shower issue.

I have two very good friends (who are actually SILs) having babies in June. I know I have never posted here before. I have lurked a tiny bit, and you ladies seem very very good with your etiquette. Here is the scenario that I am having issues with.

I have never gotten to officially host a baby shower for anyone before, and having never been pregnant I know very little of the proper way. These two ladies are already having multiple baby showers for family/friends/work. I suggested (before becoming aware of the multiple showers) that I could host a combined shower for the family and friends that they share. I have since come to the logical conclusion that all the invitees will already be attending showers already being thrown. My question is, I have told those throwing the other showers that I will help in any way needed, should I go ahead with mine? I don't really want to, as they are already getting a lot, and I got a few side-eyes from some of the other people that were throwing/attending other showers. Advice, please, any would be helpful? Thanks!



My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Calendar
DH:30 Me:23
TTC since: AUG 2011
DX:??? HSG:[Scheduled]
Total Thyroidectomy OCT 2012

--"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it." - h2g2; Douglas Adams-- 
01-23-2013 at 10:59 PM
1026pumpki...
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1026pumpkin is not online. Last active: 05-15-2013, 11:55 PMSilver

Did the moms already accept your offer for the shower?  Maybe take them out to lunch and see if they agree that another shower would be redundant....hopefully they will and you can let the other hostesses know and volunteer to help with their showers.

If they have already accepted and want to proceed, maybe you could make it a small event for just close, mutual friends or host a little spa day (mani, pedi, lunch) instead of a shower.  I think many guests would feel put out to be invited to multiple showers unless they were immediate family. 

If they haven't given you an answer, maybe just drop it and volunteer to help the other hosts. 


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01-24-2013 at 1:30 AM
Jellyfish4...
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Jellyfish42 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 10:59 PMBronze

This is brilliant. Thank you. I had mentioned when they found out that I wanted to atleast help throw one for both. I mentioned at one of the women's sex-announce parties that I had expressed interest in throwing one. That is when I was told that there would be several more thrown. I told them maybe I could throw a little celebration that was completely gifts-optional (as I feel people would feel more put out by that than anything.)

I am definitely going to throw maybe a mini spa or another themed party that celebrates the women and not just the babies and the gifts for them. Thanks!



My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Calendar
DH:30 Me:23
TTC since: AUG 2011
DX:??? HSG:[Scheduled]
Total Thyroidectomy OCT 2012

--"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it." - h2g2; Douglas Adams-- 
01-24-2013 at 1:55 AM
EastCoastB...
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EastCoastBride is online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 3:09 PMPlatinum
You offered, they told you several were bring thrown. I think that's your clue to back off. They dont need another event. Even a spa day its asking people to come and spend more money. Not "on" them, but "for" them.

Your heart is in the right place, but these women already have a lot going on. Suggesting yet another event is only gojmg to pressure them to have to say yes.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

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DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10 

01-24-2013 at 6:49 AM
rhubarb123
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I agree with EastCoastBride.
 
01-24-2013 at 6:51 AM
Stina2012
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I would not attend a shower and then a mini spa day for the same mom. Sorry, the shower would be the event I would choose to attend. I'd let it go unless a shower host asks for help. Then just enjoy attending and get them a fun gift!

 Pregnancy Ticker 
01-24-2013 at 8:22 AM
Estwd2
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Estwd2 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 1:49 PMSilver

Stina2012:
I would not attend a shower and then a mini spa day for the same mom. Sorry, the shower would be the event I would choose to attend. I'd let it go unless a shower host asks for help. Then just enjoy attending and get them a fun gift!

Agreed. 


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01-24-2013 at 10:52 AM
526SadieSa...
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526SadieSadie is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 2:02 PMGold

Your gift to them doesn't have to include other people.  Get them gift certificates for prenatal massages - it's the best thing I did when my entire body hurt. 


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01-24-2013 at 11:09 AM
pnutg
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pnutg is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 8:23 AMSilver
526SadieSadie:
Your gift to them doesn't have to include other people.nbsp; Get them gift certificates for prenatal massages it's the best thing I did when my entire body hurt.nbsp;


Yes! I would love a gift like this instead of a 3rd or 4th shower. As a matter of fact, I could use one right now!

-1st BFP 5/24/12, EDD 1/25/13, MMC 6/19/12 at 8 weeks, D&C 6/29/12 -2nd BFP 9/15/12, EDD 5/20/13, Praying for a healthy baby! It's a boy! www.peanut-gallerie.blogspot.com 
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