community

all boards


birth clubs



my blog

Sort:
01-24-2013 at 11:53 AM
MBush4
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-19-2012
19,381 Points
MBush4 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 3:45 PMBronze

Boss wants invite, but...

I work for a jerk. To give you an idea of the type of guy he is, he's a retired Navy captain who has told me that women's equality has led to the downfall of American society. On multiple occassions. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. When I told him I was KU his first response was, "Was this planned?? This is really goin to ruin next semester" (we work at a university- he's a program director; I'm the program advisor).

About two months ago he asked, "Are you going to throw yourself one of those baby shower things?" I told him no, but that I think my aunt was going to throw one for me to which he said, "Well, whenever they send invitations, give me one. I don't want to go, but I should probably get you something." Well, invitations have been sent out but my aunt, SIL, and everyone else throwing the shower are trying to keep the theme a surprise. Should I just tell him where I'm registered and keep it at that? He's asked a few more times because he's heading out for surgery on the 4th, but I just feel REALLY uncomfortable sending him an email saying, "They sent out invitations but won't give me one. Here's where I'm registered."  What would you do?


Anniversary
 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-24-2013 at 11:55 AM
MandJS
Top 500 Contributor
Joined on 07-08-2009
Denver
85,332 Points
MandJS is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 5:54 PMGold
I'd just tell him where you're registered next time he asks. 


AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."
 
01-24-2013 at 11:59 AM
MelRC117
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-27-2012
73,397 Points
MelRC117 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:44 PMSilver

MandJS:
I'd just tell him where you're registered next time he asks. 

Yeah...he doesn't need an invite to buy you a gift so its weird that he asked to get an invite.


Image and video hosting by TinyPic  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-24-2013 at 12:01 PM
EastCoastB...
Top 25 Contributor
Joined on 08-12-2001
East Coast!
40,980 Points
EastCoastBride is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 6:30 PMPlatinum
MandJS:
I'd just tell him where you're registered next time he asks. 
This. You don't need to give him an actual invitation. D you REALLY want him to have that info anyhow and take ANY chance he might show up?

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10 

01-24-2013 at 12:05 PM
MBush4
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-19-2012
19,381 Points
MBush4 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 3:45 PMBronze
EastCoastBride:
MandJS:
I'd just tell him where you're registered next time he asks. 
This. You don't need to give him an actual invitation. D you REALLY want him to have that info anyhow and take ANY chance he might show up?


And can I just say, that's one of my fears since it's at my aunt's house and she literally lives next door to him thankfully he doesn't know that.

Anniversary
 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-24-2013 at 12:07 PM
EastCoastB...
Top 25 Contributor
Joined on 08-12-2001
East Coast!
40,980 Points
EastCoastBride is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 6:30 PMPlatinum
MBush4:
EastCoastBride:
MandJS:
I'd just tell him where you're registered next time he asks. 
This. You don't need to give him an actual invitation. D you REALLY want him to have that info anyhow and take ANY chance he might show up?
And can I just say, that's one of my fears since it's at my aunt's house and she literally lives next door to him thankfully he doesn't know that.
Oh good god!  Don't take that chance then!  I could see him "stopping by" to drop it off. 

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10 

01-24-2013 at 12:11 PM
Helenahhan...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-20-2012
60,187 Points
Helenahhandbasket is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 11:52 AMSilver

He sounds like a peach, BUT I will also add that it does sound that he likes/ respects/cares for you in his own demented way.

Next time he mentions it, I would say that the last time you spoke to your aunt, she mentioned that it was going to be a small, intimate all female event.  If he persists, tell him where you are registered.

 

Good luck!

Edited to fix wording


Married 11/23/07 BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12 Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
01-24-2013 at 12:16 PM
torimales
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-02-2009
3,734 Points
torimales is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 11:22 AMNewbie

Ok wierd... but if he wants to give you a gift, which is thoughtful, can't you give him a "shower invite" that is when he's gone for surgery, but contains your registry information?


Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
01-24-2013 at 12:19 PM
LeToyaR
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-18-2012
9,989 Points
LeToyaR is online. Last active: 05-26-2013, 4:26 AMBronze

OMG I'm sorry I had to LOL...I also work for a University (For profit) so I get exactly how he made you feel. I would invite him, it seems like he wants to get you a gift. I don't think he will stay long, he may drop off the gift and leave.

Fingers crossed...that they give you a shower at work then no more worries Smile


 photo a411521b-1d90-468f-88ed-40fa0054e5d2_zps369edf32.jpg 
01-24-2013 at 12:24 PM
1026pumpki...
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-21-2010
50,379 Points
1026pumpkin is not online. Last active: 05-15-2013, 11:55 PMSilver

I would just tell him that your Aunt said she's keeping everything a surprise, so you're in the dark.  If he brings up buying you something, maybe just brush it off and say oh that's so sweet, you don't need to do anything.  If there's a good way to work in where you're registered, you could drop that info, but it would seem kind of weird to say I don't have an invitation for you, but you can go buy us some stuff at BRU.

Hope he just drops it, though!  Doesn't sound like the kind of guy you want to spend an afternoon with! 


 BabyFetus Ticker;  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-24-2013 at 12:50 PM
PrimRoseMa...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-13-2012
181,119 Points
PrimRoseMama is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 9:42 PMGold
MandJS:
I'd just tell him where you're registered next time he asks.nbsp;


Yup. Let him bow out gracefully with not attending the shower. If he gets you something then make sure you thank him.

Lilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers
 
01-24-2013 at 7:26 PM
RibbitGrl9...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-10-2012
4,002 Points
RibbitGrl930 is not online. Last active: 05-26-2013, 2:02 AMNewbie
MelRC117:

MandJS:
I'd just tell him where you're registered next time he asks. 

Yeah...he doesn't need an invite to buy you a gift so its weird that he asked to get an invite.

Precisely, especially since he has expressed the lack of desire to even attend. It would be a waste of an invitation.


Anniversary

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 

01-24-2013 at 7:35 PM
aggiecyd
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-22-2008
9,806 Points
aggiecyd is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 3:03 PMBronze
Helenahhandbasket:

He sounds like a peach, BUT I will also add that it does sound that he likes/ respects/cares for you in his own demented way.

Next time he mentions it, I would say that the last time you spoke to your aunt, she mentioned that it was going to be a small, intimate all female event.  If he persists, tell him where you are registered.

Good luck!

Edited to fix wording

All of this.  But also be prepared for him to make some comment about the items on your registry.


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-26-2013 at 7:51 PM
markhamgur...
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-13-2007
Markham
11,792 Points
markhamgurl is not online. Last active: 05-26-2013, 12:36 AMBronze

Ditto, in that he obviously cares in his own weird and awkward way.

If I were you, I'd mention where I was registered and then follow that with "but..." and tell him you don't think he'd have a good time, being the only man there.  Laugh it off and keep it light.  If he cares enough to really want to get you a gift, he will.  But no way in heck would I extend an invite.  That would be too many shades of weird!


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board