Wait, *I'm* being rude? Semi OT

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01-24-2013 at 4:54 PM

MagickalNa...

Joined on 04-03-2012

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Wait, I'm being rude? Semi OT

Pretty sure I know the answer, but am I being rude here? Someone on another board posted about this great idea for our 1 yr old bday parties - make guests address envelopes for their own thank you cards. It's also a great idea for your shower!

I replied that I thought it was a bit rude/tacky, and that if someone took the time to buy my 1 year old a gift the least I could do was spare an extra 8 seconds to address their thank you card etc etc etc.

I was jumped on for being the rude and tacky one, and EVERYONE thinks it's the best idea ever. Then a few said it would be rude for a shower but fine for a bday party.

Just checking. Am I rude? Or no. LMK thanks!

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01-24-2013 at 4:59 PM

coraggiosa

Joined on 09-07-2012

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I agree with you that it is tacky. You are not being rude.

I would be a little bewildered if someone asked me to address a thank you card that was going to be sent to me. That's just weird.

12/19/2012 BFP! EDD 09/02/2013

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01-24-2013 at 4:59 PM

MandJS

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Most definitely not. It's insanely rude.

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."

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01-24-2013 at 4:59 PM

BallSox

Joined on 01-03-2008

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Most people would agree that it's rude, but if nothing else, it's really effing lazy.

Little Man (2 years old---holy cow)
Yes, he's mine. Yes, he's aware I'm a horrible mother. Yes, I plan on teaching him to act just like me.
No, CPS hasn't come to rescue him yet.
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01-24-2013 at 5:05 PM

1026pumpki...

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I don't think you're wrong at all. If guests go to the trouble to shop for a gift and spend part of their weekend celebrating with you, you can sit down for half an hour and knock out thank you cards.

This even bugs me at the eye doctor when they ask me to address my "reminder" cards...WTH, you obviously have my address, and why do I need to spend time filling out cards to make it easier for you to send me reminders to make sure I spend all my flexible spending dollars at your office....grrrr- this is a pet peeve of mine!

;

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01-24-2013 at 5:26 PM

MagickalNa...

Joined on 04-03-2012

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What blew my mind was that she was already planning to write out the thank you cards. And she said she had a HUGE family. So I timed it, and even in my fussiest handwriting it took me only 35 seconds to pick up an envelope, address it, put it back and pick up a new one - and I dropped my pen on the floor while I was timing! So if you have, say, 50 people giving your kid a gift, you are looking at MAYBE an extra half hour to address them yourself. If it's really that onerous, do labels on your computer. AND YOU HAVE A HOUSE FULL OF GIFTS!!

Her response was, "it's pretty lame to assume everyone will be buying him a nice gift" which I *think* was somehow meant to imply that if someone gives you a NICE gift they deserve to not have to address their own envelopes. But otherwise...?

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01-24-2013 at 5:27 PM

MandJS

Joined on 07-08-2009

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MagickalNarwhal:
What blew my mind was that she was already planning to write out the thank you cards. And she said she had a HUGE family. So I timed it, and even in my fussiest handwriting it took me only 35 seconds to pick up an envelope, address it, put it back and pick up a new one - and I dropped my pen on the floor while I was timing! So if you have, say, 50 people giving your kid a gift, you are looking at MAYBE an extra half hour to address them yourself. If it's really that onerous, do labels on your computer. AND YOU HAVE A HOUSE FULL OF GIFTS!!
Her response was, "it's pretty lame to assume everyone will be buying him a nice gift" which I *think* was somehow meant to imply that if someone gives you a NICE gift they deserve to not have to address their own envelopes. But otherwise...?

Okay. Now I need a link to see this ridiculousness first hand.

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."

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01-24-2013 at 5:34 PM

MagickalNa...

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http://community.babycenter.com/post/a39423259/if_you_plan_on_sending_thank_you_cards...

Am I allowed to link to another board? I will edit if not.

The "nice gifts" comment is on pg 2.

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01-24-2013 at 5:37 PM

MagickalNa...

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I see there have been a few more women agreeing that it's tacky. And I don't see the one that said the only thing tacky about this thread was *my* comment any more.

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01-24-2013 at 5:48 PM

MandJS

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MagickalNarwhal:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a39423259/if_you_plan_on_sending_thank_you_cards...
Am I allowed to link to another board? I will edit if not.
The "nice gifts" comment is on pg 2.

Ahhh. See, therein lies the problem. Babycenter is all puppies farting rainbows and glitter shooting out of unicorns.

AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class. "Sex is between the legs. Gender is between the ears."

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01-24-2013 at 5:48 PM

discobelle

Joined on 09-20-2007

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You are not the rude one.

People are so clueless.

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01-24-2013 at 5:53 PM

Renee1105

Joined on 12-26-2009

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I've had this same argument on another bump board. No, you're not the rude one, asking people to address their own thank yous is rude.

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01-24-2013 at 6:29 PM

Liz4444

Joined on 05-19-2009

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People are idiots. The only place I should be addressing my own envelope is at the dentist.

photo 307df189-2dc4-4bea-9b76-9ac6ceda8155_zps59ea37ee.jpg

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01-24-2013 at 6:31 PM

littleredf...

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Wait, I'm confused. It's rude to address envelopes to people and not ask them to do it themselves? Had I know I would have made DDs baptism guests do it and saved myself a whole 3.5 mins doing all the ones I just sent out! Shoot.

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01-24-2013 at 6:39 PM

PunkyBoost...

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I'm with you, 100%

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01-24-2013 at 6:52 PM

papps101

Joined on 04-24-2011

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Ugh, my SIL had guests do this for me at my bridal shower -- I know she had good intentions, but I felt bad. I think it is incredibly tacky.

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01-24-2013 at 6:59 PM

foxyroxy

Joined on 11-30-2003

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I know people who do think it is the greatest idea ever and I don't personally mind it, but I can't fathom how you simply expressing your opinion is rude. Regardless of whether or not the initial idea is inappropriate, they are the rude ones for attacking you for sharing your thoughts.

Foxy by Nature

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01-24-2013 at 7:22 PM

RibbitGrl9...

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Agree with PP. You're not the rude one. It's such a 'huge" time saver, yet she's already taking the (longer) task of handwriting the thank you card itself. It doesn't take that long to write out the address too. And, I'm sorry, but writing thank you notes to 50 people makes her a special snowflake? I had about that many thank you notes to write for my wedding gifts, and I don't remember it taking me that much longer to do, especially since I spaced them out over the course of two weeks.

Also lol at the poster who talked about sending e-vites and thank you e-mails. lol

I also second the observation of BabyCenter being all sunshine and moonbeams no matter how ridiculous the idea. I remember researching (out of curiousity) just how many people I could find on messageboards that thought throwing your own shower was ok, and- surprise, surprise!- most of BabyCenter is in agreement that there's nothing wrong with it. SMH.

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01-24-2013 at 7:24 PM

ohlordy

Joined on 02-22-2010

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WHY NOT HAVE GUESTS WRITE OUT THEIR OWN THANK-YOU CARDS, TOO. SO THE GUEST(***)-OF-HONOR DOESN'T HAVE TO KEEP TRACK OF WHO BROUGHT WHAT. WHAT A TIME SAVER. HOLY SH!T. I'M A GENIUS.

If you're going to half-ass something like a thank-you note, don't write the damned thing. Just post a facebook status, or something. OBVIOUSLY.

*I dont know if anyone can tell, but this is a massive pet-peeve of mine. Big Smile

serious small o photo 139ed82d-54d7-402f-a035-c38c117f2fb7_zps47c33b3a.jpg

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01-24-2013 at 7:34 PM

RibbitGrl9...

Joined on 06-10-2012

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ohlordy:
WHY NOT HAVE GUESTS WRITE OUT THEIR OWN THANK-YOU CARDS, TOO. SO THE GUEST(***)-OF-HONOR DOESN'T HAVE TO KEEP TRACK OF WHO BROUGHT WHAT. WHAT A TIME SAVER. HOLY SH!T. I'M A GENIUS.
If you're going to half-ass something like a thank-you note, don't write the damned thing. Just post a facebook status, or something. OBVIOUSLY.
*I dont know if anyone can tell, but this is a massive pet-peeve of mine.

Sadly, I've read posts by people who actually say they've done this too. The instances I've seen discussed are when a hostess does it for a MTB or BTB (without the MTB or BTB really knowing about it until it's too late) in the interest of "helping," but it's still facepalm-worthy to me that anyone would think it's okay.

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01-24-2013 at 8:57 PM

kmkaull2

Joined on 02-23-2010

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You are not being rude. I ran into this issue head-on at my wedding shower when my hostess had this "tradition" set up on a table. She's a lovely person, and I'm sure her heart was in the right place. People filled out the envelopes, but I didn't use them . . .just wrote my own and mailed those out.

IVF #1 11/11 BFN IVF #2 3/12 BFN IVF #3 10/12 BFP Beta #1 250, Beta #2 489 Beta #3 1092 DS 5/09 ours through the gift of adoption

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01-24-2013 at 9:20 PM

jess9802

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I just LOVE the "I'm so busy with my bay-bee and this would be such a timesaver!" excuse. If you have time to post on The Bump or Baby Center, you have time to address your own damn envelopes.

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01-24-2013 at 10:20 PM

SunAndRain

Joined on 03-01-2010

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Well, I did this at my shower and also at a shower or two that I hosted. Honestly it never occurred to me that it is rude and I try to stick with traditions and etiquette as best as I can. Apparently I missed this one :)

So while PPs make a good arguement, I can't say that I find this to be a big deal either way. I just have to hope that my friends and family were not offended.

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01-24-2013 at 11:04 PM

Valouche

Joined on 01-25-2013

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spam

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01-24-2013 at 11:42 PM

BakerMommy

Joined on 05-18-2009

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Valouche:
want unique favors for that special day please visit www.glamourgiftstore.com

Speaking of rude, spam reported.

At least use proper grammar if you're going to hawk your wares.

Natural miscarriage @ 5w2d 5/25/11

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01-25-2013 at 6:04 AM

Cranang

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This just reminds me why I don't look at Babycenter.com. And why I recommend all of the special snowflakes who are too delicate to take the truth visit that site.

Of course it's f*cking rude. The woman receiving all of the gifts can't be bothered with addressing envelopes? Are you kidding me?

[URL=http://alterna-tickers.com]

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01-25-2013 at 8:51 AM

ohlordy

Joined on 02-22-2010

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RibbitGrl930:
ohlordy:
WHY NOT HAVE GUESTS WRITE OUT THEIR OWN THANK-YOU CARDS, TOO. SO THE GUEST(***)-OF-HONOR DOESN'T HAVE TO KEEP TRACK OF WHO BROUGHT WHAT. WHAT A TIME SAVER. HOLY SH!T. I'M A GENIUS.
If you're going to half-ass something like a thank-you note, don't write the damned thing. Just post a facebook status, or something. OBVIOUSLY.
*I dont know if anyone can tell, but this is a massive pet-peeve of mine.

Sadly, I've read posts by people who actually say they've done this too. The instances I've seen discussed are when a hostess does it for a MTB or BTB (without the MTB or BTB really knowing about it until it's too late) in the interest of "helping," but it's still facepalm-worthy to me that anyone would think it's okay.

Wow. What will they think of next?!? I may butt heads with my mom quite a bit about certain things, but I'm so glad that she raised my sister and I to write proper thank-you notes. DH thinks it's silly and I have to (almost) nag my SDs to do this for birthday gifts, but it means a lot to me. Then again, i'm the idiot who still prefers a hand-written letter over an email or text message any day.

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01-25-2013 at 8:55 AM

ohlordy

Joined on 02-22-2010

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This is all that comes to mind with this practice ...

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01-25-2013 at 9:24 AM

teralane

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I was invited to a shower and was asked to address an envelope... did I ever receive my thank you card? NO :)

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01-25-2013 at 12:38 PM

rpalen29

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I had to address my own thank you card for a baby shower a few years ago. Total side eye and tacky to me.

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