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01-24-2013 at 10:23 AM
PrimRoseMa...
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Looks like I have another one for you...

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/71500852.aspx
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01-24-2013 at 10:30 AM
MandJS
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Boohoo!! Waaaaaaah. I didn't get EVERYTHING I WANTED. I got ... everything I needed instead. HOW RUDE, MIL! And you bought it all yourself! What is everyone else going to buy for me NOW?!?!!

 

FFS.  

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."
 
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01-24-2013 at 10:34 AM
MelRC117
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In the UO someone says she is going to throw her own shower and her excuse is most of her friends are guys.  It will probably be a potluck I bet.  I probably sound like a huge bi!ch but it seems on so many threads on so many boards there are so many entitled people its ridiculous.
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01-24-2013 at 10:47 AM
PrimRoseMa...
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MelRC117:

In the UO someone says she is going to throw her own shower and her excuse is most of her friends are guys.  It will probably be a potluck I bet.  I probably sound like a huge bi!ch but it seems on so many threads on so many boards there are so many entitled people its ridiculous.

I totally agreed with you in that post.

Looks like July 13 has some speshuls. :P
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01-24-2013 at 10:48 AM
Stina2012
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I find it funny that Prim tattles on our J13 board here....

For this one in particular I think the poster is trying to complain about a lack of boundaries and just gives a really bad example. But, I think some people point out the "woe is me someone bought everything". I think you either accept what people give you OR if you are going to be picky then don't expect anything from anyone.

ETA: "funny" is not in scarcasm font. I mean it's funny, like actually funny to see the difference between J13 and BS boards.
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01-24-2013 at 10:50 AM
MelRC117
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If I have to hear one more time someone say how much time and research they put into a registry and God forbid people don't use it or buy the wrong thing I will scream.  A registry isn't the end all be all.  And quit blaming the hormones, its called return/exchange FFS.
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01-24-2013 at 10:54 AM
MandJS
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Stina2012:

I find it funny that Prim tattles on our J13 board here....

For this one in particular I think the poster is trying to complain about a lack of boundaries and just gives a really bad example. But, I think some people point out the "woe is me someone bought everything". I think you either accept what people give you OR if you are going to be picky then don't expect anything from anyone.

That's exactly the point though. You should NEVER expect anything from anyone. If someone DOES buy you something, be gracious. They are not required to do so and spent their hard earned money on you. If you don't have use for it, then donate it. There are plenty of charities out there. But seriously. Even if you DON'T want it. Be gracious and say thank you.  Honestly, the registering and buying of baby things? NOT the most important part of the pregnancy. The part where you get a healthy baby to take home, and you are still healthy yourself? THAT is the part to focus on. Not everyone gets that scenario. And you want to b!tch about furniture choices? Seriously?

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."
 
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01-24-2013 at 10:59 AM
Stina2012
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MandJS:
That's exactly the point though. You should NEVER expect anything from anyone. If someone DOES buy you something, be gracious. They are not required to do so and spent their hard earned money on you. If you don't have use for it, then donate it. There are plenty of charities out there. But seriously. Even if you DON'T want it. Be gracious and say thank you.  Honestly, the registering and buying of baby things? NOT the most important part of the pregnancy. The part where you get a healthy baby to take home, and you are still healthy yourself? THAT is the part to focus on. Not everyone gets that scenario. And you want to b!tch about furniture choices? Seriously?

I agree with you. In that particular post there's some subtext that the MIL thinks this is "her baby". Like she's not giving them these gifts until the shower that this MIL has deemed she will throw for them (because the shower her sister was throwing wouldn't be good enough) and then MIL has vacation plans with the new baby. Maybe I'm reading more into the post than I should, but I don't think the entire thing is about the stuff. Her first post? Yeah, absolutely.

Anyway, I agree the most important part is never the stuff or the shopping for the stuff. And don't tell people how or what they can give you.
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01-24-2013 at 11:00 AM
PrimRoseMa...
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Stina2012:

I find it funny that Prim tattles on our J13 board here....

For this one in particular I think the poster is trying to complain about a lack of boundaries and just gives a really bad example. But, I think some people point out the "woe is me someone bought everything". I think you either accept what people give you OR if you are going to be picky then don't expect anything from anyone.

ETA: "funny" is not in scarcasm font. I mean it's funny, like actually funny to see the difference between J13 and BS boards.

oh calm your tits. I'm not tattling on anyone. I'm sharing threads. It happens on the bump. Nothing to get your panties in a twist over.

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01-24-2013 at 11:06 AM
MelRC117
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Yeah I stalk different boards all the time and since Im a J12 I stalk J13 so I would have found it eventually lol

I love the gender reveal post and her dictating what kind of responses she wants.  Puppies and Rainbows ONLY for J13 apparently.  Funny thing is it wasn't even THAT flammable of a post.
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01-24-2013 at 11:08 AM
Stina2012
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PrimRoseMama:
oh calm your tits. I'm not tattling on anyone. I'm sharing threads. It happens on the bump. Nothing to get your panties in a twist over.

Tits calmed. I meant funny...like funny how different these responses are. Anyway, sorry I'm being such a defend the poor-tasted today. I just feel for her because my own mom can be really controlling. Meh.
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01-24-2013 at 11:13 AM
MandJS
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Stina2012:

PrimRoseMama:
oh calm your tits. I'm not tattling on anyone. I'm sharing threads. It happens on the bump. Nothing to get your panties in a twist over.

Tits calmed. I meant funny...like funny how different these responses are. Anyway, sorry I'm being such a defend the poor-tasted today. I just feel for her because my own mom can be really controlling. Meh.

So is my mom. So what? It's still your kid. Do what you want. If you don't want what your mom/mil buys for you, GIVE IT AWAY. If you don't want your kid going on vacation with mom/mil, then say no. It's really that simple.  

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."
 
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01-24-2013 at 11:28 AM
Estwd2
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MandJS:
 

So is my mom. So what? It's still your kid. Do what you want. If you don't want what your mom/mil buys for you, GIVE IT AWAY. 

I hear you. I do. BUT it creates a super awkward situation if you give away or exchange everything your mother bought. That's going to result in hurt feelings and a fight that all could have been avoided if the mother hadn't done all that. It's nice and she's excited. I get that. But I prefer to take reviews into account as well and enjoy picking the items I think will suit me best. I'm kind of a gear nerd in that way and I do that for almost everything I purchase - clothes, shoes, phones, kitchen gadgets, etc. Some people just enjoy it. So I get where that OP is coming from and I would be annoyed, too.
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01-24-2013 at 11:35 AM
MandJS
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Estwd2:
MandJS:
 

So is my mom. So what? It's still your kid. Do what you want. If you don't want what your mom/mil buys for you, GIVE IT AWAY. 

I hear you. I do. BUT it creates a super awkward situation if you give away or exchange everything your mother bought. That's going to result in hurt feelings and a fight that all could have been avoided if the mother hadn't done all that. It's nice and she's excited. I get that. But I prefer to take reviews into account as well and enjoy picking the items I think will suit me best. I'm kind of a gear nerd in that way and I do that for almost everything I purchase - clothes, shoes, phones, kitchen gadgets, etc. Some people just enjoy it. So I get where that OP is coming from and I would be annoyed, too.

I've had that conversation with my mom. Yes, it's awkward. But isn't it just as awkward to NOT be upfront with your mom? Some moms are super into that sort of thing, and some people don't care. I have a friend whose MIL buys everything. My friend admits it's not her style, but she goes with it and honestly doesn't care. If the OP is annoyed, she has a few choices: confront her MIL and squash this behavior, give it away, or suck it up. However, bitching about it on a public message board? Really doesn't help her situation and just makes her look like an ungrateful brat. 

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."
 
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01-24-2013 at 11:42 AM
Estwd2
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MandJS:
Estwd2:
MandJS:
 

So is my mom. So what? It's still your kid. Do what you want. If you don't want what your mom/mil buys for you, GIVE IT AWAY. 

I hear you. I do. BUT it creates a super awkward situation if you give away or exchange everything your mother bought. That's going to result in hurt feelings and a fight that all could have been avoided if the mother hadn't done all that. It's nice and she's excited. I get that. But I prefer to take reviews into account as well and enjoy picking the items I think will suit me best. I'm kind of a gear nerd in that way and I do that for almost everything I purchase - clothes, shoes, phones, kitchen gadgets, etc. Some people just enjoy it. So I get where that OP is coming from and I would be annoyed, too.

I've had that conversation with my mom. Yes, it's awkward. But isn't it just as awkward to NOT be upfront with your mom? Some moms are super into that sort of thing, and some people don't care. I have a friend whose MIL buys everything. My friend admits it's not her style, but she goes with it and honestly doesn't care. If the OP is annoyed, she has a few choices: confront her MIL and squash this behavior, give it away, or suck it up. However, bitching about it on a public message board? Really doesn't help her situation and just makes her look like an ungrateful brat. 

I'm not saying she shouldn't say anything because it's awkward. Just that her mother is the one who created the awkward situation and shouldn't have put her in that position to begin with. I'd confront her about it, awkward or not, but I'd also probably *** about it here. What else is a public message board for? I do some of my best bitching online.
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01-24-2013 at 11:44 AM
Stina2012
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MandJS:
.

I've had that conversation with my mom. Yes, it's awkward. But isn't it just as awkward to NOT be upfront with your mom? Some moms are super into that sort of thing, and some people don't care. I have a friend whose MIL buys everything. My friend admits it's not her style, but she goes with it and honestly doesn't care. If the OP is annoyed, she has a few choices: confront her MIL and squash this behavior, give it away, or suck it up. However, bitching about it on a public message board? Really doesn't help her situation and just makes her look like an ungrateful brat. 

Which was more my advice: Set boundaries now. And the MIL may say "screw you" and MIL has every right to. I think it's hard when your Mom isn't ready to hear what you have to say. And in her's case it's a SO's Mom so even harder. But overall, yeah be grateful for what people do for you. But also you're going to be a Mom, time to defend your rights/choices as a Mom now.
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01-24-2013 at 12:38 PM
caladpi02
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Estwd2:
MandJS:
Estwd2:
MandJS:
 

So is my mom. So what? It's still your kid. Do what you want. If you don't want what your mom/mil buys for you, GIVE IT AWAY. 

I hear you. I do. BUT it creates a super awkward situation if you give away or exchange everything your mother bought. That's going to result in hurt feelings and a fight that all could have been avoided if the mother hadn't done all that. It's nice and she's excited. I get that. But I prefer to take reviews into account as well and enjoy picking the items I think will suit me best. I'm kind of a gear nerd in that way and I do that for almost everything I purchase - clothes, shoes, phones, kitchen gadgets, etc. Some people just enjoy it. So I get where that OP is coming from and I would be annoyed, too.

I've had that conversation with my mom. Yes, it's awkward. But isn't it just as awkward to NOT be upfront with your mom? Some moms are super into that sort of thing, and some people don't care. I have a friend whose MIL buys everything. My friend admits it's not her style, but she goes with it and honestly doesn't care. If the OP is annoyed, she has a few choices: confront her MIL and squash this behavior, give it away, or suck it up. However, bitching about it on a public message board? Really doesn't help her situation and just makes her look like an ungrateful brat. 

I'm not saying she shouldn't say anything because it's awkward. Just that her mother is the one who created the awkward situation and shouldn't have put her in that position to begin with. I'd confront her about it, awkward or not, but I'd also probably *** about it here. What else is a public message board for? I do some of my best bitching online.

This. I can see it being awkward particularly since one grandparent bought all these items and the other grandparents are now feeling bad. My mom is insanely competitive with my stepmother and is CONVINCED the baby monitor was purchased by her, so now she is insisting she buy something equally expensive.

Yes, it is wonderful that someone got her all that stuff-but if it is not that great quality, low rated on safety, etc., and basically lets one grandparent say "I got your baby EVERYTHING because I am the best grandparent", I can see being annoyed.

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01-24-2013 at 1:11 PM
cinderin
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small confession - I am slightly worried my MIL has gone over the edge shopping.

FIL told DH last night that MIL had bought "tons of clothes". I am 12 weeks. We dont know the sex (not sure if we want to find out). How many clothes could she have bought?!

She is a bit of a shopper, so I am not surprised. It is the first grandbaby on both sides, so I expect some excitement. And dh and I have been married a while and are 31, so I know they have been waiting a while...

My mom offered to buy us a crib (once we pick one out) and is starting a quilt. Which I think is a bit better of an outlet.

Oh well. If the OP were a little older, married longer, she would be more calm. You can't control other people, just your reaction to them.

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01-24-2013 at 4:10 PM
ordinary1
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First of all DH is dear husband and MIL is mother in law.  OP isn't married. Second of all, poor her that someone bought her nice gifts. Oh boo hoo! Third of all, it sounds like the presents is the least of her problems.  Posting her registry is tacky.  Her SO's mom can't accept or decline a shower and that was extremely rude of her to do.  It sounds like SO's mom needs to learn boundaries but she won't learn them over night.  Someone has to talk to her about it.

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