So I'm fairly early on still--but on my BMB this topic of baby showers is starting to come up.
I moved across the continent, into the great white north away, from my family, to be with my husband. The only family that is here is my MIL. My girlfriends are now where near starting families (and no I'm not particularly young either!) and so far between MIL and friends no one has offered to throw one for husband and I.
When is the normal time that people start offering to throw showers? And who traditionally is responsible for this? Would it be horribly tacky if husband and I threw a co-ed barbecue-esque shower--if god forbid--no one offers?
I'm 34 weeks now. Our first shower (which was offered on Christmas day by MIL) happened last Sunday. Our next shower at work is happening tomorrow and was offered by my supervisor when I was around 20 weeks. Our third offer came last week from our church Sunday school class and is happening in 2 weeks. Earnest offers and planning for showers, in my experience, tend to happen after the sex is found out and announced (if the parents choose to find out and announce) and happen anywhere in the beginning or middle of the third trimester, depending on how far the MTB may have to travel to attend. As far as who generally offers, pretty much anybody who knows you that wants to offer you this gift- family, friends, co-workers, church groups, hobby groups (like book clubs), etc.
And yes, it is very tacky to throw your own shower if you are going to hold it before the baby is born and call it a shower. It would be perfectly fine, however, to have a Meet the Baby party or a Sip and See after the baby is born, and just call it a BBQ or a gathering. People may bring gifts anyway, but that would be up to them. Calling it a shower basically obligates people to bring a gift. If no one offers anything, then you just do not get a shower.