We went with the flow for the first 4-5 months. BDing as often as possible (which unfortunately isn't that often with DH's work schedule) and just trying to have fun and enjoy the process. When it didn't work in that time frame, we became a bit more proactive and tried OPKs. Never had any luck with that so switched over to CBFM after a long talk. My DH also worries about "stressing too much" over it. We still don't chart for several reasons. And more power to everyone and the way they go about getting KU.

I'd say the biggest disadvantage to not charting (for us and from my perspective) is that you don't really know whether or not you are actually ovulating after stopping BC (or in general). Luckily I had 7DPO blood work that confirmed healthy O so for the most part I don't stress about that.

One thing I would say is to learn about CM. Google (the pictures are a bit gross but very helpful) and what The Great Sperm Race to learn more about EWCM. It really will help you have any idea of when you are fertile and when you ovulated. (It's nothing major - just what you see when you wipe. You've probably noticed it anyway. Now you'll know what it means and why it happens like that.)

Also of note (and just a friendly tip) - most of the ladies on here will not take kindly to questions about possibly being pregnant or late if you aren't temping. It just is what it is. If you can't confirm ovulation, you can't know whether or not you are actually late that month.

Lastly - good luck! Hope your stay here is short and sweet!

ETA: Added words for clarification.

I do not chart, temp,or check my CM but I used an opk one cycle..It showed positive so I was happy that it worked at least and indicated my 2448 hr window. I use an app that I imput info such as days we have sex and my period..it estimates my FW..Before we were way off, just doing it all willy nilly and.wondeted why we werent Ku..of course the app is not 100 percent...to be more accurate you would chart and temp..its definitely an art!!! I took the practice test on FF..yeh, I failed...I also do not stress DH with the details of ttc...when its time to make love...just
do it!! If we dont get pregnant within the one year mark...I probably would
begin charting..the more info the better! GL

H asked my not to chart this cycle so I didn't. I'm somewhat of a control freak so it's been hard not knowing where I am in my cycle, but also liberating in not having control. Anyways, welcome and Good Luck!

*First* we're all doing this the natural way, second no I'm not charting or temping.  I use OPKs because my cycles can range from 22 to 40 days and neither dh or I have the stamina to keep up with the EOD thing for that long lol.  Also I get my period 12-13 days after my positive opk so I know when to test.  My h is an advocate for taking things in stride and trying not to put too much pressure on things as well.

Without temping I felt completely out of control and stressed. If your cycles are not regular it is really hard to know what's going on with your body without it.

When we were TTC #1 we did go with the flow for three months. Then I started charting and got pregnant two months in. It all depends how patient you are. I love charting now and dh isn't involved in it at all. He just knows when it's fw time. 

Not charting or temping. We just started TTC so we shall see how long it lasts. However I'm pretty aware of my other O symptoms so I do have a general idea of what is happening with my body. Good Luck to you!

I am not temping, I am charting and using fertility friend's app, and using OPK. I think we were just  not BD on the 'right' days. Good luck and baby dust to everyone!

I have a very regular 28 day cycle, so I have just used OPKs to help. I've gotten pregnant twice with this method, once in two cycles, once the first cycle. Our 2nd pregnancy resulted in a m/c last October, so this is our first month trying again. If it takes some time, I will consider charting (though I do find it a bit stressful for me). If I had a more unpredictable cycle, I would definitely chart.

NaturallyNayNay:

They only got pregnant after they stopped trying to hard and let nature take it's course. He says his parents also charted when trying to have him. They went at it for years and never resulted in a pregnancy until they stopped trying so hard.

In the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that".

I will be writing down when I have my periods and all just to get an idea of what my cycle is now that I don't have an IUD anymore.

This is just ignorant and insulting. "Relaxing" isn't a cure for infertility.

Of course you're not the only one not charting, and of course it's fine to not chart. Plenty of people get pregnant without it, but there is nothing "unnatural" about charting. All it does is teach you about your cycle, kind of like "writing down when your period starts" but with actual useful information.

Anyway, good luck to you.

SarahL77:

NaturallyNayNay:

They only got pregnant after they stopped trying to hard and let nature take it's course. He says his parents also charted when trying to have him. They went at it for years and never resulted in a pregnancy until they stopped trying so hard.

In the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that".

I will be writing down when I have my periods and all just to get an idea of what my cycle is now that I don't have an IUD anymore.

This is just ignorant and insulting. "Relaxing" isn't a cure for infertility.

Of course you're not the only one not charting, and of course it's fine to not chart. Plenty of people get pregnant without it, but there is nothing "unnatural" about charting. All it does is teach you about your cycle, kind of like "writing down when your period starts" but with actual useful information.

Anyway, good luck to you.

I'm not saying it's a problem. I know plenty of people with infertility issues. My own mother had infertility issues and was told she would never even have children, but she ended up having me eventually. I am saying that for myself and others I have known and that my DH has known it was a burden and a stress. Stress is never needed in any type of situation especially when trying to bring a human into the world and from my point of view I don't want to put any extra stress on my life when for me I don't feel the need for it.

Like I said towards the end of my post I have respect for people who feel that they either need to chart or want to do it. It is all up to the individual. Everyone does what they feel is best for them in the long run. In the future I might chart if I feel it has come to that, but at the moment that won't be a priority. 

Thanks for the luck and I wish you the best as well. 

MMMiller:

*First* we're all doing this the natural way, second no I'm not charting or temping.  I use OPKs because my cycles can range from 22 to 40 days and neither dh or I have the stamina to keep up with the EOD thing for that long lol.  Also I get my period 12-13 days after my positive opk so I know when to test.  My h is an advocate for taking things in stride and trying not to put too much pressure on things as well.

I didn't mean that those who chart are being unnatural I am just saying that it's bring in a whole new factor and a dimension to the situation. In the end a baby is made the same way.

NaturallyNayNay:

SarahL77:

NaturallyNayNay:

They only got pregnant after they stopped trying to hard and let nature take it's course. He says his parents also charted when trying to have him. They went at it for years and never resulted in a pregnancy until they stopped trying so hard.

In the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that".

I will be writing down when I have my periods and all just to get an idea of what my cycle is now that I don't have an IUD anymore.

This is just ignorant and insulting. "Relaxing" isn't a cure for infertility.

Of course you're not the only one not charting, and of course it's fine to not chart. Plenty of people get pregnant without it, but there is nothing "unnatural" about charting. All it does is teach you about your cycle, kind of like "writing down when your period starts" but with actual useful information.

Anyway, good luck to you.

I'm not saying it's a problem. I know plenty of people with infertility issues. My own mother had infertility issues and was told she would never even have children, but she ended up having me eventually. I am saying that for myself and others I have known and that my DH has known it was a burden and a stress. Stress is never needed in any type of situation especially when trying to bring a human into the world and from my point of view I don't want to put any extra stress on my life when for me I don't feel the need for it.

Like I said towards the end of my post I have respect for people who feel that they either need to chart or want to do it. It is all up to the individual. Everyone does what they feel is best for them in the long run. In the future I might chart if I feel it has come to that, but at the moment that won't be a priority. 

Thanks for the luck and I wish you the best as well. 

I find it hard to believe that you will not have any stress if it has been 40 days and you have no idea when and if you ovulated and are getting negative pregnancy tests. You really won't have any idea of how long your cycle is or when you ovulate without charting. For me personally that would cause me more stress than taking my temp every morning. If you can handle that stress, then more power to you, I just like to know what is going on with my body.

Just a word to the wise, apps that you record your period and days you have sex are crap unless it takes into account your temperature. Also, don't come back to the board in 29 days and ask if you are pregnant. That doesn't go over well here and since you aren't charting you won't know for sure when you ovulated, and that will be the first question that you are asked. Right after, did you POAS of course...

OP, I'm tempted to advocate for temping/charting here because I honestly feel like it's the only way to know what your body is doing (short of being monitored throughout your cycle by a doctor). I won't get into all of that, though. I did want to comment on your "relaxing" comment. Comments like that do not go over well on this board. It may seem to your husband that those other couples got pregnant as soon as they "relaxed" and "stopped trying so hard" but there's probably much more to the story that he's not aware of. Many of us on this board do all of these things to relieve the stress of not knowing what our bodies are doing. I'd be significantly more stressed out if I didn't know when/if I was ovulating.

I'm not trying to start a debate with you because you're allowed to go through this process however you'd like, but just know that saying you're not going to chart because so many people you know got pregnant as soon as they relaxed isn't going to go over well.

For the first year I didn't use OPKs or chart (I still don't chart), and I regret it. No one thinks that when they first start TTC that it could be months or even years before they have a successful pregnancy. I don't know of too many people who decide 'let's start trying' and automatically start charting. I didn't even know of charting and BBT until I went so long with no success.If this does turn out to be your fate, you will regret not doing either, because you won't have a record of what's 'normal' for your body already.

I regret not charting, as I'm now on my *sixth* day of positive OPKs and have no idea when I ovulated, or if it's even happened yet. 

Why would YOU charting and you taking YOUR temperature cause stress for your DH? 

Beth&Derek:

OP, I'm tempted to advocate for temping/charting here because I honestly feel like it's the only way to know what your body is doing (short of being monitored throughout your cycle by a doctor). I won't get into all of that, though. I did want to comment on your "relaxing" comment. Comments like that do not go over well on this board. It may seem to your husband that those other couples got pregnant as soon as they "relaxed" and "stopped trying so hard" but there's probably much more to the story that he's not aware of. Many of us on this board do all of these things to relieve the stress of not knowing what our bodies are doing. I'd be significantly more stressed out if I didn't know when/if I was ovulating.

I'm not trying to start a debate with you because you're allowed to go through this process however you'd like, but just know that saying you're not going to chart because so many people you know got pregnant as soon as they relaxed isn't going to go over well.

I am guessing I used the wrong vocabulary to describe what I was trying to say. I am not saying that those couples "relaxed" I am sure it stressed the hell out of them day and night until it actually happened.  

Also just like in my original post I said I "respect" those who do charting and there was no "disrespect" to them because everyone knows what they want to do and if it is something that the particular person feels they need to do then more power to them. Also I am not saying that I won't ever chart. Just right now my DH and I don't want to get into all of that. Now if we come to a place where we decided that we will chart then we will do it. RIGHT NOW it isn't what we want to do.

Again I want to say that I never intended to disrespect anyone for what they feel like they have to do in order to have a baby. I think all of you are brave for being able to share your stories of triumph and loss with one another. I take my hat off to you. I am here also because many of you have been trying longer (charts or no charts) and you have a world of advice for someone like me who is just starting off.

The charts do intrigue me. I have a best friend who has been charting for a short time now and has had success. Right now based on my DH's wishes we won't be doing that at this moment. Believe me I am reading up on it when I have time and getting myself acquainted in case the time comes. I am the type of person who likes to be overly prepared even though one can never been 100% prepared. I want to have a wealth of knowledge on all of this and I look forward to gaining more on these boards.

I am waving the white flag of apologies if I have offended anyone. There is never a want to offend. Just the want for knowledge and camaraderie. 

Charting is not stressful for me. Not knowing what was going on with my body would be stressful.

I realize that you probably weren't trying to offend anyone on purpose, but I just wanted you to know that things like this...

NaturallyNayNay:

At his office he has known plenty of women who have charted and done everything including IVF and to him it's putting to much work into having a baby. They only got pregnant after they stopped trying to hard and let nature take it's course. He says his parents also charted when trying to have him. They went at it for years and never resulted in a pregnancy until they stopped trying so hard.

...won't be well received on this board.

Definitely stick around. There are so many ladies on here who can offer great advice. Just don't keep saying things like the above.  ;)

Beth&Derek:

I realize that you probably weren't trying to offend anyone on purpose, but I just wanted you to know that things like this...

NaturallyNayNay:

At his office he has known plenty of women who have charted and done everything including IVF and to him it's putting to much work into having a baby. They only got pregnant after they stopped trying to hard and let nature take it's course. He says his parents also charted when trying to have him. They went at it for years and never resulted in a pregnancy until they stopped trying so hard.

...won't be well received on this board.

Definitely stick around. There are so many ladies on here who can offer great advice. Just don't keep saying things like the above.  ;)

 

I am charting right now because this is my first cycle off BCP. We aren't going to be actively TTC until July at the earliest though because our wedding isn't until mid May, and I may take a month or two off from charting then. My main reason for charting right now is to make sure I'm ovulating. I will admit it does stress me out, seeing the number every morning and wondering when I'll get the temp shift, etc. So I'm not opposed to taking a break from it later on.

Beth&Derek:

I realize that you probably weren't trying to offend anyone on purpose, but I just wanted you to know that things like this...

NaturallyNayNay:

At his office he has known plenty of women who have charted and done everything including IVF and to him it's putting to much work into having a baby. They only got pregnant after they stopped trying to hard and let nature take it's course. He says his parents also charted when trying to have him. They went at it for years and never resulted in a pregnancy until they stopped trying so hard.

...won't be well received on this board.

Definitely stick around. There are so many ladies on here who can offer great advice. Just don't keep saying things like the above.  ;)

   OP please spend some time reading the sticky at the top of the board and also reading some posts.  Hopefully, that will help you realize how what you wrote is offensive, whether you meant it to be or not.

Edited wording

Not charting or temping, I feel it will happen when it is supposed to. It's worked fine 2 other times.... TTC #3

Good luck!

Hi OP. I know you weren't trying to offend anyone. Maybe lurk a bit more to learn the lingo and what charting is all about. It's dismissive for your DH to say stuff about "relaxing" and "trying too hard" when he doesn't know crap about the struggle of infertility or TTC. I know that's not what you meant but that's how it reads.

AFM, It took us 3 cycles to conceive DS. I did not chart or temp. We just had sex 3-4 times a week. I plan on using the same strategy for TTC #2(we're going to start this year) If we don't get pregnant within 6 cycles I'll start charting, temping, and using OPKs. 

Good Luck! 

I did nothing last time (except take a few OPK tests, all of which came up negative). My periods were as regular as you could get and I knew what day they were supposed to come so I didn't chart. It took us five months to get pregnant (not complaining, just giving info). 

This time around however, I am breastfeeding, and my periods have not gone back to being regular yet (I have had two postpartum periods, and the second one was 6 days late according to the first one, which started on the 12th of December, which is when my periods came before I got pregnant). 

I expect it to take us a bit longer to get pregnant this time around since I am breastfeeding and irregular, so we are trying right now (I'd be perfectly fine if we got pregnant next month though, so it's not like I'm unprepared if I do happen to get pregnant sooner than we think). 

As to answer your question (finally lol), I do not plan to start temping or charting unless something goes wrong or haywire, but even before I'd start temping or charting, I'd call my doctor first, to see what's up, but I won't do that until I've completely stopped breastfeeding.

I also chart my periods like you (flow, how many days, and symptoms) and also when I have intercourse just on my MyCycle phone app. I'm only doing it so I can remember what day I actually got my period last, so I'd have a close date to tell my doctor if I get pregnant when I'm still irregular.

Good luck to you OP! 

ETA: I just thought I would add, that my "method" of trying harder to get pregnant last time was just HIO....It will most likely be our "method" this time around as well. 

peanut+muse:

Beth&Derek:

I realize that you probably weren't trying to offend anyone on purpose, but I just wanted you to know that things like this...

NaturallyNayNay:

At his office he has known plenty of women who have charted and done everything including IVF and to him it's putting to much work into having a baby. They only got pregnant after they stopped trying to hard and let nature take it's course. He says his parents also charted when trying to have him. They went at it for years and never resulted in a pregnancy until they stopped trying so hard.

...won't be well received on this board.

Definitely stick around. There are so many ladies on here who can offer great advice. Just don't keep saying things like the above.  ;)

 

Yep.

Yeah, I started out that way too because I thought charting and temping seemed really overwhelming. It turns out that it just created more stress because I had no idea when to expect my period and would stress over phantom symptoms that meant nothing and "late" periods that weren't actually late because I didn't know that I had ovulated later.

For our second cycle I started using OPKs and temping and since then have been MUCH less stressed. I always know when to expect my period and avoid tormenting myself with phantom symptoms. Also I realized that when we were ready to start trying we were really ready to have a baby and I wanted to give us the best chance possible. I'm about a year into it now, and I am so glad that I took the advice of the ladies on this board and temped. It has made this difficult and frustrating process easier.

I'm shocked how many husbands are against temping. Maybe your DH heard a few stories of why some people think temping makes it more difficult to get pregnant, but my parents tried for 9 months before my mom started temping and they realized that their timing was completely off. Once they knew when she ovulated, they got pregnant that first month. If they had continued without temping, I wouldn't be here right now. 

Regardless, you have to do what's right for you. But try to keep an open mind about temping. It has a lot of benefits and uses and, in my opinion, makes you feel like you have even a little bit of control in this crazy process.

 

ETA: If you're not going to do anything other than write down the days when you get your period, please do not come back to the board saying you have tons of pregnancy symptoms and are "two days late" but still testing negative. The reality is, if you don't know when you ovulated, you don't know when to expect your period. You will just have to be patient and wait for a positive test or your period.

NaturallyNayNay:

The thought of charting or taking temps for my DH is not pleasant and he doesn't want us to stress out over all the formalities and give us new stress that we obviously don't need at this time.

 

Why is it "not pleasant" for DH for you to  take your temp, chart, etc? My husband knows I chart but I'm pretty sure he wouldnt even realise unless I had told him, its all discreet and allows me to actually know when I ovulated.

 

Its great you dont want to stress, but for me not knowing when / if I ovulated would be incredibly stressful.

 

Good luck.

I'm not....yet. This is my first cycle TTC and I only used calendaring (recorded my menstrual cycle for the past few months), observation of CM, and OPKs (a few digital and a few regular ones). I think I will go three cycles before delving into charting and temping.

Every person is different, but the nerd in me finds that being informed and increasing my probability of timing is the least stressful route I could take. To each there own - good luck to you!